under the weather forever

shadows and smoke, give me a toke, and a handful of downers so that i can cope.

[suddensicklysubstance]

do they ever leave

the feelings I repeat

nothing else reprieves

the nightmares out of sleep

[suddensicklysubstance]

you are far too young to think

that the past is ever-present

there is ghost who failed to mention

that his presence

isn’t getting

you

to any other lesson

sitting on it,

keep forgetting,

that you’re even

still remembering.

[suddensicklysubstance]

was it ever lost in all your thoughts of permanence?

or has your body made you suffer

the consequence

[suddensicklysubstance]

I just

had the epiphany

that I can’t remember

anything

about you

because the mind

has deemed it

too

painful.

how blue.

[suddensicklysubstance]

I know I shouldn’t

keep close

it’s just the problem

letting go

what’s the point

in tying strings

you’re gonna snip?

scissors over your limbs

once again

clipping fate

before the end

who can pretend?

you’re playing god,

a delicate hymn,

defiled by

your own rhythm

[suddensicklysubstance]

a ghost,

a shell

hollow now,

where guts have spilt.

let me lay

in all my filth.

grace me

in this level

of

hell.

once compelled,

solemn spell,

send me lonely

to my hill

a ghost,

a shell,

hollow kill,

the guts have spilled.

[modernnorth]

[lostyournumber]

[overthink]

Steve Skafte

[overthink]

[requiem-on-water]

[suddensicklysubstance]

sometimes i leave my body

the wind becomes louder than my rain drops,

so it beats me,

carries me,

crashing down,

to the cold hard pavement.

from there I spill into the sewer drain and hope that by now, you’ve already forgotten my name.

or maybe you were the one who needed to be forgotten.

I don’t know anymore.

but what I do know is a car is rolling past me now,

it’s brakes don’t sound,

I’m under it all over the ground,

and it’s gonna bring something worse than a storm if I don’t get out now,

i don’t think i will though,

because I only like to watch,

I sit and stare in awe,

and wonder what it would have been like if the river caught my fall.

[suddensicklysubstance]

separations

the cold grey sky ominously opened itself to us,

without changing face,

I stared into the slit where the hollow part of myself seemed to fit,

a rather uneasy silence touched the air,

then your face,

then simply, my own,

and for a brief moment I was suspended in time.

as I fell from the clouds to be caught in a pocket of air,

to observe the serenity of the calm around,

it was in that great moment of perplexing peace, that I recognized the abyss separating you from

me.

[suddensicklysubstance]

i could kill the lights

and feed you all the silence

you wouldn’t know what to find in it,

quiet violence

[suddensicklysubstance]

only the start

it was warm and muggy when consciousness finally melted your dreamscape,

contrary to your internal operating system,

the world was quiet.

you slowly stood as reality fuddled your field of vision,

jumbling the whole until it rapidly gathered its bits altogether again,

changing the blackened void to a pasted pattern.

you see your bed,

touch it.

it’s soft under your hand, but not like before.

you turn, close your your eyes, and fall into it to let yourself create its mold,

letting it trace your curves to create its own,

images of all the nights you once slept, so sweetly, copy and paste themselves repeatedly on billboards all around the city in your brain,

but that’s all they are.

bill boards.

hard, cold, splintering, paint chipping billboards.

and that’s all your bed was now, too.

your eyes open to collect your consciousness again and form the assumptions of your surroundings,

as reality, once again, rings loud but distant in your mind.

he warned you it could go this far,

why must you always learn the hard way?

no bother, that couldn’t change it anyways.

you, under-impressed, walk to the front door leading on to the porch to meet the responsible one for your awakening.•—•

before you open the door, you kick a lighter with your footstep and stop the pick it up.

you pay it no mind and slide it into your pocket,

continuing your venture into the midsummer day with all expectations dismembered and buried under the floorboards of that house.

staring for a moment,

embracing the thick blanket of steam lacing your breathing flesh,

you make your way to the only chair left open of two,

closest to the edge,

it squeaks as you lightly seat your weight,

if it snapped, you would too.

an eerie presence fills the chair beside you,

but your thoughts are lost in space,

and your focus follows suit,

and eventually you reach a point of wonder when you’re baffled as to why we even do this,

play this game, hold these charades, pretend it all matters,

as you start to grind your teeth to the echo of your own voice asking why the fuck this even matters,

your gaze drops to the other empty seat,

and a lonely cigarette lay waiting.

you’re gonna need this,

the same voice says.

and you ignite the end in unison.

[melisica]

[winterfellis]