STFU, Couples

Dying Alone: Looking Better Every Day! var sc_project=5906572; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="a64bebe6"; Submissions can be sent to: [email protected]. Please make sure that submissions are in the form of a picture file (jpeg, and etc...) Special thanks to The Girl from New York and Fraulein N for creating a succinct description.

[stfumarrieds]

This Hipster Couple's Wedding And Anniversary Photos Are So Badass

Love at first sight. Missing: One ferret and one iguana. Please return to photo shoot once found. 

[stfumarrieds]

I like the way Ashley thinks. 

[stfumarrieds]

What a charming, romantic suitor Brenda has. There's nothing like a lover who demands a return with interest on their investment to really make you feel like a professional. 

[stfumarrieds]

The procreation police have decreed that only the coupled may breed. 

[stfumarrieds]

The ballad of the unsung hero, aka, the "nice" guy. 

Looking for submissions for Valentine's Day! 

[stfumarrieds]

Boo! Nothing inspires trust and says, "'til death do us part" like a wedding dress and a hunting rifle. 

Happy Halloween!

[thatbadadvice]

Dear Prudence, 23 October 2014:

Dear Prudence, I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, but on one of the more “modest” streets—mostly doctors and lawyers and family business owners. (A few blocks away are billionaires, families with famous last names, media moguls, etc.)...

[stfumarrieds]

From the submitter: "An entire relationship with a new guy has played itself out in a week."

[stfumarrieds]

Ever wondered what Lisa Frank's tween FB page would look like? Behold!

[stfumarrieds]

Improper use of a semicolon? That's the least of your problems, tho. 

I know it's been a while but I'm still kicking around and still accepting submissions. 

[stfumarrieds]

Why, indeed?

[stfumarrieds]

I used to give out love coupons when I was a tween and teen. 

[stfumarrieds]

Note to self: Do not check the blog's email with children in the room. No, really. This picture frightened a small child. These testes frighten me as well as I am convinced they have been crafted from play dough.  

From the submitter:

This is in regards to "Cancer Selfies" the most ridiculous, self centred act the internet has birthed. Donating and bringing awareness every single day  would do more than taking photos of one's naked mug. 

Nothing says charity like the humblebrag, except for the bafflingly misplaced humblebrag.

[stfumarrieds]

Whatever you do, don't cross Diane. She'll fashion a shiv out of a fork and fork you good. 

[stfumarrieds]

I have come to a place where I look at this and feel nothing but relief. Relief that they didn't post pictures of the blow-job that followed the steaks. I have become jaded. 

Wenchamatic? Is that the name of a new sex robot? 

[stfumarrieds]

I can't use any exclamation points because THEY STOLE ALL THE EXCLAMATION MARKS.

[stfumarrieds]

Some things are better left unsaid and some people are better left unfucked. 

Theresa, you're welcome to come and play with us any time. "[S]hared your little pecker with a friend"!