syd

just a goofy teenage girl who loves goofy music

[sydtwriting]

The Romanticization of the Sad Girl Aesthetic: Why we Shouldn’t Promote Mental Illness in the Media

Here’s my theory: I think our English teachers choose the oldest, most boring books for us to read for no reason.  It’s always some classic from the 50’s that’s “supposed to be a parallel to societal issues that impact our daily lives” which occasionally may be true, but there’s just something about it that is a little bit off. How is a teenage boy dying while saving children from a burning church similar to my life? No hate to the Outsiders, great book, but the big question is; why does this matter???? 

Sure, these coming-of-age stories tell a tale quite similar to mine: an angsty teen trying their best to fit in and succeed in the real world. These books that show the true realities of the world through realistic teenagers are sometimes the most powerful, but there’s always a, catch.

Published in 1951, The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger was meant to be like a diary that contained the chaotic energy of a paranoid and slightly psychotic 16-year-old Holden Caulfield. Holden admitted he was going mad, or going crazy, many times within the story, and talked about his life as a delinquent in a wealthy family. He hates the world around him, calling it phony as he experiences the very real consequences of his very interesting actions. 

But, with good intentions comes harmful impacts with stories like this. Whether we try to or not, we promote the idea that having mental illness is something fun, and it becomes normalized. We almost accidentally put people who struggle with mental illness into one of two boxes: those who have something we want, an excuse or something that’s aesthetic; OR as people that we believe shouldn’t be integrated with the rest of society.

So, first, let's pull a book off the shelf and break down what it really means to promote mental illness. Then we can skim the pages and: discuss the obvious harm in promoting such an impactful topic. And finally, we’ll reach that last page feeling satisfied, and learn what we can do about this growing epidemic.

Urban Dictonary user describes this aesthetic that promotes mental illness perfectly. They refer to these people as quote unquote “sad girls”; by explaining how “They glorify depression and anxiety as something quirky to have.” Generally, it’s the mentality and the behavior that gives these people a bad reputation, and for a good reason. This aesthetic has contributed to the mass of online content that glorifies mental illnesses like depression, and we have to put a stop to it before it progresses further. 

Before I get into that, I do have to admit something to you all in secret: I did read one of those painfully depressing classic novels; and not hate it. I know, I know, it feels like betrayal, especially since I’m the one who’s telling you those types of books suck. And while I did think it was a bit dated, it described intense mental illness in a way I’ve never seen before.

The Catcher in the Rye follows the handful of days after Holden Caulfield’s expulsion from his prep school, and he’s all about self-sabotage. From my understanding, Caulfield has a very impulsive personality and lets his intrusive thoughts get the best of him. But most of the time he talks about how depressed things make him feel.

Looking out the window makes him feel depressed, thinking about his little sister makes him depressed, his dead brother, the woman he dances with at a club, old people, hotels, his own room, the bad weather, a broken record; everything. 

The only thing more depressing than the things Holden Caulfield is describing is having to read the description of his depressing life. Why during this time did an author like J.D. Salinger have a fascination with making the lead character in their novel the saddest person I’ve read about?

Holden has become a headliner of this aesthetic where people only see mental illness as something glamorous; something hollywood-esque.

The Meadowglade, a rehab facility that focuses directly on mental health brings up a good point that, “Images of self-harm and ‘the beauty of mental illness’ may encourage others (teens and adults alike) to view mental illness as something of tragic beauty. It may also cause those who need help to avoid seeking treatment because they see their mental health as “part of who they are,” and therefore, they do not need or want to change.” 

When I have really struggled with my mental health in the past, the last thing I was thinking about was “This is so aesthetic! I never want things to change!” In fact, it was the exact opposite. At my lowest points, I was angry because I just wanted to get this big problem in my life to go away; I wanted nothing more than change. 

So, why would you want to suffer? The Medowglade also makes it apparent that, as the media promotes this aethetic, the impacts are irreversible. Studies show that pieces of media that bring up serious or even passive thoughts and actions directly linked to suicide have increased suicide rates.

Think of the show 13 reasons why or the storyline of the perks of being a wallflower. Both of these peices of media show the main character coping with the suicide of a friend or peer. These stories seem harmless for an outside perspective, but there has been a peak in “dark humor” or incorporation of serious topics into our everyday lives through jokes. There’s the whole “this is my 13th reason” or basically, this is my last straw, epidemic as well as an increase in teenagers using the acronym k-y-s in conversation. We have gotten so lost in what we are doing that we are seeking out and creating media that purposefully perpetuates this extremely dangerous message.  

Another major problem is it could spiral and cause deeper impacts that are reflected back to the individuals that contribute to this aesthetic. As many of you know, the boy who cried wolf is a tale about a young shepherd who thought it would be funny to cry out for help to the village and wait for everyone to show up. He only laughed at their concern and told them it was a false alarm, and was ridiculed for wasting everyone’s time. When there was a legit cry for help, nobody believed him until the damage was done. Once a liar, always a liar; that’s what the people thought about the boy. 

