reblogs are pretty rare here and tagged with #strelkin's reblogs. my art is #my art, my thoughts, commentary, and just yapping is #not art
my works usually have a tragic and depressive vibe and sometimes feature blood. i try my best to put cw's wherever possible, but if i missed something and it made you uncomfortable, please let me know
edited: thanks for anyone tagging tw's and cw's, i steal them, so that they come up in all reblogs (is that how it works??) and learn new things to tag in the future
do not use my art commercially/for profit! (but you may print your fav piece and stick it to a wall or something. it's fine and i probably wont know anyway). non-commercial stuff like pfps, as well as creative things like edits, are also fine. if in doubt feel free to ask, and please leave credit <3
my favourite pieces :3
and finally a list of my fandoms & the things i enjoy (regardless if i do, will or won't have fanart for) under the cut:
✦ malevolent (podcast)
✦ clair obscur: expedition 33 (video game)
✦ the magnus archives / the magnus protocol (podcasts)
✦ cultist simulator / book of hours (video games)
✦ chants of sennaar (video game)
✦ sherlock holmes: chapter one (video game)
✦ the sinking city (video game)
✦ slay the princess (video game)
✦ disco elysium (video game)
✦ arkham horror (living card game)
✦ annihilation / the southern reach trilogy (novels by Jeff VanderMeer)
✦ the hunger games (novels by Suzanne Collins)
✦ searching for a world that doesn't exist (minecraft arg)
✦ anything the king in yellow
✦ cthulhu mythos and anything lovecraftian
Hello everyone and welcome to my Malevolent curse count where I answer the question you've all been asking: how many times does that goddamn british man drop the f-bomb? (Answer: so many)
Spoilers for Malevelont the podcast and lots and lots of cursing to follow.
I can't put pictures of everything here because of Tumblr image limits, so these are just some sneak peaks from the PowerPoint included below if you're interested. I've also attached the excel file I used to record the numbers and create the graphs as well as a pdf of the first sheet.
I made the PowerPoint for some friends so that's why there's a little breakdown of the podcast at the beginning.
did u ever post the image in ur profile picture? i can't seem to find it on ur blog.
nope, here it is! i forgor to post it
just for context, as a tma fan one day i thought "i should give john doe malevolent and therefore arthur lester a bunch of glowing yellow eyes, how cool would that be! surely a single pair of them isn't enough!"
aaand as i said and will many times, arthur in distress is one of my favourite things to draw
i don't really want to get into writing a whole long post rn so this is more of put-a-pin-in-the-thought but. thinking about how the part 59 "let me tell you what i think you so desperately need to hear" speech wasn't even the first time arthur has called kayne a child ("insignificant child playing games" in 27) but it is the first time arthur has fully verbalized why he comes across like that. because he operates largely on the principle of immediate or at least rapid gratification. he can't even limit himself, really. he needs what he wants and he needs it now, and if he doesn't get it he pitches a fit. the fact that said "fit" often involves targeted strikes intended to fuck up arthur's relationships in ways that demonstrate a fairly nuanced understanding of emotional reactions—doesn't make it any less fundamentally juvenile in its intentions.
...which, incidentally, is roughly the same reason he calls john the same thing, albeit much more kindly. because he's never had to deal with being inconvenienced or frustrated or slighted before without immediately taking it on the nearest convenient target. and he draws the comparison to lillith in 59, too (and i think before that? but i can't remember the exact conversation now so i might be wrong.)
and like. he is correct, you have to give him that. all of the gods are wildly immature, emotionally. and they're like that for a shared reason: nobody fucking raised them! they got crazy powers over reality and noooo guidance. and it's not just about, like, instruction, it's also about... kindness? having someone else to consider both their immediate emotional needs and their growth as a person. they prioritize the first one at all times because nobody is going to do it for them, and they've never learned any other way to be. because that's How It Is when you're older than the fucking planet and can break people mentally with a flick of your wrist. to draw a sort of clumsy comparison, that is the culture among outer gods.
...which is why i think it's apt that it's arthur specifically drawing these comparisons, and never anyone else. because he's the only one equipped to identify it. because, y'know, he is a parent. and more than that, even among the human parents of the story, i'd argue that he's the only one who actually frames the concept of having a child as a responsibility to a small vulnerable person.
like, uh. larson sees his children, especially addison, as extensions of himself and therefore resources to be used for his benefit. daniel envisions himself shaping bella into a Good Christian Girl, and in pursuit of that prescriptive vision drives her away. the butcher reenacts his abusive childhood onto his own child self because he can't even see past the warped trained-in emotion to recognize the harm of it. kayne sees lillith in turns as a rival, but also something that should be punished for the crime of defying him, because don't they know he is Superior. despite claiming to have a better relationship with his daughter, the manager still talks down to lillith in this universe, treats her as a peer who is Fucking Up The Group Project and not a version of his child whose father has brutally failed her. the creator of the literal universe is perpetually asleep at the wheel, a kind of terminal neglect that drives its child to acts of desperate madness.
what i mean to say is, opposite all of them, arthur's really the only one who doesn't treat parenthood as like, a default noun with no actions attached to it. even his grief is all tied up in his responsibility—not in the sense of "i am responsible for this tragedy in particular" but in the sense of "i owed her something that i failed to give." being faroe's father did not give him any rights to control her—it was an obligation, a promise he was making. to protect and care for and support, and never leave her alone again. and that shapes how he engages with people forever after. he can see why john and lillith and kayne are fundamentally just childish people at their core, because he has thought about that development from both angles, has tried to figure out how to do it better, how to raise someone in a way that did not fuck them up forever.
ok i lied at the beginning of this post i guess now i'm just going on and on anyway my ultimate point here is. when you look at it from that perspective, that arthur and faroe were breaking a cycle that literally everyone else perpetuated since the start of Existence Itself. and now faroe's spirit, or whatever you would call it, is apparently a factor in this whole plan having a chance at succeeding at all, and the world not ending. a plan that lorick says lillith had no real hope in when initially creating it. well that just feels apt, doesn't it. reality can continue to exist, because at one point a parent cared for their child. so there's a chance. so there's still some hope for it all.
my friend and i call them a rather lengthy jarthurkayne, and i think it's funny too because sticking kayne to already existing jarthur kinda makes him seem like a third wheel
