a world is lost

The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again. In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night. While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight. You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate. You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take. So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind, and do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind.

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fear ( of the unknown ). | kaya & dylan

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fckdylobrien:

As Kaya sat down next to him again, his eyes caught sight of the hospital band taped around her wrist. “You decided to get checked out too? I’m glad. I don’t want you suffering from the bug if it gets worse for you.” Dylan nodded his head in agreement as he checked his phone to see if anyone had replied. Thomas had texted him back letting Dylan know that he would tell the rest of the cast and that he hoped all was well. He knew he and Kaya would have to explain themselves later, but they would cross that bridge when they got there. “I know. I don’t have the greatest memory of hospitals either.” Dylan stretched his arm out over Kaya’s shoulders and pulled her close. His lips gently came in contact with the top of her head and planted a small kiss there. “But everything will be okay. We have a tough little guy. He’s going to get through this. And we’re going to get you back to feeling better too. I promise.” 

Forty minutes went by much quicker than Dylan had anticipated. Before he knew it, a nurse was calling for both Kaya and Cayden to step into a room in the back. “Do you want me to come with you, babe?” Dylan asked, not quite sure if he was allowed into the back with the two of them. 

Glancing up as her name was called, Kaya felt some sort of relief wash over her. At least they wouldn’t have to wait eight hours for medical care like most places. Although, she really hoped it wasn’t their celebrity status that had gotten them pushed ahead. “Sure. The company could be nice.” She nodded, leaning down to pick up the handle of the car seat that held their sleeping one year old. God, he was getting heavy. 

Following the doctor silently, Kaya entered the room and set Cayden down again, bending on her knees to wake him up. Luckily, the boy wasn’t fussy and sat patiently as the doctor checked him over, only whining a little when he was forced to deal with the tongue depresser. Kaya couldn’t blame him. Once the doctor had finished and turned his attention to Kaya, she handed Cayden over to Dylan and began describing her symptoms as asked. Only when the doctor suggested it being anemia ( feeling faint, pale, sore ) did the doctor suggest running a quick blood test. Kaya agreed, leaving the room for a quick moment to get blood drawn. It would explain all of her problems. After a few long moments, she returned to the room alone with a bandage on the inside of her elbow. “This is so much more exciting than having dinner with the cast.” She laughed, taking a seat in an empty chair. “How are you enjoying the parent life, Dyl?” 

[scodelariokaya]

          Happy birthday Kaya!    (march 13th)

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fear ( of the unknown ). | kaya & dylan

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fckdylobrien:

“I did spend time at the pool. I would have invited you guys along. But I figured you were both catching up on sleep because of the time difference. I didn’t want to bother you if Cayden was sleeping or something.” Luckily, they had plenty of days ahead of them to have little family days lounging by the pool, which was something Dylan looked forward to. Dylan’s eyebrows furrowed as he glanced over at Kaya as she mentioned being sick as well. “I’m sorry, babe. Maybe you should get checked out while we’re there too. Especially if you have the same thing Cayden has. I don’t want you passing it back and forth between one another either.” Dylan knew that it was a risk being around both Kaya and Cayden while they were sick. But his main concern was making sure both of them were alright, so it was a risk he was willing to take.

The trip to the hospital seemed to fly by and they were pulling into a parking spot before they knew it. “I know. It will be okay though. I promise.” Dylan protectively draped his arm around the brunette as he pulled her close and placed a gently kiss on the top of her head. Dylan took Cayden’s carrier into his arms and found a seat in the waiting area as Kaya checked him in. Luckily, the infant was still sound asleep. Dylan knew he should be waking up soon, since his naps never lasted for very long but he was thankful that his son was at least sleeping off the illness he was currently fighting. “We’re going to get you taken care of, don’t worry buddy.” The man’s fingers brushed over the delicate hairs on top of his son’s head, smoothing them over in a calming and comforting way. “I’m surprised he’s managed to sleep this long,” the man commented when Kaya returned to them.

Heading to the front desk, Kaya took her time with registering Cayden and getting her billing address sorted. All of the actors on their movie had insurance, but she wasn’t entirely sure if that extended to their kids, so she just wanted to make sure. As the nurse typed in the little boys information, Kaya retrieved her son for a quick second, taking him over to the nurse so that she could place a hospital band on both him and her. There was no harm in getting checked out, right? If anything, she could have some confirmation that it was nothing more than the flu bug that had her feeling so down and worn. After being told the wait time would be a little over forty minutes, Kaya thanked the nurse and returned to Dylan, settling Cayden in his seat at their feet. 

