She's just a girl & she's on fire.

Hey! I'm an elusive, polarizing creative mind with lots of thoughts and actions.

[sxive-writes]

The "Out with the Old, In with the New" Narrative focuses on the physical transformation and the clearing of space for progress.

Growth often requires making room. These images of the Florissant Valley campus capture a poignant moment in the STLCC Transformed initiative. As older structures are carefully dismantled, we see the architectural "changing of the guard." The demolition in the background contrasts sharply with the sleek, completed lines of the new Nursing and Health Sciences Center in the foreground. This isn't just about clearing debris; it's about clearing the way for state-of-the-art labs, sustainable green spaces, and a modernized learning environment that matches the ambition of our students.

[sxive-writes]

Humble Sililoquy 1

I used to stand at the edge of my own becoming waiting for a nod, a signal, a holy green light from someone who looked certain.

I thought permission was wisdom. I thought hesitation meant humility. I thought shrinking was the price of belonging.

But listen— there is a sound a woman makes when she finally hears herself. It is not loud. It is not dramatic. It is a settling.

A deep, ancestral yes.

I realized no one was coming to crown me ready. No one was keeping score but me.

Every pause I called patience was fear dressed in manners. Every “let me check” was a betrayal of what I already knew.

So I stopped asking.

Not out of arrogance— but out of alignment.

Because the truth is, if I had waited for permission I would still be waiting now, watching braver-looking people live smaller versions of my own dreams.

I learned that discomfort in others is not a reliable compass. That resistance often appears when you are standing on the right ground.

They called it bold. They called it sudden. They called it too much.

But it wasn’t sudden— it was overdue.

I did not become fearless. I became loyal. Loyal to the voice that whispered first before the crowd had a chance to speak.

And now, when I move, I do not ask if I’m allowed. I ask if I’m honest. If I’m awake. If I’m willing to carry the weight of my own choosing.

Because this life— this singular, trembling, sacred life— was never meant to be lived by consensus.

So let them keep their gates. I am no longer waiting outside.

I am already inside the work.

[sxive-writes]

Ode to Women Who Don’t Need Permission

She does not knock. She listens—then enters anyway.

Not because the door was open, but because her purpose was louder than the hinge of doubt.

She learned early that approval is a moving target, and her life is not an audition.

She plants her feet in conviction, not rebellion— there’s a difference. One is loud for attention. The other is quiet with certainty.

She builds without asking if the blueprint makes others comfortable. She rests without apologizing. She leaves without explaining herself twice.

History may call her “difficult,” but that’s only because it was written by those unsettled by women who choose themselves.

She does not wait to be chosen— she decides. And that decision ripples outward, giving other women courage they didn’t know they were allowed to claim.

This is not defiance. This is remembrance.

She remembers who she was before the world told her to shrink, to soften her edges, to ask nicely for space she already occupied.

So here’s to the women who move with divine audacity, who trust the inner yes, who understand that calling does not require a committee vote.

May they continue to go first. May they continue to unsettle systems that depend on their silence. May they never mistake permission for purpose.

She is not waiting. She is already on her way.

[sxive-writes]

Fast Motion Night Full of Stars | 4K Relaxing Screensaver

[sxive-writes]

An ode to Hazel Scott.

[sxive-writes]

Rain: "reds won't take your life but your anger will."

in my mind theres jars in which to live. child of God is my perfection.

[sxive-writes]

in the world of hollywood, Leon Thomas is jesus.

[sxive-writes]

vintage photo of my #ootd hanging on to my wardrobe door. clothes imported from #primarklondon

[sxive-writes]

American life itself is an energy vampire.

[sxive-writes]

in hip-hop, j. cole is jesus. not kendrick.

[sxive-writes]

talked my way into sumn here with chatgpt:

[sxive-writes]

if naxiety is noo i am is yaehh

[sxive-writes]

at this moment in this (american) society, i am in favor of aromantic coupling and partnerships of convenience. i'm in favor of both entering one and supporting those who enter them. it isn't personal, its just the rents due.

[sxive-writes]

I have a strange suspicion that something important is supposed to happen today. i simply don't recall what exactly it is.

[sxive-writes]

prayer 3.25.25

With a humble heart I channel Yahuah, my father in heaven.

When I breathe, I know everything is alright.

This sentiment comes to mind when the meaning of "life after death" is being drawn forth. This sentiment reaps what was sown. It is cyclical inherently and can leave as swift in effect as it was rendered.

Breathing is knowing inherently and without thinking.

I call this the philosophy of "looking forward". This basis of inherency removes thought from stillness. There can be only room for truth in the space of what is still. Movement is present. Movement is not removed from stillness.

Evenly distributing word of intrigue is the profit engine at work.

[sxive-writes]

haiku 3.23.25

my lips are dry, just

like my love life, i wait for

Your face to show more.

my feet, dry bones rest

suspended in air thrust

against cotton lain.

yes, stacks of cotton

where cash-by-the-cloudful was

in its place before.

high up on shoulders

no thought of wasting a meal

competes for its space.

[sxive-writes]

i also make $

I dont have prerequisites to upgrade my lifestyle.