♯ crying - lightning . mp3

i am a monster. i always have been. how foolish of me to think i was anything but  –  a.p.g.

[palpattine]

[stefancowell]

palpattine‌:

He stabbed my mom four times in the chest.

[stefancowell]

AVA RUIZ  –  idlesuns‌.

Annoyance is evident on dainty features, and she flicks eraser shavings off her desk to distract herself from it. “ Wow, sick literary reference, Stefan, I didn’t know they had the Harry Potter books in juvie ! ” Mock excitement is put on in her voice, through she doesn’t match his smirk — and eyes glare into him so deeply it wouldn’t have mattered if she had a smile ear to ear. If he wanted to drag himself down, FINE, but he wasn’t taking her with him. She turns back away from him, attempting to keep her head held high as number two pencil scratches her name across the top of the page. And then, under her breath: “ I’m sure your mom would get a real kick out of paying to get you out of summer school. ”

     EYES NARROW. there’s irritation to be felt, and initially  –  there is. but as she goes on, what is located is AMUSEMENT. lips quirk, a chuckle stifled.  “  never been to juvie.  ”   a correction. and a miracle, too. she hits the nail on its head with her latter comment, one that should’ve been taken into account when making the first. his mom did throw the whole of her bank account at whatever situation he presented her with. whatever to get stefan himself out of her sight. sure, juvie would’ve been a  SURE THING  –  allowing irene swann a fuck - load of time free of her son. but the consequences that would ensue a smear on his record… she might’ve sacrificed a house void of stefan, but in the long run  –  it’d been the RIGHT MOVE. he knew it, too. every decision she made, and how they all related to him, he could decipher and pick apart with an expertise that made you wonder if it was all a simple PROJECTION.   “   i’m sure she would.   ”   he continues.   “   the one percent gets off on that sort’a thing. problem - solving.   ”   stefan’s not snobbish, and certainly not struck by vanity, but he knew it was  EASY  :  shining a light on others’ financial situations, poking at their insecurities and wants  –  items of luxury which they could not afford. sometimes it was superficial, like a new phone or tickets to a concert. other times, it was rooted into their very being… clothes on their backs kissed with holes, and food on the table scarce. he doesn’t think he’s better because he has it, money, but it’s  RIGHT THERE  –  a means of provocation presented to him, patiently awaiting his use.   “   not ‘sum you could relate to, is it.   ”   he gives her a once-over, deliberate and vacant.

[stefancowell]

DAISY ARCHER  –  lcvemagicked‌.

EXHAUSTED  is  the  only  way  to  describe  how  she  feels  by  this  conversation  .    the  girl  never  seems  to  shut  up  ,    never  seems  to  let  her  get  a  word  out  of  her  mouth  &  it  takes  everything  in  her  to  not  tell  to  close  her  mouth  for  at  least  five  seconds  to  actually  breath  &  get  some  oxygen  to  that  empty  brain  up  there  .    but  she  can’t  say  that  despite  the  lack  of  friendship  between  the  two  of  them  ,    not  to  this  girl  when  their  parents  were  friends  :    that  would  be  like  attempting  suicide  if  her  mother  heard  what  she  had  said  .    instead  the  girl  is  unnaturally  quiet  seeming  like  she’s  actually  listening  until  the  blonde  finally  leaves  ,    finding  someone  else  to  listen  to  her  boring  babbling  .    eyes  roll as  the  girl  leaves  her  sight  &  she  lets  out  a  groan  she’d  been  holding  in  but  it  doesn’t  take  long  before  someone  else  is  bothering  her  once  more  .    ❛     yeah  because  running  away  is  such  a  normal  reaction  to  have  to  human  interaction  .    i  should  probably  take  your  advice  &  run  away  right  now  ,    it’ll  probably  save  me  from  being  ANNOYED  twice  in  one  day  .    ❜

     the girl could’ve taken the  EASY ROUTE,  compliance, but she doesn’t  –  and thus, intrigue manifests in a restless mind.   “   ‘cept i’m not being nice.   ”   he argues.   “   courteous, maybe.   ”   trait learned from mother dearest, hardly ever put into practice. the cowell’s weren’t WARM, they were POLITE  –  kept people at arm’s length and money in the bank.   “   the sooner you learn the difference, the sooner you get away from fucktards like blondie over there.   ”   he’s not afraid to gesture, however vaguely, in the stranger’s general direction. what was she gonna do… withhold an invite to her birthday pool party? pass.   “   what did she want from you?   ”   stefan goes on.   “   c’mon, must’ve been somethin’  –  ride to prom? fashion tips?   ”   a grin forms, widening with growing amusement.   “   lord knows she needs it. i mean, floral on plaid? talk about fashion week reject.   ”   a tone is taunting, and the look of the cheshire comes to a pause.

[bob-belcher]

[stefancowell]

bob-belcher‌:

You know what? Even if I knew I wouldn’t tell you anyway.

[stefancowell]

AVA RUIZ  –  idlesuns‌.

