Tumblr Survivor: Riau Islands

Riau Islands is the 27th season of Tumblr Survivor. Twenty returning players and two newbies have been divided by their sexes and must battle it out for the title of Sole Survivor, all on the same beach.

[survivor-riau]

The Last of the Confessionals - Finale

Things feel eerie today and I hate that. Like no one is talking. I thinkkkk the vote is for Catherine. But Lord knows. Teddy got thrown into an alliance chat with Cat and Shannon and apparently even they've been quiet all day. Hateeee that..

Ps, kinda funnny. I sent Sami after the Erin vote "You mad?" And like I was being totally genuine. but Teddy said she was talking to him about it and apparently took it sarcastically like the meme LOOOOOL wups. Darn mis-communications.

So I am now going to send in my Catherine vote and hope for da best.  

I'm in a complicated spot gamewise.  That entire jury minus Josh, really fucking hates me, I wouldn't be surprised if Ponderosa was renamed 'Lydia Sux" If I wanna win, I don't think there is any point or hope in playing nice now.

Everyone has been so quiet today I wouldn't be surprised if I got voted out.  I'm really debating playing my idol.  I know Teddy would have to flip to make it happen, but last vote with Erin brought up a lot of distrust between us, and I haven't let it go just yet.

I don't know what to saaaaaaaay I hope that my alliance is sturdy tho??? lol

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GUARANTEED FINAL FIIIIIVVEEEEEEEE I'M PREEEETTTTYYYYYY EXCITEDDDDDD AND I'VE GOT INFECTED TONSILS (WTF?), BUT THE DOCTOR DIDN'T MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT NOT DRINKING SO VODKA FOR ME TONIIIIGGHHHHTTTTTTT ALSO SUPER SURPRISED I'M STILL HERE AFTER ERIN'S BOOT BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT WOULD PUT ME ON THE BOTTOM EXCEPT IT DIDN'T, BECAUSE I'VE GOT IMMUNITYYYYYYYYYYYY

My chances of winning this game are basically 0 if Teddy stays. And of course he's gonna win immunity and ONCE AGAIN I have to be the one to fuck someone over. At this point it would be safer to take him out at final four, but I need a way to know he won't have immunity. I can't talk him out of winning this cause he'll be suspicious but....maybe he already is.  

The idol makes this more complicated...If I let Teddy win I could regroup at 4 and maybe make something work then. Sami is gonna be upset. I'm really mad at myself that I let Teddy hide behind me so much, and still be in a position to take credit for the moves.  Which he will, and since he hasn't been an asshole, and I have...kill me  I shouldn't lose this season to Teddy, but I'm gonna.

So I didn't even try at the challenge because my internet is extreeeemely slow so rip me.

But I don't thinkkkk they'll vote me out.. don't think. I'm at such a weird place right now because I'm gunna be so busy with this trip to Europe I'm going on tomorrow morning (Only Teddy and the hosts know) . So I mean I won't be furious if I'm voted off. But at the same time, i've come so far it would suck to lose now! But we'll see. Really I think since Teddy and I are so close, I'll be totally fine if I wanna be. Plus I still got this extra vote that may or may not be useful.. idkk.

So since I won't have my laptop after tonight this will likely be my last confessional!! It's been a slice :)

oooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. So close yet so far. Honestly, if I had tried as hard as I did in the last two hours during the day today, I probably could have won. However, I really needed to get some freelance work done today on my day off from day job and had to make a decision. It was tough, but at least I got close. Plus, it just really frustrated me that Carly did not put any effort forth whatsoever. It wasn't a difficult challenge, just not a fun one. I didn't want to vote her out, but the arrogance of not even bothering to try at final five is enough to sway me to vote in her direction. Pris at least gave a super valiant effort, even after she was disqualified. Props to Teddy for winning, especially because he kiiiind of really needed it. Out of the remaining five of us, he's the biggest threat to win and that scares me a little. We'll see how everything shakes down tomorrow.

K wait one more confessional just because I think it's note worthy.

I said all these little goodbyes today, because I'm off to London in the morning, including to my boyfriend.

And literally, the most romantic thing I heard all day was from Teddy. And it was game talk.

[9:27 PM] Teddy: i refuse to lose you tbh

I'm ded. #mylife

ok... so... i am either siding with lydia or with teddy and this is almost hard... like i thought lydia was not keeping thaaat much from me and like teddy he feels trustworthy.... plus i dont wanna do what wes did to lydia in port royal omg x____x

teddy said if he wins immunity he'd take me and opened my eyes a bit to lydia's game playing..

-

lydia is telling me one thing and teddy is telling me another and what is the point of lying to me!! I can't do anything lmao

Audio Recording

So Carly got medically evacuated and tbh, I’m fucked. FUCKING HANGMAN. I know I could beat either of these two in several different challenges, but HANGMAN. Seeing how smug Lydia is while competing is pissing me off too. I know she’s going to cut me, I can feel it. I know I’ve said in past confessionals that I feel like she could win, but like after thinking about it more, she really can’t. Her jury management was piss poor and like, idk. I’m trying my best, but its not looking good. She may be the one to cut me, but she’s going to bleed out if she does. This is my fault for being so loyal to her ass. Fuck.

Am I still allowed to make confessionals? Well fuck it, I am. I think it's pretty clear that I'm not going to win, and...I'm not sure if that's what I'm upset about it or if those jury speeches just made me reflect a little more realistically on the game. A big one is why was I playing so hard? And to be honest, I don't know. Like the second that I had five people telling me I was there number one, I was fucked. I knew that I was fucked, so why did I keep trying? I couldn't have gone through this game without upsetting really hurt some of those people, it was impossible. But my morals got confused cause why is it okay to hurt some but not okay to hurt others? My logic was to try and own the game I played, but clearly that is not a big concern of the jury.

Honestly, Erin, Sami, and Teddy probably deserve to win over me.  I don't think Pris does, but I can't blame the jury for thinking that.  It's so awkward having to confront the people who I actually hurt in this context because it all feels so fake.  No matter what I say, I'm asking for something from them, and I clearly have no right to be asking.  But I also don't feel right begging for forgiveness over a game.

I think I got hyper focused on winning, and forgot that I didn't really stand much of a chance from the beginning. I should have taken Teddy, because it's not worth it.  Erin is right, it's really not. The second I sent that vote in I felt like I made the wrong choice, and then these past few days have just been proving that.  This season would be much more valid with him as the winner. I'm not proud of this game, and I'm not really sure what's going to happen after this...

Jury is more fun. Now I know.

my last confessional: i am glad this season is less than 2 hours away from being over. thank you laure and wes for a lovely season. i can finally stop being anxious!!!😲

(Final 5)

(After Immunity Final 5)

[survivor-riau]

Episode 14: Lol you mad? - Carly ?

The personal answers to touchy subjects:

First of all, praise The Lord that Teddy or I didn't go out. He played his special power just to make sure, which he actually didn't even have to. Erin surprisingly didn't go after me or any of us.. which is like what. Maybe she was seeing if we'd get nervous and play something, to test what we thought of her/knew. So.. idk. Now I really have no clue what she's thinking. All I know is, literally she can't win this challenge. BUT IT'S TOUCHY SUBJECTS. It's so up in the air. But she's quite smart and probably good at this too. My bet it that it'll be another tie, and then erin will win that tie like she does .And it'll suck. I won this game last season though! I had an advantage, but still. So I have a shot lol. Maybeee.

I'm not sure whether to be proud of the fact that I did well at Touchy Subjects or not. On one hand, I have my pulse on how other people feel for the most part, which I guess makes me somewhat perceptive, even though I feel like I do nothing except talk to Lydia and our alliance of six. On the other, I felt super, super mean actually completing the challenge and dreaded every second of it!! It was better than a flash game though, that's for sure.

Here we go again, I don't know why I'm being dubbed a villain AGAIN. I didn't see what I did in Egypt to earn me that title (I legit never lied), and I don't see it here either. How am I a villain if I played my idol (WHEN I WAS ALREADY SAFE) IN ORDER TO SAVE THE REST OF MY ALLIANCE?!?! I DONT GET IT UGH.

Hi I hate touchy subjects. Teddy sent me a screen shot of Erin upset that I said her name a lot. Like I really meant nothing by any of my answers. Stupid. Now she has more reason to not be a fan of me cooooool. And I hate making people feel baaaaad.

I shit you not Catherine is lowkey trying to put me ANOTHER FUCKING ALLIANCE.  It if final 8, how the fuck do people want me in 3 separate alliances? What the fuck do I do? This vote is going to destroy me.

I need Erin gone, and I know it's just a game.  But it is so fucked up because I have the idol that she found, and we've gotten close.  I don't really respect her as a strategist to be honest, and I'm not afraid to say that she hasn't done much besides be good at challenges.  But she will win the game, and...I love her, but not enough to give this up.  I know her well enough to know that she will be upset over this move, very upset.  If I have to vote out her AND Sami, it will make any case for me to win really hard to plead to a jury.  Two people who trusted me enough to hold their idols would be voted out by me.  It's just not cool, it's too much...

But I can't let Erin stay in the game, she's too good... I don't know if this game is worth being hated over, and while I was good at not being bitter, I've seen some shocking examples in other games of most people here lacking that ability.

I really needed them to do this move without involving me, but...they did and I'm screwed.  And Teddy is being a goddamn baby about it, scared shitless to vote out the girl WHO WANTED TO VOTE HIM OUT NEXT ANYWAYS. Whatever happened in Spain left some seriously fucking damage on him, but it makes way more sense for me to bitch out than it does for him.

i take back every bad thing i ever said about pris amen

WOWOWOWOWOWWOW. I chose NOT to vote for Erin because I really like her and didn't want to put her name down to continue with everyone's thinking that we were super duper tight. I knew what the plan was but specifically chose not to go with it, for the sake of Lydia and I and for my game as a whole.

Out of absolutely no where, Carly messages me literally saying, "Lol you mad?"

WHAT. Whaaaaaaaatttttt. I can't even fathom. I've never had any ill will towards her whaaaatsoever and welp, I sure do now. My mind is blown. Out of no where. I'm not sure if she's actually familiar with Survivor or not, but last time I checked that was not how you gained jury votes.

One last thing I wanted to mention as my time as a Tumblr survivor player comes to an end...

I don't consider myself a villain. In both of the games I played I never lied, okay in Riau I may have fibbed, but nothing as to the extreme of being dubbed villainous. I don't think I was mean to others. I wasn't a cut throat player. In Egypt I had no power. I barely did in Riau either. In Riau I won 4 individual challenges (close to 5), found an idol (got the board right 4 times though), play my idol at the right time to ensure the safety of my ENTIRE alliance. As far as I'm concerned. That makes me a fucking hero. If I'm a villain because I say what's on my mind or because I'm sassy then fine, but that's my personality, not my gameplay. And if I ever play in an HvV season and I'm put on the villains tribe, then I'll be the most heroic villain on that tribe, and we all remember what happened last time a villain was called a hero.....

(Sandra, duh).

[survivor-riau]

Episode 13: I’m not lying when I said I’m a huge fan of Winnie the Pooh - Josh

So I knew that the minority alliance, that is now just the three lasting premades, were getting desperate.  But I am pretty sure they faked screenshots of a conversation Erin had with Shannon to try and get people to flip.  It's annoying cause not only is it a dirty move, but also cause...it's just not realistic.

I saw the screenshots, and the reason I'm pretty sure they are fake is because it's basically Erin going to Shannon and saying 'Hey.  I think Carly is going to flip on me and want to work with you and your friends.  She's gonna wanna take out your target (aka me), and will totally help you get further in the game.  Wouldn't it be sweet if instead, you vote her out right now and then I'll vote you out right after?  ps. she has an idol." 

Now the chances of that conversation being legit are very very slim, if they are, Erin is a fucking idiot.  It reminded me of all those aggressive, lengthy, messes of nonsense that Daniel would send.  And I don't think Erin would do that without telling me.  If that's a move she wanted to make, she would need numbers, and she never even hinted at it to me.  She's told me the opposite actually.  We were worried about Carly flipping, and all the ammo they had for that was from me (my bad).  So Erin putting herself out there makes no sense.  I don't believe it. I'm calling bullshit.  They are literally digging her grave, so why would she pick up a shovel and start helping?

But, Pris and Carly both have it and I don't have enough trust with them to tell them it's fake.  Also...Erin shouldn't go right now, but she needs to go before final seven, so I think I just have to let this happen. If she wins immunity, Carly might wanna go for me, but Teddy is camped out really comfortably in her ear and I think my goal here to go get through this without having to actually vote Erin.  

Pris literally deleted me on Skype???????? I actually don't even know what I did to make her want to delete me? I mentioned in the tribe chat that Erin is almost definitely going to win unless someone takes her out. I didn't even remotely say anything personal to anyone or attack anyone at all. Honestly, if Pris is sensitive enough to delete me on Skype for TALKING ABOUT THE GAME then she isn't someone I'd even remotely be interested in working with anyway. *end rant*

Erin, you got touched by a fucking angel, girl! I can't say I'm upset, I mean it's good and it's bad.  I really didn't want her to go this early, but...that also means I probably can't slip through this without voting for Erin myself.  And I can't blindside Erin AND Sami, because Sami knows I have both idols so...it's awkward. I sorta tested the waters with Sami about who she wanted at the end, and I got shut down really quick so I need to think of something else.

Basically my social game is some shit and I'm spread way too thin.  One of the only reasons I talk to people now is to try and guess how bitter they are going to be if I vote them out. I was actively trying to stay out of this anti-Erin alliance and I somehow got put in the chat! So thanks Pris!

-

Something really doesn't feel right about this vote...

I might be making this up in my head, but I haven't been around a lot lately, which might have made people sorta suspicious of me.  I'm not sure...I don't like the way Josh is talking to me right now, and Erin is being really sketchy.  If I get blindsided with two fucking idols...I wish no one knew that I had two fucking idols.  Paranoia is a disease, and Josh helped spread it.  Fuck...

Me being fake: “Yas slay, sis #challengekween”

How I feel on the inside: wants a coconut to knock her ass out so I can actually win something

Final words @ all of them

[survivor-riau]

Episode 12: I hope you step on a Lego brick - Pris

SAPPHIRE SIX LIVES ANOTHER DAY also lmao @ Daniel you're too obvious

Talking to Daniel exhausting. Pretending to care is exhausting. Biting my tongue when he tried to call everyone out in my alliance was exhausting. He's like that crackhead on the train that you hope won't talk to you, but they just keep looking at you and you know they want to say something. Another thing, WHY DOES IT ALWAYS SOUND LIKE HE'S YELLING AT ME WHENEVER HE TALKS?!?!? I hate that. I also think it's funny that he thinks I'm at the bottom of this alliance....its...cute. If you actually wanted to have a shot in this game you shouldn't have played an entire season's game pre merge. Vaya con dios.

I'm not gonna lie when I say I can't stand another second with these people. Carly...dosent talk. Erin's full of lies, so is Teddy. Sami is missing most of the time and Pris...tbh where even is Pris. Call me clique-y but the only people I can stand are the people in the underdogs alliance and probably the only ones I do plan on talking to afterwards. I'm gonna try and get Carly or Pris to flip and vote out Erin because we just need one vote for Erin to be gone. I'm laughing so much at Carly's self vote LMFAO it bought us time. Also am I the only one self aware enough to know that Lydia's NOT gonna flip at all to our side? That's why I didnt even bother talking to her...Plan after this tribal? Win every damn immunity challenge.

Holy shit. What did I do?

I didn't enjoy being fake with Daniel, but if you serve me stale ass tea, it's getting handed right back to you.  He was fake with me, and I had to do it back to get him to wrongly play his idol while covering my bases.  And I ain't even feel that bad cause it worked! Even if they had played the idol for the right person, I needed to do it so I would know who to protect to keep my numbers together.  Because the fact is that Daniel never trusted me.  He never wanted me near the end and I know it.

I went out of the way to keep from talking to Josh, Catherine and Shannon about the vote because I didn't want to have to lie to them unnecessarily.  But then my morning starts off with Daniel and his bitter ass, acting like I killed his goldfish instead of voting out his friend.  Maybe I did hurt my social game, but it's not ruined.  He had me in a situation where I was going to severely piss off 5 people no matter which way I went.  And this way, I got to get rid of an idol and make sure that I knew where both of the others are; one in each of my pockets.

Daniel plays on emotion and fear, and I don't like it.  He was getting super personal in this rant this morning, yelling about how I'm a sociopath, and how I betrayed my best friend and crying about having his feelings hurt. Like shit, Daniel, clearly you didn't trust me that much BECAUSE YOU PLAYED AN IDOL. And you weren't that honest BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T HAVE ONE. That on top of tons of lies I caught him in, so I really don't know how to keep pretending that he's a good liar and had me fooled.  He didn't.  I seriously thought after this vote I would stop getting Daniel's rants but fuck, they're still coming.

Why should I feel bad when he did literally THE SAME thing last vote.  Or when Catherine and Shannon flipped on their alliance FOR LITERALLY NO REASON.  Ya'll didn't play good games, so don't bitch when I outwit you.

m not sure why Daniel is this mad at me when he wasn't that mad at Teddy.  But my only thought is that he really does think I have a shot of winning this game, and he wants to ruin that.  Or he expected Teddy to be good, but didn't see me having a mind of my own.  But screw you, I do.  So lets go Daniel, talk shit keep it up.  I've played better than you, and I'm not afraid to admit that at this point.  He wants a rival, he's got one.  

It's 20 mins before the live auction and I still dont see Catherine and Shannon......................................wyd seriously D;

-

I honestly can't believe I bought a fucking rat for $500. What the fuck am I supposed to do with Rats in this game lmao. It's even harder when we know we're in the minority, have one member missing and we got powerless necklaces and rats in the auction.    

AUCTION! I love the auction! This is my first time actually getting to participate in one and it was a blast.

A.) My buddies got secret shit that will be exciting to find out how it goes down

B.) I got surf and turf and a bottle of wine (I poured myself an actual glass to celebrate), oh and uh also a 20% score boost in the next challenge to boot!

C.) I'll be getting a letter! I don't know who it will be from or anything of that sort but I can't wait!!

