sMaSh @sweetmelody - Tumblr Blog

Happy 10 year Anniversary Bubby

You passed away 12.13.14 and there is never a day that I don't think of you. I love you always. Rest in peace.

Today I didn't feel like I wanted to die

for the first time in a long time, I've felt good about myself.

When I got rejected from dental school after thinking I had a great interview - I thought I was worthless. I got 13 rejections and did not understand what I did wrong. But the worst part was, a few days after we couldn't find a heartbeat for my 3 month baby. I was devastated and was looking forward to being a mother, well and a doctor. I was so happy to be a mom, to have a child, to have a purpose. I've been so stuck lately that it's been so fucking hard. This summer has been incredibly difficult and I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. I know my baby is with his ancestors, we named him Benji. My beautiful boy. Mommy loves you so much. I am praying to be with you soon. He is with you, Michael, Carolyn, Mama Lola, Grandma Bebe, Tito Raul - please take care of him for me. This life has taken more from me, every day I've been struggling but now I really just want to live again. I want to do more than exist.

thoughtstherapy

danceswithratstoo

This deserves a reblog!

catchymemes

classycookiexo

capricorn-born

Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today

weaselle

fuck it, i never ever do those “reblog for X, this one really works!” posts, but this one doesn’t have any of that BS, this is just straight up wishing us good things; and then the comment doesn’t even say any of that either. Zero claims on this post, all positive vibes

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

vmohlere

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

Have you thought about dying? I think about it a lot. The way it just happens. How we don't have control over it, the time, the reason, unless you commit suicide. I would like to leave this earth, underwater watching the turtles, fish, rays, whales swim by - I'd be at peace surrounded by beauty. that - or sleeping or doing something courageous -saving people. idk I just know im looking forward to it. :)

hi

hello, hope you are well. :)

hi! is this url uft?

Hey I am so sorry what does that mean?

I'm not afraid to die anymore. I'm actually looking forward to it.

The leaves are the most beautiful before they die.

i've died a thousand times, shed another layer of skin but grew another layer of grief and resilience.

Praise Be.