counting the sky lights .

indie private multi muse rp blog.

[sunminutes]

               ❁  __     ⋆  ﹙   sunminutes  .   ﹚  :          the  sun  burns  me  when  my  mouth  lolls  open  ,     my  razor  sharp  teeth  snipping  the  tips  of  my  nerves  .     my  tongue  opens  up  red  and  red  and  red  .     and  i  am  a  child  sitting  in  the  pews  of  a  church  that  bleeds  my  palms  dry  when  my  mother  closes  her  eyes  to  pray  .     the  light  of  my  childhood  with  deaf  ears  and  closed  eyes  .

                    independent  private  multi  muse  narrated  by   polar  .     this  blog  does  not  have  a  theme  ,     but  i  do  have  quick  links  !

               links  :     rules  .     mobile  muse  roster  .

[sunminutes]

very unofficial starter call <///3 like for a starter from a random muse <3

[sunminutes]

very unofficial starter call <///3 like for a starter from a random muse <3

[sunminutes]

sample.

&   love  paints  her  full  of  foolishness ,   full  of  untouched  poems  that  carve  themselves  to  the  inside  of  her  veins  instead  of  someone  else’s  arms .     the  sea  in  her  speaks  like  a  mother ,   tells  her  that  her  hands  always  come  up  empty  yet  full  of  her .     she  is  not  the  ocean ,   but  her  legs  shake  like  she  belongs  there   &   with  water  in  her  lungs ,   with  her  hair  floating  halos  like  the  water  angel  she  could  be .     but  she  isn’t  there ,   &   she’s  with  a  face  that  sees  her  calloused  hands  ;     this  is  the  only  way  her  story  writes  itself .     a  childhood  full  of  storybook  heroes  with  the  shining  face  of  a  father   &   fairytale  mothers  with  the  cradling  arms  of  a  mother  ;     she  could  lie   &   say  her  parents  mean  nothing  to  her ,   yet  this  biting  cold  in  the  eyes of  a  child   &   trembling  lips  on  the  dejected  face  of  a  child .     the  overhead  conversation  that  couldn’t  possibly  be  for  her ,   this  itching  feeling  in  the  back  of  her  throat  that  feels  like  water  trickling  through  the  cracks  of  a  dam .     today’s  history  lessons  says  this  :     the  unwanted  daughter  is  the  grief  that  makes  a woman  forever  sad  ;     the  unwanted  son  sends  his  grief  away   &   trades  for  anger ,   yet  the  unwanted  daughter  becomes  the  distance  between  a  heart   &   a  mouth ,   becomes  the  space  between  sorrow   &   yearning .     the  provisions  of  dead  honey  fall  to  her  always - open  hands  ;     this  is  both  inevitable   &   everywhere   &   never  yours .     never  yours   &   yet  in  your  mouth  always . the  story  goes  like  this  :     you  are  the  hand  that  touches  me  like  how  you  peel  oranges  for  your  mother .     you  ruin  this  sadness  like  ruptured  skin  ;     i  bloom  under  your  touch  like  a  mouth  to  a  neck .     &   it  is  habit  to  say  what  your  hands  do  will  never  be  enough ,   but  i  shake  under  you  like  a  leaf  to  the  night .     i  reach  for  you  the  way  a  child  reaches  out  in  desperation  to  anyone  who  looks  at  them .     i  am  like  that  ;     i  mean  to  say  you  look  at  me   &   i  am  much  greedier  than  i  ever  thought  i  could  ever  be .     it’s  nothing  i  should  care  for ,   but  when  you  touch  me ,   this  shameful  me  i  know  as  this  girl  full  of  unloves  becomes  this  shameful  me  i  know  as  this  girl  full  of  love  for  you ,   or  love  for  the  you  who  loves  me .     &   to  say  children  live  at  the  center  of everything  means  to  say  that  children  live  in  the  center  of  something  bad ,   &   to  say  i  live  in  the  center  of  you  is  to  say  that  i  think my  sins  could  be  forgiven  if  you  forgave  me  for  everything  you  never  knew . the  consolation  lives  in  his  mouth  ;     the  despair  fits  itself  into  her  hands   just  as  perfect  as  she fits into  his .     the  consolation  is  that  he  is  here   &   i  am  here   &   that  should  be  enough  ;     &   it’s  enough  for  me  but  never  the  world  who  wants .     the  tragedy  is  that  her  body  has  never  been  strong  enough  to  protect  herself  from  the  god  dripping  over  her  shoulders  like  a  drowned  girl  full  of  sadness   &   possession   &   yearning .     the  tragedy  is that  the  girl  is  not  her  but  it  should  be   &   salvation  is  a  parched  want  ;     the  man  of  her  past  that  is  not  her  past  never  wants  her  in  his  arms ,     but  this  man’s  arms  open   &   never  close .     &   she  wonders  if  her  suffering  is  like  a  punishment ,   if  her  plague  is  this  ache   &   cough   &   heat  that  never  leaves  her  quite  like  how  she  was  before .     she  means  to  say  that  her  heart  is  big  enough  to  hold  both  her   &   her   &   their  sorrow ,   but  her  heart  can  be  big  enough  to  hold  this  light  that  never  dims .     it  should  be big  enough ,   &   she  wants  to  say  that  she  has  never  replaced  anything  in  her  life ,   but  she  would  much  rather  replace  this  dread  with  love ,   &   love  is  there  but  why  can’t  love  ever  be  just  enough  ?     &   she  doesn’t  answer  that  question  because  the  answer  is  another  question  but  to  answer  with  another  question  is  never  the  actual  answer  or  a  worthy  one .          “   i  want  soup ,   &   i  want  you  to  feed  me  the  soup ,   but  i  want  you  to  want  to  feed  me  the  soup .   ”