YAY WINE

Auction was fun. The only one I'm worried about was Shannon's. I thought for sure she would have bought herself out of the auction. I wanted to bid on it but Lydia and Teddy told me not to. Ugh. Also that last tribal was stressful af. I'm happy to still be here. I can't lie, I'm shocked too. They had a whole extra day to flip one person. My alliance has my back which is awesome, but how long will that last? Speaking of, I know Lydia. I know she wants to take me out at either final 6 or 5. I gotta get to Teddy and make a final 2/3 asap. (Not like I think anyone will make a final deal with me at this point bc Elliott said I'm winning this game if I 'coast' there....newsflash I'm playing the game and busting my ass, I'm not coasting one bit) I'm sorry Lydia but I know if I wait too long you'll get me out before I can get you. Because her social game is on point, I worry she may have Pris, Carly and Sami over me. Which is probably true. Its too early to flip obviously. I just hope I stay here long enough to be the one to do it.

I won a 10% advantage in an immunity which is fine. At least its positive, right? I can use up until final 5 so I'll use it when I feel the need to.

Catherine said in last tribal that this season would be boring and the audience would hate it. I mean, where have you been honey? Granted you hate it because you're in the minority, but in my opinion we would be making great TV. The Trevor blindside, Kyra's med-evac, Tyler's 'walking,' My Sapphire idol play, Daniel's flushed idol, even poor Bridget's blindside. It may not be going in your favor Cat, but its one hell of a season so far.

Speaking of Catherine. I'd like to keep her around. While Daniel is annoying af and keeps freaking out and Trevor's constantly in his ear, he's a target before I am to my alliance. Again, I'm thinking like this is Big Brother, but why not? If it works, who cares what game we're playing?

The Elliott vote was planned too. Props to Lydia for getting an "In" with that side and convincing them she's flipping. I'm SHOCKED no one thinks were together. Absolutely shocked. I planted the seed to Elliott that we're voting Daniel and we got that sucker flushed. Pour me a glass of wine, cause I'll drink to that!

I.....AM LIVING FOR THIS. CATHERINE AND DANIEL WENT AWF IN THE CHAT AND I'M STILL RECOVERING

So much for that final 2/3 deal I wanted to make...now who will make one with me? God noone....

oh god i literally came into this game to make friends and now people are getting dramatic and crazy and personal with others and it is not a fun time oh god oh no oh no oh noooooo

....this isnt what I wanted to happen...I am not a...mean person I swear.............

daniel is like 12 and catherine is 13 and im laughing at how i ended up in a drama filled season again curse you wesley!!!!

ok another one

dear Daniel, how does it feel to be so childish in an online social game? to have your jimmies be so rustled? over getting outplayed? then to go on and call Lydia a sociopath when you know, actual murderers are, not people on the internet who lied to you. (hey, remember everyone lies on the internet, just a tip!) and also, for making Carly cry while she's at work, trying to help people and save lives. i bet you feel dumb. i hope you step on a lego brick.

sincerely, pris "ok next" diaz :)

Not gonna lie, am I expecting to be voted out at this tribal? Yes. I feel like voting Daniel out would be so obvious esp with Pris' vote but I don't feel safe at all I actually just think I'm getting voted out now if not, at the next tribal if I don't win immunity. Lydia talked to me this morning after what happened the day after (Daniel calling her a sociopath and called out the other side). I feel like she's this close to flipping but just wants Daniel out I dont know. Daniel and Shannon hatched up this amazing plan where Daniel pretended to be Erin and talked to Shannon and Shannon will show the receipts to Carly where "Erin" is talking to her about wanting Carly out. If this works. I'd legit cry. I'm hoping it does because it's like %100 sure that Daniel or me is going this tribal. I think it would make more sense to take out either me or Catherine because Shannon is now vulnerable without David and they would further weaken this "premade" alliance if Catherine and I are seperated. But after Daniel and Catherine's outburst on the chat, while me and Shannon remained quiet, I think I have a shot in staying. This could probably be my last confessional LOL. Also I'm still screaming at the fact that I bought a rat at the auction for $500. It's more expensive than my Playstation 4 wtf this better be designer quality.

[1:02:56 PM] Lydia: I know he (Daniel) can be really charming and convincing but he's just...not a nice dude

[1:03:26 PM] Carly: So convincing

[1:03:32 PM] Carly: Which sucks lol. 

[1:03:53 PM] Carly: I don't know how people can be such insanely good liars lol

Carly you are dumb as hell....

So Shannon approached me, with screenshots of Erin saying she wants Pris & I out. She wants to allign with Shannon and probably some others in that group, after this vote when we take out Daniel, to take out me. Because she said they think I have an idol (Which by the way, people are probably thinking this because I literally get questions about the idol every freaking tribal, please stahp making me look guilty) I DONT HAVE AN IDOL I WISH. So anyway, likely after this vote. I'm hoping Pris/Teddy and I can have a call to get our poop in a group, where we can then allign with Shannon and whoever else, to vote out Erin. Erin did I want to vote you out? Not reeeeeally. Like I quite like you. But this being super nice to me (Quote: Awhe Carly love yah girl!) And then talking to the enemy about me needing to go. That aint okay. And btw, where is this coming from repeatedly that I'm a blabber mouth?? Like literally, I've kept everyones secrets. I only tell Teddy crap.  So, idk why that keeps coming up. But in the screen shots Erin said that to Shannon. It's so annoying. It isn't the rep I wanted, so I didn't do it. But, I'm still getting that rep. Weird. All I did was help you get that idol and stick with you Erin, idk why you're doing this. Oh. Well.

I'msoscaredoftribalimsosaredoftribalimsoscaredsendhelp

And I'm talking to Pris after it (Assuming I survive who knows though) and telling her how Erin said she's comin for ussss. Hopefully that goes well.

[survivor-riau]

Episode 11: I'm gunna need a Xanax tonight - Erin

ANOTHER IDOL YAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Since I figured it out again (okay well I can't take all the credit, Teddy supplied Chronos, Lydia supplied Tyler Perry) I wish it was in my hands. But I'm happy Lydia has it over anyone else. Now would she play it on me ever? Don't know. I doubt it, but she's very into numbers so she may.

I'm just ecstatic there was another and its on our side and not the others woooo!!!

Now to decide to tell Teddy or not.....

-

Also, to get something clear, I had no idea they were voting for Sami last night. I don't remember if I mentioned that or not but apparently people have been questioning it. As for the revote I was kinda surprised to see it be 7-3. Its good for the "Sapphire Six" because that means 3 of their people voted one of their own. I'm curious who our 7th for David was though...

I can't believe how close me and Daniel were to getting that Idol. I feel so devastated, defeated, infuriated and hungry.

BUTTTTTTTTT Basically my planned worked because there wasn't a deadlock tie (RIP ME IF THAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED COULD YOU IMAGINE I'D CRY FOREVER) AANNNDDDDD they were forced to choose between their own and now Shannon is still in the game but 3 of her own went against her that must be AWKWARD. Shannon, babe, you're amazing and I'm sorry this is the way it went down, but its just a numbers game and your 4 was too dangerous. I hope you and David can appreciate the game move I had to make.

I wanted to make this a video confessional to show the emotion but my family is sleeping and it's 1AM urg. - So apparently the Spice Girls is no more but no one is telling me that .Teddy called me and had some pretty concrete evidence that Erin for sure is not being totally honest with me, which is obviously a red flag. And Lydia is constantly messaging me kinda asking what I know and stuff.. which is weird so she's likely paranoid by me. I mean who knows. But it does make sense that out of the Saphire 6, Teddy & Pris are bottom two cause they were add-ons, and then I was out of the girls group for a while, so I'm likely 4th. There we have, the bottom 3 of the group. Pretty lame. Also, Erin used that idol quite quickly after getting it, so I'm assuming she has another one under her belt to feel safe. Or Sami/Lydia have one.

So, on the call with Teddy we kinda decided to wait it out one more vote, and then it's move time. Or we're screwed. So we'll have to find a way to work with some of the others. Which sucks cause Shannon Catherine Daniel Josh they're all shaddy af, (I've never used af before LOOOL) but I mean clearly are those girls too. Ugh. Annoying. But I'm really thankful for Teddy and his honesty with me, I think we can do quite well together. And I'm pumped to make some moves.

Guess it's almost time for the Spice Girls to see how Scary "Scary Spice" can get. #boom.

I think it's funny that I am starting to write more confessionals the moment where I am in a bad position (and probably voted out soon).

I am kinda in a very low point in this game. I don't know if I will be a target, idk what's going to happen. And that is something I am not used to at all. I usually am in control, so to have this game kinda taken away from me is very hard to handle.

I love Survivor, and I respect the game. I think every twist is awesome and I just love the different things you can do. BUT IDK. This sucks honestly. I have no one I can talk to if I have issues IRL, which I could do with David or Trevor or Tyler. They're all gone. The only thing I can talk to is my idol at this point.

At the end of the day, I guess I just want my luck to change. I want something to happen so that I can have an opportunity to finally turn this game around in my favor.

Hopefully I can find a way.

-

It's almost 2AM and I have an exam tomorrow.

While studying for my exam, I came across a note that I wrote down. I don't remember why it was there, I am not sure why I was meant to see it.

"It is what it is = NOT ACCEPTABLE"

It was powerful. I related it immediately to this game. I may be down but I am not going to fucking give up just because a couple of people decided not to vote with me.

Lydia is a psycho. She is. But she's the right type of psycho that could be convinced to do something if told the right things. I am going to try as hard as I can to get her on my side.

If I don't win immunity, I am playing my idol. If I get the votes, yay. We are even 5-5. If I don't, I don't have an idol anymore. Now there's nothing that can make me a target. That's fine. I am not afraid anymore.

I am ready to battle. If I get out because of it, that's fine. But at least I went out trying, instead of sitting on my ass like some people are.

-

I just had a very long talk with Lydia about where she is. I offered her an alliance with the J/C/S + Elliott. She is basically trying to find every reason not to work with it. Fine. If she wants to be in an alliance on the bottom when they clearly don't trust her... then I'll watch her join me at Ponderosa.

-

I am channeling my inner Candace. I must go on an immunity streak to make these people regret making me feel the way I do. I am NOT a victim of this game. I won't allow myself to be. If I can't get a majority, they are just going to have to work around the fact that if I can win immunities, they can't take me out.     

Am I a bad person for being INCREDIBLY satisfied that Daniel lost by a mere 3 points to his own alliance bro Josh? Possibly. Especially because of the gif he posted with his score. And Josh is actually nice. And Daniel is not. This vote should be easyyy, but it won't be, I'm sure. There's idol spooks all about because we're up in the numbers. OI.

@ Daniel

What's going on? I don't fucking know. Idol paranoia is high. I'm worried as hell. If I go before Jury after all I did I'll be so upset. Like I'll never play this game again. I believe Carly and Pris are now 100% with us after my idol play. While we do have majority all they need to do is play an idol and one of us /me goes home. Ugh I used my idol while I was SAFE to ensure I wouldn't have to worry the next couple of votes and here I am...worrying. I'm gunna need a Xanax tonight.

-

Like I just want Daniel gone. I'll feel so much better but if he plays an idol and we vote him I'm done. If we don't vote him and he plays an idol then YAY (even though he stays in for however many freaking weeks longer). If we don't vote him and he doesn't play an idol then THIS VOTE WAS FOR NOTHING AND I WISH WE WOULD HAVE VOTED DANIEL UGHHGUHGUHGGHHUGUGHUGHGUGHUGUHUGHUGH.

This game is to annoying atm.

All because we don't know for sure who had an idol (Tyler? David? now Daniel?) on the guys tribe. So much paranoia I hate it. Why can't I just rummage through their bags like on real survivor?      

Basically we're screwed if we don't get Lydia to flip this tribal. If Lydia flips to our side now, we'll have the numbers and we can completely flip this game. I don't know how easy it will be, but I've been trying to talk to her more to gain some trust. I think we've actually had some pretty nice non-game related conversations. I genuinely do think she's really nice and I'm enjoying talking to her, but I'm also hoping that by talking to her more often she'd be more willing to flip to our side.

I could have played Daniel way better than I did. I just got lazy and tired today tbh.   I'm really worried that he's gonna play his idol and throw one vote my way like a little bitch.  Fuck. That'd be crazy. I need to chill.

[survivor-riau]

Episode 10: Receipts or get the fuck out of my Face - Lydia

My immunity was for fucking nothing.

lord help me i feel so bad voting out bridget that it might cost us our friendship. i am legit shedding tears as a type this. that shows yall how much i really feel bad. god

I am so fucking livid. I would completely understand voting me out if it hadn't been a group of friends voting for me. That completely defeats the purpose of a Survivor game. I have friends now in the community, too, but have enough respect for the game to put that aside.

Okay, but to be fair, if I was in the game with a close friend of mine, it's possible I'd do the same thing. It's just, something like this makes me not want to play another Tumblr Survivor game if the games are always going to be unfair like this.

If I come back, I don't even want to win. I just want some vengeance and  to fuck people's game up.

If Bridget doesn't come back....this is going to get ugly....but God these past few days would have made great TV.

-

Its a mad dash for the merge Idol right now....*cracks knuckles* Time to get to work.

And ugh RIP Bridget. </3

I made the merge!! Honestly, this was my major goal this season and I'm so thrilled I've gotten here, especially without hearing my name, too. It looks like the numbers could possibly be on our side as well, or at least not completely against us. As nervous as I am, I'm just as excited to know that I'm not going out premerge like I did in Olympics. Please god let us have a decent merged tribe name, that'd make it even better.

I AM THE IDOL HANGMAN QUEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNN. I have correctly guessed two extremely weird and obscure boards correctly and have FINALLY gotten an IDOL!!!! THIS SEASON FUCKING ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF EG*PT WHAT?!?!?!!

But...its a Sapphire Idol....which makes things so much more complicated and annoying

AND I HAD to tell Carly because she asked me to because she guessed O for me and my idea to lie to her would have been way too obvious and she could have figured it out easily. Carly I love you but you have a big mouth...please keep it shut.

AND I HAD to tell Teddy because he guessed for me too AND Lydia because obviously she's my #1.

SO NOW THREE FUCKING PEOPLE KNOW WHEN I NEVER WANTED ANYONE TO KNOW BUT UGH. At least its in my possession I guess....

I still wanna know how the actual hell I went from hating Teddy to him being my number one and a half....like he knows I have the idol what the fuck. 

There should just be hangman challenges because I just figured out the new board after only one letter was guessed. Not like there could be another idol but doesn't hurt to guess in <24 hours right? ;)

Ugh. I'm becoming too damn dangerous in this game.

Whatever. I'm going to bed with a smile on my face tonight. I made merge. I found the idol. I'm content. If that changes soon then fine. But for now...I'm happy.     

The tumblr survivor quiz challenge was STUPID and for NERDS

I loved that my suggestion was chosen for the merge tribe name....but when I submitted Ratu (Queen in Indonesian) I was thinking more along the lines of Ratu Erin tbh.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also I don't follow Tumblr Survivor. I wouldn't even know regular Survivor trivia or even TS trivia on my own season. I have a shit memory with stuff like this. This is gunna be a shit show....

wow I curse a lot.

Literally writing this while doing the quiz thing because I know nothing and I'm just answering random answers.

So, merge is a great thing. I missed the spice girls and clearly my alliance on the other tribe was NOT working out. Like idk what happened. Whatever.. fakers gunna fake.

Yeah idk what else to say. I wish Bridget made it back, Elliott wrote my name down once, he could very likely do it again!

     how am i still around i know jack shit about anything anyways things seem to be going cool but as always i am paranoid im next to go lmao but if i continue to act unassuming and unimportant no one will see me as a threat and i'll be kept around! ;)

when your alliance members are all asleep (probably)............................................where are they tbh i need them to be online now and talk about the vote!!

I actually had a premonition...I mean, dream today where I was the first merge boot of Riau. God, why is this game consuming me.

My talks with Daniel normally have me like...

I honestly don't know why I'm not into making confessionals lately. I mean, I actually have a lot of video confessionals, I just don't submit them or delete them because either I look horrible or another plan hatched and it's irrelevant now. I don't feel safe going into this tribal at all and it's because of that damn premonition of me being the first merge boot of Riau. I trust my NuKarimun alliance the most (Catherine, David, Shannon, Daniel) and we plan on working with Elliott in this vote to gain majority. I think he will work with us after all David tried to save him the round he went home plus I feel like his biggest ally was Trevor but he got blindsided by Erin, Lydia, Sami and Teddy so I would like to think that he's not going to work with them. Plus, Elliott asked me about the vote unlike most of the times where he just dosent talk to me. We have no solid plan right now as far as I know because we didn't talk about the vote today. Ughhh I'm so nervous. Teddy, Erin and Lydia talked to me today so props for the effort I guess. Mostly it's small talk. I don't know I just can't click with them. I have no idea where Carly and Pris are either but to assume the worst, they're probably working with Lydia. I am not ready to go just yet but ugh when I dream about Tumblr Survivor games, the one that DOES make sense usually are right :\\ It's like I have ESPN or something. Oh god please let this not be the end of me. Please let me wake up tomorrow with a solid plan already. Also throw in an idol or two in there also.

Ugh. this 6-6 split is just so...ugh. I'm so irritated at Lydia it's not even funny. I didn't even want to win this challenge. How the fuck did I? I've been in the TS community for TWO MONTHS. TWO FREAKING MONTHS AND I BEAT PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN HERE FOR YEARS. I don't know if I just got lucky or if everyone else was an idiot and didn't search in the wiki. My third immunity win, and I have an idol, and I orchestrated the Trevor blindside. Two months and my resume is pretty impressive. Too impressive. Too dangerous. I'm going next hands down. I run this game right now. I'm most likely going to have to play my idol ALREADY just to guarantee we have numbers. Which pisses me off because I have immunity. Why the fuck would I play the idol? I know I have to though I don't really have a choice. Just imagine how this is gunna look. 3 wins, Trevor, idol play, I'm like freaking Malcolm. How did I go to being Lydia's Wes to being her Rachel? (ily). I don't HAVE to be the one to play the idol. But let's face it, I'm not even playing to win at this point, I'm playing to be a badass.

what I think the alliances are

HA HA HA WHAT JUST HAPPENED I DON'T KNOW BUT I LOVE ERIN AND I WOULD HAVE LIKED SOME INKLING OF MY BEING VOTED OUT TONIGHT ALMOST BUT I DON'T ACTUALLY CARE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF ERIN.

