Could you do dazai chuuya and ranpo when their wife gets hit on 🤭
bsd men when their wife gets hit on ─ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆
ᯓ feat. osamu dazai, chuuya nakahara, ranpo edogawa, ryunosuke akutagawa, saigiku jouno ( separated )
contains. wife!reader, fluff, jealous bsd men, reader getting hit on
word count. 1.4k
𑣲note. hiii!! thank you for requesting!! I hope you like it!!
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This one is the most dramatic.
You’re walking through the city when someone stops you, smiling brightly.
“Hey, you’re really pretty. Can I get your number?”
You’re about to politely decline when Dazai suddenly appears behind you, draping himself over your shoulders.
“She’s taken,” he says sweetly.
The person laughs awkwardly. “Oh, I didn’t know—”
“She’s very, very taken,” Dazai continues, resting his chin on your head. “Emotionally, legally, spiritually, and tragically by me.”
You elbow him. “Stop being weird.”
The person apologizes and walks away.
Dazai sighs dramatically. “People keep trying to steal you.”
He looks at you with mock seriousness. “You underestimate my paranoia.”
You smile and lace your fingers with his. “Relax. I chose you.”
He beams like he just won the lottery.
It happens at a bar after a Port Mafia event.
Some guy—too confident, too loud—leans against the counter next to you.
“So, what’s a pretty thing like you doing here alone?”
You blink. “I’m not alone.”
He laughs like you’re joking. “Come on, let me buy you a drink—”
Chuuya appears instantly, sliding an arm around your waist like he materialized out of jealousy.
“She doesn’t need your drink,” he says calmly.
The guy looks him up and down. “And you are?”
Her husband,” Chuuya replies, smiling in a way that is absolutely not friendly. “And you’re blocking my view.”
You hide a grin as the guy mutters an apology and leaves.
Chuuya leans down to your ear. “You good?”
You nod. “Yeah. But you looked like you were about to punch him.”
“He was looking at you wrong.”
You laugh. “You’re so possessive.”
He scoffs, but pulls you closer. “You’re mine. That’s just fact.”
You’re at a café, waiting for Ranpo, when someone at the next table starts chatting with you.
They’re nice. Friendly. A little too flirty.
“So, maybe we could hang out sometime?”
Before you can answer, Ranpo drops into the chair beside you and casually slings an arm over your shoulders.
“She’s busy,” he says, munching on a snack.
The person blinks. “Oh—sorry, I didn’t know—”
“She’s married,” Ranpo adds. “To me. And I’m way cooler.”
He smirks at you. “What? I was being factual.”
The stranger leaves, embarrassed.
Ranpo turns to you, completely unbothered. “You’re popular.”
You roll your eyes. “You’re impossible.”
“And you’re still married to me,” he replies smugly.
𝐑𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐖𝐀 ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆
one second, you’re standing at the counter waiting for your order—
the next, some stranger is leaning a little too close.
“haven’t seen you around before,” he says, smiling like he thinks it’s charming.
you blink politely. “i’m just visiting.”
“lucky place then,” he replies smoothly. “makes it worth it.”
you offer a tight smile, already turning slightly away. “i’m actually here with—”
“you got time for a drink?” he cuts in.
you don’t even see him arrive.
but it cuts through everything.
and immediately regrets it.
because standing behind you is Ryūnosuke Akutagawa—
and something dark curling at his feet.
“you are obstructing,” akutagawa says flatly. “move.”
you sigh softly. “…ryuu—”
“hey, man, relax,” the stranger scoffs, though his voice wavers slightly. “i’m just talking to her.”
but it lands like a blade.
the man stiffens. “…your—”
you glance back at him, offering a small, apologetic smile.
akutagawa doesn’t look at you.
his gaze stays locked on the man.
“…you have five seconds,” he says.
“…or what?” the guy tries.
the black fabric at akutagawa’s side twitches.
“okay, okay—” the man raises his hands, backing up quickly. “didn’t know she was taken.”
“you knew,” akutagawa replies coldly.
“…you chose to ignore it.”
you turn fully now, crossing your arms slightly.
“that was the intention.”
“…you didn’t have to threaten him.”
you sigh. “…i had it handled.”
“you should not have to handle it.”
“it is unnecessary,” he continues, tone clipped. “for anyone to approach you like that.”
there’s something under it.
something sharper than irritation.
you step closer, peering up at him.
then lean in just slightly.
“…so if i said yes to that drink—”
his hand moves instantly.
his grip tightens slightly.
“…do not entertain such hypotheticals.”
“…because i would not allow it.”
you squeeze his hand lightly.
“…and it’s kind of cute.”
“…this is not a matter to be considered ‘cute.’”
you lean closer, lowering your voice.
“…but just so you know… i wasn’t interested.”
he doesn’t respond immediately.
his grip loosens slightly.
“…you looked displeased.”
“…i notice everything about you.”
he looks away slightly, clearing his throat.
“…come,” he mutters. “our order is ready.”
letting him guide you away—
his hand never quite leaving yours.
“…you’ve got a lovely voice,” the man says, clearly pleased with himself.
you smile politely. “thank you.”
“can’t say i’ve heard it around here before.”
“means i’ve been missing out.”
you’re about to excuse yourself when—
the voice that cuts in is light.
“…how bold,” comes the soft hum beside you.
“ah,” he interrupts gently. “forgive me. i couldn’t help but overhear.”
you don’t even need to look to know it’s Saigiku Jōno.
his presence is… unmistakable.
“you seem quite interested in my wife,” jōno continues, tone airy.
the man stiffens. “…your wife?”
“mm,” he nods slightly. “though i must say, your approach is rather… lacking.”
“well,” jōno tilts his head. “you complimented her voice. how uninspired.”
the man frowns. “i was just being nice—”
“were you?” jōno hums. “it sounded more like an attempt.”
you place a hand lightly on jōno’s arm. “…it’s fine.”
he pats your hand gently.
“of course it is,” he says sweetly. “you’re far too kind.”
“…unfortunately for you.”
“…look, i didn’t know she was married,” the man says, a little defensive now.
“ignorance is such a convenient excuse,” jōno replies.
“…but i’ll be generous and overlook it.”
“thanks,” the man mutters, already stepping back.
“however,” jōno adds lightly—
“…should you find yourself tempted to approach her again…”
“…i suggest you reconsider.”
but something about it makes the man pale.
you exhale, turning to jōno.
“…you didn’t have to interrogate him.”
“i did no such thing,” he replies smoothly.
“…you basically threatened him.”
“did i?” he tilts his head. “how interesting.”
you cross your arms. “…you’re impossible.”
“and yet you married me.”
“…questionable decision.”
“…what a curious question.”
you narrow your eyes slightly.
close enough that his voice drops.
“…i do not experience something so crude.”
“…so that wasn’t jealousy?”
“…you can’t just say that.”
he seems entirely unbothered.
you sigh—then smile slightly.
“…for the record, i wasn’t interested.”
“mm,” he hums. “your tone shifted. your posture as well.”
“…still,” he adds softly.
his hand finds yours—fingers sliding between yours with ease.
“…it is unpleasant,” he admits.
“…when others forget their place.”
your heart softens just slightly.
“…if it pleases you to call it that.”
osamuslvt ─ 2026 ꕥ
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