In this context, I fear that people will never believe those who glamorize mental illness when they are really struggling. I don’t know when to reach out to give someone immediate help when they nonchalantly say or do concerning things all the time, whether they need help or not. 

So, what can we do to stop promoting mental illnesses as something aesthetic? The easiest thing to do is stop liking, commenting, or interacting with content that paints mental illness as something we should want. 

Or this can mean we stop putting characters in the media we consume on this pedestal of what we should ideally be like. We can’t look at characters like Holden Caulfield as the model for mental illness; he doesn't represent what we need him to. Holden calls everything in his life phony, and if anything, he himself is phony. He’s this manufactured depiction of what mental illness can look like, and without taking the time to properly understand what he truly represents, our perception of him is “phony”. 

Us alone may not make any difference, but the sum of everyone's effort can help us understand the faults; both in the media we consume; and in our reactions.

So…I will take the opportunity now to admit I was wrong earlier. You know, I think we should give our english teachers a little more credit for picking a book like Catcher in the Rye, even if half the class looked at spark notes before a reading check. 

I’m not saying we need to get rid of all media that promotes mental illness because then, there goes half of the poetry in the world. But what I am saying is that we need to know the perspective we are approaching this media from. We need to learn from authors, illustrators, movie producers, singers, and people of the past in order to put our best foot forward.

We need to see this type of media as nothing more than a differing perspective, not something we need to adopt. Just because we see our favorite characters struggling doesn't mean we need to put forth intense amounts of effort to be “twinning” with them. We need to find media that brings us joy and happiness, as opposed to things that hold us back. 

And so, without further ado; I’ll leave you with a quote I find ironically acts as a perfect summary.  

“Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them—if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry.”

And my source you might be asking, is none other than J.D. Salinger himself.

[sydtwriting]

Anti-LGBTQ Legislation: The Impacts of Political Decisions

Elliot Page’s life was never personal. Hollywood’s perspective of his identity dictated much of his life, impacting jobs and future positions, and created a teenager fearful of the public. Something felt disconnected – he was never the person he wanted to be. He dreamt of a life where he could be his unique self without the judgment of others. Each job, one after another, his identity buried by the directors, never expressing discomfort and annoyance at their lack of awareness. Elliot’s obligation to use his platform as a public figure was mirrored in his story, explaining that the community needed support, for the benefit of himself and the community around him. As he so perfectly illustrates the life of a transgender actor, Elliot explains that “It all felt too big– the thought of going through this publicly, in a culture that is so rife with transphobia and people with enormous power and platforms actively attacking the community” (195). Change is what Elliot fights for, wanting desperately to help others combat the retraction of many rights for LGBTQ individuals. This upset in the LGBTQ community required those able to stand up for themselves to make their voices heard for the world around them to understand the impacts of anti-LGBTQ legislation truly. The creation of this legislation, the background, and its consequences all play an important role in understanding this topic, as change cannot occur without awareness of the causes and consequences. 

To kick-start change, the root of the problem needs to be addressed. Across the United States in recent years, there has been a spike in legislation negatively impacting LGBTQ individuals. In January of 2024, Ohio Governor Mike DeWine’s December veto, allowing children to receive gender-affirming treatment who have already begun the process, was overridden and banned basic gender-affirming care, including surgeries and hormone treatments. (Mulvihill, Schoenbaum). This specific piece of legislation was put into effect in April 2024, and additional legislation forcing the outing of many students has also been creating further issues. ACLU data concludes that sixty-five of the bills put in place with educational institutions in mind are implementing these “forced outings” as they call it, where teachers must notify parents when their child is choosing to go by different pronouns or a different name in class. (Choi). Outing in this sense, refers to the public calling out of one's gender or sexual orientation, and this term usually has a negative connotation as this is what many LGBTQ individuals fear most. This recent fear adds to the already high anxiety that most LGBTQ individuals experience about expressing their true identity. The forced outing is detrimental to the relationship between student and parent, adding more layers to the impacts of this legislation, as not all parents and children see eye-to-eye on these issues. The Trevor Project summarizes the recent effects of these bills on mental health excellently, saying that “86% of transgender and nonbinary youth say recent debates around anti-trans bills have negatively impacted their mental health; as a result of these policies and debates in the last year”. Additionally, almost half of the Trevor Project’s submissions reported that they experienced online harassment and one in three felt an unsafe feeling surrounding seeking medical care when injured or sick as a result of recent legislation. The recent talk is making transgender and nonbinary youth feel angry, as 74 percent reported this in Trevor News’ study. About half feel hopeless, sad, stressed, scared, or nervous about these small steps backward in politics, impacting the mental health of many. Mental health should be a priority with students and young adults, and in many cases, congress and lawmakers blatantly contradict themselves with laws that undo the progress that previous generations of House and Senate members fought hard for to protect the lives of many. 

