Deer

I cannot describe me. That requires knowing who I am.

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Before crossfit.

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I fucking hate me. More than anything. I do not know why i do the shit that i do

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Haven't posted something like this in a while. Thighsssss

[symphonyofawesomeness]

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Saving for later

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My post about january adventures totally failed to upload and i didnt even know. I will upload that later! I need a laptop!

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Took a leap, and wore this out in public yesterday (cold as f😘k). Totally out of my comfort zone. Dead set thought people were talking about me, but I didn't care! I felt sexy! (Potato photo)

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I am looking forward to a new year. I discovered a lot about myself in 2015. I would love to learn more. Here are my goals for the over all year: 》be consistent - from eating healthy to hobbies 》start my portfolio - whether it be for makeup or modeling, hell maybe sculpting or tee shirts 》save $5000 》believe in myself - I can accomplish my goals 》have at least one adventure a month and have record of it - life is fun, and I should live it If I can accomplish just one of these goals this year, it will be a great year.

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Today is my 21st birthday. I tend to become rather depresses and anxious this time of year. I always wonder if I did enough or if i failed. Failure is determinded by me. I am looking at myself and think "man, I really slacked at points this year." And it is true. I know I am not at my goal.But I am also not giving up. So yeah, I messed up a lot over the years. But changes definitely happened. I am not as sad today about my weight. I am holding my head up. I have accomplished things, not just physically. Here is to another birthday

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The end of the year is coming and I know ive slacked. But i know I accomplished important things. Im still going to try my hardest weightloss wise. Slow progress is still progress

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There has been a lot on my mind that I cannot articulate. I am trying to eat right and exercise. When I get overwhelmed I tend to over eat. I am trying to get that under control and move past. It seems I fall back into this habit every so often, but it takes longer each time to circle 'round.

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So I am at my job and my anxiety is kickin in lol My life story man..

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My brain is super drained today. I am enrolling in my licensing course tonight, I start a brand new job Monday. I need to get my costume ready for Halloween. Make a budget. And try to workout in the mist of all this. 

I am not doing too bad, but tonight I am definitely not working out because of my lack of sleep, and almost passing out feelings. But my food was pretty on point today!

I am trying to be more active on here, I feel like it will help me stay focused and also give me something to do when I have nothing to do x)

I am also still searching for a hobby, but recently took up special effects makeup /makeup in general and that makes me feel okay. I try to push myself to do it at least every other day, because I do like it I am just not always motivated. 

Anyways, that is a snip of my life for now. Not very well organized thought or well written. 

opps.. 

[quadnation-deactivated20160803]

You approached it like it was heavy, so it was

Ed Coan ‘Words to Lift By’ (via

quadnation

)

This has changed the way I lift

(via taygetsswole)

I can apply this to my whole life

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Measurements

So that I know where I am body wise, without stepping on the scale I decided to take measurements. 

I think this is also a good way for me to set goals in a healthy way. I plan to take measurements every three months. 

My last known weight was 270 pounds. 

Here are my measurements taken today 10/24/15:

Neck: 16.5 Inches

Upper Arm: 16 Inches

Chest: 48.5 Inches

Waist: 44.6 Inches

Hips: 56 Inches

Thighs: 32 Inches

Calves:19 Inches

Center Belly: 55.7 Inches

Center Booty: 54 Inches

I’d love to lose at least an inch a month in some areas(Like Arms and belly), and gain in others (Like booty and boobs)

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I need a huge redo!

I am starting from scratch yet again! Seriously, I am getting so tired of this. I need to be more dedicated to this blog and this lifestyle change. I skipped workouts and eating right again, for the past two weeks (it seems).

I am switching jobs yet again, and I refuse to do so again anytime soon! 

I am in the process of printing out a calendar that will keep me on track because I will have to mark it showing if I ate right and exercised that day, and If I do so for a week straight I will reward myself with ten dollars to go into a savings for a new wardrobe! Even if I do not get everyday straight in a week, I will give myself a dollar for the days that I do. This will be more nutrition based being that I will not work out everyday. 

Eat healthy everyday (healthy as in not mostly candy/ processed foods), and workout at least four times a week (at least thirty minutes)

I will not make it through this months goals, but that is okay! I will achieve this goal, I will never give up. 

I have not been focused on my personal healthy like I should be.

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So I have been doing good with my workouts. I really would like to concentrate on getting my food intake right. I need healthier intake and more veggies. My goals for the rest of the month is to have at least 50% veggies with every meal. I have a lot of carbs since we do not really eat meat. So definitely going to work on that.

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Sometimes I still wish I could be someone's "most prettiest person" theyve ever/thusfar seen. Or at least be that someone for myself