Just Humans Being Human

This blog is dedicated to little excerpts I write about normal human things from the point of view of aliens. Please feel free to tell me about something you'd like to see written about or just a message in general!

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Hi everyone, I’m sorry this is not an excerpt but I wanted to post a little life update so you all know that I have not abandoned this blog (despite not posting in ages). My mental health has been in a pretty bad place and with the stress of covid (I live in America so it has been and still is very scary), trying to graduate, and a lot of major life changes I have had no motivation or inspiration to do much of anything let alone write. I’ve started getting help for my mental health and adjusting to all of the changes and I have definitely been improving but I still have a ways to go. I’d like to get back into writing soon since it is something that I really enjoy doing, but I’m not sure exactly when that will be. I mostly just wanted to hop on here and let you all know that I see every single like, reblog, tag, comment, and follow and they all make me immensely happy. I’d like to thank you all for your kind words and I hope to be back to posting soon. 

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I have been severely lacking in motivation lately so I decided to change things up a bit. I am by no means an artist and my handwriting is a wreck but I had a lot of fun making this so I hope you all enjoy it at least a little bit! 

The text reads: “Humans can be convinced that just about anything is true with little to no effort. There are entire communities committed to the investigation of theories that are based solely on blurry photos and personal anecdotes. Despite a lack of concrete evidence supporting the existence of things such as the illuminati or supernatural beings known as cryptids, there are many humans who will go to extreme lengths to conjure up some sort of proof to show that these things are real. Perhaps this is why humans are so well renowned as liars and creatures of deceit; they have spent so much time lying to each other, that it is has become like a second nature to them.”

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I’ve been practicing art a lot lately and decided I would redraw this! I still have a long way to go but I’m happy with the improvements I’ve made so far.

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This excerpt was requested by @cyberstrikebeast. I hope you like it!

Today we will be starting a new segment called “what’s up with that weird Earth thing?”. While humans are endlessly strange, they are not the only fascinating creatures occupying their planet. So, this excerpt will be shedding some light on a new earth being. The subject of this segment is a creature that is commonly found in the waters of earth and is commonly referred to as a crab.

A crab is an animal that ranges massively in size and color. Some species are microscopic, while others span up to 12 feet in length; that’s more than double the size of the average human adult. Since crabs can differ wildly in appearance, there are a few things that you should keep in mind when trying to identify one. Crabs are encased in a hard, often spiny exoskeleton that both protects them from predators and helps them to hunt their prey. They have six limbs protruding from a central rounded body. Two of these limbs end in large powerful claws. Although, one must be careful when trying to identify a crab based on limbs alone as it is not uncommon for a crab to be missing one or more legs. Crabs will sometimes lose a leg in combat, or occasionally they will self-amputate a limb that has become damaged in one way or another so that a new leg can grow in its place. You know a creature is from earth when it casually rips off its own limbs due to an injury so that it can magically produce a brand new one. Crabs, like many of the creatures living deep within earth’s oceans, can have a terrifying appearance. This, of course, does not deter humans from actively hunting them down. Rather than leaving the aquatic eldritch horrors to their own devices as a normal, sane being would, humans decide to risk their lives to catch them. This way they can cook them, crack open their shells to extract the meat, and charge outrageous prices for other humans to consume these sea bugs because why wouldn’t humans look at something like a crab and immediately decide to eat it.

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There are few things more difficult than raising a human child. They are highly impressionable so it is important to teach them the difference between right and wrong as early as possible. Of course, nothing with humans is ever simple so it makes sense that figuring out how to keep the attention of a child long enough to teach them important life lessons would be a complex endeavor. How do they do it then? Well, one way humans have been observed to teach their children is by taking whatever lesson they want to teach and inserting it into a fanciful story called a “fairy tale”. Fairy tales are a great way for humans to not only hold the attention of a child, but also make the information within the story memorable. Modern fairy tales almost always follow the same format: they start with “once upon a time” and end with everyone living “happily ever after”. It makes sense that these stories would be simple and happy considering they are being told to young children, but they were not always like this. We have stumbled upon early versions of these fairy tales and found that they are truly horrifying. These stories were filled with violence meant to instill fear in children to prevent them from acting out. Thankfully, most humans do not use fear mongering to keep their young ones in line, but to think that this was their first instinct is concerning to say the least.

