sycamores in winter

[points at book page]

WHO THE HELL IS 'THE PARKING GODDESS BARBARA'???

I'm googling it, and I have found three references: A folk song on Soundcloud, a single tweet from 2014, and THE BOOK THAT I'M READING.

I pull up to Denny's at 2:00 AM to fight Barbara The Parking Goddess out back, but I can't find a parking spot due to every space being mysteriously taken up by a pink Barbie Jeep.

madamemarmot

AHEM. [deep voice] IN CHICAGO, we have The Parking Goddess Sheila (I swear I am NOT making this up - it was told to me in folk process, and now I'm telling you, so..........more folk process). You invoke her at need (ie anywhere other than the burbs) by saying 3 times, "Sheila sits on my shoulder, she doesn't $%^& on my head." Then you look for the parking space. When it appears, you say, "Thanks, Sheila, the nuns are in the mail," because the appropriate offering is nuns. Note: you don't actually have to SEND the nuns, you just say that you will. I can personally attest to the efficacy.

upthewitchypunx

So, Sheila the parking goddess is a pigeon?

IDK about Sheila, but I lived in a complex for a while that had Parking Fairies.

Upon pulling in at the main entry to the complex, you offer something small to the Parking Fairies in exchange for a good parking spot, speaking aloud (they're particularly fond of chocolate, a small bit will do). If a nice convenient spot is empty for you, you give the Parking Fairies your offering by leaving it on the ground next to your car.

You don't leave an offering if they fail to provide you with a desirable spot, this is a transactional relationship. Also, not getting a spot suggests that they may not want what you offered and you should try something else next time.

I've also encountered, once, a reference to an urban goddess called Squat, a patroness of available parking spaces, whose aid can be invoked by chanting three times "Squat, Squat, get me a spot". Not personally tried this one, nor found (or particularly sought) verification that this isn't just one author's UPG.

I suspect, personally, that Parking Assistance Entities are quite localized, and you gotta learn what exists in your current area and/or area of residence, rather than try to invoke Sheila the Chicagoan Parking Goddess in LA when you're from Florida. I'm about 99% sure that my Parking Fairy friends were specific to the one apartment complex and not even generally about at the town level.

#how do i tag this

A helpful guide to disambiguate the differences between Christianity and Heathenry. Written for the newcomer to Norse Paganism.

Some comparative religion for ya. Useful for those getting into Heathenry who come from a Christian background!

#resources

“As a Heathen, Christianity is my enemy!”

Unhealthy

Insecure

Keeps you focused on religious baggage

“As a Heathen, Christianity does not factor into my spirituality whatsoever.”

Sovereign

Independent

Keeps you focused on cultivating your practice

Just in case people were curious, I've heard every explanation for why Loki shouldn't be worshiped and I have a counterargument for every single one.

Here, have the speedrun edition:

"Loki is not a god because he has no place-names named after him."

All this tells us is that Loki was not a god during the period of time the Norse people were still naming things. Loki was venerated as a domestic wight before rising into godhood. He is now venerated as a god in all the Scandinavian countries.

"Loki's not a god because he's jotun/part-jotun."

So is Odin, Thor, Tyr, and a plethora of other deities.

"Loki caused Ragnarok so he's evil."

He did not. Ragnarok was the result of many actions, and it was heralded by a natural disaster; the Fimbulwinter.

"Loki fought against the gods during Ragnarok and is therefore their adversary."

So did all of our ancestors in Helheim. Ragnarok was not an honorable battle, but a tragedy.

"Loki killed Baldr so therefore he's evil."

Only in the Icelandic version of the story. In the Danish version (Gesta Danorum), Loki is nowhere to be seen, and Ho∂r still kills Baldr in that one.

"Loki insulted all the Aesir and should therefore be shunned."

According to Ursula Dronke, Lokasenna was humorous satire and would have been understood as such.

"Loki is ragr and therefore should be shunned."

So is Odin. Let's shun him too.

Moral of the story: If someone's telling you that you can't worship Loki and gives you a reason why, come ask me about it and I'll probably have a counterargument for it.

#loki

herbwicc

Idk what messy witch needs to see this but, you've got annoying wax all over your alter cloth?

1. Wax paper

2. Lay it on the wax and melt the candle wax onto the paper using a clothes iron

3. It's better now.

Boom

You're welcome.