This vote was ridiculous. At first I was really confused, but it's pretty clear that there was a plan now. I can't say I'm not surprised about the weird idol though, I was expecting to be able to happily sleep tonight because I thought I would finally be in a majority alliance after tonight, and now there's a 50% chance I'll be gone tomorrow. I don't really care which one of us goes, and I almost hope it's me, just because I know  my alliance is most likely going to be picked off after tonight. This is 100% definitely a complete game changer, and unless I want to pull some of my sick Kiwayu moves if I'll still be in it, I'm not going to last.  

Well....my plan worked :) The four will be separated, they will have to draw the lines in the sand, and we should be up 6-5. I really like Daniel as a person but now he seems to be coming for me so thats not cool bro. I had to lie to the Sapphire Six and say I wasn't allowed to tell them about my idol or what it did but lets face it, I just didn't want people knowing about it. They say the more the merrier, but not in this case. I hate not having the protection of the idol anymore though. Especially since I had immunity anyways, but hopefully this 6 alliance will keep me safe after what I did for them. I hate Egypt confessionals are out now too...I can tell Teddy is mad at me....its awkward now. Lydia is being somewhat rude to David now and I'm letting her do it...sorry girl but if it comes down to us, I need the jury votes. I really hope theres another idol and someone guesses a letter soon so I can try and get it again ugh. But seriously, wasn't this Tribal awesome? Survivor's a great game but its time to play some Big Brother. David and Shannon up for eviction, who will go home tomorrow night? Stay tuned to find out! "BUT FIRST....."

Soooo, I am not sure if I mentioned before that a few days ago I told Daniel that I voted for Teddy so that he would use it against me to Teddy, and possibly keep him away from the other girls.  And this dumb ho fell right into that trap. Ugh, I love it. I think he's used to controlling and manipulating people, that he doesn't see when it's just...not working.

But let's be real.  Daniel and his idol should have been out THIS round, but I couldn't get anyone to do it and...I might need to keep him around longer than I wanted...

So this is for sure a cool move on Erin and Teddy's part but doesn't this expose their entire game?? It almost seems silly.

Our alliance is going to be picked off one by one if we don't convince someone to flip. When the Sapphire Idol was played, two people of the opposite didn't vote for Josh. There was one vote for Shannon and one for David. I think their plan was to have most of the alliance vote for Josh, and for Erin to through one vote at David and have that vote be the one that gets him out. BUT, because one person wasn't filled in on the plan, the single vote for Shannon caused a tie.

I think that one vote for Shannon was probably Lydia. I'm trying to convince Lydia that her alliance is trying to throw her under the bus as the mastermind of that plan. If I can convince her that her alliance has turned against her or is trying to use her as a scapegoat, we might be able to flip her over to our side and regain the numbers.

We're already on the bottom, it can't hurt to try.

Hey peoples. It's Labor Day, and tribal council happened last night. Erin played her Sapphire Idol and David went home the next day in the tiebreaker.

David leaving is kinda the last straw for me. All of my allies are gone. I have no one left who I have a deal with. I am by myself and it honestly sucks so much. 

I loved playing this game. I still do love playing this game. But, I met amazing people like David, Tyler, Trevor. They made this game fun. We always talked not just about the game. We talked about our lives. So, to lose all of those people in this game really sucks.

  I don't have any moves anymore. I had a lot going for me, and this tribal was kinda the moment where I felt like I was going to win, or I was going to go home next. Obviously things didn't work out, even when we had majority.

I hope I can get Lydia to flip and work with me. I told her a bunch of lies about Erin, some true, some false. If Lydia is as emotional as I think, then lol, I have majority.

The only good thing about David going means that I honestly think I can be the leader of this new alliance. All the plans are basically mine at this point. Is that bad? No. Is that good? No. I just know that whatever decisions come from our alliance, it's all me. And that's fine.

At the end of the day, I am going to work my ass off. I won't give up. It just isn't really that fun for me anymore. I want to win so I can shove it in everyone's faces that thought I didn't know how to play by myself. I want to win to prove that I am a player. I don't want to be an embarrassment again.       

[survivor-riau]

Episode 9: I'm Supposed to be Reading Lord of the Flies - David

I'm shaking right now. I can't believe we just pulled that off and I am SO thrilled that we did (but to be perfectly honest, even more thrilled that my name never came up as a possibility for this vote anyway). Trevor's reasons for me to vote for Erin was because Karimun was picking off guys and he wanted to go into the merge with numbers. I'm not sure if I've told him this or not, but uh...I'm a girl? Why would I vote off Erin if it was better for you and hurt my chances???? I mean, he did post the Morgan gif last night so he couldn't say he didn't see it coming, right?

You better be fucking scared. Because I'm coming back. And I will tear you apart.

Quick confessional! Nothing really happened, but I do feel slightly guilty because I bitched so much about being one of the only people to do something last challenge, and then I wasn't around for the majority of this one... rip. Sorry guys!

Secondly, I'm surprised Trevor was voted out. And I also think Erin is full of shit. She's been saying this whole time that her and Teddy were/are on very bad terms. They never liked each other, blah blah blah. And maybe that's true, maybe they didn't get along in Egypt. But when Teddy picked her first during the tribe swap, I thought it seemed slightly suspicious. But prior connections, so who knows. I casually mentioned to her when she was going to tribal that hopefully "her ties with Teddy" will keep her safe. To which she responded doubtfully, that her and Teddy have never liked each other.

Well lo and behold, there were two votes for Erin, four votes Trevor. Assuming Tyler and Trevor voted together, Teddy voted with the girls. Mmhmmm whatever you say, Erin.

I'm also just suspicious of everyone so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lastly, I'm rolling my eyes because individual immunity, double tribal... You know David is going to win, and then we'll probably merge, and then he'll probably slay us in challenges. Like, why didn't you guys listen to me last tribal? Just saying. AND since Trevor was just voted out, that means he probably didn't have the idol (unless he really didn't think he was going home), which means it's definitely possible David has an idol. Like.. What. The. Fuck.

OH. MY. GOD. WE DID IT. WE REALLY PULLED THIS BLINDSIDE OFF. I FINALLY GOT TO ORCHESTRATE A MOVE IN TUMBLR SURVIVOR IM SO HAPPY.

I was absolutely shaking after that final vote was read. My smile was the biggest its been in a while. Believe me I would have worked with you Trevor, but I knew you and your boy toy were gunning for me so you had to go. This had nothing to do with Rachel from PR btw... Even though that was my Voting Confessional don't think thats the reason I got you out. It didn't add to it one bit. (I did it for flare tbh). I wish you could've stayed longer and we could've played together but unfortunately we had no choice. If we went Tyler you never would've trusted us after. Plus you made it known you talk to a lot of people on the other tribe as it is. No hard feelings, I hope we can be friends after this.

I guess Teddy and I are aligned now for real this time...every one from Egypt is probably so confused.

I hate that we didn't merge at 13 I was hoping to make it finally...and now its a double tribal ugh. Gotta count these potatoes to save my damn life...and to make sure Tyler doesn't win it.

it seems like with the double tribal council shannon and i are going to have to pick a side and show where our loyalties lie in the game i have plans to stay with the #kiwapagos alliance. i hope shannon feels the same.

This is too much for me to handle in one night. Who would have thought the Blindside backlash would be this freaking bad?

So I've just found out that apparently everyone in the whole game is gunning for my alliance. They're going to attempt to lure Shannon and I in with an all girls alliance to pick off the guys.

With Daniel on our tribe now, I feel a little bit safer. I generally feel pretty safe going into the double tribal council because I have two alliances that still want my vote. My alliance seems to be a target for everyone, but I think most people want the guys out in the alliance over Shannon and I. If everything goes to plan, we should be able to vote out Pris tomorrow night.

I'm extremely annoyed that the girls on my previous tribe (now on Bintan) would all target my alliance without even talking to me. Since the tribes have swapped, none of the girls from my previous tribe have even attempted to talk to me. If they're going to try to lure me back into an all girls alliance, you'd think they'd try to get closer to me, rather than just ignore me and attempt to use me when its convenient for them.

i'm supposed to be reading lord of the flies but instead i'm counting potatoes

Daniel is such a bad liar! Stop playing this 'I don't have anybody card' when I know you are in two alliances, and you don't even really fucking hide it.  Stop with this 'I'm in danger' shit, when you're probably chillin. I know you're not on my side, I know you're a little mad, I know you're gonna hold it against me. I'm not factoring you into my plan, you're a fucking lie.

I can't even play dumb with him cause it's just so irritating. He says the same things over and over looking for one specific answer.  I think he thinks it's going to confuse me and make me say something I shouldn't, but it mostly makes me wanna tell him to shut the fuck up.  Like he's a really nice dude, but don't try to mist me. It was so awkward.  It really doesn't benefit me to go against him, but I know he's putting all the credit on the Trevor blindside on me, and I'm holding true to my opinion that Trevor is the blame for the Trevor blindside.  The amount of effort I had to put into that to make people do it was so minimal, that him probably seeing me as some huge threat now is annoying. Like I didn't even get to play, I do one little thing, and fuck me.

I sorta see why, but also like...I'm the one who didn't flip so I was kinda hoping that Teddy would get more heat than I would for this. If I get past this double tribal, I really don't think I'll get that much further then that. I told Teddy that I knew this was a risk, and that after this move I wanted to just sorta play dead for awhile, but I know Daniel has his eye on me and it just makes it all more difficult.

So, I get voted out (and we'll get to what led up to that in a minute) and I'm thinking "cool, finally a game with closure. I didn't get screwed and I'm voted out and gone." WRONG.

Instead of leaving the Tribal Council set, I'm not whisked away to the medical team for evaluation, but instead, taken to another island.....Redemption Fucking Island. Connor is there which worries me because he posted some pretty decent scores during his time in the game. THANKFULLY I've been hiding my full potential in the challenges so far, so I will have the underestimation factor working in my favor.

We get the challenge and I feel my score is pretty decent, but that didn't matter because Connor didn't feel like submitting a score. So yay. One duel down, lord only knows how many more to go.

So I'm eagerly awaiting my next challenger, and unfortunately it's Trevor. We were aligned in the game and it sucks seeing him voted out, and it sucks more knowing I'm going to have to eliminate him from Redemption Island. Well, some more fuckery ensues, because when it comes to me returning to the game, fuckery seems to follow me. Apparently, Trevor leaked the Redemption twist to some players, thus resulting in his removal from the game. So yay? Another duel down? And now only one to go?!?!?!

BUUUUUUUUUT....... Trevor totally fucked me over. Prior to his leak, the twist was a secret. No one know I was still competing, no one knew someone would return to the game. But now, they know I'm here, and they know someone will return. Which means that no matter who comes back from Redemption, they will just be voted right back out because the in game players have time to ensure that. Also, now the in game players know someone will get to come back and both tribes have tribal, both tribes are likely to just vote out their strongest player so that that person can win Redemption Island and come right back in.

So, I was excited about being able to return to the game and still have a shot at winning, but now that the twist was leaked, my only hope is to just increase my placement. It was nice having a fair shot for a while.

But, a brief glimpse into my game prior to my vote off. Coming into the game, I only know Maddie and Josh from Bonin (and Josh voted me off there) and Teddy. Josh and Teddy I competed against in RRN's The Amazing Race (in which I won, so that put a target on me from them two). I tried to lay really low because a reason for my vote out in Bonin was apparently my social game. So I toned it down and didn't talk with any of the girls. I also didn't want word to get back to the boys that I was strategizing with the girls. The first boy Tribal happened and it was the 6-5 vote for Pat. The only thing I was told was to vote for Fran so I did. Apparently Pat was the driving force behind that and the other guys didn't like him calling the shots. So Pat went. Apparently Fran was still a target and some rumor started going around that Daniel and I were in an alliance with Fran. Since I had talked to NO BOYS I was shocked to hear there was talk of me in an alliance. but that brought Daniel and I together and we started looking out for each other.

Owen started Nancy Drew-ing around and it really annoyed people, cause like, shady people want to be able to do shady things without being called out. So he was the next clear target to go. Then the third boy tribal happened.

Word was either Teddy or I had the idol (which David has it) so David, Josh, Connor, Fran, and Daniel were going to split the votes between Teddy and I 3-2. Thankfully Daniel was still looking out for me, and I had built a relationship with Trevor that was obviously coming in handy at this point. Trevor and Daniel got a plan together for us to vote out Connor (a strong threat). Even though Daniel was still going to vote Teddy (to ensure Teddy went home over me if Connor played the idol), Tyler, Trevor, Teddy, and myself voted Connor leading to Connor being voted out.

Then the swap happened and I managed to get on the tribe with the premade. So I knew immediately I was going to be the next voted out if we lost, and we did, and I was voted out. So here I am on Redemption facing my inevitable elimination when I return to the game (cause I'm gonna win the next duel for sure).

I cant believe I went to hating Teddy's guts to the point of wanting to quit because we were cast together again, to absolutely loving the kid. I never would believe it if God himself came down from the heavens and prophesied it.

I think I may have fucked up. I know the smartest thing to do is stick with numbers, especially right before merge. But a large part of me doesn't want to get rid of Daniel just because their numbers are down so low, and why not take out a bigger threat (i.e. Shannon)?

So I messaged Catherine, just to see where her head was at, and was like "Aw, I feel kind of bad for Daniel. Like, I know we have to vote him out but he's so desperate right now :/" And Catherine completely saw through that, so then I had to backtrack and I'm not sure if it worked.

I'm just scared because we've been seeing so many people get voted out for "playing both sides." I'm worried I just put a target on my back. But Catherine is adamant about numbers, so if she is suspicious of me, I'm hoping she's not going to do anything about it now.

Okay fuck this vote. I knew that voting out Trevor was going to be difficult, but I didn't expect it to be this dramatic.  Tyler is so pissed, and I'm pretty sure he wants to vote me out more as revenge than anything else.

But I still have to stand by that choice.  If I had taken out Teddy like I had considered, I'd still be voting out a friend which sucks, and at this tribal we are at now I would still have to pick between alliances, and make an enemy. I was between two groups of two, and Teddy off to the side, and my goal right now is just to keep one group intact.  I felt more included and involved with Erin and Sami, and could see more opportunity for us after the merge, so...obviously I picked them.

Tyler is threatening an idol, and I'm not sure if he's being blunt, using reverse psychology or possibly reverse-reverse psychology. You never fucking know, but he somehow mysteriously found out that Trevor told me that he has the idol, only the last I heard from Trevor is that he had given it to Daniel.  I'm sure Daniel would give it back if Tyler needed it so...that means we had to come up with a separate plan.  And once again, I am pretty much fucked with whatever choice I make.

Sami and Erin want me to throw my vote at Teddy, Teddy wants me to throw my vote at Sami.  Honestly, the situation with Trevor has made me really nervous about voting out my close friend again, but also...my goal here is to keep one of my alliances intact, and if I throw a vote at Sami, I'm basically outing my connection to Teddy and then Erin will be mad as hell.  I need Erin.  I feel like Teddy would see the situation I am in, and he has got to be smart enough to know that it's the better decision.  If I vote Sami, and there is a tie between us two, I really question if Erin would vote to keep me RIGHT after I lied to her.  And then if I get voted out, come back from RI, I've still lost those allies.  Lets not fucking forget, Sami knows I have the idol, so even if Erin does keep me and Sami goes to RI and comes back, she could blow up my game.  I know I risk that with Teddy too, but I honestly think there is less of a risk with him wanting to ruin me.  So Teddy is basically expecting me to make a suicidal strategic move, that might lead to me being voted out, to save him.  If I vote Sami it's not like him or I would make it much further than that vote anyways.  Not with Erin and Tyler aware of us, and both backstabbed. And, if I vote Teddy and he goes to RI, I think he has somewhat of a chance to get back in the game.  So then I would just have to trust that he saw why I did it, respects the choice, and doesn't wanna kill me.  I'm sorta terrified though, cause I feel like Teddy and Erin are both bears I don't wanna poke and piss off, but I'm being forced to pick which one...They both scare me...

Is this even still before the merge? What the fuck...Honestly, I am playing way too hard and I hate it.  It's not what I wanted at all, but the tribe swap really put me in this sorta unavoidable situation.  The only vote I had to spare that wouldn't be viewed as 'a big move' was on Fran.  So even if I do vote Teddy, I don't have very good feelings about the future of my game. I just want to get through this tribal while keeping my idol.

Tyler's saying he has an idol. I 90% don't believe him. He's not an idiot so I think he planned this whole thing where he didn't submit for the challenge to make it appear like he didn't care because he's 'safe either way.' Its not like I'm gunna not vote for him. So if he has an idol good for him. I like the kid. But his game is scary. And he can even come back in so I'll risk it. Worst goes to worst Teddy goes home after the revote. Not gunna lie I'd hate that. He's crucial to my game. And he's a cool guy. I fear come merge we will go from [being in the minority to] being the majority to being minority again. I don't like being in the minority. I was all of Egypt and its nice to be able to call the shots for once.

Lydia doesn't want me to act like I don't know she's voting Teddy. He'll never trust me again if he finds out I knew. Whether Tyler goes tonight or not Lydia is voting Teddy and he's gunna see that vote in tribal. He's gunna get mad or upset and want answers and if I say I had no idea what was going on he may still trust me and tell me everything.

Jesus, am I becoming a villain or what?

I hope Bridget is okay over there. And if she goes I hope she comes back in RI. Her and Carly still think its hardcore Girls v Guys and its so not that way over on Karimun. David/Shannon, Josh/Catherine are a solid 4 some. No doubt. All they need is Daniel and Bridget, Carly, Pris are on the outs.

Ugh merge is gunna suck.

[survivor-riau]

Episode 8: I’m Thinking About Backstabbing Every Number 1 I’ve Had - Lydia

So tribal was somethin. We all actually voted together which was cool. We have an odd kinda tribe I feel like there's not much individual messaging and strategizing. It's just kinda like well, girls are outbumbering the boys haaaaaa suckaaassss. And that's that. However the lovely Elliott decided to throw my name in there for God knows what reason. It sucks cause when a name gets wrote down at tribal, for any reason really, it seems to stick in peoples heads & they often use it again in the near future. Urg. Oh well. - I quite hope we win this challenge. Queen Shannon seems to have it in the bag as her score is in the billions. Bless her heart. I can't even seem to get in the millions. I'll keep tryin! - this confessional was wrote at 2am, after 2 hours of playing winter bells, so I really hope it makes some form of sense.