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Every one has thought about going into the past to fix a mistake or save a loved one, but humans are the only ones to go so in-depth about the inner workings of time travel. I would love to see that, or something like the multiverse theory: "Humans believed they were not alone before they made contact, they still do, but now it is for that witch is beyond our universe"

Humans like to pursue knowledge of things beyond their own existence. They are constantly searching for what else is out there not only within their tiny little universe, but for what exists outside of it as well. Many humans will dream that there exists a utopia that is identical to their own world except all major problems were nonexistent (so technically not at all identical but who am I to judge the hopes of a human). In this world no human would go hungry, nature would flourish, and all humans would live in peace. So, from this desire to find the perfect world, something that they like to call the “multiverse theory” was born. This theory implies that there are an infinite number of possibilities for an infinite number of situations in infinite different timelines. They are really making sure to cover all of their bases with this one. I will be the first to admit that this is not the strongest of theories that humans have ever come up with, but it is fascinating nonetheless. Not only is this theory extremely difficult to find concrete, tangible supporting evidence for with the humans’ current technological advancements, but it is also wildly paradoxical. If it is indeed true that there are infinitely many universes, then that would mean that there exists a universe in which this is not true–a universe that is completely isolated and not part of the multiverse at all. For all the humans know that is the universe that they currently reside in and this multiverse theory is no more than one of their fun little “fairy tales”. That would be quite sad, don’t you think? To be a species so desperate to not be alone only to be stuck in the singular timeline that is truly disconnected from all others. For the sake of their fragile sanity I hope that this is not true.

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A human's perception of reality is shaped so easily by their belief systems that just about anything can be an arguably true fact in their world. Even something that they may consider to be irrefutably true can crumble into nothing but falsehoods with a well worded argument. The human brain, being the powerful and strange thing that it is, can warp one’s perception of reality so drastically that anything about the world or about a humans themselves can be believable. For example, there have been a large number of cases of humans being so convinced that they are pregnant that they begin to show the physical symptoms which often accompany bearing a child, despite not actually being pregnant. The reverse of this is also something that can be observed. There are some humans who severely downplay the typical symptoms of pregnancy, so much so that they do not realize that they have been growing an entire child inside their own bodies for months until they finally go into labor. Obviously this phenomena is not only linked to pregnancies (or a lack thereof). Conspiracy theories, which we have touched on briefly before, also play a role in a human’s constant questioning of their state of being and the environment around them. It is difficult to ascertain whether the humans are serious about these or if it is just some elaborate joke due to the depth of detail some of these theories go into, but it does appear to be a healthy mix of both. Some humans are genuinely convinced that at one point in their history, a body of their government killed all the birds on earth and replaced them with robot spies in the name of capitalism. Others understand the true absurdity and madness that this conspiracy implies, but play along just for the fun of it. This seems to only further convince the true believers of the validity of these theories. The important thing to take away from all of this is that reality, to humans, is a finicky thing. So, be cautious that you do not shape it unfavorably.

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I saw this video on BuzzFeed called “your body on no sleep” or something like that and my first thought was like imagine if an alien species that don’t sleep, and don’t see the point of why humans bother sleeping, saw the video and literally were so scared at what happens to humans when we don’t sleep, they’d be S H O O K

I actually wrote an excerpt on sleep deprivation a while back that you can find here! I definitely think that when compared to a species that doesn’t sleep, it would be pretty terrifying to witness sleep deprivation first hand.

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I absolutely adore your writing and this blog! Was just curious as to what your thoughts are about any aliens courting humans? Since humans are considered such strong, adaptable creatures, do you think some alien species might consider humans to be the “perfect mate”?

