Dear love 💋 @summerraaiin - Tumblr Blog

My first thought … is thank you. Thank you for cultivating the sacred space where we have continued to learn and evolve as one.

Rodney, thank you for fostering the the components of ________ where we have continued to learn and evolve as one.

You both have been light bearers to our adaption of sound, energy, body and fluidity.

Who plays spades? Who understands the fundamental skills needed to successfully win at spades? Understanding the rules, counting & remembering the sets, reading the tone, relying on your team and listening “& I know you can’t talk across the table in spades”. That’s the talent Rodney continues to foster though our choir - specifically what I’ve learned thus far.

It takes a special skill set to recognize the strength and adaptability of an already well oiled choir and to push and shift its expectation from well oiled to peak performance. From extended rehearsals to strengthening our pitches to educating and advancing with the instrumental language of notes and keys. Building the relationship to sound and structure. Even restructuring our brains - my brain so that I understand the how and the why I am able to make the auhh and oooo sound differently. You’re Bridging the connection between thought, body and the production of sound.

In the wake of my one year anniversary with the UDC choir and the soprano divas, I impart my gratitude and appreciation for not only being a director but for encouraging a challenge. Emphasizing “be better than you were today” which translates from not just rising to the expectation that you have for us & trusting us to do so, but also setting a tone for how we should show up to new and improved experiences. So let’s call a spade a spade, as you’ve cut through the noise, you have truly displayed passion, creativity, expertise and commitment to your craft and the philosophy of our praying choir. you are the right man for the job and I look forward to learning more, singing more and embracing our madness as one sound. So thanks and welcome to UDCC.

How he feels about being with me:

Surreal, crazy, warm, dnt know how you got me but damn, you have Me. Crazy that I think I like you more & relieved

The weekend of June 28-30 was a great one!

June 28: we smoked, drank a little, sat outside under the stars on the sidewalk, legs wrapped and talked, kissed, touched and enjoyed our senses feeling the space between us !

June 29: during vigorous sex, I told him I love him! But it was just the sex - even though I meant it.

We moved him out of his apartment to his grands.

That night - we had more sex in U-Haul truck in the U-Haul parking lot upon return. Two officers came and ran our identifications. The officer “I know yall taking a break. Not here” Go somewhere else” Kalvin “you said you wanted to get caught too”

In poetry we say you are the north. So no matter how long we feel, we always go north and go home and where you’ll be

I am stressed over Alexandra which I didn’t expect, fahim and wanting his attention, work obligations. I feel like Alexandra has higher expectations that I couldn’t meet and would punish me and speak too direct to me! I don’t like it, I feel like it’s easy to discard me and at a vulnerable time, it’s not okay. I just want fahim attention and need to let that go. I dnt care for my job anymore

I didn’t make the wrong decision, I tested my luck and reaped the consequences. Sunday, June 9th, my world turned cold and full - it was no longer my own,

My life’s decision belonged to another and I bare that cross.

June 11, I blurted out the most terrifying phrase and watched the reality set in as well as the plan at hand.

June 12, so many jokes made, life was lighthearted and gentle. With the swallow of one pill, I took a fatal dose. Concurred my thoughts, said my goodbyes and with a heavy sigh, I counted the time. 1239pm. I couldn’t believe the time.

Days pass and I felt at ease. It was all fun and jokes until Sunday pass, test reads from 972 to 3,000,

we never really said good bye, did we?

But little baby, you’re not where you’re supposed to be. Trapped in a small dark place all alone with no one to save you - no life waiting to nurture you. It was my job to protect you. For when you leave this place, this secret safe place where I would have comforted and protected you - you would have gone until it was time again. But you didn’t have that chance, instead you suspensefully lodged into a forbidden cave where you growth would have bore no chance and thus you were expelled from my body, and with your explosion, you took a reminder of my life’s decision. That one moment when life would not have poised such complications, where my health would not have been challenged in the end. Where the fruit of my womb would plant a garden of gifts. ____

It’s been a long week, 6 days in fact.

Patience is better but it’s fruit is sweet

We are the art of the mother 🤍

My heart hurts. My heart is hurting in 3 ways by 3 different people. My heart hurts but one has yet again hurt me the most.

God please give me peace! Please help me to get past this and let my heart heal a bit. Please provide me with direction, lord, please provide me me with direction.

To the nigga watching my feed, when you die, I hope I get the pleasure of holding her hand and smiling at your grave. 🙏🏾

i graduated 30 days ago. here is what i’ve learned:

- i’ve been in survival mode for majority of my secondary education.

- i thrive with a daily routine.

- i finally have time to find, keep, and fall in love.

- i have so many new things to explore and the time to do it.

- my family truly loves me and have been my strongest foundation.

- my friends truly love me and have never left me.

- i am enough.

- i have so much time in my day… i enjoy my days.

My grand proclamation that I was going to marry him has ended in the assurance that he will not.

I miss feeling desired and wanted. I miss feeling like someone wants me. How can I be in a relationship where I genuinely dnt feel desired. That suffocating feeling is happening again. I feel like I’ll combust… idk what to do.. why is this so hard… why is this so hard.

I am a magical, spiritual, hippie mermaid 🕊✨

Some gravitational forces are too intense or strong to ignore or dispute

This is me missing you.

Me longing for this, our little us.

When 4 years, isn’t enough, let’s challenge a lifetime and see what she possesses.

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Dear love 💋