[toskaesque]

MITSKI LYRIC / SENTENCE STARTERS. send in a lyric accrued across all five of mitski’s lp / albums.  or send 🌹 to have a random number generated to get a starter that incorporates the corresponding lyric!

content warning:  suggestive themes.

❛  in the rearview mirror i saw the setting sun on your neck, and felt the taste of you bubble up inside me. ❜

❛  every time i drive through the city where you’re from, i squeeze a little. ❜

❛  but with everybody watching us, our every move, we do have reputations. ❜

❛  i always wanted to die clean & pretty. ❜

❛  he liked her more than life itself, i’m sure. ❜

❛  of course, you couldn’t know it was you and you alone. ❜

❛  so come inside and be with me, alone with me. ❜

❛  i wouldn’t have to scream your name atop of every roof in the city of my heart, if i could see you. ❜

❛  i don’t need the world to see that i’ve been the best i can be. ❜

❛  one warm summer night, i’ll hear fireworks outside, and i’ll listen to the memories as they cry. ❜

❛  we nearly drowned for such a silly thing. ❜

❛  if i could i’d be your little spoon and kiss your fingers forevermore. ❜

❛  everything you feel is good, if you would only let you. ❜

❛  i’m not happy or sad, just up or down, and always bad. ❜

❛  i haven’t told anyone just like we promised, have you? ❜

❛  i will wash your hair at night and dry it off with care. ❜

❛  i will see your body bare, and still, i will live here. ❜

❛  stay with me, hold my hand – there’s no need to be brave. ❜

❛  all the quiet nights you bare, sal them up with care. ❜

❛  we’re not out of the tunnel yet, i bet you though, there’s an end. ❜

❛  i say your name in hopes you’ll hear it in the stars. ❜

❛  one morning this sadness will fossilize, and i will forget how to cry. ❜

❛  i told him i’d do anything to have him stay with me. ❜

❛  when you go, take this heart – i’ll make no more use of it when there’s no more you. ❜

❛  what do you do with a loving feeling if the loving feeling makes you all alone? ❜

❛  tell your baby that i’m your baby. ❜

❛  i know that i ended it but why won’t you chase after me? ❜

❛  you know me better than i do. ❜

❛  i want a kiss like my heart is hitting the ground. ❜

❛  you’re coming back and it’s the end of the world. ❜

❛  went to your room thinking maybe you’ll feel something. ❜

❛  you can come closer, i’ll let you hurt me how you choose. ❜

❛  i’m tired of not loving you. ❜

❛  i always want you when i’m finally fine. ❜

❛  i’m staying up late just in case you come up and ask to leave with me. ❜

❛  i don’t wanna go home yet, let me walk to the top of the big night sky. ❜

❛  i don’t know what to do without you, i don’t know where to put my hands. ❜

❛  i don’t think i could stand to be where you don’t see me. ❜

❛  they’ll never know how i stared at the dark in that room with no thoughts like a blood-sniffing shark. ❜

❛  i should tell them that i’m not afraid to die. ❜

❛  you’d say you love me and look in my eyes, but i know through mine, you were looking in yours. ❜

❛  we’re starting over and i love you darling. ❜

❛  all i wanna do is get naked in front of you. ❜

❛  you know, you made me happy. ❜

❛  i just need a quiet place where i can scream how i love you. ❜

❛  give me your love for being so good. ❜

❛  take me out, baby, makes no difference where we’ll be. ❜

❛  fuck you and your money, i’m tired of your money. ❜

❛  you know, i wore this dress for you;  these killer heels for you. ❜

❛  went to your room thinking maybe you’ll feel something. ❜

❛  there’s a lie that i told you. ❜

❛  i would give you my heart, i think. ❜

❛  my heart wants to hold you, but i know the rules.  ❜

❛  my god i’m so lonely. ❜

❛  you’re home to me. ❜

❛  if i am not yours, what am i? ❜

❛  i don’t need anything other than you. ❜

❛  would you let me let go? ❜

❛  i don’t blame you if you want to bury me in your memory. ❜

❛  don’t dare regret anything. ❜

❛  would you just tell me what i’m meant to do? ❜

❛  i’ve waited and watered my heart til it grew; you can see how it’s blossomed for you. ❜

