What is art, but to create what you feel

☆ Just a side blog where I throw all my poetry/feelings ☆ main: @assassinated-sunrise ☆

[suffocated-dawn]

it's strange how purely through the existence

of my mental issues and symptoms alone,

I am able to find comfort.

because I know I wasn't faking it.

that I wasn't exaggerating.

that no matter how many times I was told,

I'm not oversensitive

you can't take these symptoms.

you can't fake the feeling

of not trusting your own mind,

feeling like you are completely unreliable.

you can't fake the fear I feel.

the panic attacks and the flashbacks

I experienced

through my pain and suffering alone,

I find comfort in knowing

that I wouldn't be this fucked up unless something happened to me.

[suffocated-dawn]

Any warmth has long since disappeared,

ice flows through my veins

as I lay here in this glass coffin

They say it's of my own making.

It hasn't a single mark on the surface,

crystal clear are the figures around me

as if They cannot see my nails break,

see my skin splitting

as I claw at this pristine prison

No one cares to hear my screams,

but I can hear Them

I can hear Them perfectly as They look at me

"she's gone" They say, wiping false tears

"she ate the apple, she chose this"

I envy Snow White,

For she didn't have to watch

as the people she loves treat her

as if she is no longer breathing

[suffocated-dawn]

i am grieving my upcoming illusory death

counting down the days to my living funeral

where i will be as good as dead in your eyes

while i just stand here

tears, no doubt, streaming down my face

and you ignore me like a ghost

not fully dead, but in my own hellish purgatory

for not doing as you say

[suffocated-dawn]

i'm taking back the word love

You dont deserve to use it

physical and mental bruises

are all the proof i need

Your misuse of such a word

i've come to understand that it isn't me

it is You that doesn't know what love is.

[suffocated-dawn]

growing up, loving you was so easy

I could say anything and you would hear

I knew when things were hard

that I was never alone

but somewhere along the way,

something changed

your presence turned sour

I yearned for the safety of solitude,

but it never came

invisible eyes peering over my shoulder,

judging every mistake I made

growing up I loved you so easily,

loving you depended on nothing

I accepted you as you were

so why does your love

seem to only depend on obedience?

[suffocated-dawn]

I want to wear a dress

To feel pretty

To feel... feminine?

I want to feel like a woman

Even if I won't ever will

I want to wear a dress

Without it feeling mandatory

Without being reminded

The feeling of every Sunday

I want to wear a dress

Not caring about the length

Or how much skin it shows

Without censoring with "modesty"

An excuse for men's wandering eyes

I just want to wear a dress

[suffocated-dawn]

Simple;

I often like to predict the world

As people everywhere, talking commonsense

Even with the accuracy of my own hectic life

The truth is, life is supposed to be easier

But for some reason, it never seems that simple