#witch tips

theskepticalwitch

*grabs you roughly* YOU ARE ALLOWED TO ALTER SPELLS AND RITUALS IN ORDER TO SUIT YOUR CAPABILITIES! YOU DO NOT NEED TO FOLLOW STRICT GUIDES IN ORDER TO PRACTICE YOUR CRAFT! *starts to shake you* DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN'T! WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT ENERGY LEVELS AND THAT'S OKAY!

the-darkest-of-lights

Just like cooking, spell and ritual work can be spiced up to your preference to make it better and more personal! :)

In fact, there's only a small handful of times that I've ever gotten really pissed off at a corner of witchblr, and it's always been because someone tells me how MY magic works, based on how THEIR magic works.

I shared an oil that I made, and I had someone tell me "No, it won't work like that, because [long winded tirade about how my two ingredients actually should have been a five day moon-timed ritual with ashes of bible verses and herbs instead, like they do in THEIR practice, which is the CORRECT practice, obvs.]" Despite the fact that I had already tested my two-ingredient oil and had wild success with it.

I shared a book concept that helps with my spellwork, I explained the concept and why I chose to set it up the way I did, and I had someone tell me that ACTUALLY no, that was the WRONG way and I would NOT be able to find success with that because I would just ATTRACT BAD THINGS, because that's how it works in THEIR practice, which is the CORRECT one, obvs. Despite that I had been working with this concept for a while and had already found it useful.

Like, there are many things that I find mild-to-moderately irritating about Witchblr, but the one that really pisses me off is "No, your experience is wrong because my theories about your experience say it can't work."

It's not cute. Knock it off.

Yuuup. My personal biggest beeve along those lines is the chaotes who insist that Sigil Magic Is Super Duper Powerful And Also Easy, and then turn around and shit on other kinds of magic for being "too easy to work" and "lazy" and sometimes insist that they "know" it doesn't work because they tried it once and got nada.

Like ok fam, for one thing I know sigils IN GENERAL work because I have personally seen people get some very impressive magical results using sigil work. However, I also know that sigils DO NOT work for me. Not a bit. I get better results from half-assedly wishing on my birthday candles than I do from very well thought out, done exactly according to the method chaotes prescribe, sigil work. I've tried like five variations on sigil methods and not a single one of them does better for me than spotting falling stars or blowing dandelions. So who the fuck do you think you are to insist that just because something doesn't work FOR YOU that it doesn't work for ANYONE?

The witch is a component in the spell. Substitute a different witch, and the spell may not work exactly the same, or may not work at all. Just like substituting any other component, you're introducing an element of variation when a different person does a spell. And some kinds of spell work just jive better with certain people. It's not a matter of one thing being better or worse in general, or more or less effective, but absolutely one thing can be more or less effective FOR YOU. Figure out what works for you, stop doing things that don't, but mind your business about what other people are doing. Either it works for them to their satisfaction, or they're gonna figure out for themselves that it doesn't soon enough.

upthewitchypunx

"The witch is a component of the spell"

I love that!

catvincent

I’d go so far as to say the witch/magician is *the only necessary component of the spell*. Everything else - yes, everything - can be varied or even removed.

asksecularwitch

I feel this convo so hard.

We've secretly replaced this witch's regular components with Folgers Crystals, let's see if they notice.

It's true. The only component in your spellwork that you can't swap out for something different or remove entirely is yourself. Because if you swap out or remove yourself, it's no longer YOUR spellwork anymore.

Also literally just now realized I forgot to finish my rant with the second point, which is that YOU DON'T GET TO CLAIM THAT YOUR MAGIC STYLE IS THE BEST BECAUSE IT'S SUPER EASY AND ACCESSIBLE AND THEN TURN AROUND AND SAY THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE DOING MAGIC WRONG BECAUSE THEIR TECHNIQUES ARE TOO EASY AND ACCESSIBLE. Either easy things don't work because they're easy and magic has to be hard for some reason, in which case YOUR version of Easy Magic wouldn't work either; OR, easy things in general can work just fine. Pick one.

I mean, I know MY answer, which is that easy things in general can work just fine. But I can respect a different stance to an extent if it's at least internally consistent.

#long post #wise words

moonlite-mania

Some people seriously need to not just read myths, but study the function of myth. If some of ya'll think a story written by men with political and ulterior agendas in a very patriarchal society is "the truth," where's the line on what you believe to be "the truth?" Anyone who writes anything about the gods is now telling the "truth?" What date is the cut off? Which people do you accept and which do you throw out?

The myths aren't the pagan Bible ffs. They were never meant to be, and if you'd actually studied myth, you'd know that.