❛  maybe when you tell your friends, you can tell them what you saw in me. ❜

❛  i don’t want your pity, i just want somebody near me. ❜

❛  could we be what we’re meant to be? ❜

❛  i know no one will save me, i’m just asking for a kiss. ❜

❛  nobody butters me up like you and nobody fucks me like me. ❜

❛  are you waiting to touch me? ❜

❛  would you tell me if you want me? ❜

❛  i’m not wearing my usual lipstick, i thought maybe we would kiss tonight. ❜

❛  i know who you pretend i am. ❜

❛  why not me? ❜

❛  there’s nobody better than you. ❜

❛  would you spare me your voice if i called? ❜

❛  i hope you leave before the sun comes up so i can watch it alone. ❜

❛  i think my life is losing momentum. ❜

❛  i can’t move until you show me. ❜

❛  you’re all i ever wanted;  i think i’ll regret this. ❜

❛  i’m tired of wanting more;  i think i’m finally worn. ❜

❛  somebody kiss me, i’m going crazy. ❜

❛  it would be a hundred times easier if we were young again. ❜

❛  i’ve been blossoming alone over you. ❜

❛  your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me. ❜

❛  i could stare at your back all day. ❜

❛  you’re the sun, you never see the night and you hear its songs from the morning birds. ❜

❛  i am the fire and i am the forest and i am a witness watching it. ❜

❛  you love me so hard and i still can’t sleep. ❜

❛  you’re growing tired of me, and all the things i don’t talk about. ❜

❛  sorry i don’t want your touch;  it’s not that i don’t want you. ❜

❛  it’s just that i fell in love with a war;  nobody told me it ended. ❜

❛  every night, baby, that’s where i go. ❜

❛  why am i lonely for some lonesome love? ❜

❛  i hear my heart breaking tonight;  do you hear it too? ❜ 

❛  i want a love that falls as fast as a body from the balcony. ❜

❛  please hurry leave me i can’t breathe, please don’t say you love me. ❜

❛  i’ve been anywhere and it’s not what i want, i wanna be still with you. ❜

❛  you have a way of promising things. ❜

❛  you’ve turned down every hand that has beckoned me to come. ❜

❛  it’s not real enough. ❜

❛  i will be the one you need, the way i can’t be without you. ❜

❛  i need something bigger than the sky. ❜

❛  i need somebody to remember my name after all that i can do for them is done. ❜

❛  how many stars will i need to hang around me to finally call it heaven? ❜

❛  i just can’t be without you. ❜

❛  can you come to where i’m staying and make some extra love? ❜

[freshmoviequotes]

Scenes from a Marriage (2021)

[latibule-e-deactivated20231012]

People say hate is a wasted emotion, a destructive force you can do nothing useful with. They're wrong. I've gripped rage, I've wielded it like a weapon.

Laura Purcell, from The Corset

[awakefor48hours]

Which one is harder

Sending an email

Making a phone call

Voting ended onMar 8, 2023

If you vote please reblog.

[ssweeneys]

Halston Sage in You Get Me (2017―)

[sunminutes]

﹙   mobile  muse  roster  .   ﹚

this  is  the  mobile  muse  roster  .     this  is  where  my  more  closely  updated  list   &   description  of  muses  will  be  .

          MARYANA  SMIRNOVA  :          Older twin to Tatyana. Born in America to two Russian immigant parents. Field agent seeking and researching information and presences of the supernatural per their agency Investigation of Uncharted Creations (IUC), which is a private government-contracted agency. Psychic capabiltiies.

          TATYANA  SMIRNOVA  :          Younger twin to Maryana. Born in America to two Russian immigant parents. Field agent seeking and researching information and presences of the supernatural per their agency Investigation of Uncharted Creations (IUC), which is a private government-contracted agency. Psychic capabiltiies.

[sunminutes]

﹙   guide  lines  .   ﹚

hi ,   i’m  polar  !     these  are  the  general  rules  to  my  blog  !     it’s  not  a  long  read ,   &   i  hate  making  rules .     most  things  are  pretty  standard .     i  hope  i  get  along  with  everyone  !