I'm pretty hyped for this winterbells challenge because me and David are slaying 8) a little spooked for what's going to happen next in the game though. I have a pretty solid thing with David, Catherine, and Josh, but me and Catherine don't want to make it obvious that we're going against the all girl alliance. If we go to tribal again before merge we miight be in trouble. Also, no one seems to want to be on our side, seeing as everyone wants me and David separated. There's also apparently an alliance on the other tribe that all want David out, so I'm not sure how we'll do if we do end up making it to merge without a number advantage. I wasn't expecting to get a double win with this season, I pretty much wanted to be remembered and play it differently than Kiwayu, which I feel like I have considering that all I ever hear about is me and David and how we need to go. I'll just always be hoping for a few more days in the game.

So Trevor just messaged me saying that my tribe is gonna win this challenge which is very true but I wanted to know why he thought that so when I asked him he said that no one on his tribe is good at winterbells and that "Shannon got 5 million in kiwayu so..." Why on Earth did he go through the eatyorice tag/shannon's blog to know exactly what her score was? I think he's obsessed with us.

Listennnnn Winterbells? Like do a fucking unbiased challenge, okay?  At least it was just reward but I lost one of my main allies Daniel!!!!  If it was me though I would have gone home for sure. Are tribe is down to 6 and most of us weak challenge players. We are for sure losing.

So, Laure's probably asleep because we hadnt had a statement for like, an hour and it's 8:00AM EST so that's my signal to go write a confessional. We're having an endurance challenge right now and the night shift's me, Shannon and Carly. It was a great bonding experience  and I got to actually talk to Carly but I'm ready to vote her out when we lose though lmao! Also the Amulet from Galapagos is back! What a nice throwback. David got it and abducted Daniel so I'm a little more confident about my position in this tribe now. Wes' Children Alliance + Daniel and the alliance I have with Bridget, what could go wrong right? I really hope that Bridget, Daniel and Catherine would still continue the momentum because as I write this, the score's 17-3 with us winning. If we end up losing, I'm gonna be so mad ugh I literally wasted this Sunday just to do this challenge and will come into a conclusion that the New Karimun tribe just can't do a team challenge lmfao. Also I researched how to voodoo someone to sleep and I think it worked because no one was awake in the Bintan tribe so me, Carly and Shannon racked up points and now we have this lead. Ugh I just hope we keep this up.

im tired when will we get a break when will the gods smile down on us

We failed miserably at this immunity challenge. It seems like everyone on the Karimun tribe never slept and with only Teddy and I around to compete we were doomed from the start. At least Daniel seems to think this will save him. I have no idea if we will vote off Sami or Erin. I don't want anyone to go. Can we merge already so I can stop focusing on my tribe mate's weak performance?

Basically everything Trevor said.

kinda thinking that bintan threw that immunity challenge??? i have no clue whats going on over there but i'm happy that i'm not a part of it.

This is such a hard vote. We have a great group of 6 here at Bintan and no one here deserves to go home this early when irrelavents like Carly and Pris are still in the game. This may be the hardest vote I've had to make in TS. The concencus right now is to send Erin home.  Sami was such an early boot in Olympics that she deserves a chance to play this game longer.  Teddy was also on the chopping block as he is very hard to read but we felt like he would stay loyal to us 100% at the merge.

This vote is...exciting. Also terrifying.

If Tyler and Trevor had told me to vote Teddy, I probably would have done it.  But if they wanna go after Sami and Erin, I really can't just let that happen.  This vote is complicated, and sort of relies on me lying to Trevor and Tyler, while convincing Erin and Sami that I'm not lying to them.

Because I am the one who is talking to everyone, I really wouldn't be surprised if I got blindsided.  OMG if Trevor plays an idol to blindside me with an idol it would be so fucking poetic I wouldn't even be mad! Especially because in this situation I'm really not betraying anyone I was actually aligned with in the game. I think I one time told Trevor I wouldn't vote him out and was met with awkward silence, so I'm gonna say that doesn't count.

Everyone is busy today, so this is a hard vote to pull together and honestly I'm scared to see what happens after tribal tonight if I'm still in.

-

I'm so nervous about this vote.  I think my main issue with this game is that I'm not even fucking sure who my number one ally is.  I really do believe that Sami, Erin, and Teddy would never want to vote for me, and if they do, they did a decent job fooling me.   Trevor is making this easier than I thought, because he's talking to everyone and being very aggressive about trying to collect votes.  He told me to talk to Sami, but he was grilling her like first thing this morning before I even had a shot to talk to her. We had to have a rushed call while we were both getting read to leave about what we would tell him.  Also he keeps talking about not wanting the guys to go down in numbers to the girls.  The logic he gave Sami and I for voting out Erin was basically 'this helps me, please and thank you.'  If you wanted to stick with Sami and I, why would he be worried about this? But as I'm saying this, I can't ignore that I am in a similar situation of having to talk to everyone, and I'm curious to see what'll happen. Losing Erin right now just isn't an option for me.

Teddy and I are cool now shockingly. I hope he doesn't hate me when the Egypt confessionals come out...which should be soon....ugh I dread that day.

Apparently Trevor and Tyler are a strong duo and both scare the shit out of me so that needs to be taken care of ASAP...which brings me to tonight's tribal...Hold on to your seats ladies and gentleman because oh boy this is gunna be a good one. 

Trevor thinks him and Tyler are running the show...which can only mean one thing...they can't be for much longer! They're targeting me tonight which I was upset to hear honestly. I thought they would go for Sami because Trevor thinks he "has me under his thumb."  I'm not stupid. Do you really think Lydia and Sami are gunna vote for me? One of three things are gunna happen tonight: Either I will go out 14th place two seasons in a row; we will go to rocks (and I'll be safe); or......Trevor...the God himself...will be gone. I'm so excited I can't wait.

Shocking how it all comes down to working with Teddy, my "nemesis" from Egypt....who woulda thunk it?

I know I have a habit of being paranoid.  But I usually make a list of reasons not to be confident before tribal because I feel like it's better luck to feel pure terror when going into a vote.

First, Erin was asking weird questions.  She was saying that she knew I wasn't 100% okay with voting Trevor, but couldn't really tell me what I did to make her think I wasn't 100%, it mostly felt like she was 100% trying to get receipts of it.

Second, I mention to Trevor that Sami hasn't responded to me in awhile, and then a minute later Sami magically responds once and then disappears again.

 Third, Trevor said 'I voted' and then then a minute later Erin said she was voting.

Now all of those things very sloppy moves so I'm convincing myself it's coincidence and that none of them would actually make these mistakes. But my palms are getting calmy and I wanna get this over with.

So today’s the day of us blindsiding Trevor and I kind of have mixed emotions about it. Like I know he doesn’t trust me, doesn’t want to work with me, and is telling over half the cast that I hate him or something??? But if he would’ve just stuck with Lydia and I, the three of us could’ve been a force to be reckoned with, but RIP. Even after all that though it’s not the easiest decision because Trevor and I promised each other early on that if either of us heard that the other was going that we would give them a head’s up. The thing is, he broke that deal because I know that The Three Stooges and Lydia (she was getting info for her and I) were on call last night and contemplating about who to get out next, Erin or myself. So to me, that breaks the grounds of whatever we said to one another especially because he has no loyalty to me at all anymore.

If everything goes to plan then, Lydia, Sami, Erin, and myself will all be voting out Trevor. I’m curious to see how Tyler reacts though, not going to lie. Either way, nobody can be mad at me for looking out for myself which is what this game is all about.

[survivor-riau]

Episode 7: Operation: Save my Goat - Trevor

Finally a fun challenge! I love searching through these old episodes to find the one that matches the gif. Knowing our luck though this will probably just be a reward challenge. I really like everyone on my tribe right now (which is a first). It would be interesting to see who Karimun votes out if they lose.

Okay, but actually, who the fuck are my tribe mates? I absolutely hate group challenges/group projects exactly for this reason. There's always a diffusion of responsibility that people assume someone else is going to fill it out. But guess what, folks? SOMEONE does actually have to fill it out.

I knew I would be out of the house all day today, so I worked on it last night, largely with Josh, and maybe Elliott and David helped with one, I don't know. Like some of these people had CBS All Access (Catherine) and still did jack shit. I get that everyone is busy, but guess what? I'm in my last semester of college, taking over the credit hour limit, I'm in all upper-level grad-standing science classes, I was out of the house from 7am to 7pm and yet, I STILL completed the majority of that sheet. Granted, it's not all right, but at least I did something. Like what the FUCK are you guys even DOING?!?!

And all I want do is freak out on them or be super passive aggressive or something, but I do not want to put a target on my back. I absolutely hate them right now and when future them see this: I don't care, I absolutely hate you. (I'm kidding, I don't hate you. But just remember, next time you have a group project, this is how that one member feels SO BE FUCKING CONSIDERATE NEXT TIME).

-

[8/27/15, 10:48:11 PM] Teddy: Bridget! This is such a turn of events, but good luck at tribe council tomorrow. You gotta survive!

[8/27/15, 10:49:06 PM] Bridget: Eeep!! Thank you, I'll try (yn)

[8/27/15, 10:50:03 PM] Teddy: It seems so spilt over there :o

[8/27/15, 10:50:26 PM] Teddy: But you can do it!

"It seems so split over there" ... who's he getting that from?

But also, the girls want to keep David over Elliott... like, we don't necessarily need David. Yeah, he's a beast in comps but we also have Shannon. Overall, it seems like our tribe has the upper hand when it comes to challenges, but I could be wrong. I'm just saying, Trevor told Erin that David had the idol (although Josh also thinks Trevor has the idol), David is a beast in comps, David has an alliance already, David is apparently close to Shannon, and David will probably assume we're going to vote him out next if we don't vote him out now. Like, think ahead ladies!!! But I'm not going to push it. I already veered the vote away from Josh, who honestly is probably the "smartest" choice since he's not the greatest at challenges. I just want to low-key influence the vote without forcefully influencing the vote.

We won immunity! I have never won this many immunities before! I think I am going to try and stir things up with Karimun. I'm going to tell Shannon that Carly has the idol.  I'm also going to try and convince Carly and Elliott that they need to take out Shannon. We'll see if this works.

im tired and sleepy and Wes wants confessionals. things are serene on karimun we have our shit together and watch this blow up on me lol honestly like I love the girls on my tribe but like there's the nagging feeling in my head that I shouldn't fee so secure in my tribe and I could be gone any moment! it's all my own insecurities after how awful people were in ireland im half expecting everyone to blindside me every tribal lmao everyone cool this season tho no bad apples so that's nice!

Operation: Save my Goat. 

After learning the target for the Karimun vote is Elliott I let him know that David, Shannon, Josh, and Catharine are a strong foursome. I also messaged Shannon saying I'm pretty sure Carly has the idol so if they are going to vote for her they should split it or just make it seem like she is going home so that she plays it. I told her I am just trying to make sure her and David are safe. Ha. I also told her I've heard that a couple people are trying to get her or David out. Hopefully this stirs things up a little. Best case scenario is Elliott stays and an idol gets played.

[Thu] David Greenfield: Hey! We haven't talked yet :p <<< 

[Thu] Carlyy.: Haha that's true! And now you're trying when there's a vote :p kinda lame. But I mean, at least you're trying at all 😁 <<< ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????YOU HAVEN'T TALKED TO ME EITHER CARLY SO PLEASE SHUT UP JESUS CHRIST THIS PISSED ME OFF 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Live footage of Tyler and Trevor on our tribe beach

[survivor-riau]

Episode 6: I Wouldn’t Mind Being His Paige - Erin

Host Note: Teddy and Lydia sent in their confessionals after the game or are still in the process of sending them in.  Their confessionals most likely won’t be in the correct order.

Are. You. Serious. No tribe swap?? I'm so fucking bored of these girls. They're so lame. Don't get me wrong, because they're great people and I'd probably be friends with them in real life. But in terms of gameplay? They're boring as hell, I'm bored as hell! Like, come ON, ladies.

At this point, I don't care if I get voted out next, just as long as there's some fucking excitement or strategy or SOMETHING.

Me basically saying the same thing over and over

I won't even fake, I am way more invested in the guys tribe than my own.  Mostly because they are interesting and have things happen, and on my tribe I'm getting lots of 'girl power' and sticking together until the end bullshit.  I don't think any of them are actually playing, and I wanna at least start getting ready to play.  I know there will be a point where the girls do wake up and probably be against me, but honestly, idgaf, I just want something to do.

But yeah, the guys! I'm glad Teddy is okay, and that Connor got out, cause he didn't really seem like that cool of a dude tbh.  I love how much ass-kissing David was doing to Trevor right after that vote, but...I don't wanna underestimate David because ass-kidding is totally how you get Trevor to keep you around, so good job.  Speaking of Trevor, every day there is just more and more evidence hes not actually playing this game with me.  He does this thing where he loves keeping all his little plans totally secret, and I get that to a certain extent, but I swear if he doesn't watch it with the one-fucking-word answers, I'm done.  I think he has one person who he tells everything to, which is fine, that's good, but he's really bad at hiding that it's not me.  He does it to Trevor, and Erin is complaining about it.  I think he wants to be a kingpin but he's awful and making pawns trust him.  He has to say something, but he never says it all, and he'd do better to just keep his mouth shut.  

I feel like a swap is coming soon, and THANK GOD I AM SO BORED.  I have no idea who I will be with, but hopefully people who I've talked to and trust.  I think I should reach out more to Tyler and Daniel...if I can get it good with them, I stand a chance at forming an alliance with two idols and that's sorta the alliance I wanna be in.  And I think making a tie to the guys tribe that isn't Teddy and Trevor is in my best interest.  

Connor's gone and I couldn't be more relieved. I was hoping he'd be out of here soon but I had no idea how that was gonna happen so shoutout to Trevor for doing me a favor. Because of this I can finally feel okay with Daniel being my #1 so that's a plus. After the vote, Trevor, Tyler, and Teddy all came to me individually and told me that their reasoning for doing this was that Connor was keeping them from working with me and that they all really wanted to work with me and basically just a bunch of stuff like that. This made me feel really good because that tells me that every single person on this tribe wants to work with me, right? Wrong. I told Daniel what they all told me and he reveals that they wanted me gone over Connor but he saved my ass. He told me that they think they have him in their back pocket but he's not loyal to them at all. They also all think I have an idol except for like Trevor because he probably has one so that was another reason they wanted me gone. I'd be okay with this if I actually had one but I don't so it's just aggravating. Last update is that Daniel told me that I am still on everyone on that side of the tribe's radar to take out because until I'm the last Kiwayu left. I can see why they were extra nervous about it when there were three of us in the game but now Shannon and I are just like all of the other pairs in the game (Trevor/Lydia, Josh/Catherine). So it just sucks that I'm STILL a target because of having someone from a previous season.

The vote went as planned! Connor is gone! I immediately had David come to me saying he's glad Connor is gone and he still trusts me and wants to work with me. I see right through it but in fine playing along for now. Josh hasn't talked to me at all and he really should be because he's next on my hit list. I feel like I could be in a really good position in this game once Josh is gone. And preferably Shannon as well.

Hey hey hey. So it's been fairly quiet. Which is never a great feeling with survivor. Idk if it's been like this for everyone or just me. But like I'm having no private conversations at all. People aren't really talking to me. And I mean I haven't tried talking to the either! So maybe I should. But idk. Maybe it's just cause we haven't had tribal in a while. - I don't really know what else to say right now but I've been lacking in confessionals so here'ssss oneeeeee.

Tribe swap just started and I already hate it and am very nervous about being picked, oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no

DAMN THIS TRIBE SWAP im so doomed the only guy i ever talked to on bintan DIDNT PICK ME its not over but aaaaaaa

This swap went great. I was so worried I was going to end up on the Karimun tribe. Tyler and Daniel obviously don't know how close I am to Lydia because they think she might team up with the girls to get rid of one of us. Not going to happen. I need to get them to get rid of Fran.

OK SO I WAS SCARED TO BE SEPARATED FROM LYDIA BUT im still on karimun and us girls outnumber the new boys on the tribe 5 to 3 so this is a slam dunk for us, at least.. for now. but i suppose the reverse can happen on the other tribe since its 5 guys 3 girls there :// OH WELL at least i feel safe for right now T-T

I quit

Triiiibbeee swwaaapp!!! Also, please disregard my last confessional rip :)

Okay, so I'm really pleased with how things are shaping up. I like Teddy and both of us have been hoping for a tribe swap, so it's kind of ironic that we both won the challenge and will be on separate tribes. BUT I'm really happy at the same time, because he's with his alliance and I'm with Josh, so I can maintain communication with Teddy while working with Josh. Come merge, hopefully, I can play both sides. What's beautiful about this swap is I ended up with mainly Josh's alliance (Josh, Daniel, and David) plus one of Teddy's alliance (Elliott). That's exactly what I was hoping for because then it'd be easy to vote off Elliott and break up that alliance.

And at the veto, I chose Daniel because obviously I'm not going to give up David (a comp beast) or Josh (my closest ally at the moment), and I don't want to give Elliott to them because I want to pick him off. So I'm kind of sending Daniel to the slaughterhouse now (sorry bby). Fran and Daniel are by themselves, and I'm praying they get together with the three girls so none of my girls (specifically Erin, and I guess Lydia) go home. But I can't just tell the girls to work with them without revealing that I know more than I should. At least, I can't tell them YET.

However, what I'm concerned about is this: Josh being tighter with his boys alliance than he is with me and the girls wanting to work with Elliott instead of Josh/David. SO what I'm considering now is voting off David because he's a comp threat and I do not want him making merge. That takes some of the power away from Josh's alliance, makes the girls stronger, removes a threat, and keeps Elliott on my side. However, next vote, I'd want Elliott gone to break up his original alliance.

But obviously, none of this means anything until it's actually put to the test at a tribal council. People could be thinking on completely different lines than me, so I may have some work to do! With David and Shannon on our tribe, though, I don't even know if we'll go to a tribal!