Thank you I’m so glad you enjoy this blog! I hope you don’t mind if I just answer your questions rather than write in more of my usual excerpt style. If you do want an excerpt about it feel free to let me know! I think that there would definitely be aliens who would consider humans to be the “perfect mate” not only because of our strength and adaptability, but also because we are highly dependent and sociable creatures which makes many of us excellent caregivers. We love to go out of our way to do random mundane things just because we know our family members, friends, significant others, etc. will be happy that we did. Humans can and will do anything to ensure that the physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing of those they love remains intact and I think that is something that would be highly valued anywhere. There would definitely be a number of obstacles that would come into play with these relationships as well. It would be unlikely that earth would be sustainable for species that are not used to our atmosphere and/or the various dangers that come with living on earth such as dealing with severe weather and our deadly plants and animals. So, many relationships would likely be contingent on relocating to somewhere more favorable or would end up being extremely long distance which doesn’t seem very nice. There would also be the issue of prejudice against relationships between aliens and humans which I had talked about in an earlier ask you can read here if you’re interested. All in all, I don’t believe that any of the issues faced in these relationships would necessarily be new, they would just be different from what we are used to. Humans love a good challenge so, in the end, it would probably work out well. 

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Hey! I was just listening to Billie Eilish’s song “bury a friend” and was wondering how aliens might react to these songs that talk about murder and gore in a creepy way, yet they’re composed by artists that are actually really nice IRL? What are your thoughts about that? Love your blog btw❣️

Since Billie just dropped her new album, I thought now would be a great time to answer this prompt! I don’t know if I really answered your prompt how you were anticipating, but I hope you enjoy it regardless! (On an unrelated note, I listen to music like Billie Eilish’s 24/7 so if anyone would like to recommend songs to me or get a recommendation from me I would not be mad about it.)

Humans find beauty in the most unexpected places. They compose wonderful music structured with the nicest harmonies and complex instrumental combinations. But, woven within these gorgeous sounds are stories of death, destruction, sadness, anger, and on occasion, endless negativity. Songs depicting various self-destructive tendencies, the loss of loved ones, fears of the unknown, leaving good friends behind, feelings of isolation, and so much more are belted out by humans all over earth. Many humans listen to music with sad lyrics when they themselves are upset which seems odd as one would expect this to simply compound their sadness. But, it seems to actually have a sort of cathartic effect on humans which helps them to feel better about their own situations. Like the popular saying goes, “misery loves company”, and some of these songs are absolutely bleeding misery. Human music is almost magical in this way. Sometimes you do not even need to be able to understand what the artist is saying to be able to feel the pure, unfiltered emotion emanating from their composition. It is as if their very souls are sewn into each note. Their songs are not universal in the sense that everyone knows what the artists are saying, rather they are universal because everyone can feel what they were feeling and that is truly powerful.

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Just found this blog and I am so glad I did, your writing is fantastic! How might aliens react to human sense of Proprioception; that is sense of position in relation to surroundings and self? What if they meet a “twitchy” human, who is simply hypersensitive in this respect?

Thank you, I’m glad you like my writing! I’m so sorry for the extremely late reply. Time has not been my friend as of late. I hope you enjoy this little excerpt!

It is incredible how much human functioning is dependent on something as simple as an awareness of their bodies in relation to their surroundings. Humans have this sense that they refer to as “proprioception”. This is a sense that is typically unconscious, depends on a human’s muscles, joints, tendons, and balance of the inner ear, and allows them to have normally functioning mechanical control over their bodies. It is unexpected that such an overly complicated and fragile system would control something as important as normal motor functioning. A severe inner ear infection would be enough to completely disrupt this system and cause a human to be unable to do things such as keeping balance while walking without watching their feet or having any perception as to how close or far away their limbs are to their own bodies at any point in time. That is quite a terrifying prospect, to not be able to recognize the position of appendages literally attached to your own being without staring directly at them. These humans, of course being the persistent little things that they are, are able to adapt fairly well to a loss of or damaged proprioception. Temporary loss of this sense is actually fairly common, especially in adolescent humans who are currently in a period of rapid growth. So, learned adaptation to an absent proprioception is practically child’s play for humans. They even have proprioception training which involves a variety of exercises that help to reform or strengthen this sense. Some humans have what is known as proprioceptive hypersensitivity in which this sense is overactive. There is not much information about this particular condition, but it comes with both pros and cons. These humans have remarkable balance and coordination, but can also become fatigued easily or even develop a fatigue syndrome from constant overstimulation of their senses. All in all, just make sure to pay attention to your humans. If they appear to be exhibiting strange behaviors out of the blue, do not just assume that it is due to some weird human ritual. Talk to them about it and help them out where you can.