“It’ll be forty minutes.” She informed him, running a hand through her dark hair. Nobody had noticed them yet, so that was a good sign, but it was hard not to notice the curious eyes that glanced their way every now and then. “We’ll make it up to the cast in a few days with another dinner. It’ll be my treat.” But perhaps the guilt wasn’t needed. South Africa was their new home for the next four months, so there would be plenty of other moments where they could all sit down to eat. “On another note, I hate hospitals. Not too many great memories in them.” And she was sure the same could be said for Dylan. 

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fear ( of the unknown ). | kaya & dylan

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fckdylobrien:

“Don’t be sorry at all. You didn’t ruin anything. I’d rather be sure Cayden is healthy and happy instead anyway.” Even if they had gone to dinner, Dylan knew the two of them would be nervous wrecks, constantly thinking about the health of their son instead of enjoying a carefree night with their friends. Although, Dylan also knew that he would have to come clean about being Cayden’s father much sooner than expected. Because the cast was bound to ask questions as to why they both were skipping out on dinner for the same reason. It didn’t exactly bother him, since he had planned to break the news soon anyway, but not in this context.

Dylan nodded his head as he climbed into the passenger seat of the car and waited for Kaya to pull out of the hotel parking lot. “I’m just glad he’s sleeping and not suffering right now at least,” the man said as he glanced back at his son fast asleep in the car seat. The worst moment as a parent was watching your child suffer and having no clue as to help make it better. He only hoped the doctors in the emergency room would be able to do something for his fever and have the little boy feeling good and new by the time they were leaving the hospital. “Well my day was pretty chill until now. I spent some time down at the hotel pool and sleeping until getting ready for dinner because of the time change. But now I’m just worried about our little guy. How about you though? I hope you haven’t caught the bug from him since you’ve been with him all day.”

Well, that was always good to know. While Kaya had no troubles putting their son first, she just didn’t want to ruin the entire trip by having to constantly step back. Although, she liked to think that the cast understood her ( their ) situation. “You spent time at the pool? Color me jealous.” But she had months and months to take advantage of the pool, so the jealousy wasn’t too harsh. “I’ve been okay, though. I mean, I think I caught whatever bug he has due to the small fact that I can’t hold anything down, but I’m sure it’ll pass in a few days.” Thinking about it, Kaya felt a bit bad that Dylan was now breathing the same air as them and risking catching whatever it was going around. Perhaps sneaking off to the hospital on her own would have been a better idea. 

Pulling up to the hospital a few long moments later, Kaya found a parking spot close to the side doors and got out. Grabbing her bags and their son, she began to head inside with Dylan. “I’m a little nervous.” She admitted, glancing around. She didn’t really want anyone to take their photo, but more than that, she was worried about being judged for something that she couldn’t help. “Here. Take him and I’ll go get him registered.” 

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fear ( of the unknown ). | kaya & dylan

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fckdylobrien:

Dylan found himself in South Africa once again to film the last installment of the Maze Runner series. It was great finally being reunited with the cast, just like he and Kaya had been talking about for the past few months now. But there was something weighing in on Dylan’s mind–Cayden was sick and Dylan couldn’t stop worrying about when his son would finally get better. He tried not to worry too much, since all kids got sick sooner or later and he knew he would feel better eventually. Dylan was in his hotel room, getting dressed for a night out of dinner with the cast to kick off filming once again. He had just gotten out of the shower and was throwing on a white button up dress shirt when he heard a knock at his hotel room door.

He had figured it was Kaya, possibly coming over to hang out for a little while before heading out to dinner. As soon as he opened the door, he knew something was wrong. Kaya seemed to be worked up as Cayden was heavily breathing in her arms. Dylan’s heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest, his instincts kicking in and telling him that this was now the time for him to worry about his son.  He nodded his head, rushing back into his hotel room to throw on a t-shirt and jeans instead. “Are you kidding? I’m definitely coming with you. I want to be there to find out what’s wrong with him and what we can do to help.” Dylan wasn’t the type of father to leave his son high and dry when he needed him the most. Even though Cayden was only an infant and had no idea what was going on, the thought of the little boy suffering was too much for Dylan to handle. He needed to find out a way to help him and if taking him to the hospital was the way to do it, that’s what they would do. “I’ll text the guys and let them know that we can’t make it tonight,” he said as he pulled out his phone to send out a quick text to a few of them. “It’ll be okay, buddy. We’re going to get you help so you can feel better.” Dylan kept his voice calm as he leaned in and placed a kiss on his son’s head. “Where is the nearest hospital?” he asked as he rushed down the hallway of the hotel, making their way towards the lobby.

