This might seem like kind of a rant but it is an important realization that I have had recently. When we are young, all we want is to be older, to move forward, to accomplish our goals, to live our lives, to move out, to move up, to move on. And when we are older, all we want is to be younger, to be able to go back and do it all over again with the knowledge we have now. The solution to this, as simple as it may seem, is to stay present. Rather than wishing you were elsewhere or wishing time would move faster or slower, appreciate where you are in the current moment, appreciate all that you have, let yourself live, take your time, do what is important to you, you won’t get these moments back. I know many of you may be living at home with your parents and wishing that you could move out already, wanting to go your own way, but do you ever stop to think that, for your parents, that means letting go of their children and the next steps for their lives will be attending your wedding, becoming grandparents, retiring, old age, and death? Do you stop to think that they have already lived the years you are living and when you force yourself to grow up too fast, you’re forcing them to grow up faster as well? And why is it that we have so many regrets? Is it because we are embarrassing scr*w ups that live regrettable lives? Or is it because we run so fast through life that we miss all of the good moments, we miss out on making good choices because we are trying to make choices that will propel us through life. For instance, so many of us turned away from studies, sports, and healthy friendships in favor of partying, underaged drinking, and sex in high school/college. Are we better off for that? Because we had fun experiences that we can literally have at ANY point in life? Or are we worse off because we got distracted, did poorly in school, gave up on activities that we really enjoyed, and messed up friendships and relationships that meant a lot to us? Skipping ahead to the finish line only makes us finish faster. It doesn’t make the moments more special, it doesn’t make us more likely to accomplish our goals, it just makes them all fly by faster. It makes our lives fly by faster and we miss so much along the way. Think about how much time you have spent being anxious about something that hasn’t happened yet, being depressed about something that either already happened or we don’t know for sure WILL happen, think about how many opportunities we missed out on because we spent the time we could have had with our friends and our families and our pets...wondering if our lives will come together the way we want them to? But again, it’s not worth dwelling on because looking into the past for things we could have done better only prevents us from living in the moment. The only way to really live in the moment and embrace all life has to offer is to appreciate the present, look at your present situation, don’t compare it to anyone else’s, and see all of the blessings within that moment. Okay, so you haven’t moved out of your parents house yet? Those are extra days, weeks, months, years that you get to spend with them that you won’t get back in the future. Sure, you’ll still spend time with them in the future, but they will be older...they will be old...and then someday they will be gone. So you don’t always get along with your siblings, but why spend time fighting and arguing? Just accept each other for who you are and embrace each day you spend with them. No one knows what the future holds but it might not hold those late night talks in each other’s rooms, it might not hold the heartfelt hugs and tickle fights, it might not involve movie nights and pillow forts. You will eventually go your separate ways to live your lives and make families of your own, you won’t always live together...so wouldn’t you rather appreciate the time you do have together? Siblings are always there to defend each other against outside forces, so we shouldn’t attack each other inside.
When you do go off to build your own life, don’t spend every moment anxiously predicting your own downfall or wishing you could go back, appreciate the life you are living and share each moment with the people you miss. Don’t regret growing distant between your family, find ways to include them in even the smallest of things. I can promise you, your mom wants to hear from you, even if it’s just to talk about someone that was rude to you in traffic or a good deal you found on shoes or a new food place you want to try. I swear to you that your dad wants to see every part of your life, even if it’s a picture of someone in a funny shirt you saw on the street, or a delicious meal you had recently, or a poopy diaper that got EVERYWHERE. I KNOW that your siblings want to be near you, even if it’s just a lunch date at a place you all hate but agreed to meet at, even if it’s just taking your kids to the park together, even if it’s just going for a drive to talk about life. Don’t cut people out of your life because you want to make room for new friends and spouses and coworkers. Those people all have their own spaces in your lives that no one else will push them out of. And please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD make time for your pets, show them you care, be kind to them, hold them close, love them with all you have because their lives are even shorter than ours and the time you get with them is limited. Your spouses, your children, your grandchildren, they will all outlive your pets so don’t make your pets feel sidelined or ignored because they left their real families (most of the time forever) to become a part of yours. Treasure them and value that sacrifice. You spend time with your families on holidays, they spend time with you so be a good family to them. Love them with all you have. And treasure every moment of every day for all of your life. That is the secret to a perfect, blessed life.
2087
theartofmadeline
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