Self Healing 💁🏻❤️

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This one is for the grandpa and grandma I never met. This one is for all the lives, sacrificed, for me to be here today. This one is for my mommy and daddy. This one is for all the women. This one is for me! #keepmovingforward #hmong #hmoob #classof2019 #ucdavis #aggies #firstgen #secondgenbaby https://www.instagram.com/p/BywrNz2h3LY_pnF_4iWaBY2z0tu1MwUjECA_vU0/?igshid=1vk64dhj7iria

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Love... it’s been rough. I haven’t had the best relationship with you. Broken love, friendships, kinship, and... But in the end, I’ll still choose love. Shout to Sheng Vue for designing this beautiful shirt. Go support her work! #keepmovingforward #staybeautiful #bejealous #stayhumble #bekind #chooselove https://www.instagram.com/p/BxFs0DvF8Fy/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=mfr24m7i1xk8

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You want the truth? Oh wait, you can’t handle the truth... I’m so glad I have such a loyal family here at UC Davis (Not all of them are in the photo 😥). When we come through, we COME THROUGH! We practiced giving so much grace this passed weekend and I’m so proud of all y’all! 🥰 — Don’t project your insecurities and your flaws onto me because you don’t wanna take the blame for things. I know my worth and my value, and you can’t bring me down. Try... I dare you 🦶🏼 Oh wait, you can’t, interesting... 🤔 Just cause you’re intimidated by me doesn’t mean I need to change to accommodate you. Imma be me, do me, and you’re gonna continue to see me! Stop trying to regulate me and grow up. It’s embarrassing! Stop talking and Starting walking. Smh 🤦🏻‍♀️ #rude P.S. It’s Women’s Month, and you tried to shut out a woman. Check yoself, it’s 2019. 👊🏼 #youknowwhoyouare #keepmovingforward 💁🏻‍♀️ #staybeautiful 🤗 #bekind 🥰 #stayhumble 😘 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu6nDeCF4ST/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fub4zfgnqrpv

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In honor of International Women’s Day! My dad would not be the man he is today without my mom, my siblings, and I 💁🏻‍♀️🥰 #keepmovingforward #bejealous #stayhumble #bekind #hmong #hmoob #sisters #hmongsisters #internationalwomensday https://www.instagram.com/p/BuxPWKRlU3S/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1rygz2e46s4as

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Reading and Writing Poetry has helped me so much. Four Long Years: “About four long years of friendship down the drain. You told her before that your friendships were never sustain. Determined to make this one different, she gave you all she could offer in vain. Yet, you questioned who was going to replace her in the future, not comprehending that it brought her pain. Broken by those words, she built up a wall. Stacking brick by brick, not only to protect her heart, but to conceal the scars. Shattered by your silences, she started to question what she could have done wrong. Blaming herself for something she had no control over, because she truly valued this friendship that she longed. Like a fishing rod, she was always there to reel you back in. But for some odd reason, you kept swimming back, so she let it go. She hopes one day you find a hook, and the right friend reels you in. She can no longer do so, for she was swept away by the current, 7 months ago. It could have been four years… but the doubts you feared, caused everything to end in thin air…” If you know me, you know... So many hypocrites around me... you say one thing to my face, then turn around and do another... thanks for showing me where your loyalty lies. I’m gonna #keepmovingforward and #staybeautiful while you continue to #bejealous 😘💁🏻‍♀️🤗 #bekind #stayhumble https://www.instagram.com/p/BtzlpcZFRKJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1bz9h1pac1uk4

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At my Niece’s Wedding yesterday, and I high key looked BEAUTIFUL! I don’t always compliment myself or appreciate myself for the things I do. Here’s to, 1 Step closer to self love 🥰 #keepmovingforward #bejealous #staybeautiful #bekind #bridenotinthephoto #justsomeofmysisters https://www.instagram.com/p/BteJVhDlzUV/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=efyma7ba237e

