for a moment, he sees their mother in aaron — but that’s a thought cameron refuses to let live, grinding it to dust as his jaw clenches tightly together. hesitantly, he closes the distance between them and allows himself to touch his brother for the first time in months, fingers smoothing along scarred alabaster skin with a doctor’s finesse. well - trained eyes study the tracks, but he doesn’t find anything to dispute the claim, and that brings some sense of comfort to his troubled mind. cam’s expression contorts into something that borders on relief, and he exhales, feeling somehow LIGHTER.
he doesn’t care about the tracks, about the promises broken and the months without aaron — all that matters is that he’s here now, alive and relatively well, solid and real and normal.
digits slip down, curling around aaron’s, briefly squeezing. “ it’s okay, okay? ” cam presses forward, boosting himself onto the tips of his toes so that his lips can touch aaron’s. “ i believe you. and you’re gonna get better, y’know? you’ll go back to NA —- whenever you’re ready. but until then, i … i’ve got some stuff that’ll help with the withdrawal. how bad has that been? it’s been two weeks, so i guess you’re over the worst, but you must still have some pain. ”
aaron’s voice is softer than before, tone changing from borderline desperate to comfort the second fingers are tangled with his, the weight in his heart slowly lightening the second cam’s touching him ( he missed it. missed cam’s skin against his, missed his voice, missed him he doesn’t even remember why he didn’t come back sooner. maybe it was guilt; maybe it was because he didn’t think cam would want him anymore. ). the kiss is what makes his body feel less heavy, the way it almost feels normal silences the way the voice in the back of his head tells him to run, tells him to go get high & not deal with this, not deal with the way his whole body is fucking aching.
❛ ——- i’ll go back. i’ll do whatever you want. ❜ just don’t hate me. ❛ it’s not that bad, i went cold turkey & that . . . was agony but it’s okay now. manageable. i don’t wanna take anything. ❜
he doesn’t want to risk anything, he spent the last fortnight struggling to fucking breathe, in - between throwing up & days of never leaving the shitty mattress on a warehouse floor because he was shaking too much. lips curl up slightly at the corners, it’s the first time he’s done anything close to genuinely smiling in over two months, hand squeezing cam’s gently as he leans himself downward, another kiss shared ( this one a little bit longer than the last, like he’s trying to let himself REMEMBER the way cam’s lips feel against his, as if he’s forgotten. ).
❛ i missed you so much. ❜
words are nothing more than breathed out as he pulls back, eyes watering & whole body aching to collapse against cam, to hold him but he won’t push. he’ll take what he can get for now.
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