i'm at a point in my life where I don't really add new friends to my circle, so it feels a lot more devastating when i lose a friend now than it did in the past. but times change, people change. [ bell. they/them. local parker stan. ]
sugar pine 7 secret santa people! the due date to send in your gift to me is this thursday (the 20th) until monday (the 24th)! if you want to give the gift in dms yourself, message me! otherwise i will assume iâm doing it and wonât give you your gift until you give me one!
me banging on the sp7 office doors: hey guys love the show uhhh quick question about the annual biweekly sugar pine 7 sleepover video itâll just take a minute but why does parker immediately look at cib when steve says âmaybe weâll hook [parker] up tonightâ? like just wondering what way you intended for me to read that if it wasnât âparker has a crush on cibâ and on that note i know itâs like haha funny that parker has a crush on a girl heâs known for .05 seconds but his response of âno, no, that should have been meâ when cib and sami jo are on a date honestly makes more sense if itâs about how parker has been working up the courage to tell cib how he feels for ages and now itâs too late andâlook thereâs no need to call security i donât think you even HAVE security iâm just asking questions that The People want answers to i think we all want to know why TABSP7S goes so hard on parker/cib
title: he was struck by static to the heart.
word count: 992
ship: implied parker / sami jo
a/n: iâm back babey ;)
   Maybe heâs just trying to be the person she wants to see, maybe heâs just desperate for a change. Maybe being a criminal wouldnât be so bad, after all.
   Parker enjoys working with the Sugar Pine Crew. Really, he does. All their loud banter, their pointless arguments about anything from missing leftovers to their next heist plans --- the same job has been put off for two weeks now, only because Steven keeps forgetting other plans ( ranging anywhere between his dad coming to visit, to movie plans with Cib ), but Parker doesnât seem to mind. No one does, really, and the nonchalant dismissal of criminal scheduling makes him a bit uneasy sometimes. Not that it should, of course, but he canât help it. Jeremy always just writes it off as poor management; Andrew shrugs, reminding Parker not to worry too much. No one can keep a steady routine or schedule in a city like this, he insists, and Parker just maintains an easy facade, a light expression. With an awkward laugh far too fake to believe, he agrees.
   Routine always had been a give and take. Growing up in Los Santos, he learned to appreciate what little repetition he could find, buried beneath debris and dirt; gold amidst the useless, he thought, writing bank heists and armed robberies off as outliers and breaks in the expected norm. People, he thought, could thrive more in routine than in spontaneity --- as classmates fell victim to the criminal underbelly of the city, Parker continued to cling to this sliver of hope. Good people existed, he just had to find them. The beautiful beneath the broken, the diamonds in the rough --- they existed, and he soon found a treasure trove of just that.
   The Los Santos Police Department, often the focus of criminal attacks and outlandish violence, contained some of the nicest people Parker has ever met. Though routine existed, it was often dashed with brief splashes of spontaneity, of the unexpected. He learned to appreciate these bursts in small quantities, preferring office work to being out on the ground. He enjoyed reading files on the larger crews, the lesser known crime lords scattered across the town he grew up in; as time progressed, the higher-ups began to consider a newer course of action. More intrusive, more dangerous --- as leadership shifted, these new plans began to be put into place. One by one, people Parker knew fairly well, coworkers he would share a cup of coffee with in the early mornings, or discuss the latest releases with in the afternoons, would end up disappearing from their desks. Weeks later, Parker would find out they were assigned a job somewhere else. Where, well, he was never told. He supposed it best not to ask, either.