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You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, “you’ve hurt me”. Cause you’re coping through you’re own hurt. But that doesn’t give you the rights to continuously use that as an “excuse” to hurt me. People have wronged you, but so have you. Don’t be blinded by your hurt and continuously hurt others. This world has too much pain and suffering, don’t be a part of that cycle. Please use that as an anchor to bring joy to the world, cause it needs it. #keepmovingforward #staybeautiful #bejealous #stayhumble #bekind Shameless plug: apply to be a participant, mentor, workshop facilitator, chaperone, or volunteer! This year’s SEAYC is about “Finding Your Anchor, SEA Within Yourself”!!! Link for more info: https://www.facebook.com/events/506856506502528/?ti=icl https://www.instagram.com/p/BsPuIKHlb_6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1p55w9tzslqp5

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23 is an odd number, but let’s make this year, an even better year 💁🏻‍♀️🎂 #keepmovingforward #staybeautiful #bejealous #stayhumble #bekind https://www.instagram.com/p/BsCwtqvFECl/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=brxumycvvnkd

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Love... whether it’s romantic or not, it still holds the same amount of value and energy... It’ll hold the same amount of pain and suffering... Yeej meem ya yuj yees... Rain Vue - Yuj Yees https://youtu.be/RsH8lAOHzUQ #keepmovingforward #staybeautiful #bejealous #stayhumble #bekind https://www.instagram.com/p/Br7G0aHl5Pa/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=2ago3oa61x9l

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“So no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job's a joke, you're broke. Your love life's D.O.A. It's like you're always stuck in second gear. When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month. Or even your year, but... I'll be there for you (When the rain starts to pour). I'll be there for you (Like I've been there before). I'll be there for you ('Cause you're there for me too).” -FRIENDS Theme Song That’s a Wrap! #fallquarter2018 Goodluck on Finals!!! 🤗 #keepmovingforward #staybeautiful #bejealous https://www.instagram.com/p/BrIwX2cFh-i/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=mdo3uc0ay9s6

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Being the baby of the family has its perks, but it also comes with its greatest struggles. I’m continuing to learn, and growth looks better with a smile. So here it goes 🤗 #bejealous #keepmovingforward #staybeautiful #growth #bekind #staygenerous P.S. Thank you for hurting me. You’ve given me the greatest gift, growth. No, I don’t miss you, but I know you miss me. Cause I’m the greatest (friend/partner/family member/mentor/etc.) you’ll ever have 💁🏻‍♀️ (at Salmon Falls, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqcGPVNF1Tx/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1dgetwx3iv3t6

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Being the baby of the family has its perks, but it also comes with its greatest struggles. I’m continuing to learn, and growth looks better with a smile. So here it goes 🤗 #bejealous #keepmovingforward #staybeautiful #growth #bekind #staygenerous P.S. Thank you for hurting me. You’ve given me the greatest gift, growth. No, I don’t miss you, but I know you miss me. Cause I’m the greatest (friend/partner/family member/mentor/etc.) you’ll ever have 💁🏻‍♀️ (at Salmon Falls, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqcGPVNF1Tx/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8gjqg8ejuq2h

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Give yourself a chance. Give yourself grace. You are human too ❤️😘🤗 #keepmovingforward #bejealous #staybeautiful #bekind #stayhumble https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo1lxDCFZeh/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12c7pp30h3pcn

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How much would you pay to be happy for a day? How would you live your life, if you knew it was your last night? After all you’ve sacrificed, would you still be satisfied? #keepmovingforward #growth 📷:Liam Mayr Photography https://www.instagram.com/p/BoS8wIaluhv/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1u5atq1isjz3s

