“Well, (name), I made it, despite your directions.”
“I hope you’re prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.”
“Oh ye Gods! My roast is ruined!”
“But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?”
“Hahaha, delightfully devilish, (name).”
“I was just, uh, stretching my calves on the windowsill.”
“Isometric exercise. Care to join me?”
“Why is there smoke coming out of your oven?”
“I hope you’re ready for mouthwatering hamburgers.”
“I thought we were having steamed clams.”
“No, I said steamed hams. That’s what I call hamburgers.”
“It’s a regional dialect.”
“Oh no, not in Utica, it’s an Albany expression.”
“You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at (restaurant).”
“And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they’re obviously grilled?”
“You know, one thing I should- uh, excuse me for one second.”
“That was wonderful. Good time was had by all. I’m pooped.”
“Good lord, what is happening in there?”
“Aurora borealis? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?”
“(Name), the house is on fire!”
“Well, (name), you are an odd fellow, but I must say, you steam a good ham.”