One Nice Bug Per Day
will byers stan first human second
$LAYYYTER
Love Begins
ojovivo
Andulka
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PR's Tumblrdome
noise dept.
macklin celebrini has autism
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
YOU ARE THE REASON
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
Jules of Nature
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Three Goblin Art
DEAR READER
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@suddenlywally-blog
Ugh, that’s what I keep trying to tell you. I love that part of me. I feel smart and powerful. My plans go the way they should, I’m always two steps ahead. Until you showed up I was pretty much unstoppable.
So you’re just to leave?
Unstoppable except for all those other times that the Titans showed up, you mean?
Is that not what you want?
You’re putting words in my mouth. I was being sarcastic. You know full well I’m not assaulting old women or stealing pocket change. She is nice to everyone. I’m a villain, Wally. I’ve always been a villain. I didn’t stop liking you either. But I’m not willing to dislike myself just to be with you.
I don't really know what you're doing anymore and you don't seem to either. Maybe you are a villain but that's not your whole identity. I mean, it's just a part of you, isn't it? Nobody ever said you had to like that part of you. But whatever. I have some things I'd like to say to you, but you clearly don't want to hear it. You know where to find me if you ever do.
How was I supposed to? We went from being enemies to dating. Absolutely, not because the money is better or because villains actually treat me like a person. Or the fact that my power is bad luck! Nope, just to spite you.
And, what, dating was all on me because that's not a two person activity anymore? If you're actually robbing parking meters again, I feel the need to casually point out that the money can't possibly be that much better and you were just saying that Starfire was sweet to you and I was just saying that I did actually like you - I do actually like you, it's not even a past-tense thing yet. Your bad luck power wasn't a problem before and it wouldn't just suddenly start to be, so I can't think of a better reason. Not that I was ever any good at getting inside your head, but still.
You don’t understand what it was like. I was trying a completely different person. You were all I had, because everyone else didn’t trust me. To them I was just the purple skinned pink haired she-devil. I’m not stupid, I know what people said about me. Every time a pretty girl walked by it felt like you got farther away. And let’s not pretend like you would have stayed with me when i went back. I really cared about you, but you only liked the idea of me.
The only ideas I know anything about come from chemistry books, not my head. It's not like you trusted me back, considering the current situation. I mean, do you even really want to be a villain anymore or did you just go back to shoving old ladies and robbing parking meters to spite me?
Who cares? Obviously me. Excuse me for not believing you. You expected me to stop being a villain but you couldn’t even stop your eyes and probably everything else from wondering.
I liked you, okay? I liked your smile and your pink hair and your wit and that weird face you make when you're trying to put eyeliner on, not Starfire or fans or anybody else. I really liked you. Excuse me for not knowing how to deal with it in a way that doesn't somehow annoy you!
Good to know. Yeah, my friends and I are all named Ashley, but I’m obviously like the leader. Convenient, right?
It’s definitely a weird coincidence. Do you all look alike too, by any chance?
Oh please, I never accused you of sleeping with Raven or Bubblebee! Don’t you dare pretend like that bitch wasn’t giving you the fucking bedroom eyes! I swear to God Wally! Yeah, I’m crazy for getting paranoid when you’re flirting with every chick in the damn city. You’re such an asshole.
Sorry, my mistake. Guess the list wasn't exactly done. Who cares if she was?! Like I said, I never saw her again and or the millionth time, I didn't do anything with anybody else while we were together.
Fastest Boy Alive? You must have some impressive stamina then. I’m Ashley A, not to be confused with Ashley B, Ashley Q, or Ashley T.
So I've been told. Wait, there's more of you? As in, like, a League of Ashleys or something? That's a new one.
Me, jealous? Why the fuck would I be jealous?! Am I supposed to be fucking jealous, Wally? I mean…I don’t care. It’s whatever. I broke up with you remember.
Seriously? Do you really not remember accusing me of cheating on you with her? And Raven? And Bumblebee? And Kole and Argent and that girl who delivered a pizza to my house the one time and then I literally never saw her again because she was just delivering a pizza? Did I leave anybody out or is that list as done as we are?
Aww, she is always such the sweetheart. Though I’d still be pretty surprised to see her with anyone but Mockingbird. At least you’re surrounded by plenty of girls who aren’t as knowledgeable of your charms. So good luck with that.
Should I be bothered by your complete lack of jealousy in this situation? I mean, it's just weird, is all.
Perfect. I like you already. But tell me, how exactly do you plan on getting to my room and back in only ten seconds?
Oh, I’m sorry, did I not introduce myself? Allow me to fix that. I’m Wally, better known as the Fastest Boy Alive - all capitals.
You seem to be the only one fast enough. Well I can only imagine. Isn’t she still smitten with safe belt?
Always. And yeah, I guess she probably is, but her reasoning was all you. Said that she still liked you and thought'd it be "unkind behavior that is uncharacteristic of friendship" to go out with me since...yeah, so didn't work.
Thirty seconds, huh? I guess I’ll have to find someone else then, since I need them there in 15. Thanks anyway.
Please. I can be there and back in ten seconds flat. The extra twenty seconds was just so I could think of a few more ways to impress you, Gorgeous.
Well that’s because you only hear about me when I get caught. Same ole same ole. Getting back into my bad luck swing. What about you, Justice League?
And I'm the only one that ever seems to catch you, got it. Oh, you know, same old stuff for me, too. I tried to ask Starfire out but that didn't quite go as planned. Not the point, though.
Will someone be around to take these bags to my dorm? My other two suitcases of shoes just arrived and I don’t want to break a nail lugging them all the way to my room.
I can get 'em there in thirty seconds.
Yep, nothing makes a girl want to take her clothes more than you yelling about how charming you are.
Whatever. What have you been up to anyway? I haven’t heard of you stealing any priceless artifacts or terrorizing little children lately.
Well other than now? And well always…
WHAT'D YOU SAY?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF HOW STUNNINGLY CHARMING I AM!
