Hobknocker @suprisewhale - Tumblr Blog

nonbinaryshaw-deactivated201711

INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE who are simultaneously GIANT DORKS are my ULTIMATE WEAKNESS

how did i forget the color of the walls that surrounded the room that became my home for 6 months. she didn't change them, she didn't paint them, i completely forgot. and i saw a picture and thought they were different but looking back on old photos the colors of her walls never changed. no wonder i didn't love her the right way.

quit reading my stuff.

okay but like why do I get so ahead of myself like I told the one person who might ACTUALLY give a lil shit about me that I give up because I was so excited about this crush I was like oh wow this is cool and I told her I was like hey dude I like rejected 3 people in one day and she was like oh cool and thEN THE NEXT FUCKIN DAY SHES LIKE HEY NO LOL OOPS BYE AAAAHHHHHAAAAA idk I'm probably imagining that it's worse than it is but I'm gone for a week and I swear to GOD I might have to punch someone.

illusions

you never fall for you best friend, you fall for the comfort they give to you on the cold and lonely nights. things in a constant stand still until one day one of you grows the guts to say something. it is time to move on and face reality that you cannot sit and wait, as there are people who you don't have to imagine the bad things they've done to you because they will have never done any bad things to you. your best friend is your best friend and there's no changing that. more or less you both grow up and deal with the fact that's all you will ever be. and you will learn that that's all you ever want it to be. you best friend will give you panic attacks and say they hate you and tell you to your face how bad they really think you are. but over time you will understand that because of that you cannot fall for you best friend. you may only fall for the fond memories you will create together while filling the gaps of loneliness and boredom.

g-eazysource

too sad to be loved by the pretty girls with long hair

a poem that writes itself, i mean the title gets my point across enough no point in writing anything else.

i never meant to make her un happy I just don't know how to love in the way she needs love. I went to find a picture of her eyes but now I'm lost in them and I don't know how to get away from here.

she renamed the google drive folder that is filled with every picture taken during the 6 months that will always have a piece of my heart to "unhappy". she deleted the folder with the cute videos of her that I had. she put christmas pictures in there but I can never look at them again without thinking of how badly I messed up the one thing that I have ever actually put my all into. and was right all along. I burn everything I touch and make everyone around me feel like shit and I just want to go back to day 1. I would've asked about her mom and the pretty flowers she laid out for her. I could've changed everything. I could've been happy. I could've been spending my summer with her but instead I am spending my summer with people I constantly hurt or annoy. and it sucks. I just want her to tell me it'll all be okay.

illuminudes

americuh

Give me your forever, or at least just for a while

Blackbear - Girls Like U (via 477)

etherqueen-deactivated20160417

when your mental illness starts acting up again

a shitty poem by a shitty person

the idea that maybe one day an extraordinary person like you would be by an ordinary persons side, you were meant for outer space babe and i was meant for diging in the mines. i've always adored the stars and maybe it's because they're out of my reach and maybe i enjoy the thrill of wishing to reach them one day, but i will never reach the stars just like i will never reach you.