Anyway, if anyone is interested in understanding the function of (Greek) myth I highly recommend reading Fritz Graf's Greek Mythology: An Introduction. It's a good starting place.

will-o-the-witch

This is true even outside of just Pagan religions. Like, literalism is a minority in religious practice, most stories are meant to capture and describe the basic concept of something abstract, rather than be taken at face value. In Judaism we have literal hundreds of midrashim, many of which directly conflict with each other but are considered more or less equally valid. Literal interpretation of the Torah is only considered to be the most basic level-one approach and not what you desire to stop at. Biblical literalism in the United States has gone off the rails and informs a lot of how many of us approach all religion becuase that’s what we were taught all religion is like, but it’s honestly a really minority opinion in the grand scheme of things. It’s a good thing to unlearn.

giltandgreen

Thor: I mean, what’s the worst thing that could happen?

Loki: Sigyn could tell me she’s not mad, just disappointed.

#norse gods #laugh rule

I don’t like posting works-in-progress but you must understand what I mean when I say this man is bastard-shaped.

(Please do not repost. Ok to reblog.)

For those of you who want to know how I see Loki, have this WIP I posted a while ago.

#art #loki

breelandwalker

Something to remember...

There is no progress without growth.

There is no growth without change.

There is no change without effort.

You must make an effort and be willing to change in order to grow.

Don't expect to be an expert overnight. Put in the work. Do your research. Practice. Make mistakes. Try again.

Do not be so afraid of failure that you forget to try at all.

The point is not to be perfect. The point is to make progress and learn along the way.

There need not be a final goal or ultimate destination. Focus on the journey. That will be your greatest teacher.

Was listening to Wardruna last night when I was struck with inspiration to draw Odin and stick him somewhere on the site.

Out of curiosity I googled the lyrics to the song this morning and guess who it's about.

Oh yeah here's the drawing for those who are curious!

The song was called Vindavlarljod.

#art #odin

Beginner Witch Tips

Fight a God. Just go for it, dude. Why not. If you fail, just keep trying until you either win or the god gives up and moves on.

Learn to cast some protective wards. That god has friends, and they're going to come for you. You best be ready.

Curse your enemies. Do it. Destroy them all. Make them pay. Everyone's like all "Don't start out by cursing people! Boo!" and I'm like, those people should get cursed too.

Try to befriend a Crow. You'll probably fail, but crows are neat.n Why not give it a try?

Pace Yourself. Like sometimes take a break, read a book, and maybe have some tea. You can't just sprint your whole way -- you gotta rest too.

Curse your enemies again. They are your enemies and they deserve it.

Buy a neat hat. Seriously, no one tells you to get a neat hat -- but you should. Neat hats are neat.

I don't know if this is satire or not but in case it isn't let me tell you sth:

1) please don't fight Gods! Like ever! EVER!

2) Learn cleansing banishing and protection

3) Don't do curses! If you don't do enough research, don't know what you are doing or you are not protected THEY WILL backfire

1. Sounds like something a god simp would say. I bet you subscribe to Apollo's onlyfans.

2. I mean, that's already in there, so I don't know why you're repeating it.

3. They won't, and if they do it's a lesson to do it right.

1) that is very disrespectful.

2) curses can be dangerous you shouldn't attempt them unless you know what you are doing

1. Don't slut shame Apollo.

2. Can't know what you're doing until you do things.

1) huh??? First of all when did I? Second of all calling me a godsimp and saying that I subscribed to a god's onlyfans is not okay just because I that you shouldn't fight Gods

2) that does not mean you should put your life in danger you know

1. You said Apollo having an onlyfans was disrespectful. Sounds like you're trying to pick a fight with him. It's okay, I heard he leaves his left side open when he jabs. You got this.

2. If you have harnessed magical power so strong you could kill someone with a curse, you don't need a beginner witch tip post on Tumblr.

3. Numbers are fun!

1) He is a God that's why is said it was disrespectful and He is also one of my Gods and I don't like at all what you are saying about Him

2) my problem is that you advice beginners to curse people. Curses are not beginner friendly

1. I don't respect gods. I fight them. Gods who demand respect are too needy, and I don't time for that. Like it's Friday night and I'm trying to go out with friends, and some god shows up nagging like "You don't make offerings anymore," "Why aren't things like they were when we first met," and "You just used me for my power for that spell!" It's the worst. Get on board and give Apollo a smack.

