PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Xuebing Du
occasionally subtle

Product Placement
Not today Justin

oozey mess
Keni

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if i look back, i am lost
One Nice Bug Per Day
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

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@swishykitten
just sim things
I love this franchise.
This may draw you in.
Kids’ Drawings Mom Won’t Be Hanging On The Fridge Anytime Soon
That Buzz Lightyear one would not only be on my fridge - that motherfucker would be laminated.
or Or OR YOU COULD JUST TAKE OFF THE FUCKING LID YOU INBRED
LMAO!!!! Too Soon? 😂😂😂😂
Don’t worry, be happy.
Source: Awwww Pets
*sips tea*
(photo by antmagic1)
this is the greatest thing i’ve ever seen
THIS GIF LITERALLY JUST MADE MY ENTIRE WEEK A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER
He’s just so happy
WHAAAAAA!!!
I’m a copy editor and proofreader. I regularly offer a free sample to new clients (usually the first five pages of our first project together) so we both know we are on the same page with what the client wants and I provide.
I also offer a discounted service where I edit an author’s query letter, proposal, and sample chapters for their agent queries. I obviously don’t do this for free.
I provided a free sample to a new author, who liked my work, but was unhappy with the price I quoted for his full 1,000 page fantasy novel. This happened a few days later.
Client: I got an email from an agent! They want to see my first five chapters! Can you edit those for me?
Me: That’s great news! Sure, I have a special rate for that. That will be (quotes price).
Client: Can’t you just do it like you did it last time?
Me: What?
Client: The free pages you did. Can’t you do that? I can’t pay right now, but if I get a publisher I can pay you to edit the whole thing.
Me: Sorry, those samples are a one-time thing for each client and I only do a few pages. I can’t do five chapters for free.
Client: But it won’t take long! I really need these chapters to be perfect!
Me: I’m sorry. I can charge you half now and you can send a dated check for the rest if that helps.
Client: I GUESS YOU JUST DON’T WANT ME TO GET PUBLISHED THEN! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! I NEED YOUR HELP!
Me: Unfortunately I also need to pay my bills. I hope you do get published though. I hope that for all my clients.
I thought that was the end of that, but 2 days later I got an email from a different address.
Client 2: I hear you do free samples?
Me: Yes I do. I can do 5 pages of your novel up front for free.
Client 2: Okay, here are 5 pages of my novel. Can you get that back to me soon?
Me: I’ll get them finished as soon as possible. Paying clients get priority though and I’m finishing a project right now. I’ll send you the edits next week.
Client 2: Oh I really need them sooner…
Now I’m suspicious, people asking for a sample generally aren’t in a rush. So I open the sample page attachment and, surprise surprise, I find the next five pages of the other clients novel.
Me: I’m sorry, is this (client’s name)?
Client: No.
Me: Odd, because this sample begins where I left off on another sample I did last week.
Client: what are you saying?
Me: (client’s name), I’m not going to do your first 5 chapters for free. I recognize your characters and plot, changing your email address isn’t going to change that.
Client: OH MY GOD, WHY CAN’T YOU JUST HELP ME OUT! EVERYTHING IS ABOUT MONEY FOR YOU! YOU DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT ME.
Me: At this point, not really.
Evidently targeting the “disgraced former dictator“ market.
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Video: Happy Baby Donkey Swings in a Hammock
We all need more happy baby donkey in our lives.
What a class act.
Everybody Should Have As Much Self-Confidence As This Girl
i cant think of a caption for this so heres some other sentence: dont leave your unfinished drink on the bus seat because sometimes i sit there and then i gotta deal with your bottle