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Long Post (Reflection) I can’t keep blaming myself because you can’t change. I can’t blame myself for your actions. I can’t blame myself for not being there for you. I can’t blame myself for the way you’ve acted towards me. I’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve done nothing but loved and supported you through everything. And in the end, you’ve walked right out... again... without saying anything... (Left with awkward silence. Left with unsettled feelings. Left with... no words...) I can’t blame myself because I know I’ve done all I could, and I’ve done enough. I can only blame myself for giving you so many chances. I can blame myself for over analyzing and internalizing everything. And I only blame myself for always forgiving you and in the end, always blaming myself. Because forgiveness is a hard thing to do, and it’s something that’s earned, not given. I’ve spent too much time blaming myself over things I couldn’t control. I spent too much time worrying about others and what they want, that I forgot to care about what I want. I forgot that I’m also human and that I need to take care of myself. I thought that those I cared about, cared about me too. My time is precious, and I don’t have a lot of free time. But I will always make time for those who matters to me. But that’s just what I see in any relationship (whether it’s a friend, a partner, a family member, a mentor, etc.). Yet, I don’t see it being reciprocated. And in the end, I’m still by myself, in my room, listening to my music..... and I’m still deemed as the bad person. But this is all a part of my growth. Understanding who should and shouldn’t be in my life is a “work in progress”. I know I’ve had good days and bad days. And nowadays “I’m way too good at Goodbyes”... and it’s okay, I’m still learning to be the best version of myself. This is a continuous reflection... and it’s all a part of my growth 🤗 #keepmovingforward #growth https://www.instagram.com/p/BoLFbNZFhyA/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11nc8jiqr5687

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⚠️ Long Post Ahead 🤗 As I finish up my 4th year here at UC Davis, I’ve realized how much confidence I’ve lost. From being comfortable in uncomfortable places to locking myself up in my room because I don’t have the energy to socialize with people. From making so much time for people to not wanting to hangout with anyone. From trusting so easily to losing faith in so many people... The bright red lipstick I used to wear has faded to nudes, to help hide myself from standing out. Since Winter Quarter, I’ve been trying to build up my confidence again. I started to curl my hair, because I want to feel beautiful for myself. I started to reflect on myself and why I’ve been making excuses for people who don’t deserve to be in my life. It’s been a battle, but I think I’ve come to accept the fact that maybe I can’t hold on to friendships if it wasn’t meant to last. Since the beginning of Spring Quarter, I started to wear red lipstick again, because I missed that confident young lady that I used to be. I started to open myself up again and started hanging out with people, to find out that it was too soon and it wasn’t good for me. Hurtful words were said, emotional scars were left, and trust... was broken again... I started to question so many things about myself and came to the conclusion that I’ve become very numb to my feelings. I see the good in people and I keep giving them chances to only end up hurting myself again. Something so humane can be so difficult for certain people. And to that, I must let go. I can’t keep hurting when to these people, it doesn’t mean a thing. I understand y’all are going through your own things, but when you neglect to understand that you are affecting me too, that’s when I need to step aside and protect myself. I’m still learning to love myself, and I hope all of you are too. 5th year, let’s end with strength and confidence 🤗💁🏻‍♀️💋 #keepmovingforward #staybeautiful #behumble #onemoreyear

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Hi Lee Lo 👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼 Happy Birthday 🤗❤️❤️ It’s been a very long time... and I just wanna thank you for all you’ve done for me 😭🙏🏼. Thanks for being an amazing Big and individual. Thanks for always making time for me and giving me FREE therapy sessions 🤣. Thanks for helping, guiding, and advising me whenever I need support. Thanks for introducing me to your ABG Crew, and giving me a chance to be around great mentors and leaders. Thanks for your unconditional love and support... even when you don’t support my decision, you are still there... supporting. Thanks Lee Lo! Tell your mom and your dad “Thank You” for me! Because of them, I was able to meet you and continue to have you as a Big 😭🤗🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️ I hope you know how grateful I am to have meet you. I also hope you know how blessed I was to have found y’all in college. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without you and your ABG Crew 😘😘 Thank you ❤️