[𝝑𝑒] :: giving outlaw!toji a handkerchief as a lucky charm before he leaves for a heist :: tags. fluff, tiny bit of angst with comfort :: wc. 1.2k
the evening wind carries the scent of sagebrush and distant rain as you stand in your secret spot. the sun has already slipped behind the jagged hills. toji is leaving again. another dangerous job—a stagecoach run near the border that pays enough for him to disappear for months if things ever went south.
you hate these goodbyes. they always feel too final.
you clutch the small handkerchief in your hands, fingers tracing the delicate embroidery you’ve worked on for weeks in secret.
it's simple white linen, soft from washing, with tiny blue forget-me-nots stitched along the edge. in the bottom corner, hidden unless someone looks very closely, are your initials.
toji stands before you like a mountain. his dark duster coat brushes his calves and his stetson is pulled low. even in the fading light you can see the tension in his broad shoulders and the way his scarred lip is pressed into a thin line.
“here,” you mumble softly before stepping closer. you hold the handkerchief out to him, “i made this for you.”
he looks down at the small square of fabric in your palm, then back up at your face. one of his calloused hands take it carefully, as if afraid he might ruin it just by touching it.
“a handkerchief?” his voice is rough with amusement, but his sharp green eyes had softened slightly.
“it serves as a lucky charm,” you explain as your cheeks warm up. “my initials are stitched in the corner. so… a part of me goes with you. maybe it’ll keep you safe. y'know-bring you back to me.”
toji stared at the cloth for a long moment. then, without a word, he folds it neatly and tucks it into the inner pocket of his vest. right over his heart. he pulls you against his chest, one massive arm wrapping around your waist while his other hand cups the back of your head.
“y’re too good for a man like me,” he murmurs into your hair. he's quieter than usual, “but i’ll keep it close, yeah?”
he kisses you then—slow, deep nd full of everything he wouldn’t say out loud. he rests his forehead against yours when he finally pulls away.
“i’ll come back,” he promises, “i always do.”
then he's gone, disappearing into the darkening trees on his horse, leaving only the sound of hooves and the gust of wind behind.
. . .
three weeks have passed like molasses.
you went through the motions of daily life in your town, smiling politely at your father’s dinner guests, helping at the town library, pretending your heart wasn’t aching every single night. every time you heard horses on the main street, your stomach twisted with hope and fear. every time a new wanted poster went up, you forced yourself not to look too closely.
until the night he returned.
it's late, well past midnight, when you hear the familiar soft three-tap pattern against your bedroom window. you nearly trip over your nightgown rushing to open it.
toji is right there, though looking rougher than usual. his stetson is missing with his dark hair messy and damp with sweat. there’s a fresh cut along his jaw and dust caked on his clothes.
but he is alive.
you barely give him time to climb inside before you throw your arms around his neck. toji catches you easily, lifting you off the floor with one arm as he kicks the window shut behind him. his muscular body is solid and warm, but you can feel the exhaustion in the way he holds you.
“you’re back,” you whisper against his neck with tears stinging your eyes, “you’re really back.”
toji carries you to the edge of your bed and sat down, keeping you in his lap. his big hands rub slow circles on your back to ground you.
“told ya i would,” he scoffed, but there is a rare gentleness in his tone.
you pull back just enough to look at him properly. your fingers brush the cut on his jaw with concern in your eyes, “but.. you’re hurt.”
“just a graze. nothin’ serious,” toji catches your hand and presses a kiss to your palm. then, after a pause, he reaches into his vest pocket and pulls out the handkerchief.
your breath caught.
the once-pristine white linen is now stained with dried blood—a rusty brown smear across the entire center. but it’s still carefully folded, the edges intact, your hidden initials still untouched.
toji looks down at the cloth in his hand and his thumb brushes over the fabric almost reverently.
“got into a bad spot near the rio,” he mutters quietly, “hell of an ambush. three men. thought that was it f’me.”
his green eyes lift to meet yours, a ghost of a smirk tugging at the scarred corner of his lip, “had this pressed against the wound to stop the bleeding. i kept it right here the whole time i was ridin’ back.”
he taps the pocket over his heart.
“was gonna die out there,” toji continiues, voice dropping lower, “but every time things got bad, i remembered your face when you gave me this. remembered you sayin’ it’d bring me back.”
his smirk turns into a crooked, slight smile, “turns out my girl’s lucky charm works better than any six-shooter.”
your throat tightens with emotion. you take the blood-stained handkerchief from his hand and hold it gently to trace your own initials with a fingertip.
“i was so scared,” you admit with your voice trembling, “every day you were gone… i kept thinking—”
“shh shh, i know,” toji pulls you closer, tucking your head under his chin, “but i’m here now, yeah? because of you.”
for a long while, the two of you simply sit in the quiet of your room. his large hand strokes through your hair while you rest against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
the same heart that had carried your little token through blood and bullets just to return to you.
toji eventually tilts your chin up. his rough thumb brushes away a stray tear from your cheek.
“you keep givin’ me reasons to come back,” he murmured, jade eyes dark and intense, “and i’ll keep comin’ back. no matter what.”
your heart swells at those heartwarming words. you lean in and kiss him softly, pouring every ounce of relief and love into it. he responds slowly, almost carefully, his lips moving in sync with yours.
when you finally pull away, you press the handkerchief back into his hand.
“keep it,” you whisper with a determined nod, “i’ll make you a new one. a cleaner one.”
toji chuckles, the sound vibrating through his chest. he folds the bloodied cloth once more and tucks it back into his vest. right where it belonged.
“nah,” he says, “this one’s my favorite. got your luck ‘nd scent and all.”
toji lays back on your bed before pulling you down with him. his massive arms wrap around you protectively. your body fits perfectly against his larger frame, as always.
“stay with me tonight?” you ask softly. you put on your best puppy eyes for him, “pleaaase?”
toji snickers quietly before lightly tapping your ass;
“wouldn’t leave even if yer old man was standin’ right outside that door.”