♄

light of destruction

[staruin]

★━ 𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐍

# 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐍 - independent, low-activity, extremely headcanon based and likely canon divergent portrayal of 𝐻𝑂𝑇𝐴𝑅𝑈 𝑇𝑂𝑀𝑂𝐸 / 𝑆𝐴𝐼𝐿𝑂𝑅 𝑆𝐴𝑇𝑈𝑅𝑁, the guardian of ruin and rebirth, from sailor moon. dearly cherished by ailli ( she / her / 25+ / pst ). heavy focus on concepts like : death, the after-life, depression, and surviving ruin. strong preference re : 90's anime portrayal of the death buster arc.

note : hotaru, the vessel, is composed of three conflicting personalities. her original self : fragile, anxious, insecure, but extremely warm and gentle. saturn who is colder, methodical, and unforgiving is her soldier ego. mistress 9, the invader and foreign entity, is the one responsible for her blackouts and extremely violent outburst. this blog will likely follow the assimilated personality of both saturn and hotaru.

𝑆𝐼𝐿𝐸𝑁𝐶𝐸....

( 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦. 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴, 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘺, 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 ; 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘥𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩. )

truth be told, despite consuming crystal and watching some 90's here and there, i genuinely have no idea what i am doing. so frankly, i am just here to vibe and be chill, and maybe write lmao.

her relationship with her father in the anime, i felt was very complicated given his affiliation with the death buster. however, unlike the crystal version, his decision, regardless how questionable, was made by the sincere unconditional love he had for his daughter. he wanted her to live, he wanted to relieve her of her pain and suffering, and frankly i felt like hotaru and her dad should be given a second chance as originally portrayed in the anime. she resurfaced not just because of chibiusa who is a dear friend, but because she heard her father's voice and that honestly gave me a lasting impression on how they both cared for each other . also her dad is literally a girl-dad dork who would have spoiled and doted on her once he is better again lmao.

IMPORTANT INFO : due to her age acceleration, by the time the series ends : hotaru is 3 years younger than usagi, which will make her 19 years of age.i am open to role player younger hotaru, but by default her age is 19+.

★ ━ 𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇

links : headcanons other blog : asterites graphic / icon / theme : hyruleshop

QUICK NOTES / GUIDELINES :

01. hello, hello, once again i will reiterate this is an extremely private and likely very slow activity blog. i work very strange and inconsistent hours, and thus availability has been rather scarce. discord is available to mutuals, where i eagerly await to plot / chat / geek out about our muse. also duplicate friendly.

02. due to my work schedule, shipping is not a priority in this blog and it shall remain reserved for close friends that are interested in plotting something beyond the ship. i am ship-exclusive, so i only ship with one version of said muse. once again be aware that i am very low-activity.

03. needless to say, i am someone who adores plotting. i love complex plots, plots that compliments canon, plots that derails from canon, i think plotting is great. my motivation for threads is honestly influenced by context, and if we have that i can definitely go ham. of course, i know not everyone carries my same preference, but i will do my best to accommodate.

04. please be aware : i have grown extremely tired with drama / gossips circulating around the rpc. i will follow / unfollow people at my own discretion and would prefer to stay away from any spectacle or public showcasing. frankly i am just here to write, have fun with mutuals, and preferably not pick sides. my current stance on call out is rather neutral, and i would prefer to make my own conclusion rather take on the pressure of public outcry. i take this level of judgement seriously.

05. keep in mind : i do not do character exclusives. i do not have the energy to commit to anyone's portrayal nor do i want to make anyone expect / wait from me in general. as mentioned above i am really busy, so i cannot and will not do an exclusive writing with any character. i do practice having mains, but even then i am just a very chill and lazy blog lmao.

06. i ask that you tagged your nsfw content, particularly anything involving nsfw imagery. due to the nature of my job, i have free access to tumblr and would prefer not to see any nsfw visuals if it can be tagged and avoided. i am very attentive when it comes to adding tags in my filter list, and if the untagged offence happens repeatedly : then this will be one of the few reasons i will unfollow.

[senshi-moon-empire]

[spctlessminds]

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!

L I G H T

‘  at night i dream of you.  ’ ‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’ ‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’ ‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’ ‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’ ‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’ ‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’ ‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’ ‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’ ‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’ ‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’ ‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’ ‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’ ‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’ ‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’ ‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’ ‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’ ‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’ ‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’ ‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’ ‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’ ‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’ ‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’ ‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’ ‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’ ‘  please don’t go.  ’ ‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’ ‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’ ‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’ ‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’ ‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’ ‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’ ‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’ ‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’ ‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’ ‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’ ‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’ ‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’ ‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’ ‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’ ‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’ ‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’

D A R K

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’ ‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’ ‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’ ‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’ ‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’ ‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’ ‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’ ‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’ ‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’ ‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’ ‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’ ‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’ ‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’ ‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’ ‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’ ‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’ ‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’ ‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’ ‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’ ‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’ ‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’ ‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’ ‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’ ‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’ ‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’ ‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’ ‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’ ‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’ ‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’ ‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’ ‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’ ‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’ ‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’ ‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’ ‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’ ‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’ ‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’ ‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’ ‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’ ‘  would you even miss me?  ’ ‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’ ‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’ ‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’ ‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’ ‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’ ‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’ ‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’ ‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’ ‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’ ‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’ ‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’ ‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’ ‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’ ‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’ ‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’ ‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’ ‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’

[staruin]

main verse is a mix of animanga --- but in this house, the outer senshi returns hotaru back to her papa. we believe in second chances here.

