Things Bruce has definitely said to his kids:
“Dick, you are a grown man, get off the chandelier.”
“Do you eat anything other than cereal?“
“Don’t you have your own apartment?“
“Jason, when did you have time to remove the tires from 12 of my cars? … What do you mean you sold all the tires?”
“Jason, you can’t let Damian play with guns“
“Jason, stop trying to shoot your brothers! It doesn’t matter if they are only rubber bullets“
“When was the last time you slept, Tim?“
“No, Tim, you can’t put RedBull in the coffee maker“
“Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne, if you don’t come home for Christmas than Alfred said he won’t make the ham. You had better come home … Yes, the Titans can come too“
“Damian, stop trying to stab Tim“
“No, you aren’t allowed to become Jason’s Robin just because he will let you stab criminals“
“Don’t make me call your mother“
Bonus: Things Alfred has said to the Batfam:
“Master Bruce, it has been three days, if you do not shower of your own free will, than I will be forced to get the hose“
“Master Dick, I will only ask you this once more. Please eat something other than cereal when you are at your apartment. The amount of sugar that you ingest is frankly alarming“
“Master Jason, I understand that you enjoy pranking Master Bruce, however was is necessary to spray-paint the Batmobile?“
“Master Tim, if you do not go to bed of your own free will, than I will have to sedate you“
“Master Damian, If you do not stop trying to kill Master Tim, than I will stop caring for your various pets while you are away with the Titans“
2087
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