♡   ﹗          this  blog  is  an  INDEPENDENT  PRIVATE  SELECTIVE  MULTI - MUSE ,   meaning  that  my  blog  isn’t  connected  to  any  fandom ,   etc ,   my  blog  is  only  open  to  interaction  from   mutuals     (   meaning  i  will  block  that  certain  blog  that  attempts  to  interact  with  me  without  being  mutuals   ) ,   i  am  very  selective  in  who  i  follow / follow  back .     if  these  things  are  not  followed ,   i  will  know  that  you  didn’t  read  my  rules ,   &   i  might  determine  the  best  course  of  action  is  to  softblock / block .

♡   ﹗          i  do  not  have  any  triggers  i  need  tagged ,   but  i  will  be  tagging  others’  triggers / general  triggers  in  this  format  :     ___ / .     while  i  do  not  mean  to  trigger  anyone ,   triggers  will  be  present  on  this  blog ,   &   i  do  try  to  present  an  appropriate  warning .     this  is  the  appropriate  warning  :     triggers  that  might  not  be  initially  tagged may  be  present  on  this  blog .     i  will  try  to  remember  to  tag  things ,   but  if  i  do  forget ,   just  remind  me  either  in  tumblr  dm  or  inbox .

♡   ﹗          i  reserve  the  right  to  play  the  muses  on  this  blog  however  i  deem  fit  to  play .     i  am  in  no  way ,   shape ,   or  form  connected  to  the  faces or art resources i use in this blog .     creatively ,   i  own  my  own  ideas .     i  make  all  of  my  graphics   &   such  if  not  mentioned  explicitly .     if  someone  else  is  to  be  credited ,   i  will  credit  them .

♡   ﹗          i  am  a  relatively  busy  person ,   so  there  are  times  when  i  won’t  be  present  on  this  blog .     i  will  try  to  be  here  as  much  as  i  can   &   do  as  much  as  i  can  while  i  am  here .     in  terms  of  replies ,   i  need  inspiration   &   motivation  to  write ,   so  i  will  be  taking  my  general  time  with  them .     typically ,   i  am  more  likely  to  have  motivation  for  plotted  interactions   &   my  friends .     PLEASE  do  not  take  that  personally .     if  i  am  not  writing  on  my  blog ,   i  will  be  available  to  plot .     just  give  me  a  heads  up .     don’t  take  it  personally  if  i’m  not  in  the  mood  to  do  either  because  inspiration  is  very  finicky  for  me .

♡   ﹗          BASIC  ROLEPLAY  ETIQUETTE  APPLIES .      most  people  know  what  this  means ,   no  godmodding ,   your  muse  knowing  things  about  my  character  that  aren’t  common  knowledge ,   etc .     if  i  randomly  soft  or  hard  block  you     (   depending  on  the  preference  of  that  blog   ) ,   do  not  be  offended .     i  just  couldn’t  see  a  continued  interaction  with  your  muse   &   my  muse     (   other  things  also  could  be  factors   ) .

♡   ﹗          this  is  really  just  a  general  requirement  for  my  blog .     i  will  only  interact  with  muns  that  are  18 + .   if  i  don’t  know  your  age / see  it  on  your  blog ,   I  WON’T  BE  FOLLOWING .     THIS  IS  NON - NEGOTIABLE .

♡   ﹗          my  muses  are  multi , single , or non  ship .     if  we  ship  our  muses ,   they  need  to  have  chemistry ,   or  it  just  won’t  be  happening .     generally ,   I  SHIP  WITH  WHO  I  AM  COMFORTABLE  WITH .     though ,   MY  MUSES  WILL  ONLY  SHIP  WITH  ONE  VERSION  OF  THAT  CHARACTER / FACE  CLAIM .     don’t  force  ships  on  me   &   my  muse ,   that  is  more  than  enough  reason  to  block  someone  for  me     (   because  of  itself   &   it  puts  up  a  red  flag  for  other  behaviors   ) .

♡   ﹗          i  do  not  promote  or  support  homophobia ,   racism ,   pedophilia ,   etc .     this  blog  is  going  to  be  a  place  where  i  will  not  tolerate  any  drama .     speak  to  me  if  you  have  a  problem ,   i  will  delete  any  unreasonable  hate  in  my  mailbox .     I  WILL  ALSO  PRIVATELY  SEEK  YOU  OUT  IF  WE  HAVE  ISSUES .     WE  ARE  ADULTS  ;     WE  WILL  SOLVE  ISSUES  LIKE  ADULTS .     i  also  obviously  as  stated  will  not  be  very  privy  to  the  different  problematic  users  here ,   or  the  specific  problems  in  the  rpc ,   but  just  let  me  know  if  you  notice  me  doing  anything  really  concerning   &   educate  me  on  what  i  need  to  be  educated  on  !

♡   ﹗          my  name  is  polar ,   &   my  public  pronouns  are  she/her  !!     (   when  i  get  more  comfortable  with  people ,   i  do  also  go  by  he/him  pronouns   ) .     i  am  23 ,   &  i  work  fulltime  as  well  as