Hi! I really like your writing! It's meaningful and so sweet! Could you do a piece with Rafael and his SO talking about the future after he leaves SVU? Where Barba is too scared to admit he doesn't really know what to do now, but his SO stays positive and promises they'll be okay??
Thank you!! You’re sweet! I’ve had this ready for a while, but I was trying to finish the other request that came in first, but I can’t focus on that one, when I already knew exactly how I wanted this one to go! So here it is!
You had been married to Rafael Barba for about two years now, and you considered the hectic work schedule and constant interruptions of personal time as part of the deal. It didn’t bother you too much, even if you did wish you would get to spend more time with him, sometimes. The night that he came home from the call, you knew something was wrong. He obviously couldn’t talk about it, he wasn’t allowed to talk about work. You cooked him his favorite meal, and snuggled with him and rubbed his back until he fell asleep. (He was a total belly sleeper.)
Then a couple days later, he came home and told you everything. He was so upset that even though you were terrified, and he had possibly ruined both of your lives, you couldn’t be mad at him. So you hugged him, both of you crying, and told him you were right there, that you weren’t going anywhere, and you’d support him no matter what.
The two of you cried and hugged each other so long, you lost all track of time. The two of you tearfully made love, unsure of your next opportunity to do so, and fell asleep in one another’s arms. You woke the next morning to him getting out of bed. You quietly watched him getting dressed, unable to believe how much you still loved him after all this time, and after all you’ve been through.
You tried to memorize everything about him. Every wrinkle, every curve, every grey hair. Worry was etched into his features, and your worry began to rise, and you worked to keep it under control. He needed you to be strong, and you were determined to not become another thing for him to worry about. Try as you might, you couldn’t stop the tears that were quietly flowing.
He turned and look at you when you were in the middle of wiping the tears from your face. “Oh, Y/N,” he said, rushing to your side. “I’m so sorry,” he sighed, as he pulled you into his arms. “I’m so so sorry. I promise I’ll make this up to you. I promise, okay?” You nodded into his chest, unable to speak through the uncontrollable sobs that bubbled up and almost choked you.
When your sobs eventually stopped, you pulled away and wiped your tears, apologizing. You looked into his eyes, which were also full of tears. You reached up and gently wiped the tear that was sliding down his cheek. You put your hands on either side of his face, and gently pressed your lips against his, your tears and his mixing together, leaving a salty taste on your tongue. You pulled away and looked into his eyes. “We’re going to make it through this, Rafael. We’ll get through this together.”
A fresh wave of tears flowed down your faces as he silently nodded. You kissed him deeply again, your fresh tears mixing with his, and rand your fingers through his hair. You made love to him again, with a sense of urgency and desperation. You never wanted it to end, but you knew he had to go. You sat up and watched him get ready again, naked both physically and emotionally. You were feeling so emotionally naked that you reached down and pulled your nightgown off the floor to try to alleviate that feeling, if only somewhat.
He kissed you deeply before he left, and as he pulled away, you could see the pain you were feeling reflected back to you in his eyes. You watched him walk out the door, and when it clicked shut behind him, you collapsed on the couch and began to sob again. You weren’t sure how long you’d been sobbing when there was a knock at the door. You didn’t make any effort to answer the door, because the only person that you wanted to see had his own key.
The knock came again. “Y/N? It’s Olivia! Please, let me in.” You had grown quite close with Olivia over the last several years that you’d been with Rafael. You got up and looked through the peep hole to make sure she was alone, and opened the door to let her in. She took one look at your nightgown, messy hair, and tear-stained face, and she closed the door behind her and pulled you into a tight hug while you sobbed yet again. You took a deep breath, and let go of Olivia. You invited her to sit down, which she did, and offered her something to drink, which she declined.
The two of you sat on the couch and she explained what was coming next. She answered all the questions you threw at her, and then she left you to be alone. Once you were alone, you began to clean your apartment. You cleaned at a feverish pace, with music playing in the background. It didn’t take long to have your apartment spotless.
You showered and changed into sweats, then sat on the couch, turning the t.v. for some background noise. When the news started, you changed your mind, and turned on some music. You were sitting on the couch, lost in your thoughts, when you heard Rafael’s key turn in the lock. In that moment, you determined that you would be strong for him. He needed it, and he deserved it. He had always been your rock, so now it was your turn to be his.
You met him at the entryway with a hug and a kiss. “Have you eaten today? What do you watn for dinner?” “Let’s just order some pizza,” he said with a sigh.
You got dressed up, and Olivia took you to every court date that Rafael had. She and the rest of the squad were so good to you and Rafael. They were the family you never had. They made sure the two of you ate, especially Sonny.
Finally the trial ended, and you cried tears of relief when the “not guilty” verdict was read. It was over. It was finally over, and things could go back to normal. Or, at least, as close to normal as possible. You and Rafael went to dinner with the squad to celebrate.
When you got home, the two of you sat down and had a long talk about what had happened and what would happen next. He told you he was going to leave the DA’s office, and that he was going to clean out his office the next day. You asked if he wanted your help, but he didn’t.
You had one of his favorite Cuban dishes from his childhood ready when he got home with his things from the office. He sat down and poked unenthusiastically at his plate. As you watched him, your heart broke for him. You wished you could help him. You knew that everything would somehow work out, and you tried to figure out how to convince him of that.
That night, neither of you slept well. You couldn’t sleep for his tossing and turning, and moaning in his sleep. At one point, he began crying out, and you couldn’t bear to listen to his pain. You gently shook him, and he awoke with a jolt. You ran your fingers through his sweat-drenched hair. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. It was just a dream. I’m here, Rafi.”
You pulled him gently into your arms, and he buried his face into your nightgown, trying to hold back the sobs while you ran your fingers gently through his messy hair, murmuring assurances that everything was going to be alright. He inhaled deeply, and turned onto his back, still snuggled close to you. You moved your hands to his chest, and began running your fingers through the hair that grew there. “We’re going to be okay, you know.” He startled slightly at your words, being pulled from his thoughts. He looked at you somewhat skeptically, his fear poorly masked.
For a moment, he silently looked into your eyes, looking for a fear he was certain would be there, but found none, and a brief moment of surprise flashed across his face. “You’re talented, smart, determined, and absolutely incredible in every way, Rafael Barba.” “Y/N...” “No, sir. This is not something you can argue your way out of. I’m right on this one, and none of your sass is going to change my mind, mister. You might as well just agree with me.” He laughed for the first time in weeks, and you felt a surge of love and happiness towards him. He sighed, and you looked at him gently. “Rafi, we’re okay. We don’t have to have everything figured out all the time. Everything is going to work out just fine. I’m right here beside you, no matter what happens. I love you, Rafael Barba.” “I love you too, Y/F/N Barba.” The two of you snuggled close together, tucking yourselves under the covers with a sigh of relief. Everything was going to be just fine.
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