Now That’s What I Call Tweeting Volume 1
Someone on the twitters ask me where they could find a list of top SLJ tweets. As far as I know, there's not a service that does this. A few hours of coding later (not including rate limiting :/), here you go.
This is an approximate list of the top 100 SLJ tweets by engagement going back to 2011, weighted by date (to approximate follower count). Since the API doesn't allow you to do very much, and I suspect the web search (which you have to scrape for tweets beyond the last 3,000) purposefully returns incomplete results, we'll all have to live with the idea that the best stuff is still out there.
Blessed is he who, in the name of profit, shepherds the user through the funnel, for he is truly his user's keeper.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
And you will know I am going to IPO when I lay my financials upon you.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
I suspect that most people suggesting college is overrated were still virgins when they graduated.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
I love the smell of funnel optimization in the morning.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Surreal artists ship. pic.twitter.com/yrqGwmbs
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
You refer to the prophecy of The One, who will bring 100x returns to the fund. You believe it's this boy?
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Loser: If it ain't broke don't fix it. Winner: This is a medeocre piece of shit. Let's make something awesome. Be a fucking winner.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Fact: pumping Jay-Z into your startup an hour a day will increase hustle 20%. #cantknockthehustle
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
America is broken when I need to be accredited to invest in startups and some guy living in poverty can gamble his kid's edu $$ on lotto.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
A good founder plays where the Zuck is. A great founder plays where the Zuck is going to be.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Demand! Design, delusion, demo. Dinero, dilution. Develop, Demo. Denial, double down. Deactivate, dénouement. Do over. #startupcycle
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Ask not what my platform can do for you, but what your app can do for my platform.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
And even after all my logic and my theory, I add a 'motherfucker' so you ignant startups hear me.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Every startup needs a belligerent asshole asking "why the fuck aren't we shipping this thing today?"
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Ask not for what users can do for your business model, but what your business model can do for users.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Don't be telling me about social media. I'm the social media fucking master.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
The most formidable enterprise I ever saw was a startup in San Francisco.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Loser: If it ain't broke don't fix it. Winner: This is a medeocre piece of shit. Let's make something awesome. Be a fucking winner.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Dear sport-jacket-over-company-t-shirt guy, there are exactly zero events for which you are appropriately dressed. Pick a fucking side.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
99 Startups, the new hit single. http://t.co/ZLr4HFq8
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Be the synergy you wish to leverage in the world.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Startup evolution: no office -> shared office -> tiny office -> office with a ping pong table -> not allowed to play ping pong -> enterprise
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Step 1: Quit job. 2: Update LinkedIn title to entrepreneur. 3: Network until cash runs out. 4: Declare yourself a veteran. Seek mgmt role.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
VCs taking credit for a startup success is like the salt taking credit for the chicken tasting good.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Name your price for a copy signed by Bezos. https://t.co/re9TyRLw
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
If you haven't been hacked by the Chinese you got to ask yourself, does the shit you're doing really even matter?
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
We call them startups because if we called them fuckups Mom would like the concept of us quitting our day jobs even less.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
I will be selling a new cologne called Elon's Musk. It will make you smell like a fucking badass. #sxsw
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that ideas are property.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Well behaved startups seldom make history. #leanin
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
The economics of building a social network: focus only on growth until the old people move in, then monetize aggressively as it slowly dies.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
A Tesla is not a car. It's an iPhone you can drive, made for people who fucking hate cars.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
When talking to VCs always remember that flattery is the sincerest form of traction.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Startups are just religions with riskier business models.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
That awkward moment @TED when @sherylsandberg leaves @ericries hangin on a high five & he realizes that Lean In wasn't about #leanstartup.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Stop trying to find 10x engineers and start trying to engineer a 10x team.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Rap is the soundtrack of the successful entrepreneur. Country is a much better fit the other 90% of the time.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
My tombstone will read: I'm really sorry I never replied to your email. That day was crazy.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
You've got 99 developers and a woman ain't one. No shit you're having culture problems, I don't feel bad for you son.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
The Uberfication of everything is turning San Francisco into an assisted living community for the young. #youngisthenewold
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
An infinite number of founders, with an infinite supply of ramen and an infinite number of pivots, will eventually disrupt everything.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Some companies do team retreats. I recommend instead scheduling team attacks. Always be on offense, bitches.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Be the hustle you wish to see in the world.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Hipsters who are really serious about software should make their own kombucha.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Startups, hiring someone who went to Brown doesn't count as "prioritizing diversity."
