SOLO'$ @syddfwy - Tumblr Blog

My favourite thing to imagine is that I’m no longer here.

I want to disappear from this realm. It doesn’t suit me. I can’t keep relationships, I can’t keep jobs. My mental illness eats me alive from the inside out. People bring it up every chance they get. My partners always realize I’m a burden, my family doesn’t get me, nor do my friends. I have nothing I enjoy. Never finished school because I couldn’t afford it mentally or financially, I want children but I know it’s unfair to burden my child with the possibility of feeling even a shred of what I feel everyday. I want to have never been here. I want to get mad at my brother for dying and taking the opportunity away from me. I want to scream at the top of my lungs because the anger and the hurt are stifling me.

I yearn for the chance to be forgotten, so I can forget myself.

mixdstuff

Exploring realms

nono-tropics

earthandbeast

Mmm 😋

God,

Please have mercy on my soul. Please don’t make me go on.

Do you ever just hate being alive but you are so you just truck along everyday smiling with your face but not your eyes until it’s too much so you have a meltdown, rinse repeat?

Same.