[sailorsenshigifs]

[staruin]

thinking about 30th century saturn, that never awoken --- and being reborn --- and despite being in an era of longevity, mistress 9 influence continues to haunt and exhaust her earthly vessel.

[sailorsenshigifs]

[unmeiha]

#𝐔𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐈𝐇𝐀 : independent, private, selective, unaffiliated roleplay blog for an original warrior of light ᴋᴏʜᴀʀᴜ ʙᴜʜᴇɴ from square enix's ғɪɴᴀʟ ғᴀɴᴛᴀsʏ xɪᴠ, featuring a crossover au verse for square enix's ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴇɴᴅs ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ.

↺ & ♡ if interested in interacting! non-roleplay blogs dni.

and when you falter, burdened by the choice to care, weighed by armor that you wear, how much soul is left to bear? but your wings will not last, the wax will not hold, and at some point you'll see all you did was get old. you're a graveyard, my love, of all you could be. you are everything you want, just not everything you need.

[staruin]

p3 hotaru being bby daughter to dr tomoe who was like a head researcher likely after the death experiment.

[sailorsenshigifs]

[rosahope]

mother,  i  have  pasts inside  me  i  did  not  bury  properly.  some  nights,  your  daughter  tears  herself  apart  yet  heals  in  the  morning. / ©

[staruin]

hotaru was able to return and fight off mistress 9 because of the love she has for her father and chibiusa ---- and you will pry it from my cold dead hands.

[staruin]

‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way, it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’ ( do you remember when i said akari wouldn't hesitate to kill hotaru unlike usagi if she felt it was to save the rest of earth :))))))))))))))))))))) )

★ ━ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 ┊ @cosmama

𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐂 𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 : where there is life, death shall follow. the birthright of stars was always meant to collapse and in the eve of their light lies their own devastation. it was always primordial thing to witness life's manifestation in the shape of you, followed by the arrival of the pitiful depths of her. light and death : from one messiah to another, locked by the grandiose of inevitability. you are the beginning : the mother of life and heavenly order. she was the end : the purveyor of silence and fated executioner. together they are meant to be the enigmatic equations to humanity's boundless existence.

and yet ... here lies another archaic decree : they should never meet. death must stay hidden, sealed, and forgotten. life must thrive, overcome, and survive. throughout these countless lifetimes across time : how many times did your outer-soldiers sealed her back to her faraway pedestal ? how many more times did she seek to destroy everything you held dear while wearing such a familiar comforting face ? death is never a stranger, and neither was the warm gentle embrace of your weary existence.

❝ it cannot be helped, ❞ sadden timbre unveils her own chosen words of acceptance. her heart is warm with remorse, no doubt an after-effect to your shinning beacon. things are different, she surmise. throughout the ages : saturn's orbit never truly connected to your vessel as she did with the trajectory standing before her. unlike the others, you understood solitude and all of its silence. unlike the others, you realize what it was like to stand your ground all alone and misunderstood. she, like you, knows the emptiness and weight of every difficult decision. you are tired, so was she. everything felt too heavy, and yet here they were. life and death // destruction and light. it was almost too comforting, if she allowed herself to admit.

❝ without destruction, stars cannot be born. without light, life cannot flourish. we stand on opposites ends of rebirth and infinity. you and i, will always be a part of each other. ❞ a faded smile manifest on the corner of her lips, and while there is still a heavy wave of uncertainty in the air, there was no denying the peace she felt in your reflection. the soul of saturn is not like the other planetary guardians. her spirit is an enemy, it is an ally, it is familiar, and it is the unknown. she understood your uncertainty well, and yet a part of her still continues to wish otherwise.

perhaps one day, she can earn a place to fight by your side. perhaps one day, things can be different. but for now, she understands and she hopes that some day : you too can understand her too.

[elpisrestored]

This FLOWER don't belong to me

[spctlessminds]

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!

L I G H T

‘  at night i dream of you.  ’ ‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’ ‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’ ‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’ ‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’ ‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’ ‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’ ‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’ ‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’ ‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’ ‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’ ‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’ ‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’ ‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’ ‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’ ‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’ ‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’ ‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’ ‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’ ‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’ ‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’ ‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’ ‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’ ‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’ ‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’ ‘  please don’t go.  ’ ‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’ ‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’ ‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’ ‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’ ‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’ ‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’ ‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’ ‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’ ‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’ ‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’ ‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’ ‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’ ‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’ ‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’ ‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’ ‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’

D A R K

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’ ‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’ ‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’ ‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’ ‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’ ‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’ ‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’ ‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’ ‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’ ‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’ ‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’ ‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’ ‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’ ‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’ ‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’ ‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’ ‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’ ‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’ ‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’ ‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’ ‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’ ‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’ ‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’ ‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’ ‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’ ‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’ ‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’ ‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’ ‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’ ‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’ ‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’ ‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’ ‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’ ‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’ ‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’ ‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’ ‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’ ‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’ ‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’ ‘  would you even miss me?  ’ ‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’ ‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’ ‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’ ‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’ ‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’ ‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’ ‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’ ‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’ ‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’ ‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’ ‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’ ‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’ ‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’ ‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’ ‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’ ‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’ ‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’

[staruin]

90's gave hotaru papa the aura of being such a girl dad.

[staruin]

she so pretty and for what.