SIMILARLY TO THE BOY sitting next to her, Ava felt as if she was beyond the school that spread out before her. Not in a way that was conceited, with lauded inaccuracies about her intelligence, or in a way where she hated the other people at the school — she was just bored, and lonely. Kris and Casper would be gone from the halls of O’Neill in a matter of weeks, and she still had another year of tests and homework with the added stress of college applications. The anxiety of becoming FRIENDLESS alone was enough to drive her crazy — so when the physics study guide was slammed on her desk, and the teacher gave a mumbled order to partner up, she didn’t even have to look around the room to wait for panic to set in. After a minute, however, she did, and saw what she expected: that desks were pushed neatly together, heads ducked together and pencils scratching. The only OTHER person left alone was — … shit. She says ‘ excuse me ’ once, then twice, and it’s at the third time that he snaps back with something, and if she had less self-control, she would have smacked him. “ That’s not how migraines work, ” She says, bitterly, ignoring the fact that it’s an insult. “ And we’re the only losers without a partner, and I’m not failing so you can sit there and stare edgily off into the distance. ” 

     back home  –  wherever home would be  –  stefan wasn’t  APPROACHED.  in most places, those chosen by his mother  (  he thinks it’s a deliberate move on her part,  )  the new kid is avoided, feared. he didn’t have to work very hard to keep people at bay, though he didn’t mind going the extra mile, either. HERE, to black spring natives specifically, the guy with a bowie and black combats wasn’t the most terrorizing image. it was the fucking black rock witch. and for that reason, amongst many, he despised her.  “  pretty sure it is.  ”  he counters. and she goes on  –  for all eternity it seemed.  “  yeah? some of us like it that way. so, why don’t you scram… solve x minus y all on your own. think you could handle that?  ”  his tone is hostile, but a smile flashes by  –  theatrics put on for the passing teacher. he couldn’t be BOTHERED, really, and he usually never could. but with two weeks left until summer break, even stefan feared the possible suspension. he wouldn’t hear the end of it, all summer long. so, he plays nice  –  ish.  “  i could care less about failing, hermione.  ”

[stefancowell]

STARTER FOR AVA RUIZ ( @idlesuns ) !

academically, he does just alright  –  better than most. socially, now that was a different story. thus, school becomes a conflict : another INNER TURMOIL added to an already troubled boy, surrounded by people who couldn’t begin to comprehend the severity of it all. soon enough, it’d all be OVER  –  one way or another. but until then, he was stuck there, forced into interactions with strangers whose names he couldn’t wait to forget. less than two weeks left… and he’d get a couple of months rest, recharging for that final stretch. TWO WEEKS  –  she says something, he’s not paying attention. he hasn’t for the past fifteen minutes or so. and then she says something else, and he’s forced to redirect his focus her way  –  stare without emotion, mouth quirked  expression so contradicting that it’s almost laughable. almost.  “  i was just now wondering,  ”  he begins.  “  if there was anything that could actually push my headache into a full blown migraine... and there you are!  ”

[gifmarvel]

[stefancowell]

13reasonssource‌:

Should I be, Justin? Scared.  – requested by @madeleineengland

[stefancowell]

tag drop ):

[stefancowell]

STARTER FOR DAISY ARCHER ( @lcvemagicked ) !

CYNICISM  –  it runs deep in the cowell genes, and even deeper in the case of stefan . burrowed inches beneath spotted skin, negativity takes root in his soul. sometimes he wondered why that was. most of the time, though, he didn’t care why. like most things, it just was  –  and things that were, they were better left be. combats are kicked up on his desk, the chewed up stick of a long dissolved lollipop dangling between his teeth. his classmate, or rather  –  acquaintance, speaks to some uppity bitch, looking mighty confused as to why the interaction is taking place in the first place. student council president, or yearbook, maybe ? he hadn’t been around long enough to learn their names and places on the social hierarchy, he never was. except now, with the karmic curse of black spring consuming his family  –  maybe he would. blonde walks away, brunette stays put, and he leans forward. “ NEXT TIME  –  if someone’s being nice to you, and you don’t know them, run away. no one is nice to you just to be nice to you. ”

[teamwang]

[stefancowell-moved]

bitch

[  i_dont_fuck_with_you_big_sean.mp3  ] 

[stefancowell]

STARTER FOR FAWN HAMILTON ( @geysr· ) !

new to black spring, newer to o’neill high school  –  stefan stands by an empty locker, one he hadn’t gotten the OPPORTUNITY to fill, watching as the school year comes to a close. moving two weeks before summer vacation, one would think the boy could’ve opted out of attendance, but irene had insisted. the woman had gotten into a squabble with the principle over it, too. as if there was anything for him to do at the neighboring high school. he suspected she simply wanted to be rid of him, be free of her son’s presence for as long as she could before summer break swept through black spring. the feeling was mutual. fingers tap against his backpack strap, drumming away to a silent tune. and he spots her, cornered by what he presumes to be local JOCKS. even without letterman’s he could spot them. arrogant and loud, towering above an unmoving blonde. she holds her ground, and though he cannot hear the quip she shoots at the group, he finds amusement in the exchange. bell rings, crowd disperse, and for the first time in the weeks spent at o’neill  –  he approaches someone. shoulder propped against blue metal, and eyes sizing her up. “ need me to kill anyone? ” he speaks the offer as it is WEIGHTLESS, free of negative connotation. like a favor,  –  carry your books, walk you to class … 

[romnsgodfrey-deactivated2016061]

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]

[stefancowell]

mikkeljensen‌:

Toby Wallace in The Society (2019—)