Life As Stefanie

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep."

[stefanienatascha]

Hey, i watched your videos on YouTube and I was wondering how you edit them? They are fun to watch :)

Hi there, thank you so much! I use iMovie. :)

[stefanienatascha]

Hi! I've recently stumbled onto your ormond vlog back in 2017. I am planning to apply and am wondering if there were many students coming there with a scholarship to stay at ormond? and what percentage of them are there.. Looking forward for your reply! :)

Hi there!! I unfortunately wouldn’t know about statistics like this, I’m sorry about that. I did have a few friends who were there on scholarship(s) though, so I do know that there would be a fair few in this group. :)

[stefanienatascha]

Do you have any fears and how do you cope with them?

I definitely do have fears - one of the biggest ones would be losing my loved ones. What has helped me deal with that fear and a few others would be talking about them with people I trust. Talking about it usually helps me rationalise my fears and prevents me from overthinking/ letting the fears get out of control in my head. Through this, I understand that I have many positive things that can overthrow this fear... I understand that even though this fear comes true, I will still stay standing and I will be able to find the courage to get through difficult ordeals caused by the realisation of this fear. Some temporary ways of dealing with my fear would be deflating it with humour or even just exercising to refocus my mind. The fears will always be there, but what would be great is if we were to build mechanisms that can help us face the fear head-on - e.g. building a strong support circle, learning to see the positives amidst the negatives, learning to see through the irrationality of the fear, etc. :)

[stefanienatascha]

Any upcoming travel plans?

Yea heading back to be with my family for about 1.5 months :) and then to Taiwan a little further into the future for a regatta with my dragon boat team wewww!!

[stefanienatascha]

Do you think being in a relationship also means you have to make some sacrifices such as having lesser time with family etc? Would that be worth it to you?

I think being in a relationship would definitely mean having to make sacrifices - something has to give to accommodate the new addition into your life. It would, unfortunately, be quite unrealistic to expect that this new person would assimilate 100% into your life such that your schedule or routine would not have to budge. There are, however, ways to go around this: find a compromise between (e.g.) spending a lot of time with your family before the relationship and spending little/ no time with your family after getting into the relationship. :) You could, for instance, bring your partner into the picture for everyone to hang out together!

The key is to find overlaps between your old schedule/ routine/ habits and your partner’s own schedule/ routine/ habits. Neither of you should try to derail the other too much from their old lives such that major sacrifices have to be made. Instead, find a compromise so that both would be able to give and take a relatively balanced amount. If any partner starts to feel like they’re losing/ sacrificing too much because of the other person, this would not be healthy for the relationship and it could risk it falling apart in time.

Don’t sacrifice too much for anybody. You need to put yourself first in certain situations and evaluate what it is that brings great value to your life. If it is family, make sure that that isn’t something that you don’t sacrifice majorly. (Remember - no partner is worth losing your family for!) Perhaps you could look at other parts of your schedule - is there anything else that you would be alright with not spending so much time with? :)

If you feel deeply about this person becoming someone potentially significant for you, then sacrifices (within means of maintaining your sanity) would be worth it. :) x

[stefanienatascha]

Would you want to go back to bangkok again?

I would, but I think if I were to go back to Thailand, I would prioritise less city-like places like Chiang Mai and also perhaps the islands like Koh Samet. :)

[stefanienatascha]

How long did you spend in bkk and where did you go/ what did you do there? :)

I spent about a week :) I wrote about my experiences here:

1. http://www.stefanienatascha.com/2016/11/13/a-major-throwback-thailand-pt-i/

2. http://www.stefanienatascha.com/2016/11/14/a-major-throwback-thailand-pt-ii/

[stefanienatascha]

hi! We know each other from Crescent! I remember wayyy back in 2015 I asked you for advice to overcome my burnout from O levels, and your advice really helped me, and I'm back again, now in my second year of uni, because I've been feeling kind of troubled recently. I don't know how to describe it but it feel like I not an individual? Like I sometimes feel like I don't know who I am or even what my personality is like. I feel so distanced from myself. It's a really weird feeling.

Hun :’) I’m so glad we’ve reconnected again 4 years later and that my advice helped you through that stressful period! This feels like a reunion of sorts - hello! 