I'm just so upset I'm gunna need a day to clear my head...

honestly tribe swap was probably one of the best things thats happened. i managed to get on the same tribe as all of my closest allies: shannon, josh, and david. at the moment, i plan on continuing to work with them. however, as soon as we're swapped, i'm added to an all-girls alliance chat. the five original karimun girls want to stick together. that leaves shannon and i between two alliances. which honestly seems like a good place to be. if we go with the #kiwapagos alliance, we have 4 people. if we go with the girls, we have 5 people. however, elliott is not in either of those alliances. if we lose immunity, it would be in shannon and i's best interest to target elliott. that would allow us to keep playing both sides as elliott is someone both alliances would probably be willing to target.

obviously, best case scenario would be winning immunity and not having to vote anyone out at all. but for now, i'm going to try to lay low and play both sides.

I can't catch a break in this game. Got the idol board right and whoops nothing there fml why do I bother?

Praise Yeezus, I was chosen. One of the last people to be drafted, but STILL. I will take it! And then I wasn't vetoed either, so again, praising Yeezus. I'm so pumped to have made it to a tribe swap. In Olympics, I was voted out right before one and that was kind of lame, seeing as my goal was to make jury. Honestly, that's my goal again this time, too, and it looks like things might be shaking out in that favor? Lucked out pretty well on the swap to be honest. While it is uneven on old Bintan and Karimun (5 guys to only 3 girls), the guys we have are pretty great and pretty much whom I would have chosen had I gotten the chance. I think we'll be set on challenges, too, because I know Lydia, Erin, and I always try our very best and I think these dudes do, too. I'm really excited about this next phase of the game!

Hello darkness my old friend. I made it to switch, yaaaasss. Remember when I said in my application post that I would not play the same game I played in Tahiti? Well, I guess I've lied. I really wanted to play a strong game from the beggining, but look where that got Connor or Pat. People are cutthrowing in this season... Here I am in this switch with three girls, Daniel, and 2 guys that voted for me first tribal... I am probably screwed, because they are in the smaller alliance and the girls will try to take Daniel or me out :)

This swap turned out to me nice. I feel like any of these people would go with me to the end. Except Fran. But he's irrelavent.

*me after Connor left* gOD I HATE THIS TRIBE PLEASE LET’S SWAP ALREADY

*Wes and Laure answers my prayers* 

YES THANK GOD FOR THE SWAP! I couldn’t asked for a better tribe!! I’m on the new Karimun tribe along with Bridget, Catherine, David, Shannon, Carly, Pris and Elliott. Oh my god this tribe is so A+++! We even got the challenge beasts David and Shannon so all is good in the world. I’m still waiting for Elliott to slay in challenges because he’s severely underperforming. I guess I expected better from him? Gosh I’m so…..I’M IN A TRIBE WITH ALL MY ALLIES!!! Sucks that Daniel had to be exiled though, Bridget literally kicked him out and sent him to the slaughter that is the New Bintan tribe which is basically the people I haven’t talked to at all plus Fran and Daniel. I’m hoping that they finds a solid alliance on his tribe though because I do wanna reunite with him.

Right now, I have a solid alliance of 4 (me, Catherine, Shannon and David), and a tight alliance with Bridget so basically I’m in a great position on my tribe! I would try to make this 5 person alliance (Wes’ Children Alliance + Bridget) to work because I’m almost certain after Kyra left, I’m the only real ally Bridget has. Bridget and Catherine just have to step up in their challenge skills and we’ll be good! Oh man, I don’t wanna jinx it but I’m so happy with my new tribe right now (: IF Everyone sticks to their word, or we win this challenge, I beat my Galapagos placement which is 16th!!

Tribe swap happened!! I was really nervous at first, but I think new Karimun has a lot of potential to slay! I loved being on a tribe of all girls, but I feel like we were almost a little to unified and our votes were too easy, and nobody really wanted to talk game. It got pretty boring.

Basically everything up until this point -

Last time I get to post one of these. Feels way too soon. Damn.

Today I was talking to Bridget and each time I talk to her I find her use in my game diminishing after every sentence which sucks because I really do like her a lot and we've grown close on a personal level and I consider her one of my best friends in this cast. I might have to vote her off early than I expected because now she's after David and Shannon. I want Bridget around a little longer so I'm not going to tell David about it but she's putting her trust in very dangerous people. I pitched in an idea to Bridget of having a 2 girls 2 guys alliance and she told me her number 1 in the girls is Erin which was Teddy's first pick during the swap. I reported to Catherine right away and she told me she thinks that Bridget will not vote any girl out. Also I do suspect that Egypt and Port Royal are working together and they probably know that Galapagos and Kiwayu are working together too because of the Schoolyard Pick. Are we gonna see a war between Galapagos-Kiwayu and Egypt-Port Royal once we merge? We shall see. But right now, it would seem Fran is going home this round just by the talk I had with Daniel and what Bridget said to me about Daniel and Trevor trashing Fran. I really hope we keep winning immunity until the merge so that we can dwindle their numbers but that mean possibly losing Daniel along the way. Bridget also told me that Erin said that Trevor's 90% sure David has the idol which I'm actually not surprised if David really does have the idol. My top suspects are Trevor and David tbh. Trevor not having the idol explains why they threw my name instead of Connor and then blindsiding him during the Connor vote so David (if he does have it) misplays it. If David does have it I feel like he would've told me? Idk David keeping secrets is so likely (i think) so I have to be extra cautios around him.

Now that I'm in a new tribe maybe now's the time to fade away again and go under the radar. I obviously couldn't back in B*ntan. My ideal bootlist if we keep on going to tribal would be, Elliott would go first, then Carly, then Pris and then Bridget. I think the Wes' Children alliance would stick together. For this tribal phase I mean. Also I forgot to say this but WHAT'S THAT SOUND??? THAT'S THE SOUND OF ME NOT GETTING 16TH!!! I BEAT MY GALAPAGOS PLACEMENT WOOOOO~ I feel like there's one more twist Wes and Laure will give us that involves challenges. What is it? I'm not gonna tell because yall will probably use it lmao.

I finally get to vote out Fran!! And now that I'm on a tribe that I feel comfortable in I'm going to let a little bit of my villainous side slip out. After this vote I don't know what to do. We need to step up our challenge performance because I really do like the group of 7 that we will be left with. If the 7 of us can make it to the merge that would be the ideal scenario. I'm also still keeping tabs on Elliott just in case he is still around at the merge and I can use him to my advantage.

Okay here we go...whatever....

Thoughts on the swap: I think it worked out *okay*...wouldn't say well, but wouldn't say bad. I knew if I was on the tribe with the guy captain he would veto a girl and I'd be outnumbered 5-3 guys to girls. Its basic math. The only good think is that the guys are so divided. You can tell they don't want to work together. Theres gotta be cracks somewhere.

Thoughts on Teddy picking me: I saw it coming from a mile away. He finally talks to me for the first time since Egypt after the swap and claims its because of my challenge scores. I call BS honestly. Yeah I'm a challenge Queen but I'm not insanely good, Shannon Sami and Lydia do just as well as I do if not better sometimes. My initial thought was that he can't get me out if we're not on the same tribe. So having lost immunity, am I worried? Yeah of course. But he says he wants a clean slate, and I honestly do too. I wouldn't mind being his Paige, a secret alliance that no one would guess, especially because everyone thinks we hate each other. I tried to mention something like that and he didn't respond well and changed the subject making me even less convinced he wants to keep me safe.

Thoughts on the challenge: I hate puzzles. This one got easier as I tried it though. I mean 26 minutes and i barely even tried. I was distracted and moving leisurely and the guys get 50-90 minutes? You're kidding me. If you were trying to throw the competition you could've done a better job at it. 90 minutes on a 300 piece puzzle is like 18 seconds per piece, are you a fucking sloth? No. You're a human, act like one.

Thoughts on tribal tonight: Trevor and Daniel told me Fran. And while I believe them I'm still on my toes. Its idiotic for them to take out a guy but they know more about him than I do. God I wish I could blindside Trevor. But him and Teddy are friends and I heard Tyler is in their alliance so maybe next time Daniel will flip, you never know. Yeah I think Trevor is helpful for now, but he scares the shit out of me...I have a gut feeling he has the idol and we all know what happens when Trevor has an idol.... :'(

Angel of the day award goes to Bridget, trying to hep me from Karimun, god she's a saint I really miss her :(

    I didn't tell Teddy about Trevor's plan to vote him out after Fran and Sami because...I wasn't sure if anything good would come from that?

There is a lot of time to fix this, and if we get to a merge it won't even be Trevor's plan I don't think.  Also, I have options and I haven't exactly made up my mind yet.

It's kinda weird being on a tribe with this group of people, because I really can't afford to go to tribal more than twice without seriously fucking up my game.  I want my idol during the merge, and I really don't want Daniel and Tyler to get to merge either.  They're in complete control, and it's really to see how.  Daniel comes off really relaxed and fun loving, but I get this vibe that he's taking notes on EVERYTHING I say.  And Tyler is just...insanely likable.  But at least for this vote it needs to be Fran.

It's awkward talking to them because I know so much than I"m supposed to, and I'm positive they know I know more than I let on.  They probably think I'm playing dumb for the sake of Trevor, that everything I need to know I get from him.  But they don't know that I know a shit ton more than that, so it's awkward having to lie.  Also, they are both really smart and I'm nervous I am going to fuck up.

This vote should be easy but I really wouldn't be surprised if something went wrong...

Audio Confessional

We finally swapped today! I won the reward challenge so I got to start off the school yard pick along with Bridget, which kind of sucked because I really wanted to work with her. Either way, she chose David first (I assumed she was going for challenge beasts) so since I had to pick a girl next, I immediately thought of Shannon or Erin. I ended up picking Erin for a few reasons. For one, if I picked her she would have to talk to me. Two, she’s simply one of the best competitors left in the game so that’s a plus. A few people messaged me after saying how shocked they were that I picked her first because they knew we didn’t like each other, but I just played it off like I wanted the tribe to be the strongest possible.

What’s even better is that the Three Stooges are on this tribe with me (what I call the Tyler, Daniel, and Trevor alliance) so that if and when Lydia and I want to strike against them, we’re able to. Getting one of them out on our first vote would be too soon, but after that? Who knows. I’m excited to finally start openly playing the game more and showing people that I’m not this “dead goat” that I’ve been pretending to be. Game on, putas.

[survivor-riau]

Episode 5: STICK TO THE PLAN - Josh

SO I'M ON REDEMPTION ISLAND AND THIS SEASON IS JUST A BLAST FROM THE FUCKING PAST FOR ME. But I'm going to tear these challenges up, and I'm going to tear those boys up. Connor and David are going to be beyond screwed if I come back into this game. I'm just hoping that I don't see Teddy Bridget or Sami voted out any time soon. Also it sucks bc Pat's here and I love Pat, but I why would I sit here on Redemption Island, LITERALLY MY FIRST SEASON, and not try my damnedest to come back in?

Daniel and I have only gotten closer since I last made a confessional and I would much rather work with him. We added each other on snapchat so I think we're pretty tight.

*on call last night*

Trevor: What if I told you I had the idol?

Teddy: Do you have the idol?

Trevor: -silence-

Teddy: Do you have the idol!?

Trevor: -silence-

Teddy: Trevor!

Trevor: No...

Teddy: Do you have who has the idol?

Trevor: Yes...

...Are you kidding me!?  Trevor doesn't even have the idol, and he's bragging about it as if Daniel/David (i don't care) having it gives him some kind of power.  This is one of about six conversations last night where the sounds of me beating my head into the wall was background music.  Trevor can't keep a secret, Teddy can't make a friend on that tribe to save his life. I need to drop these two right the fuck now and find another dude who can keep me in the loop.

Basically, I'm counting on the girls to get me further.

I've been slacking on confessionals lately so here. With Kyra being medevacced, Bridget now need to find new allies so I think it's a perfect time for Cat and Shannon to reel her in. I was on call with Bridget yesterday and she said that Kyra was not careful on the chat and everyone knows they are close. So I guess that's a weight lifted off Bridget's shoulder? I was also surprised that Owen was voted out unanimously. I had this fear of him or Trevor having the idol, but Daniel and David being so confident that no idol is gonna be played, makes me believe that one of them has the idol. I feel like we're swapping 16 so I think I gotta talk to the girls but I don't click with any of them except for Catherine, Shannon and Bridget lol...........and we lost the challenge today rip :\ god [Baylor voice] Just let me breathe for a second

YYYAYYAYYAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. I can't believe we won two challenges in a row, but I am so fuckin thrilled that we have! I LOVE not going to tribal council, let me tell you. I think Shannon was super worried she would be going home if we did have to go, because holy fuck, the amount of ass she kicked in that challenge. She carried the tribe 100%. I need alcohol, my eyes still hurt.

god bless the karimun tribe this whole game is against us and we keep on presevering

So that challenge killed me. Like I got the lowest score out of everyone wtf. But we won immunity nonetheless so thats good I guess. I really hope a swap isn't coming. It'd be dumb for a swap especially since our numbers are even right now.

But since I did so shitty on that challenge I made up a lie that I got sick, threw up, got vertigo and was bed ridden from it. Yeah no I didn't get sick. I just got so fed up with the game and how shitty I was doing that I didn't wanna play anymore so I told my tribe I got sick in case we lost I couldn't be the one to blame....idiotic? Or pure genius? Guess we'll never be able to find out.

I'm juggling alliances right now like a mad man. The goal: vote out Josh. I've told David and Connor that I want to vote out Teddy. They seemed to be just entertaining me by talking to me but once I mentioned that Teddy wanted to vote Josh they were all over trying to figure out what's going on. Josh actually messaged me for the first time in like 10 days. I have my alliance for a little while longer with Tyler and Daniel and I want to take advantage of it to get rid of a big player now. I also started an alliance chat for Daniel, Elliott, and I so that Elliott doesn't feel excluded.  The three of us with Teddy and Tyler should be voting Josh in order to take him out. Hopefully I will find a way to still get David and Connor to trust me after this. And hopefully this doesn't blow up in my face. Will Morgan make her return tomorrow night?

Hell of a competition. Sad it had to come against Owen, who's one of my favourite people. But, them's the breaks, I guess. Glad it came down to such a tight finish. Good competition makes it that much more fun.

(Apologies for the small-ness. Adobe did a thing.)

Change of plans. We're voting out Connor instead of Josh.

lmao 2 confessionals in one day?? nice. Anyway I just got off call with Connor, Tyler and Fran so basically everyone knows about the split votes plan. To recap, Trevor came to David and told him to  vote out Teddy. We're a little weary of that because we thought Teddy and Trevor are super close so Connor made a plan to split the votes. The plan is Connor, David and Daniel vote for Teddy while me, Tyler and Fran vote for Elliott. Trevor told me that Teddy is voting for me, probably because of the Pat vote. So what I think will happen, There's gonna be 4 votes Teddy, 3 votes Elliott, and 2 votes for me, assuming Elliott is voting with Teddy. The worst thing that can happen is that it's gonna be 3 votes Teddy, 3 votes Elliott, 3 votes me, Teddy/Trevor plays an idol and then there will be a tie between me and Elliott. Actually, what's EVEN WORSE THAN THAT, Trevor and Teddy each play an idol (A girl gives one of them the idol which is very unlikely because why would you do that tbh), one for Teddy, one for Elliott and then I'll be going home rip but that's like a v small chance right? gOD I'M SO NERVOUS. If I get voted out because of an idol once again AND ON PREMERGE I will conclude that Wes hosted games just arent for me lmfao. I wish everyone just [Keith voice] STICK TO THE PLAN.

Audio Confessional

[survivor-riau]

Episode 4: I’m Going to Hangman Myself - Trevor

This Rubiks Cube is literally on a site called "Math Playground".  Are you kidding me? (MirandaSings voice) If I wanted to play math games I would download Math Circus. Nothing else is happening right now.  Except Owen causing drama.  It is so hard to bite my tongue.

OH MY GOODNESS SO SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED. First i blew the challenge and couldn't post my score since my phone died. Then i got together a whole bunch of people to vote Pris out, which were me, Bridget, Erin, Carly, Lydia, and maybe Sami (she was a bit flaky i thought). Turns out ALL OF THEM WERE FLAKY AND VOTED ME OUT. THX GUYS. AND NOW IM ON SECRET REDEMPTION ISLAND ?? THIS IS FANTASTIC BESIDES THE FACT THAT I SUCK AT TETRIS.

Edit to my last confessional: Josh and Elliott did not vote together, people just assumed they did. I remembered that incorrectly in my previous confessional rip

On 8/17/15, at 9:51 PM, Lydia wrote:

> Can we have like...an eyeliner competition? I could probably beat them at that.

On 8/17/15, at 9:52 PM, ♥small musical goblin♥ wrote:

> what about crying challenge im sure i can kick butt at that tbh

-screams internally-

Also, anyone who knows anything about psychology knows this is a classic case of demand characteristics! For those unaware: "Demand Characteristics is a term used in Cognitive Psychology to denote the situation where the results of an experiment are biased because the experimenters' expectancies regarding the performance of the participants on a particular task create an implicit demand for the participants to perform as expected."

But anyway. Onward and upward.

fuck this season!!! its a maaad conspiracy against the karimun tribe tbh!!! its a maaaad mad world

What the hell. All the boys did was record the shuffle in slo mo and then did the reverse. Frick.

I feel like we've lucked out so far in terms of tribal council, which has worked out nicely for me. At the moment, I'm not strongly aligned with anyone on the girls' tribe besides Shannon. If the other members of the tribe were to come after us we clearly wouldn't have the numbers. However, with Nia being inactive our first tribal council went smoothly.

Our second tribal was a little messier. I don't think anyone wanted to expose alliances. When Maddie didn't post a score, I think that most people used that as an excuse to vote for her so no one would have to stir the pot. It also allows Shannon and I to blend in with the crowd a little bit longer.

The only loyalties I have are in the #Kiwapagos alliance right now (Shannon, Josh, Connor, David, and I). A rumor is being spread about a Kiwayu/Bonin alliance, but I have to trust my alliance members that that isn't the case. Trust is all I have right now because I don't have the numbers.

I can't believe Wes and Laure are forcing me to return to my roots and use Gaia Online. What have I done to deserve this? P.S. Glad that last challenge was reward, not immunity, much appreciated.