2. Curses are as beginner friendly as literally any other spell. Why on earth do you think they're more dangerous than anything else. Hell, just lighting a candle you can burn your house down.

1) Gods are not "needy" and they should be respected or at least respect the gods when someone tells you or indicates that they are important to them. And also for the to say that it means that you may have used them. Working with deities is a give and take relationship not just take from hour side you know. Btw if you don't wish to give offering anymore inform the deity that you are going to stop and that you don't want to work with them anymore

2) I can't understand how curses are beginner friendly. Beginners are just starting to learn the basics and curses are not a basic practise. If you are not careful with fire of course you are going to burn the house down

3) I am not continuing this "convo" I feel like it's pointless

1. I feel like you might not fully understand the Hellenic pantheon if you don't think like half of them are cocky bastards who need to get clocked in the face.

2. Why aren't they though? You fuck up a healing spell, you could hurt someone. You fuck up a curse... and nothing happens. "Whoops, I accidentally made my enemy have a great day!" is like the most benign side effect. "Beginners shouldn't curse" is a thing people keep repeating, but I don't think they actually consider the "why."

Like you've never given me a why.

This was an obvious joke post, but beginners should fuck up. That's how you learn. Every mistake I ever made as a young witch made me a better one. Every time I ended up out of my depth, I became more resourceful. The best, real advice I'd give any beginner witch is to jump into the deep end and try to swim. That's how you find out what you're ready for.

That, and find out if any herbs you're working with are poisonous or have any drug interactions.

But that doesn't sound cool to say.

theforgottenages

The absolute GOLD of this post. Not everyone is Wiccan. And non Wiccans don't play by Wiccan rules. And Wiccans need to understand-they do not hold the highest chair in the matter of right and wrong.

Also I'm literally a Wiccan.

theforgottenages

Then I must genuinely apologize, I've never met a Wiccan with your prospective! My experience as a whole with Wiccans has been very negative. It left a sore spot I'll admit. But I'm sorry for how I've put my foot in my mouth this time.

#witch tips #laugh rule #wise words #long post

Don't worry about it. I'm well aware of how many Wiccans are "like that." They drive me nuts too.

(Hell, like twenty years ago, I probably was that bad as well XD )

stormwaterwitch

How I want Tarot to work:

How Tarot actually works:

#laugh rule

“Rushed spells don’t work! Lazy spells don’t work! You have to put your ENERGY and FOCUS into them or you wOn’T gEt ReSuLtS!!!”

I mean. One time I scribbled a sentence on the back of a receipt, stuck it under a tea candle, lit the candle, and then promptly forgot about it two minutes later, and that shit manifested in like six hours, but go off I guess.

Actually, regarding this, since I’m thinking back on it:

Somewhere on my blog, I had made a post about trying to make a grimoire page about communicating with spirits, but that in reality it’s more like [places a candle on the nightstand] [STARTLES] [places it near the window instead because I got a Vibe from my familiar spirit that the candle should definitely be in the window]

Well, that ‘scribbled receipt’ spell was it. It was for someone who had lost a pet (I think their dog got out? I forget who it was, but it was someone here on Tumblr), and I didn’t have time to go through and come up with a Proper Spell, I just needed to Get Shit Done, so I grabbed the first available piece of paper (a crumpled receipt from my pocket) and a nearby tea candle, wrote something specific about ‘so-and-so quickly finds their pet safe’, folded the receipt, and stuck it under the candle. I put it on my nightstand, then got that distinct Vibe from J that I should put it by the window since the spell was supposed to operate like a Beacon to find the dog, and putting it near a window made better sense than near a wall. (They did find their dog. Also it wasn’t six hours, I think it was more like one, but 'that manifested in an hour’ sounded a little too unbelievable for the original humor post above, so I stretched it a bit.)

idk, I think… some spells are like…

Well, to add an example to my example: One time I was working backstage for a play, and we had a scene change where a bed was moved onto the stage, but it was up some stairs, so we had to lift it. When we lifted it, one of the wheels fell off about 30 seconds before it had to be on stage. So I grabbed a roll of gaff tape and managed to secure the wheel in the dark, throw the roll of tape, and lift the bed just in time to carry it on stage. As far as I know, to this day that wheel is still held on by that tape.

I think I find that spells can work the same way. While yes, ideally you have the Proper Tools and Plenty of Time and Lots of Care to make things happen, sometimes what you have is Desperation and Whatever Shit Is In Reach, and you would be amazed at what you can accomplish with those things.