my mind changes like water, but today, i feel like two is the prettiest number. maybe it’s because everything with her has come in groups of two, now, and with her, everything is pretty. everything makes my heart do starjumps. for example, her two eyes are like an underwater cave –– i could explore them for years. full of turns, and so crystalline you can’t look away. any adventurer, even tough, from centuries ago, freezing in an icecap, would call them beautiful. any version of me would be happy to drown. and she’s almost got two minds, because she can do anything. she’s a river and she’s the ocean. works hard, weaves words. knows worlds. makes worlds. she talks about things i don’t understand and i feel magic, awed like water. she writes about stars, and i feel like i haven’t paid the bills on living. i get my breath repossessed. two months later and i’m just sat here, unpacking the ways i’m so fond it takes my heart out of me. all the ways i’m left chestless. thundering. i remember a pair of months ago, when nothing felt like this, and i’m just happy. really happy. lucky, for once, and left here thinking about bodies of water, and caves, and how the ocean, even when it’s big isn’t always a bad thing. because sometimes it reminds me of her.
two months (maia moen)