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
If a VC asks a hard question just say "Great question, we've been debating that. What do you think?" They'll always be happy w the answer.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
When people say "X is dead" remind them that Elvis made $55M last year.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Your grandparents didn't have running water growing up & they beat the Nazis. You've got Uber and can't even get your ass to work on time.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Startups are like kids, as soon as they mature enough to not keep you up all night, you start telling yourself doing it again could be fun.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Finished my screenplay about two Google devs who secretly pair program despite a disapproving culture. I call it, Brokeback Mountain View.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Execution is the only moat.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
You either sell a hero or you stay independent long enough to see yourself become the company doing layoffs.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Tag clouds are the mullets of Silicon Valley. Everybody had one back in the day, but it's an unspoken rule that we never talk about it.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Inexperience is temporary. Stupid is forever. #hiring
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? pic.twitter.com/4WgAtTahqm
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Bad lawyers are unbelievably expensive. Good lawyers, by contrast, just charge a high hourly rate.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
The data does not share your opinion.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
It is a little known fact that the plural of unicorn is actually portfolio.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
"If I’d asked my customers what they wanted, they’d have said DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING." — Henry Ford
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Marketers: Capitalists Designers: Socialists Engineers: Libertarians Really Weird Engineers: Objectivists
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
"That's what I love about these startups, man. I get older, they stay the same stage." pic.twitter.com/pFONlSrS89
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
You can tell a lot about a person by what they name their wifi network.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Silicon Valley '08: "I never even use my iPhone as a phone anymore." Silicon Valley '14: "Answering calls from my Mac is *amazing*!"
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Most successful startups are overnight success. That night is usually somewhere between day 1000 and day 3500. https://t.co/hVNKIXn5HD
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
VCs want you to pitch something new. Customers want you to pitch something they already buy, but better. Don't confuse the two.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Daylight Savings, your semi-annual opportunity to learn who on the dev team thought off-the-shelf date/time libraries were "too complicated"
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
The Counterintuitive Thing About Counterintuitive Things. http://t.co/VlPo1soAFw
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
#1: Do you guys have an integration for that? #2: No, but we have an API! #1: Did you just tell me to go fuck myself? #2: Pretty much.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
10x better = hard to build, easy to sell. Marginally better = easy to build, hard to sell.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
"Learn to speak Mandarin in our six week course & become a professional interpreter!" This is what your coder school marketing sounds like.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Startups for programmers: def startup(heart,soul) if(no_demand) die! elsif(cant_execute) die! elsif(unlucky) die! else win!
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Imitation is the sincerest form of market validation.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
"There's too much money!"—Journalists "There are too many funds!" —VCs "There's too much competition!"—Startups "So many choices!"—Consumers
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Don't let anyone tell you reinventing the wheel is a stupid idea. These people would be content pulling a wooden cart behind a horse.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
If you can't get enough product to sell with four engineers, you either don't understand the problem or need better engineers.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Started from a modem now we here.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
My favorite new emoji in iOS 8.3: the Wesley Snipes Demolition Man emoji. 👱🏿👍🏿. pic.twitter.com/46oHYurJuc
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
There are rules to startups like there are laws to physics. Learn them, understand them, and when you discover quantum mechanics, fuck 'em.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
In Silicon Valley it doesn't matter if you're a college dropout*. *Warning: wisdom may not apply to colleges other than Stanford & Harvard.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Whenever someone tells me "coding is the new literacy" because "computers are everywhere today" I ask them how fuel injection works.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Ain't no party like an API party, 'cause an API party don't---Rate limit exceeded!
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Teams that don't ship code weekly ship code weakly.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
If you can't find a rap quote to support your idea, is it even worth blogging?
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Friends don't let friends start companies to address infrequent use cases.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
I'm often tempted to liken Silicon Valley to Logan's Run, but fear nobody here is old enough to get the comparison.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
We should just start making fake kickstarters for amazing thing that should exist and then wait for China to send them to us for $15.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
You can't sell privacy, but fear sells like fucking hot cakes.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Committed founders burn the boats. Smart founders sell the boats and invest the capital in their pivot to land operations.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Ads are the only type of micropayment that has ever worked.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Done is better, then perfect.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
I have this theory that people who feel compelled to constantly RT praise for themselves & their companies weren't held enough as children.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
"Literally everyone I know has this problem!" — Founders building platforms for founders because everybody they know is a founder.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
How about a Mario game where the Princess saves a couple of helpless plumbers?
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
I would back the shit out of a kickstarter for an AI bot that argues with people on Twitter using just statements from their past tweets.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
The irony is that if you want your money to go directly to a musician your best bet is to tip baristas well. pic.twitter.com/VJSFtbmnI8
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Maslow's Unicorn. pic.twitter.com/hweY74Wkxh
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Startup math: positive unit economics + fast growth = short-term negative cash flow + long-term profits
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
The percentage of t-shirts in my closet from now-defunct startups is asymptotically approaching 100.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
To anger 1/2 of SF, suggest that a private co might do something better than government. To anger the other 1/2, suggest it be regulated.
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
Always read the release notes. pic.twitter.com/yp3UdFDHNF
— Startup L. Jackson (@StartupLJackson)
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