I PICKED THE WRONG SEASON TO COME BACK IN

Okay so Maddie. I liked you. Alot. Like I didn't want you to go. But Lydia brought up the major concern that theres a large group of Bonin and Kiwayu working together and while I don't know much about who's from which TS season, I couldn't take that risk. I hope this doesn't hurt me in the future. But I want you to know that you're an amazing person, I really liked talking to you. This wasn't personal, strictly strategy.

Which brings me to Lydia. Damn this girl is good at this game. And if people realize that I think i'd be a direct target in result. I literally feel like her Wes (hi). She does everything and none of the backlash falls on me (as of now...I hope). Idk....we'll see. I love her though. She's great. Just so smart and She can win hands down if she makes it far.

Now the reward challenge. HAHAHAHAHA I WON IM SCREAMING. I love it. I mean whats with me getting power in these TS games and it not benefitting me though?! First the Chief in Egypt and now the immunity. But thank GOD Conner gave me immunity too...I AINT GOING NO WHERE BITCHES. (I mean at least for this vote).

Idk why Trevor keeps slipping info to me too. I mean keep it coming...but unless he's lying to me I'm just surprised that he's so open...cause I didn't think he was an idiot

So much has happened!!!! First of all, FUCK GAIA!Second, I think Owen is going home. And Tyler finally told me he has the idol! Like wow I thought for sure David had it. Kyra is gone woo hoo. Let people who want to play actually play. And this time tomorrow we might be down to 16 :O I'm hoping a swap comes soon so I can improve my position in this game.

I'm so glad my years wasted on a website stuck in 2007 were able to help us win immunity, which we super duper needed. I wouldn't even be sure where to start if we had to go to tribal tomorrow. And, uh, not gonna lie - not really bummed out about Kyra's medevac? Which I kind of feel bad for, because I think I should be. We never talked and she didn't contribute too-too much to the tribe. I really dig just about everyone else and am super pumped to have tonight and tomorrow off.

Kyra Kyra Kyra. I have mixed emotions. I liked her. But I was worried her, Bridget, Shannon and Catherine had an alliance so her going is beneficial to us "Spice Girls" (god i hate that name). Now Bridget and I have had time to bond through this Gaia crap and she's also close with Lydia so hopefully we can pull her into a group with us and #slay. Also Kyra, I warned you about the queue...I TOLD you to save the pic on your phone and post it later if it didn't go through...sooooo....

Also I got the highest score again...I'm crazy...but I need to tone it down a bit. Ugh. The Comp Queen has returned people.

Whoops. I slipped and told Erin I talk to Kyra nearly everyday (not about game) when we found out she got med evac'd. Hopefully that doesn't make her suspicious of me with anyone else.

But anyway. As much as I loved this Gaia challenge (eyes Wes and Laure), I think it helped our tribe bond more! Everyone's just been sharing pleasantries with each other and it's so boring, but now I feel like I've been able to build a rapport with more players, especially Erin. We even talked about our number one fetish today, that's when you know you're real friends. Hopefully, that will open up and become more of a working relationship in terms of strategy and alliances.. speaking of which, none have officially been formed (??) yet. At least, none with me in them :')

I'm ready for a twist or tribe swap, though!

Does David or Daniel have the idol? I think one of them has it.

no more gaia or im quitting

Okay so...I'm not really sure what to confess about besides the fact that the girls fucking slayed in that Gaia challenge.

Umm...game wise, I think it's looking more and more like Erin and I being a pair and hopefully ditching that alliance with Carly.  She's just not a great ally, she is incapable of shutting up, and has no idea what the fuck she's talking about, so it never works out well.  I think Erin is bonding really well with Bridget, so I'm hoping it will be us three and Sami, and I'm going to try and keep Pris around as much as possible.  But, we won the last challenge so things have been pretty quiet since last night.  

The only interesting development has been between Trevor and Teddy.  I think that Trevor thinks he's kingpinning an alliance that just...doesn't exist.  He wants us both to trust him, but then never tells either of us what we really need to know.  He didn't tell me when Owen started bringing up my name, he didn't tell Teddy that Tyler has the idol and might give it to Daniel, he talks to Erin all the time but doesn't tell me about it. He keeps all these little secrets and...the information he gives is good if you can put together all the little pieces, but without people like Teddy and Erin there would be no use for him at all.  

Bonus, Teddy and I are the only two people who know where both idols are so...that's pretty cool.

Also with Teddy...I really like the trust that we have, but I have to be honest, he's sort of useless on the other tribe.  He doesn't trust anyone, he won't work with anyone, he has to play like a goat to survive.  And he talks about it like if he can just play-dead until he gets to me that I can save him.  I can't save him! Erin won't ever fucking work with him, I don't have that much pull and if I do get in a good alliance, it wouldn't be of people who he would work with.  I won't ever target Teddy, I will avoid writing his name down for as long as possible, and maybe he or I will get voted out way before we even have a chance to play together.  But...my goal can't be getting to the end with Teddy, it has to be getting to the end.

:)

No time for a video this week! :( Sorry! So this week started with Carly messaging me about a bunch of dudes wanting to align with the girls and I'm like "... please don't associate me with this I don't want to be a bigger target". But honestly? I think I'm going to side with the girls when it comes down to it. Unless they want to touch Trevor and Teddy I love them. and they're the only dudes I 100% trust. On top of that, Lydia told Bridget that I told her to target Shannon, which I never did. So obviously my name is coming up a lot, and I tell my girls Sami and Carly "PLEASE DON'T TALK ABOUT ME ANYMORE I'M GOING TO GET VOTED OUT" and shit's all chill. Bye Maddie u poor unfortunate soul. So sad. In pain. So we do this shitty rubiks cube challenge and then i was super mad because I thought I was going to go home, but my tribe came up with a kickass strategy! And then it wasn't immunity and I was super mad. And then I was hoping Erin would give me immunity bc the girls all know I'm fucked but she pulled some good samaritan bullshit with connor. The real immunity challenge sucked, and we lost, and I'm hella upset?? LIKE?? HONESTLY IF GOD WAS REAL I WOULD NOT BE GOING TO TRIBAL. On top of that, I wasn't feeling the tribal last week to say the least and obviously I'm faced with a bunch of shitty liars, but they all keep telling me "idk tbh! What about you?" when I ask them who they're voting for and they're so transparent. I'm almost certain there's a big alliance here, and if there is, if they want to do a good job at hiding it instead of alienating everyone they would make fake sub-alliances. Because that's how it fucking works. Alienation pisses people off. That being said, earlier someone told me Tyler and I had absolutely no objections. #bye. (but please dont be a lie I would be so shitty). And on top of that here's a fun story that transpired just a few minutes ago. I think it's easy for me to say Bridget's probably my closest ally? ngl I talk to her more than everyone else. So we were talking about why we want a swap and how she gets along better with boys and I get along better with girls and I was like "... can I tell you a secret?" And that secret (which is true), is that I'm a closeted trans woman and this season's twist is extremely ironic. (I also told her to still use masculine pronouns for me just so that's clear). The fact that Laure's hosting it is ironic too. I'm like the Danny who didn't go home first, except like a gender swap. As for the rest of the cast, they'll find out later. I plan on making a dramatic entrance later ;) Later sluts!

Ok is this confessional actually going to submit??? I hope so. First of all... FUCK GAIA! Second of all. Owen is going home because he talks too much. No surprises this time. And then this time tomorrow we might be down to 16 players :O we need to swap so I can start trying to get myself in a good spot in this game.

-

One more thing! Tyler finally told me he has the idol. Like damn how did you keep that secret for so long! He's giving it to Daniel so hopefully Daniel sticks with me. If that idol sends me home I'm going to hangman myself.

Audio Confessional

[survivor-riau]

Episode 3: I’m but a Simple Small Musical Goblin - Pris

WHAAAAAAAAATTTTT. I'm totally shocked at Bintan's tribal tonight. What. Pat?! My bro Pat?!?!?!??! With a 6-5 vote?? Over an inactive...?!?! I'm totally bummed out because I was really excited to finally get the chance to play with him post-merge, since that uh didn't happen in Olympics because I was voted out. I don't understand the thinking behind that vote, to be perfectly. It's way too early to be playing endgame and I know he can be an asset in challenges. But at the same time, it sounds like things are real weird over at Bintan, while at Karimun, we're getting along pretty gosh darn solidly and talking and enjoying each other. I mean, we did have a kick ass treehouse shelter with a cat flag. Come on.

The paranoia is already starting to seep in through the pores of this game. I messaged Josh before tribal to tell him to be safe and he was so nervous, making me nervous thinking he was about to be voted out! Turns out, Josh was originally aligned with Pat and Teddy but found out they were playing both sides (which isn't surprising because they were the friendliest in the beginning of the game). So instead of voting out Fran, who isn't very social, he aligned with Connor, David, Fran, Daniel, and Tyler to vote out Pat. After tribal was over, Owen came to me freaking out saying he was in the minority and blah blah blah. Now I actually know what happened because I'm close with Josh, but I'm not about to let other people know that. So I'm just trying to "figure out" what happened by "probing" him with "questions." Anyway, he tells me he trusts me and wants to work at swap. In all honesty, I don't trust Owen. I like him as a person, but I see through him as a player. He switches the conversation to say Kiwayu people (Shannon, David, and Connor) are close and need to be split up asap. Sure sure, Owen. I mean, that may definitely be true but Owen is also a self-proclaimed shit talker. He's trying to feed off my "paranoia" that there's a close group of three in this game that needs to be taken out. And maybe they do need taken out, but Owen seems like a messy player. Of the girls, no one is really talking alliances or strategy. At least, not to me. And I'm not sure if that should be disconcerting or not. The only person is Kyra who came to me when the game first started saying "f2?" Josh just told me Lydia asked him about their tribal. That girl is a schemer.

They messed with the wrong Pat.

Okay okay, Lydia may or may not be a schemer, but she may not be very smart. Like she approached me about Owen being worried about Bonin/Kiwayu people. Which also proves he's a bonafide shit-talker and will talk shit until they're voted out or he's voted out. But you know what? I'm going to roll with this if it puts me in the background for the time being. I don't want to be too visible before merge and I'll let someone else do the shit-talking. You're putting a target on yourself once you get your intended target out so :) But he never mentioned Bonin people to me, which is kind of weird, but that makes me nervous because that includes Josh. We'll see what happens, I guess!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeell we voted Pat out and the outcome is as expected. Connor and I are still screwed but in a sense less screwed than before? Josh told us that Bridget told him that Owen said that someone needs to split Connor and I up and like that's true but please don't. Convid 5evr!!! The reasoning for voting Pat out was we caught him and Teddy playing both sides and making alliances all around so we might as well take one of them out. And finally we made a guess for the idol and got it right but we were kindly told that the idol was already found and that we suck :) so voting Pat out didn't flush the idol so that's lame.

*sigh* Pat was just blindsided and hear I am shaking at results because we actually did it. And here I am everyone thinking I was innocent and that I had nothing to do with it, UNTIL I get invited to a chat with Trevor, Owen, and Teddy and they start asking who's vote was who's... FUCK. Every Fran vote had a confessional and now I'm like screwed smd Owen is directly asking me which is my vote and I can't say so I just go on invisible and fuck... They're gonna realize I've been lying, smh. Honestly the worst part would be ruining what I have with Trevor. I didn't make that move to hurt his game or put him in jepoardy. I made a move for what I thought would be better for me and I couldn't tell trevor because then he'd tell Teddy and Teddy would tell Pat :S

PLEASE DON'T HATE ME TREVOR AND TEDDY :S

First confessional. I don't know how I'm still here but I am. I know I have been lowkey and they were right about that in their confessionals. As I said in my question for the tribal it is being harder to make relationships when I have to talk to so many people, but I think now I can see myself playing with specific people. Thank god somebody had bigger plans and wanted to take a bigger threat than me. This is all stars, why take the person that got 0 votes in the end when you can take someone that specifically says is a mastermind in their video?

wHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I can't believe we pulled off that blindside! I honestly felt SO bad for Pat. He was my closest friend in this game and I can't believe I had to cut him off so early. Throughout tribal my hands were numb, my heart was beating a mile a minute god i was so nervous. Now we have to do damage control. Bridget also came to me and said that Owen's been going around telling people to split up Connor, Shannon and David. That's bad because me and Catherine are aligned with them. Also the idol's still around which worries me. Also for some reason Lydia started messaging me right after tribal???? Idk Bridget and Catherine already said that she seems to be sketchy so I only gave her limited information. I think right now it's best for me to start working on cross tribal alliances just in case a swap happen and I get seperated with the #NiaWarriors. But I do have the Wes' Children alliance, also an alliance with Bridget and by default I think with Kyra also. The Bridget-Josh-Kyra alliance is perfect because NO ONE would suspect it! My attempts at laying low during the tribal phase of this game seems to be not working lmfao but I don't think I'm a target in my tribe for now. They are going after Connor and David after all but I really can't have that because they're my closest allies in this tribe.

does every dang alliance chat i'm in suppose to have a hashtag as it's group name? Fran made an alliance with me and Connor called #TheTimezoners. Totally not complaining tho!

The guys tribal last night really got me thinking.  I didn't expect to see something so split so early, and it could mean a lot of different things. Mostly, it means that someone over there has a very strong plan, and since the group sounds like it consists of people I have never talked to, I don't want them to gain too much momentum.   The fact that the guys decided to take out someone who was active, over someone who wasn't, shows that whoever pulled that together needed numbers on their side very quickly.  Because going after 'the bigger threat' on the first vote makes no damn sense.  I don't completely trust Trevor because of some comment he made yesterday about 'finally starting to have fun' and I know how much that kid loves a good blindside.  But, he seemed very genuine when I talked to him.  Owen was freaking the fuck out, I think he messaged most of the girls in a panic telling us who was at the bottom and even asking us to throw the challenges. I didn't want to have to start playing this early, but a lot of girls saw that tribal as a warning sign, and I gotta do something.   There are more Kiwayu and Bonin people playing than anyone else.  It makes sense if both groups have an equal sized target to team up, that was sort of my logic with talking to Shannon.  The boys of both of those seasons are in pairs, so they probably did need the numbers quickly before voting got strategic and people went after them.  I know for a fact that breaking up Kiwayu was a decent sized part of lots of people's plan. So using Fran might have been their only opportunity to keep control long enough to get to a merge or swap.  If they all survive to the merge, that's a group of six, with an idol from what I can tell, I don't wanna play against that.   So while I'm not throwing a challenge, I am trying to figure out where my numbers are and which girl should be targeted. I've been thinking about who would be willing to vote for which girl. I know that people were thinking about getting rid of Pris, but letting that happen would be really hard for me.  She's alone.  She clearly doesn't know anyone, and the first bond with someone is a good bond to have.  Especially in comparison to Shannon, Catherine, and Maddie, Pris is very much alone, and I could use that.  If I want a group of tight girls, I need girls that don't have any allies on the other side besides my allies.  Erin is alone, Sami just lost Pat, and Pris is alone.   Shannon would be the easiest target because she's a winner, but I've talked to her enough that I feel like, at least for now, we would vote together.  Also, she will always be a target, so I don't think she needs to go first.  Teddy and I both feel like Josh is a very good liar, and I know he is close to Catherine, and played with Maddie.  If I target Catherine I could probably use my existing alliance of Erin, Sami, Carly, myself, and possibly Pris?  I would ideally like to get out Maddie, but since Carly has been getting close to her, I would be nervous to suggest that.  However, I could probably sell Pris, Bridget, Kyra, Erin, and Sami on that idea... I talked to Bridget a little bit last night, and we agreed on Shannon or Maddie.  It's the first vote and just because we agree that someone needs to go doesn't mean we have to be in a tight alliance.  The last thing I wanna do is end up in multiple groups.  I'm hoping I can convince a few people without making myself a target, and without having to make any promises.  Owen did a lot of that for me, thank you Owen, and I'm going to see if I can do this without coming off as a leader at all.   No matter what, I need to talk to Sami and Erin cause they're my closest allies and I will vote where their votes go.  It's stressful because I feel like these girls are waiting to get to the guys, like they have alliances over there. And it doesn't look like my guys will make it much further, so my focus should be on finding my group of soul-sisters.  I'm trying to be patient.  Unless there is ALOT going on that I don't know about, I think this might work out.

Hi sorry I've had no time to just sit and type crap out yet. However I did write down all my very brief first impressions from people when I watched the videos at the beginning. I'll share those now. 

 Maddie - Awkward. Blurry. Questionable. 

Sami - She's super cute. 

Catherine - Video would nawtttt work. 

Kyra - Funny. Kinda funny. 

Shannon - I WANT HER HAIR PLEASEEEE 

Pris - Interesting. I feel like this game could be a bad idea for her. 

Bridget - Kind. Seems kind. 

Erin - Why am I getting a questionable vibe. 

Lydia - I want to be friends with you. 

 Nia - Innocent and seems clueless. 

 Okay but now here's my thoughts on people! 

Maddie seems like a good person to just take along with you for the ride as a number. I think she's trustworthy. But won't make any crazy moves. Idk. I'm not sure how I feel about 

Kyra. All I know is we talk about her manager a lot. 

Shannon - I like her. I don't talk to her enough. 

Pris - omg yeah she's cray. She like came at me like BE IN AN ALLIANCE WITH ME. and I was like woah girl calm down. I told her no flat out cause that's a weird way to ask someone. 

Catherine I literally have no idea. 

Bridget - I like her. And I want to work with her.. but the girls I'm in an alliance with think she's with Kyra and we're not sure if we want them both :( 

Erin//Sami/Lydia - Genuinely love these girls. We're in an alliance that I really hope sticks. They all just seem legit and they're good to talk with. I think it'll be good. Just whenever we go to tribal we're gunna get someone else maybe 2 people in with us. We're thinking Shannon and/or Maddi. We shall see. I really hate math btw. OH AND I'm really upset PAT GOT VOTED OFF. I didn't see that coming honestly. I was excited to work with him later in the game when we were together. We were friends before the game and we woulda done well together I think. So it's lame. But oh well.

[11:21:04 AM] Catherine: Should I expose the kiwapagos alliance to Bridget???? Lydia told her about it (told her that Bonin and kiwayu are close) 

[11:21:25 AM] josh: what 

[11:21:26 AM] josh: omg 

[11:21:48 AM] Catherine: In talking to Bridget and Lydia told her that Bonin and kiwayu people are close 

[11:22:08 AM] josh: bring that up to the wes' children alliance 

[11:22:12 AM] josh: chat 

[11:22:23 AM] josh: when you mean Bonin, you mean Maddie? 