I’m sorry to hear that things have been difficult on your end, it is such a troubling and unsettling feeling to feel separate from who you are as an individual, and I’m glad that you’ve acknowledged this and are seeking direction to get out of this lull. Do you think that this perceived sense of separation from your identity could be because of the turbulence that Uni life could have been for you thus far? It is easy to get lost amidst such a storm when you might be putting everything and everyone else before yourself, before rest, and before reflection. Perhaps a good place to start dissecting the situation would be gaining an understanding of your day-to-day life. What does your daily schedule look like at the moment? Could it be that you’re lacking self-care? Could it be that you’re pursuing goals, etc. that are not in line with your values? Could it be that you’re conforming to a norm that you’re not comfortable with? These are things you could perhaps reflect on. :) I’d be happy to talk them through with you. Feel free to contact me on Facebook/ Insta/ email, whichever suits you and if you’re comfortable to do so. x  

[stefanienatascha]

Have you been to bkk before? If yes how was it and if no would you want to go!

I have, yes! I loved it for the culture and the architecture. The Thai are such beautiful people, too :’) I actually remembered going on several day trips out of BKK as well and that definitely enriched my experience a lot more because I saw what life there was like - both in the city and in the outskirts of the city.

[stefanienatascha]

What are some gifts you had given to your friends/ partner?

I love gifting gift cards to their favourite store (it usually is activewear) and also ‘buying an experience’ for something I know they’d enjoy, e.g. going to a certain artist’s concert, bouldering, pottery, etc. :)

[stefanienatascha]

Hi! What was the max amount you spent on a birthday gift for a significant other and a very important friend?

Oooh I think the most expensive thing that I paid for on my own was around $90-100. However, if something were to have been split among a couple friends, I’d probably go to a maximum of $140-150 depending on how many of us are there to share the cost.

[stefanienatascha]

What’s your daily everyday life like?

No day is ever a repetition of another, but they would usually include the same few aspects: setting aside quiet time with God, doing uni work, occasionally meeting professors I’d love to work with for my Honours year, doing 1 or 2 workout/ training sessions, journalling, Facetiming family and friends, getting admin work done for my dragon boat club, chatting or hanging out with friends, and doing some household chores. Sometimes I feel spontaneous or adventurous and do something out of the ordinary… like a road trip or something of that sort. :) Just anything to keep life exciting and meaningful!

[stefanienatascha]

What is the maximum amount you will spend on a dress?

Most of my thrifted dresses go for around $8-25 (so $25 would be my limit for thrifted dress); the last non-thrifted dress I bought was around $50 so maybe that’d be my limit non-thrifted dresses. :)

[stefanienatascha]

Do you usually shop online/ in store for clothing?

For activewear, I only shop online (because I only buy from their outlet site and one can only have access to this online) or at DFO (factory outlet stores). 

For normal everyday clothing, I never ever shop online because the cutting isn’t ever as straightforward as activewear and so I’d have to try it on to be sure. :)

[stefanienatascha]

Do you do thrift shopping or buy first hand clothes? What is the maximum amount you will spend on a dress for instance?

I thrift everything except activewear. 

Oh! What type of dress do you mean? A thrifted summer dress would usually go for around $5-8, while a more fancy party dress/ gown could go up to about $18-25 depending on the thrift shops you go to. :)

[stefanienatascha]

Hi Tash! I’m thinking about coming to Melbourne for uni next year, do you have a guideline of how much living costs would be? I’m not sure whether to go for a residential college or not... love your videos btw!

Hi there!! :) I apologise for this late reply - I haven’t been very active on Tumblr of late. It’s exciting that you’re considering Melbourne for tertiary education! I love it here very much - I’ve met some of the best people I know to date. :’) Staying in a Residential College is definitely much more expensive than student accommodation (e.g. UniLodge, Student Village, etc.) or staying in a sharehouse, but it is definitely the quickest way to make a lot of friends within a short period of time. A lot of international students usually stay a year in a Residential College and then move out into a sharehouse with some friends they met there. :)

Having grown up in Singapore most of my life, life in Melbourne is definitely much more expensive, but in saying that, I definitely have found a way to make it way more affordable (e.g. by cooking my own food, cycling around instead of taking public transport/ uber, thrifting clothes, working, etc.). Where there’s a will, there definitely will always be a way. :) It would be very difficult for me to give you a guideline because it would largely depend on your lifestyle. Do you go to the gym and thus need to pay for a gym membership? Do you like to eat out a lot? What is your preferred mode of transport? Do you like to go on road trips? If there’s anything in particular I could help with, please let me know!

P.s. Thank you for the love!! x

[stefanienatascha]

What are deal breakers for you in a relationship? How do you know when is it time to let go?

These are my deal breakers in a relationship. It would be time to let go if one constantly feels uninspired, like they’re being dragged down, being stopped from/ made to feel silly being their truest selves, prevented from growing or realising their dreams, made to feel small and insignificant, or being verbally/ physically abused. I also came across this article some time back. I truly hope this helps - is everything alright? :(