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Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I really like your writing style! Your posts are always bite-sized without coming across as rushed. You also don't try to incorporate any distracting world-building into your posts, which I often see on other blogs (I mean, the ideas are usually good, they just often end up incorporating them somewhat clumsily and it messes with the story's "flow" so to speak). I hope you have a nice day!

Thank you so much! Messages like these always make me so happy, it’s so nice to know that people enjoy these excerpts. I actually spend a pretty decent chunk of time (when I can at least) writing for this blog so I’m glad that it shows! Thanks again and I hope you have a nice day as well!

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okay, but imagine how funny it would be for aliens encountering humans whose limbs have "fallen asleep;" they walk into a room to find a normally sensible human hopping around on one foot and wiggling the other while making strange squawking noises as if they're injured

I actually wrote one about limbs falling asleep similar to this way back at the beginning of my blog! I’ll put a link to it here.

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Humans have this interesting saying: “The eyes are the windows to the soul”. But, when you look into the eyes of a human all you see is an infinite void that endlessly collapses into itself. So what does this say about the human soul? Well, if you believe the theory that humans are sculpted from erupted stardust then this makes perfect sense. When one is comprised of galactic debris, it is only logical to conclude that the very essence of their being will be a reflection of their original composition. Much like a nebula, the human eye is a combination of inky blackness bordered by a complex, unique array of colors. It is truly incredible just how deeply the beauty of humans runs. Even down to their most minute details, humans never cease to be absolutely stunning.

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An excerpt for @pikethehedgehog I hope you enjoy it!

It is well-documented that humans have the ability to be very coordinated creatures. This can be seen in both a physical sense, where they are able to control their bodies in ways that allow them to be both beautiful and frightening, and in a mental sense where they can band together in large, well-organized groups that can move with ease towards a common goal. That being said, humans are not at all one-dimensional and can be just as clumsy as they can be graceful. Some humans are aware of their surroundings at all times and are careful to not disturb parts of their environment that should be left to their own devices. These are not the humans you need to be worried about. It is the humans that for one reason or another are less aware of their surroundings as they should be and as a result are particularly accident prone. Be it that they are physically unable to have this awareness or simply cannot be bothered to pay attention to the world around them, these humans can cause a number of disruptions to those nearby. Most of the time they are relatively harmless; they will trip and fall, bump into pieces of furniture, run into others, knock things over accidentally, etc. Usually this sort of thing is not a problem, the human will just apologize and everyone can move on with their lives. But, sometimes this behavior can be quite hazardous. For example, some humans can grow to be quite large. This poses quite an issue when in conjunction with a lack of awareness to their surroundings and creatures that are substantially smaller than them. A small bump from these humans could potentially be enough to send something or someone much smaller flying across the room and I am sure you can imagine the many ways in which this could be dangerous. A human with a lack of spatial awareness also causes issues when they cross paths with someone who has their arms full. Disaster often ensues in this situation and especially so if the items being carried happen to be fragile. So, when crossing paths with a human, it is a good idea to simply assume that they are not as aware of you as you are of them and either wait for them to pass you first, or make some sort of noise to announce your presence. Accidents cannot always be avoided, but it does not hurt to take measures to prevent them.

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Could you imagine if an alien spoke to a child for clarification on things? Imagine their wonky answers about reproduction, the digestive system or other things. I think it would be both cute, confusing, and horrifying at once.