[11:23:19 AM] Catherine: Maddie and Elliot 

[11:23:32 AM] josh: o: okay good no one thinks it's us Me: *forgets that I'm on Bonin* frick they're on to us.

Tyler thinks he's slick. He's still trying to say he didn't vote for Pat yet when I asked him which Fran vote was his he claimed Teddy's was his. I'm just playing along like I still believe him. Thank god we have immunity of I would probably be going home. Can we have a tribe swap please? And maybe a new idol system?

lol can i just get voted out already im so rusty and bad at this game my anxiety is thru the roof! im but a simple small musical goblin :o(

PLEASE DON'T HATE ME TREVOR AND TEDDY :S

Dear fucking lord, I can’t stand Lydia sometimes (as a player). She came to me with some “interesting news” and sent me a screenshot of CATHERINE on JOSH’S blog as he wished her a happy birthday!!! Gasp shock intrigue!!!! Girl, this is an almost all returnee cast. What the fuck did you expect? And NOW she wants to switch the vote away from Maddie because, according to Trevor, Bonin people are not sticking together but Kuwayu is [cue gasp]. Spoiler alert: “Bonin” people are working together if you count Josh and Elliot voting together once as “working together.” But I’m not about to tell people I know what happened with that vote (given Josh’s information is correct). So here Lydia is trying to change the vote to Maddie, no wait to Catherine, no wait maybe to Shannon! Jesus Christ. I don’t care who goes, but I’d appreciate it if we could pick someone, it’s not me, and I can vote with majority. K thx bai. This doesn’t have to be as hard as Lydia’s making it. And I don't want to take the leadership role because we all saw how well that worked for Pat.

Tyler and Daniel came clean about voting for Pat. I understand why they did it but I still don't fully trust them. It kind of seems like they are only working with me until a couple more people are gone and then they will go with David and Connor. I am trying to convince them that that pair is a big threat and that David has the idol. A move needs to be made either the next vote or the one after that.

This is irrelevant to me and my game, but I really REALLY hope that Trevor was lying to me in that call we had last night.  I really hope my close friend doesn't actually believe that Tyler and Daniel/David (idk which one, don't care) saying they are sorry they ended up on the opposite side from him, means they trust him and wanna work with him.  He knows better than to throw my name out there to people I don't even know, and say that I would vote with him if there was a tribe swap.  I really want to have faith that he's not actually misted by Tyler saying 'we'll make sure they vote you out last'. I did the same thing to him like two months ago, and I never actually pulled him in, or trusted him completely, and he knows all of that.  What the fuck is he doing? Even then, he didn't have a choice. He has options now, and he's just laying down for a dude he's known a week, I'm so confused. I genuinely want him to be lying, and I think he is.  He's not very good at lying to me, and there has to be more than that, he's smarter than this.  Cause if they actually felt bad about being on the opposite side of the numbers, fucking newsflash, the majority if waiting right there for them if they want it.  I can't... Anyways, call me paranoid, but I'm like 80% sure I'm going to be voted out.  I fucked up and played a lot more recklessly than I intended too.  I was telling Bridget lots of things I shouldn't, it was like I forgot that I don't trust Bridget.  And I'm crazy sketched out by Erin cause I'm not shy about wanting to be in tight with her, but she's very closed off.  I regret being in an alliance with Carly, cause she sucks.  She wants to keep Maddie so badly, it's kind of annoying.  Also I don't want a ride-or-die alliance of six people, are you kidding me?  And she's acting like because we talked about working with Maddie and Shannon means that it's wrong to think about voting them out.  It's Survivor, things change! Sami is the only one I trust and that's cause I don't have a choice because I HAD to tell her about my idol.   I talked way too much, and basically threw three very nice people under the bus carelessly.  They need to go, everything I said was true, but I could have done it more gracefully and I know that. The biggest problem is that I have no relationship on my tribe that feel like genuine trust.  I'm forcing it with everyone and it's not going over well.  I spread myself very thin across people, and don't have a solid foundation to turn back too. Regardless, no one would really give me an actual decisive answer on who they wanted to vote out; Maddie or Shannon. And now that we've picked Maddie, Carly is being shady as hell and I don't like it.  I get bad vibes from Erin right now too, and Bridget.  Tribal is in a few hours, and I really have no one to blame but myself for this mess.  I played it pretty low-key all day, but standing quietly in the grave I just dug myself probably didn't work. I have the idol but...I think playing an idol at the third tribal is a waste.  There is no chance of getting further after that. Also, if I am just paranoid then it'll be wasted and I've made myself target number one. It's too soon to change up the game, or to gain control.  It's too soon to make a move like that, honestly I'm not really having that much fun anyways. I know it sounds insane, but I might give my idol to Teddy for the vote and I know he'd give it back afterwards.  Just because if Sami turned against me, then fuck her. And with the situation that Teddy is in, I would honestly LOVE to see what he could do with an idol that no one knew about.   I trust my gut a decent amount, and it's telling me something is off.  Shannon and Maddie haven't talked to me at all, which is especially weird because Maddie briefly chatted with me about voting on Pris yesterday...RIP

Everyone's stories about who knows what, and who said what are different.  Betting they're all some liars.  Fuck.

If Lydia goes home tonight I will cry. I agreed to play this game to put Egypt behind me and this is becoming a complete repeat where I'm in a 4 person alliance that isn't as tight as it seems and I end up screwed over and in the minority for the rest of the game....Please no. I just wanted this time to be different.....  

How the hell did Owen hear that I said he was trying to start a cross alliance and told me to target Shannon? I sure as hell never said that. But fuck my game right up, wow... This time aint even my fault. This is what happens when most of the cast has shit for brains and big goddamn mouths.

  Audio Confessional #1

Audio Confessional #2

[survivor-riau]

Episode 2: ‘Bintan Tribe is the Best Tribe’ - Pat

Soooooo happy we won immunity! But what I'm not happy about is I spent hours playing that first challenge so I can make a statement that I'm not a weak player on the tribe and I think I was still only 3rd to last?? Damn... Well the important thing is we still won.

-

Now I may not have a big alliance yet, but my social game must really be on point due to the fact that now on day 2, Trevor offered to give me the answer to the Idol! Of course he doesn't know I already have it. But at least there's something to say that people are at least willing to trust me enough and have the idol be in my hands.

-

I just had a lovley conversation with Trevor over a skype call. He filled me in on a bunch of stuff he's gathered over these few days. And it's great to know that he also feels like Teddy would make a great ally to us. So we brought up the discussion of myself, Trevor, Teddy, and Daniel workikg together. I feel really confident in this bunch. Just as long as we can solidify it! As I expected tho, there is another group of people working together in the game (I can't remember the names lol) and evidently they inintially did plan on voting me out second after I lose my immunity. Which I guess is all totally expected but I feel confident in my social game and things are always changing here, so anything could happen but I'm going to remain as optimistic as I can. Because this thing is not over yet.

VERY impressed with the pace of the game early on. These returning guys come out PLAYING. I've got my three-person alliance between Teddy and Trevor already facing some cracks. I think I'm the glue keeping that together for now. Trevor and I are solid, Teddy and I are solid. Teddy and Trevor? I'm sensing some distrust there. But I don't think they'll be letting that impact the game early. Something that's just developing as I'm typing this: a potential four-guy alliance with Josh, Connor, Teddy and myself. Only one I haven't chatted with a lot in there is Connor, but that'd be all the more reason to try and get in more there. Should give me some security in the early vote, too. Also know Connor and David are tight, so we'd probably have his vote by proxy early on. David's another one I'm not super tight with. That's something that I'm working on right now, too. I like him — we just haven't talked much yet. Then I've got a good vibe from Owen. Nothing concrete yet, just an agreement that we'll let each other know if our names come up early on. And even though I've agreed with Teddy and Trevor that we'll need to get rid of Tyler early (hoo boy that's a lot of T names in one sentence. Let me try that again:) Trevor, Teddy and I agree: Tyler needs to go as soon as he's eligible. Not because he's a newbie, but because he KILLED it in his ORG games. And he's obviously smart, and VERY likeable. If I hadn't already pinpointed him as a major threat, I'd be inclined to work with him. Daniel? Another damn solid dude. One of my closest one on one allies. But I hope he's been working other people too, because he could end up being a casualty just by virtue of not having many tight bonds. The other two, Elliott and Fang, I haven't spoken to much. Elliott's obviously got some shit going down in his life that I hope get sorted out. But I also felt it was a bit hard to have any kind of conversation with him. Didn't give me a ton to work with. And that goes double for Fran. It was like pulling teeth. I don't know if it's a lack of things in common, a language barrier, a cultural thing or what. But I haven't had any luck conversing with him yet. That's the guys. On the girls' side, without going into too much detail on what is already a long confessional, I'm digging the vibe I get from Lydia, Sami, Carly and Pris. Have a loosely-defined secret alliance with the latter two should we get to merge, and I'm definitely gonna be looking out for Sami whenever I can because she's a straight up bro. Sis? What's the gender neutral term for 'really fucking cool person'? ...actually, I guess 'really fucking cool person' works. Anyway, despite being on good terms with those four, I definitely need to take advantage of One World and talk to the girls more. That, I think, is my game's huge weak spot early. Otherwise, all systems are go. Bintan tribe is best tribe!

Josh just told me that Pat and Teddy view Connor and I as a pair! That's fucking awesome! That's amazing! That's fantastic! Although it was inevitable and not far from true, it's one thing to expect it, and another to know it.

Can Carly stop talking? She's mentioned making a freaking 10 person alliance like what are you doing. I like the girl but she can't keep her mouth shut.

Right we're a few days in and it's really fucking obvious that I am NOT good at floating.  I can't float.  I either sink or swim.  Honestly, it'd be very helpful if the people on my tribe weren't such a hot mess.  I'd be fine if they weren't trying to make alliances, or if they actually knew how to make an alliance! But no, Carly is a hot mess, I am so mad at myself for ending up in an alliance with her.  It's awful, it's so messy.  A six person alliance is too much to deal with.  There are other ways to control votes without being like 'JOIN MY GROUP'

But I can't just tell her to chill, or really tell her anything at all cause I'm supposed to be unassuming. I honestly feel like I can't pull this off, and it'll be the reason I go.

Now that I actually have time and am looking at the past hangman boards, I feel the first two boards have been solved. The guy's board was embarrassingly easy, and ours looks like it was something like "first to get the __t" sooo it's very likely it was solved. There's no way someone guessed a wrong letter on that unless they were trying to sabotage it. And Lydia is over her, looking up Survivor phrases and hangman solver websites and such, saying that she's "still confused" on what the first board was yet she could easily tell what the boy's one was? I don't know if I buy that. So I'm just going to sit here like I believe her (which she may be telling the truth, anyway) because she's not about to tell me if she solved it.

I really can't believe we lost immunity. From what Lydia was telling me the girls shelter was a train wreck. Anyway, the vote seems to be set on Fran. He hasn't talked to anyone since day 0 and only now starts messaging people when we have to go to tribal. Seems like a newbie mistake and not something a returning player should do. *cough*Elliott*cough*. I am kind of regretting making an alliance with Pat as I feel a lot closer to Tyler now.   Oh. That fucking cat flag at the girls beach. That must be why they won. Lame. Our shelter has Lamborghini doors.

okay so this is my first confessional wooooo but yeah, basically the first few days happened, nia left, pointless week, nothing really happened at all so no point in talking about it. so today the immunity results for the shelter making challenge got posted and we lost. comparing to the girls, ours looked like a piece of shit, it didn't compare, whatever, so now we're going to tribal. basically everyone decided at first to vote out fran, which i was fine with until i got information from a source telling us that pat and teddy were actually playing both sides and basically confirmed that if we decided to vote out fran tonight then david, josh and myself would be fucked in terms of numbers. so the three of us + daniel talked about making a move on pat/teddy and agree that for us being the outsiders, it's what's best for us in this game. to do this we needed one more vote + fran's to ensure either pat or teddy go home. we talked with tyler, he's on board, and because he's a newbie i feel he will want to work with us being the underdogs in the tribe so yeah that was sorted, then we worked on fran. basically we're letting him know that if he doesn't vote with us, he's going home, and that he needs to lay low for the day and not talk to anyone so no one gets suspicious. i'm really nervous for this vote, but to sum it up it hopefully will be a 6-5 vote in favour of teddy/pat leaving (we haven't decided as of now) and although it would be drawing a clear line in the sand, it's what's best for the us knowing that this will probably be the only chance we can get numbers on our side. so yeah, if this doesn't work then i'm fucked, i just hope everything runs smoothly and if fran wants to actually stay here, he should just shut up and do what we say. so yeah, that's all. hopefully i'll still be here tomorrow to write another one of these, if not i'll riot. okay bye (:

One second I'm thinking this is going to be a unanimous vote, the next I'm probably voting for Pat in 6 - 5 vote, my god lol. I'm really nervous about not telling my good friend Trevor about who I'm really voting for but I feel like this new core group could really help me in this game. Well at least for now!

[survivor-riau]

Episode 1: #RIPNia #WastedPotential -Josh

Let it be known that I was the first to realize it was guys against girls.

ok hey so I literally am so nervous. I see the cast and I am immediately intimidated by everyone. Also, NO ONE FROM MATSU IS ON THIS SEASON. I am actually alone so I am freaked out. To be honest, it might be a good thing that no one form Matsu is on this season because then no one has any preconceived thoughts of me. I just really want to play. I find out that the tribes are split by gender and I am kinda ok with that. I would love to see diversity because I think I bond better with females BUT its ok. I do some digging and I find out that most of my tribe is over the age of 21.... which is kinda fucking awful for me. Older people will literally see right through my bullshit so I think I am just going to lay extremely low. If I am seen as a non-threat then I think I can skate by for a longtime. Ok so this is it for now... good luck me!

Ok. So. Whoa. One world, men vs. women. I guess this isn't so bad? I don't really know anyone or what is going on but I will start working on getting these people to like me. So far Teddy, Pat, and I are good. But we need 3 more.

I AM SO PUMPED TO BE PLAYING AGAIN. Dudes. I've legit applied to pretty much every one of these since Olympics ended. Was NOT okay with going out the way I did in Olympics. So, fresh start. Fresh beginnings. Fresh meat. Seems like not too many people followed me super closely in Olympics, which is good. It lets me do a lot of things semi-similarly while letting me course-correct for the mistakes I made last time. And meanwhile, I actually paid attention (more or less) from Kiwayu on. So I've got that going for me, which is nice. So unreally excited about this cast. I've got a lot of good friends in here... on great terms with Carly, Teddy, Trevor, and Sami, all of whom I'd be ecstatic to work with. Also really digging the vibe I'm getting from Josh, Shannon, Bridget, and Daniel. The twists intrigue me. But I don't think they'll make a significant change in my gameplan. I get along pretty well with guys and girls, so the One World thing could MAYBE be an advantage come merge time. But I'm definitely not gonna think that far ahead, because that's a total suicide move. 

 This season, I'm making it a point to have a stronger social game. I've reached out to every single person except Owen and the newbies, who aren't around yet. Will be saying hey to them as soon as I can, though. It's never a bad idea to make yourself likeable early on. (Oh hey, Owen just came around while I was typing this.) 

 PAT: *picks this confessional back up after leaving it sit for a few minutes* 

Definitely picking up on what Owen's throwing down, too. Seems pretty cool. That's five people on my tribe I'm liking (plus myself, that's a majority.) And I've chatted with the others a little bit... but it's obviously not easy to nail down alliances (or even who you want to work with, really) this early in the game. ANYWAY. Really beyond excited and thrilled and super pumped to play and to be cast on (what was initially touted as) an all-star season. Promise I won't let you down, fans!

Okay okay quick day zero confessional! I'm hosting Back to Basics: Amazon right now, which started with the gender split, too. And I was honestly just saying about a week ago that I didn't think I would do well on a boys vs. girls seasons since I get along so much better with guys rip. But we'll see!! First impressions: Kyra - I already know her from Amazon and, while she may play differently in a main season, she kind of just does what she's told and has even called herself a goat. So that could be good in terms of numbers. 

 Lydia - I really like her! We instantly bonded over various TV shows so yay 

Catherine - She also seems very sweet, and has said multiple times that she's too trusting. I'm too trusting, and I know that, but I sure as hell don't go around telling everyone else that? So not sure if she's just saying that or if she really is too trusting. 

 Sami - I think I'll like her? 

 All the other girls - who knows 

 Josh - Again, I know Josh from Amazon and I love him. 

 Teddy - We both rooted for each other in our seasons so yay :) and I hope I get to work with him in the future 

 Pat - I like Pat a lot too and hope we can work together! 

 All the other boys - I don't know! 

I'm excited to talk more gameplay with everyone, though, and I think this one world twist should work in my favor since I'm much more of a social player than a comp threat! I just have to be more low-key and not as honest as I was in Machu Picchu!!

Why did I wanna play again so soon? I'm way more nervous than I need to be on day zero, and I'm pretty sure it's cause the end of my last game left some paranoia that I haven't gotten over.   This girls vs. boys thing might not work out so good for me.  I figured that an all-star season would be much more fast pace than the last time I played, so I'm gonna say it's not a great sign that no one has really started strategy talk with me. I don't know anyone on my tribe though, and I know the rest of them are saying they don't know anyone else, but that would be a miracle cast and I'd be surprised.  Cause I actually know a pretty decent amount of the boys which is insanely frustrating.  I think the long-term goal is the meet up with Teddy and Trevor, and as nice as that sounds that's a long way away.  The chances of that plan going smoothly are real slim, and I'd much rather put together a strong alliance here, and play that way for maybe as long as I can, we'll see. But I feel as though I didn't make a huge impression on anyone right off the back, so I might be tacked onto an alliance and hopefully the right one wants me? I do like a lot of the girls on my tribe so that's cool.  Sami is the shit, I know I want to team up with her already, but I think the first night is too early to really bring it up. I like her a lot, we have A LOT in common, so I'm going to just wait and see what happens after the challenge.  Also, I think Bridget is really nice and I really wouldn't mind working with her later on. The only person who I've met before is Erin, we've talked twice, so I'm not even sure it counts. I've heard so many conflicting opinions of her recent game, I've decided they all cancel out and she's added to the list of players who I have no idea what to expect from.  Which is literally all of them.   I feel like nothing has happened which makes me think I have no idea what's going on.  I guess I'll see what happens tomorrow, and I probably shouldn't worry about the first vote too much.  Honestly, I'm just going to be hoping to see some inactivity or a blown challenge score to single out an easy target...