Kaya had to admit that she wasn’t feeling the greatest either, but she had been able to keep her own symptoms under control for the time being. Plus, her breathing was fine, so it didn’t send up any red flags. “Sorry about ruining the dinner plans the cast had.” She sighed, hoping the others would understand. Being one half of the only set of parents there, Kaya knew that her time with the cast outside of work would be limited; she just hadn’t expected the distance to kick in so damn soon. Oh well. 

“It’s about ten minutes away.” Kaya informed Dylan as they walked to her car, the brunette taking a quick moment to strap Cayden into the car before waiting for Dylan to get inside. Once they were all buckled, she was off, the radio playing low in the background. “I think he caught the bug that’s going around.” She mumbled, fingers tapping against the steering wheel as she stopped at a red light. It was hardly a surprise that the little dude had fallen ill as it was flu and cold season. It also probably didn’t help that he was doing so much travelling with his parents. “Fingers crossed it’s nothing serious.” Kaya sighed, foot returning to the gas as the light went green. “Anyways, for the sake of small talk, how was your day?” 

[merrittrps]

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stepame11:

I’m so glad to have the day off tomorrow to get some rest. Filming and taking care of a three year old is exhausting. Tomorrow we head to New York for the Weekend. Single dad life never stops.

Are you heading to New York for work, or for a simple vacation with your little one? Either way, make sure you check out their toy shops while there! Your three year old will love ‘em.

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sshylands:

My mother has gone off the deep end. Since telling her Dominic proposed, do you know how many bridal magazines have show up to the house? Fifteen. FIFTEEN. I didn’t even know she knew so many damn bridal magazines. Oh, and there was one extra one slipped into the pile, hiding amongst all the pretty colors. A parenting magazine. Do you think she’s trying to hint to anything?

One, congrats on the engagement! That’s so exciting! Two, are you gonna confront her about it? I think her reaction will be hilarious. 

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immypoots:

Well I’ve finally made the move from London. I’ve got to say, it’s completely different living here than just filming. For one, where’s the jaffa cakes? America is definitely missing a trick there. People here are super friendly too. My neighbours have already spoken to me. In England, we nod at each other for years before we have a proper conversation. Anyway, hello. I’m Imogen for those who don’t know. Let me teach you a thing or two about the English way. Pessimism. 

Story of my life. I made the move a month ago and I’m still trying to figure out where the hell the jaffa cakes are. Although, I’m pretty sure that there’s certain stores dedicated to Brit food and snacks, so you should check one of those out. 

[wyattcahill]

Jeremy Irvine & Kaya Scodelario

@stfuscods

[fckdylobrien]

@stfuscods

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@fckdylobrien

[tinseltown-rp]

Send me “✌️“ and I will make a moodboard about our celebs relationship.

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fear ( of the unknown ). | kaya & dylan

South Africa was beautiful. Between the gorgeous beaches and the many abandoned buildings that created a haunting atmosphere, Kaya never wanted to leave. Although, there was one very important thing that had her wanting to pack her bags and head back home --- Cayden was sick. It was, of course, his first time being sick, which had sent Kaya into something of a panic. It seemed like the little baby was uncomfortable no matter what she did. So, once they landed in their new temporary home and Cayden got sicker, Kaya found herself packing his diaper bag to take Cayden to the local hospital. She didn’t care if Wes and the others got annoyed with her for skipping out on their little dinner get together; they could wait. Then, once Cayden’s bag was packed and he was strapped into his car seat, Kaya grabbed her purse and made her way to Dylan’s hotel room.

The one giant con about none of their co-stars knowing Cayden’s true parentage was the fact that Kaya couldn’t just talk to Dylan in the open about their son. Not that she minded sneaking around, but still. Knocking ( okay, banging ) on the door, Kaya stepped back, sigh of relief escaping her lips once Dylan opened the door. “I’m taking Cayden to the hospital. He’s not getting better and I think I need a professional to look at him.” She explained in one breath, blue eyes moving towards the baby that was currently ( thankfully ) sleeping, his breathing heavy. “You don’t have to come, but I’m just letting you know.” 

@fckdylobrien

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scodelario: sick baby = all nighter. 😅

[poisonnightmares]

[minddpalaces]

“Uh, love, no one’s ever gonna hurt you, love I’m gonna give you all of my life Nobody matters like you” She tells him “Your life ain’t gon’ be nothing like my life You’re gonna grow and have a good life I’m gonna do what I’ve got to do”