   It was three months later when his boss approached him with a proposition. This new position, he said, would be effective immediately. Parker feared the worst, nightmares of reassignment to a different office, or a different city, or a different state, all rushing through his mind even before his boss could continue; when he did, Parker paled immediately, eyes going wide. Despite the insinuations of danger and ever-present threats, he agreed to the job with little evident hesitation; his boss would crucify him in front of the whole squadron if he tried to chicken out, after all, and Parker didnât exactly enjoy public humiliation. He could take it, could keep his mouth shut and center his breathing just long enough to detach anxiety from the situation, but this did not mean he enjoyed being embarrassed in front of his peers. Maybe thatâs why they assigned him to infiltrate the Sugar Pine Crew from the inside, to befriend them and become a staple in the group. Maybe they recognized his stubborn nature, his tendency to distance himself from the opinions of others and to make the most of something despite public torment or obvious dislike. Maybe they just wanted to watch him squirm.
   Befriending Steven Suptic was easy. Easier than Parker wanted it to be --- one misstep, three fervent apologies. He could play up the distressed civilian well, and the fearless crew leader seemed to take some pity in the sight; it made Parkerâs stomach turn. Within the next few months, he became more acquainted with the rest of the group; he learned Stevenâs greatest fear is turning into his father. He learned Cibâs real name is Clayton, and that he fled from Canada after a drug deal went south --- he learned that the Water Warriors couldnât possibly be real, that Autumn has more of a criminal past than records show. Most of this, he figured out from context clues; the rest, he pulled from quiet one-on-one conversations. He considered confessing more times than he could count, played with the notion of admitting his true intentions to the people heâs come to confide in just as he does Jeremy and Andrew, but he couldnât do that. Not after Steven cried through the entirety of Lilo & Stitch, not after Cib got drunk and told him about his unrequited feelings for his best friend. Not after he realized he may be helplessly in love with one of the crewâs newest members.
   Sometimes, he misses his old office. His desk with post-it notes clinging to the screen, his snacks hidden in the back of the farthest drawer to the left --- sure, everyone bickered there, too, but he could deal with that. Friends arguing over who would go buy lunch, coworkers discussing who would get to interrogate the infamous Fake AH Crew next; rumor held that they were always given to the rookies first. Parker longs for that rush sometimes --- he knew it would always come, then pass, like tidal waves against the Santa Monica shoreline. He dreams of taking Sami Jo there some day, if only he could find the courage in his heart to ignore the truth and embrace the lie he has built for himself. Maybe heâs just trying to be the person she wants to see, maybe heâs just desperate for a change. Maybe being a criminal wouldnât be so bad, after all.
me, @televoided, @jamesdeangleis, and @settingorange spent some good time talking with @jamsmcnoon, vicky and mimi today! Thanks again for letting us hang out ( and sorry for tagging you everywhere! ). It was an amazing time, and Iâm so so thankful for how kind and down to earth all of you were. I hope all of you have (had?) safe travels back home! đ
for the ask thing Clayton (i need more music to listen to bell sgsdfg)
letâs trade words
Clayton: What type or music do you like and who are your favourite artist(s)?
okay, so iâm just going to list some of my favorite artists + some good songs by them !! my music taste is pretty all over the place, so iâll try to give ya some variety. ;)
â - the paper chase. i put a lot of their stuff on my old jeremy mixes. some good ones include âsaid the spider to the flyâ, âwhat should we do with your bodyâ, and âyou will never take me aliveâ. theyâre more of my general vibe, i guess? spooky, erratic.Â
â - elliott smith. some of my favorites are âfear cityâ, âeverything means nothing to meâ, and âeverybody cares, everybody understandsâ. his music is so chilling, soft.Â
â - pat the bunny. iâve used his stuff in some mixes before. some good ones are âiâm not a good personâ, âwe donât get tired, we get evenâ, and ârun from whatâs comfortableâ.Â
â - tim minchin. i had to include him on here. he wrote matilda and groundhog day: the musical, as well as being a musician in his own right. some of my all-time favorites are âdrownedâ, âwhite wine in the sunâ, ârock ân roll nerdâ.Â
â - creature feature. iâve listened to a lot of their stuff lately. some good ones include âaim for the headâ, âsuch horrible thingsâ, and âhere there be witchesâ. theyâre spooky culture at itâs finest.