When conversing with human children, it is important to remember that they do not yet possess the abstract reasoning and complex thought processes that their older counterparts do. So, what they find to be logical is a bit odd to say the least. For example, if you were to ask a human child about how reproduction works, you will get a wide variety of very strange and wildly inaccurate accounts as to how babies are born. Some children will give you a whimsical explanation about how a baby begins growing in their mother’s stomach by magic and is then removed from her stomach once it is done growing again through some sort of magical process that just poofs the baby out into the world (babies do not, in fact, grow in the human stomach but this is a common assumption made by children as their mother’s abdomens swell substantially during pregnancy giving the impression of the baby being there). Others may relay to you the story their parents fed to them about how the baby was delivered to their parent’s doorstep by a large aquatic bird. To anyone who is not a child, this raises more questions than it gives answers. Why are birds carrying around human babies? Where did they get the babies from? Is there some sort of baby delivery system or is it just random selection? There are too many holes in this story. This is a good example of one of the dangerous parts of talking to a human child. They are highly impressionable and will take just about anything you tell them at face value and believe it to be a hard truth. On one hand, this is great because it means that children are easy to teach as long as you are able to explain concepts to them in simple enough terms for them to grasp. But, it also means that children are easily manipulated and can be tricked into believing things that are not actually true. Overall, when trying to better understand the reasoning behind a human tradition or behavior, children may not be the most reliable resource to get information from. But, this should not stop you from asking them anyways as you will likely be very entertained by their answers.

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what do aliens think about depression?

Mental illnesses are very complex conditions that many humans suffer from. They are not like a physical illness where a human could just take some medication and then they would completely go away, they are something that humans have to cope with every day and learn how to handle them so they do not begin hindering their everyday lives. One particular illness that is particularly common among humans is depression. This is a condition that can be brought on through genetics, environmental triggers, or a combination of the two. Depression is not something that can be seen, but if one knows what to look for, the symptoms can be recognized. Some of the more common symptoms are a perpetual sadness, loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyed, chronic tiredness, difficulty focusing, irritability, and a number of other behaviors. Depression can vary greatly depending on the human. Some have very mild cases that, while still require a lot of work to keep at a manageable level, do not necessarily infringe on their daily lives. Others have severe cases that can make doing things that others may find simple such as getting out of bed in the morning or keeping up with personal hygiene as exhausting as running a marathon. There are multiple ways that a human can cope with their depression and, again, this will vary from human to human. For some talk therapy is very helpful with their condition and they find that this is enough to make their illness manageable. Others use medication to help balance the release of chemicals in their brain and this diminishes their depression to a point that is easier to cope with. What is important to understand is that this is an illness that requires a lot of work, patience, and time. The best way that you can help your human in dealing with their depression is to be there for them when they need you to be and to listen to them. Unfortunately there is not much more that you can do for them other than giving them space when they need it and letting them know that you are there for support when they need it. It may not seem like much but a little can go a long way when someone is battling with a mental illness.

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How would aliens feel about modern internet humor? Such as things like memes and vines? Especially the weirder stuff like dank memes and edits.

Humor is a very important part of human cultures. Humans love to make each other happy and one of the best ways to do this is by telling them something funny to make them laugh. As technology continues to advance on earth, one of the more common ways for humans to communicate is through the internet on social media. This has created an entirely new category of humor that is incomprehensible to those who are not avid users of social media. Jokes on the internet are typically expressed in what is known as a “meme” or an image, video, or piece of text that has been copied and spread rapidly across the internet. It is like having an inside joke with millions of other humans. Sometimes if a meme has been circulated enough, one only needs to post portions or loose variations of it in order to get the reference across. This makes it very confusing for those who missed the joke when it was first being spread around. These memes can even go so far as to becoming ingrained in a human’s speech pattern. The most well-known speech pattern that has been adopted from the internet is to replace every “L” and “R” in a word with a “W” and then throw in a “W” to other words randomly as well. It is a very strange thing to do and appears to cause humans to feel irritation and exasperation when they hear or read it, so it is not entirely certain why they continue to use these patterns. Do these internet jokes and cultures make any sense at all? No. Do the humans find them to be funny and make them happy? Yes, and in the end that matters more than their thought processes having any semblance of logic at all.