I decided to make an alliance with Pat as my #1 ally.  I feel like I know him enough to somewhat trust him and that he doesn't know anyone else very well. Hopefully the two of us can work together throughout the run of the game and I don't feel like he is that big of a threat that I wouldn't be able to beat him in the end.  But is that true? We will see.

OH MAN! Oh man, oh man, oh man. So it's One World. And it's ladies vs. dudes. And there are two newbies with immunities whom I haven't heard a peep from whatsoever. And it's hangman for the hidden immunity idol. You guys, I'm all kinds of excited. Everyone here has been crazy nice so far and I love being able to talk to everyone playing, not just the cool ladies in my tribe. I'm so hyped to get to this first challenge though. So sossoso hyped. And ready to kick butt for the Beyonce tribe.

(first maddie confessional of the season aye i think I'm doing this right) hey! ok so I'm so glad to be back and I'm even happier that i get to be back with people i already know! I'm taking this season in and getting back into the swing of things finally. i'm even going outside of my comfort zone and i took a stab at the idol hangman board. apologies for the boring confessional everyone...more to come.

Pretty bummed I just missed out on that first immunity. I should have had that, but I spent too much time being distracted. If I'd have focused on it right off the bat, I'm sure I would have found it. No sense beating myself up over it, though. Just hope we can find out who has it sooner than later. So far, I've ruled out Owen/Teddy/Trevor/Dan/myself.  Probably safe to rule out Connor, who asked what he'd just woken up to. Disadvantages of time zones, right? Half the tribe... that's a good start, right? That leaves Josh/Owen/Fran/David/Elliott. I'm good with Josh and laying the seeds of an alliance with Owen, who seems like a really smart person and someone who'd be great to team up with... although, I have to be careful not to spread myself too thin, eh? Anyway, I think Owen would tell me if I asked at some future point. Not gonna force the point though, because that just looks shady. Ditto with Josh, but the way he's talking makes me believe he doesn't have it. As for the other three... not super close with any of them yet. But, I don't think anyone has any ill will toward me yet, which is a major plus. That leads me to something I wanted to mention: in the Bintan tribe alone, I'm in good with Trevor and Teddy. When he wanted to make sure he understood the idol stuff, Daniel came to me to chat. When he wanted to make sure someone would text him if his queue didn't post, Owen came to me for help. I don't know if I just have one of those personalities where people feel comfortable with me, or if it's people playing the long game by trying to earn my trust early. But either way, I like my position in the early game. Definitely very comfortable at the moment. Can't let myself STAY comfortable, because that breeds complacency. But for now? I'm a'ight.

Here I am again. Why did I do this to myself? People talked me into it. They said they loved my i Egypt and here I am. Willingly subjecting myself to anxiety again. AND THE BEST PART IS IS THAT T*DDY IS HERE ARE YOU FFFUUUUCCCCKKKKIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGG KIDDDINNNGGGGG MMMEEEEEEEEEE IIIII HHAAATTTEEEEE MMMMYYYYYY LIIIIFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEE. IS THIS AN ADVERSARIES SEASON OR WHAT?! You'd think Lydia and I would get a long bc of Rachel but its not really the case. She attacked my game when i got voted off Egypt and I didnt appreciate it. I'm willing to put that aside to work with her but we'll see I guess. As for everything else I don't have an opinion. I cant focus on anything else other than the monster on the male tribe that is probably already slandering my name. I still haven't unblocked him....will Erin survive this One World season without talking to one of the players?! STAY TUNED FOR SCENES FROM OUR NEXT EPISODE...

I'm not gonna lie I never thought I was ever going to play a tumblr survivor season and what do ya know? I'm here with 20 other returnees and one other newbie and I'm not gonna lie I am just a little nervous about this. I knew playing this season was gonna come with a high risk but I'm really up for that challenge! Time to work my social game like crazy! And Its barely 24 hours into this game and the survivor gods are already blessing!! Lord knows I need some friends and an extra idol in my back pocket, and thanks to my new friend Daniel I have some extra protection now. I'm definitely gonna stay loyal to Daniel at this point as I need to find a way into this tribe. Plus he seems like a really nice guy and I enjoy his company :)

   (I tend to write confessionals in bulk now lol) Oh hey! I'm back for the third time! Coming in this game I think I have an advantage with the fact that my last season was 10 seasons ago. Anyway, here I am! I'm so stoked! I was already in "game-mode" since the night before! I even made a list of who I think got cast! I got introduced along with Catherine. Catherine and I are so close and I don't think everyone else in this cast know that except for probably a handful of people. One of my big fear is that me and Catherine are going to be seen as one and the fact that I think no one knows that me and her are close is an advantage for us. Unfortunately, we're put on the same tribe. At first I thought, of course, they won't put me and Catherine on the same tribe again. Turns out, it's Male vs Female. On the Bintan tribe, it's me, Connor, David, Daniel, Elliot, Owen, Pat, Teddy, Trevor and a new person named Tyler. I talked to Pat and Connor the most today. Me and Pat bonded over music and the fact that he's a freelance Graphic Designer too. Me and Connor already know each other and are pretty close after Kiwayu finished. I think me and Teddy are in an "unofficial" alliance too. Like, nothing's been said yet but...Anyways! A few hours after the whole cast is announced, Tyler arrived. He messaged me and he says he knows me. Must have recognized me from my lousy performance on the ORG lmfao. We bonded over that and I think it's good that he knows I played on the ORG because I think he'll be drawn to me. I plan on staying close with Tyler for now. So right now I think I'm good with Connor, Pat, David, Tyler, Daniel and Teddy. So I have 6 people that I have bonded with. That's my ideal alliance at this point. I don't know about Trevor just yet. He seems cool but I don't know yet. Me and Connor were thinking about a Kiwayu-Galapagos alliance. That's going to be my core alliance at tribal phase. We are going to extend that and pull in Catherine and Shannon in that alliance. I started talking to Shannon today and bonded over Super Smash Bros. lmao. I'm gonna give Catherine the heads up. I already filled her in on how Connor and I wants to create the alliance. To sum up, I have an alliance with Pat, something with Teddy, an alliance with Connor and David, a cross tribal alliance with Catherine and I'm going to make another one with Bridget and Kyra. We'll see what happen next!!

oopsie I forgot this. Yall like this shit right? ;00000000 

First Impressions: 

Bridget: LOVE HER!! I'm so happy she's here we just recently became friends so it's nice that she's here and to know that there's someone that I can trust! Carly: ....iCarly. She likes Gibby. 

Catherine: whom??? kidding! DUH! Me and Catherine go way back (like 11 months ago LOL) We're staying #PinzonStrong 

Connor: I'm close with this guy outside the game but we hardly talk anymore. I'm glad he got cast. I wanted to play with him. Finally a person that's almost in the same timezone as me! 

David: He's fun but sometimes I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not. My sarcasm detector is broken. 

Daniel: I have him on snapchat. I like his music taste! 

Elliot: Elliot is such a mystery. I voted him out on Bonin and U-Turned him on TAR. When I voted him out on Bonin, he posted on the tribe chat asking why we voted him out. Maybe if you actually talked you'd get a shot? He seems to be doing it again. Most of the people I talked to mentioned that they havent talked to Elliot. :\ 

Erin: I thought she was Kiwayu Erin. I havent talked to her. 

Fran:I havent talked to him that much because of his timezone. 

Joshua: Shady af. I don't trust him. 

Kyra: I FREAKED OUT WHEN I SAW HER ON THE CAST REVEAL. She's so fun I like her a lot!! 

Lydia: I don't know that much about her yet. 

Maddie: I was aligned with her at one point in Bonin but she's so paranoid and messy. I hope she learns her lesson this time. 

Nia: She hasnt accepted my contact request yet. Owen: He seems like a fun guy. Haven't talked to him much tho. 

Pat: C.....ANA...DI.A...N TW.INNI.......E. We both like the same bands, love bad puns and is a freelance graphic designer!! How cool is that??? This guy is so cool I want to be like Pat when I grow up. 

Priscilla: I see in her wiki bio that she likes playing games. That's cool I guess? 

Sami: I'm a huge fan! 

Shannon: She reminds me of Rosalina...for some reason. Yes, it's because I know she plays Smash and has blue hair. 

Teddy: Fun guy! We were aligned in TAR until him and Benji were eliminated a few days ago. I really hope his trust in me carries over in this game.

Jesus Fucking Christ, what am I doing? Okay, I love Sami and I want to work with her for a very long time if I can, I really feel like I can trust her.  Erin is very smart, and is a really good ally to have, but I'm not sure about her ability to pull together good moves, because she talking about trying to get Trevor to take out Teddy, idk it seemed messy.  But those two girls I would like to keep very close, and then Carly is cool, I like her as a person.  So when she randomly sent me a message saying that Sami and her both want to work with me and Erin too, it felt pretty lucky.  Until I got in that chat.   First off, The Spice Girls is the worst alliance name I've ever heard, there aren't even five of us, makes no damn sense.  Secondly, it'd be cool to have a majority group, but Carly should NOT be in charge of human resources.  The way she approached me was alarming, and luckily I was already working with both those people she mentioned.  But I have a feeling her plan to get more people is to just straight up ask them if they wanna join and put them in the group chat, that already had most people in it, and expect them to feel comfortable.  Not smart.  Maybe that would work with someone who is playing on the downlow at the moment.  But she wants to pull in Bridget and Kyra who aren't really playing lowkey at all! It's just that, they're both clearly really active, very connected, and intelligent.  They would know if they are just being tacked onto a group as an after thought. I think having someone you are close to when you start the games gives enough of a comfort level that they will want to put together their own group.  We can't just tell them about our alliance and be like 'hey be one of our numbers', which I feel like Carly would do since she did that to me. I think it's best to leave them out completely.  But the last time I wanna start this game doing is making any kind of group decision.  I was just hoping I would find someone who could make good groups for me. Also, I'd really love to have someone else in the alliance who made it far.  All these early boots together make me nervous, so I'm going to try and talk to Shannon more.  I know she won, and has a fuckton of connections on the guys team, but Pris is near impossible to talk to one-on-one.   The last thing I need to be in is a minority alliance with messy people, but that's where it is right now.  I'm trying really hard to play low-key and not even sorta appear like the leader.  But it's hard when I was third pick of an alliance that has someone sloppily taking control, and I feel on the outs with everyone else.  Honestly, it would have been cool if someone wanted to tack me onto the bottom end of a majority alliance for a bit. I could have worked with that a little bit easier.

Honestly. Who doesn't guess vowels on hangman? Everyone knows that's the first thing you do, ESPECIALLY when you only get four missed letters! Come on, people.  

I was really enjoying the newbie twist until we all realized ours was MIA and probably the reason we lost the first challenge. HRMPH. Super glad that immunity was reneged for not submitting a score, because it makes the first vote that much easier.

So we've officially lost the first immunity challenge. I had a feeling it was going to happen, but the fact that Nia didn't post at all sealed the deal. At the moment, I'm not entirely sure of my stance within the tribe. I have a feeling that Kyra and Bridget are working together. I've talked to most people on my tribe but haven't solidified any strong relationships with them besides Shannon. As of right now, we have an inter-tribe alliance between David, Connor, Josh, Shannon, and myself (Wes' Children Alliance). However, that still leaves Shannon and I alone on our tribe. I'm hoping to talk to her about maybe trying to pull in some other people for now that way we're not on the bottom of the tribe. At least our first vote should be easy. If everyone does what they say they're going to do, Nia should be the first person voted out. Fingers crossed that this doesn't end in a disaster.

Okay so where are we at so far? Connor has deemed me his ride or die for the season so I guess that makes me Erin Zus 2.0 which is the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me. I am willing to go far in this game with Connor but I'm also not afraid to cut him loose if it becomes necessary. He'd throw a temper tantrum but he can deal. I'm in the Kiwapagos alliance but that does really make me feel safe since we'd be such an obvious target. No one's really talked game to me yet but I'm getting along well with Trevor and Tyler so we'll see where that goes.

Woo hoo! We won immunity! Only my second tribal win ever :P I'm glad I'm not going to be the first boot. I'm kind of wondering if Nia is even alive? Anyways. I've made an alliance with Tyler. I know a lot of people are targeting him because e is a newbie but he is really nice. I figure it would be good to have him as a vote on my side just in case. I don't like Fran and Elliott because they hardly talk. They gots to go.

sooo i just tried to make an alliance with carly LMAO 

[2015-08-11, 10:49:23 PM] ♥small musical goblin♥: psst 

[2015-08-11, 10:49:28 PM] Carly: :) 

[2015-08-11, 10:49:29 PM] ♥small musical goblin♥: i know what was guessed already 

[2015-08-11, 10:49:36 PM] Carly: What haha 

[2015-08-11, 10:49:57 PM] ♥small musical goblin♥: only if u promise to be in an alliance with me! :o 

[2015-08-11, 10:50:05 PM] Carly: Lol what! 

[2015-08-11, 10:50:23 PM] ♥small musical goblin♥: r 

[2015-08-11, 10:50:30 PM] ♥small musical goblin♥: it was me that guessed that wrong lol 

[2015-08-11, 11:22:26 PM] ♥small musical goblin♥: sooo did u wanna make an alliance? i mean if u dont wanna no hard feelings 

lol soooooo idk if this is gonna bite me in the butt.... but!!! i did make an alliance with pat! so i hope that works out!!

Day two of confessionals here we go. Nia sucks. Had she submitted a score of at least 50-60k, which isn't that hard, we'd have won. I guess you have to get rid of dead weight eventually, I'd prefer it to not be this early. Now I'm sure Nia's a nice girl in real life and everything, she's just a terrible player. Not to mention I got the second highest score in the tribe, which is a HUGE achievement for me. I normally do terribly. Not this time I guess. (We had nia to thank for that). Also, still no thoughts on the idol. Deuces.      

Not gunna lie....I was looking forward to playing with Nia. She'd be an easy number. She'd be looking for someone to grasp onto because she's clearly on the outs. But it makes no sense leaving an inactive person in the tribe because we'd lose every time. Ugh..                                                                                                                         

The Wes' children alliance is now official. The Wes' Children alliance is me, David, Catherine, Connor and Shannon. David, Connor and I are planning to have a majority alliance in Bintan tribe and we plan to take Tyler, Pat and Daniel. The core alliance is Me, Connor and David and we each get one person who we're close to and bring a group together. Catherine gives me updates from time to time on the events that happen on her tribe. It's an easy vote it seems #RIPNia #WastedPotential. Catherine and Shannon are aligned and Catherine also suspects that Bridget and Kyra are aligned (which she is most likely right). She's also starting to form bonds with Erin and Lydia. If she somehow get that group (Catherine, Kyra, Shannon, Bridget, Lydia and Erin) that's instant majority. I feel like everyone's still sizing each other out. This is honestly so awkward. I feel like people are still scared to strategize and stuff. This is the longest time I've played where I still have no solid alliance in a tribe. I don't count the Wes' Children alliance  because it's a cross tribal alliance. Anyway, we'll see what happen. I hope Connor and David use their magic to rope in Daniel and Tyler.  

Voice Confessional

[survivor-riau]

Final Tribal Council: A winner is crowned

These past few months have been quite a long time but I’m sure you are all anxious for it to end!  But you’ll have to wait a little bit longer as we move this Final Tribal to the VIP chat to see the results with your cast mates, friends, and family.

-leaves the Final 2 to the wolves-

Thank you all for this fun season of Tumblr Survivor!  It had many twists turns, and most importantly emotional blindsides and betrayals when the time came, but it is now time to wipe away those tears and crown our 27th Winner.

Lydia and Pris you are the Final 2 (incase you’ve forgotten) and in this urn is nine votes.  These are votes for a winner.  You want to see your name written down.  

I’ll read the votes.

Pris.

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Pris: This is not a ‘bitter’ vote. This vote sends a message and makes a point to the TS community. I hope you get to celebrate with sexy time with Will tonight.

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Pris: If you would've told me in the middle of this game that I'd be voting for you, I wouldn't believe it. However, you were never a target and managed to stay friendly with everyone who was friendly with you. Kudos and congrats :)

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Pris: No matter what people say about your gameplay, you made it to the end, and you did it without stabbing anyone in the back. Congratulations!

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The Winner of Tumblr Survivor: Riau Islands:

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Pris: You impressed me with how you handled FTC well enough to earn my vote. Congratulations!

Pris: Yeah quite obvious. Whatever you did or didn’t do girl, it worked. Congrats.

Pris: Coming into this vote, I was actually pretty torn between who to vote for. In fact, part of me still just wants to vote for Erin. However, you guys’ answers to the jury questions did make this decision easier. I feel one of you proved yourself with your answers, and the other one let us down. Lydia, you claimed no one asked you questions about your strategy so you didn’t get to explain it, but that is exactly what my question to you was. Pris, you kinda danced around my question.

Pris: GET IT. Your self-awareness and honesty in your answers (plus Rascal<3) make me more than happy to vote for you tonight as the winner of this season! Congratulations, lady!!

Pris: You know, I actually had a pretty hard time deciding my vote tonight, because I really had valid reasons to vote for either of you two. However, I’m voting for you tonight because our strategies were pretty similar, and you managed to make it here with pretty good relationships with all of the jurors which is pretty cool! Congratulations!

Congratulations Pris!  You’ve not only beaten your original placement from Ireland and won but you are the only Ireland player to come back and win, the second unanimous winner, and was only 1 vote away from playing a perfect game (thanks Maddie).

Stay tuned for your confessionals to be released!

[survivor-riau]

Thank you and Pris and Lydia; you’ve done as much as you can in this game. That was an interesting Tribal Council indeed, but it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for jury.  It is time to vote.

Remember jury, you are voting for a winner.  Please submit your votes to the blog to be counted.  You must vote for either Pris or Lydia, and please provide them with a voting confessional on why you are voting for them.

Also please keep your vote to yourself.  Don’t discuss it with members of the Final 2 or anyone outside the game.  Vote discussion belongs in the jury chat and the jury chat only.