Eels are hilarious. Did you know we only recently found where they spawned? For literally thousands of years we've wondered. Like, ancient greeks wondered about it. Also a bunch of eels we thought were diffent species are just the same eels at different life stages but they look and act very different, lol
Ffs I didnt even say. Ok, so they live waaaay longer than anyone expected and they noodle around the Mediterranean and around England and France at various times.
On top of this they don't have sexual organs. This is the one that really fucked everyone up. The ancient Greeks said mad shit, one old timey English(?) guy spent years dissecting thousands and thousands of eels and never found their sexual organs.
Anyway, what happens is, when they're done fucking around in europe they say "right. Time for fuck!" and then fuck off out into the ocean and spend months swimming across the god damn Atlantic to over near the Americas. Then their digestive systems fully dissolve and THEN they develop sexual organs.
Why? You ask? Why do these sentient noodles swim half way accross the god damn world to fuck? Well the answer is easy really.
Pangaea.
Yea. Turns out when they first started off, all the contenants were right beside each other so it wasn't that far a trip. Over millions of years as the contenants spread out they just kinda went 'wow, it feels like this trip gets a little bit longer every time'. They weren't wrong and they sure as shit didn't stop.
So, yea, turns out that not only are the slippy guys in the Themes the same as the slippy guys the Mediterranean, but they're also statistically older than you and at the end of their life they fuck off over the ocean for about 5000 miles so they can loose their guts to grow dicks and pussys.
Eels!!
OP, how could you leave this in the notes?