The reasoning for and against this legislation varies, however, a common theme within this topic is the differing perspectives based on religious and regional beliefs tied to specific areas of the world. In 2023 alone, eighty-four bills across twenty-three states were later turned into laws. In particular, North Dakota and Tennessee each had 10 of those bills, having the most of all of the U.S. states, and making up 16 percent of the total number of bills filed the entire year, across a wide range of more important topics that must be addressed sooner. These 20 total bills-turned-laws targeted the LGBTQ individuals in specific areas which further supports that regionally, some states are more accepting than others. (Choi). This concentration of homophobia and transphobia in particular cities and states can be due to the religious beliefs common in that area, however, the age, extremity of a political party, and overall amount of shared beliefs with traditional and conservative southern states, can be at fault.  From a global standpoint, this sentiment remains true. Israel, India, Eastern Europe, and Arab nations, are not as open to homosexuality and the fluidity of gender as the still flawed United States. Religion plays a huge role in these countries’ perspectives, as it is “[L]argely shaped by national religious context, democracy, and economic development. For example, Russia’s anti-West stance, coupled with their Communist past, Orthodox religious community, and relatively new democracy, contributes to their negative attitudes toward homosexuality” (Bolzendahl, Lee). In less progressive countries, it becomes increasingly more dangerous to be a part of the LGBTQ community, as those areas have a majority religion or common beliefs that can appear more strict with issues like this. Individuals can more freely practice their religion and express their own opinions in the United States, but even in America this issue still arises. Back at home, the hatred of the LGBTQ community appears likely due to the strong opinions of many followers of Christianity. To many, homosexuality does not coexist with the core beliefs of many Christians and the value of traditional roles in one’s family. Many even see this restructuring of parental roles as a concern to children, creating a harmful assumption about the lives of many LGBTQ parents. (Bolzendahl, Lee). Additionally, it is proven that these religious experiences hurt youth’s perspectives of the community, making them refuse to work with LGBTQ individuals or view them in a negative light. (Dentato, et al.). Research concerning school-related social work further explains this by saying, “Homophobic experiences stemming from religious convictions and rationalizations as well as positions that are non-LGBTQ affirming can impact a student’s experience in the classroom as well as their overall experience within their social work program” (Dentato, et al.). This integration of religion in education has harmful impacts on students, making school and social work a dangerous place for one to be themselves when they are desperately seeking community with their peers and educators. 

The role of parents in the equation must be to educate, instead of opting to shield their children from the world around them. Thirty-one percent of parents want their children to understand that gender can be more fluid and that one can identify differently than how they were identified at birth. (Braga, et al.) This more liberal take is a minority in this situation, making it more likely that students will be shifted away from learning these topics. About the same amount of parents want their children to learn that their gender and sex determined at birth remain the same their entire lives, without the option of change. With the in-between being about the same percentage, this means that most schools teach nothing relating to LGBTQ sex education or the fluidity of gender and sexuality. Additionally, thirty-seven percent of parents made it known that they did not approve of their child learning about gender identity in the classroom. This correlates to the forty-eight percent of parents wanting to have the option to pull their child out of curriculum relating to gender identity. Generally, the younger the students, the more teachers agree that parents have the right to opt their children out of these topics. (Braga, et al.). The educators have a role in this as well, with about half of teachers saying that the difference between assigned versus chosen gender should not be discussed in school. This step backward in education makes children who feel differently think that they are in the wrong, creating more issues that they must work through later in their lives. 

Elliot Page explains this need for representation further, by saying that what is necessary is, “Possibilities. Perhaps that is one of the main components of life lost to lack of representation. Options erased from the imagination. Narratives indoctrinated that we spend an eternity attempting to break. The unraveling is painful, but it leads you to you” (197). When the media does not reflect communities that crave representation there is a disconnect. The echo chamber of online content is no solution in itself, there needs to be intentional support to find peace in the community. Surrounding one’s self with people who respect and understand the struggles, as well as reaching out to community members can be beneficial. Being a part of the community can aid in helping one feel less alone, as their experiences can be vastly similar. (CU Boulder). After all, in the world of social work, Denato and others understood from the work of Merrell, Ervin, and Gimpel’s 2006 article that change is needed for progress to be made. In the classroom, in social work, and the world as a whole, change is a critical step in halting harmful homophobia within classrooms and social work, for later methods of intervention to be applied. This change can be dialed into politics, as each elected official must understand and carry out the wishes of many using their position of power. Understanding the consequences of electing certain individuals is necessary for this change, even down to local county officials. Engaging with officials is a major way to influence the decisions impacting the LGBTQ community, and bringing up the problems with recent legislation can bring about reform (CU Boulder). But the most important aspect is the commitment the LGBTQ community must have to make their voices heard. Waving the flag and calling for a time-out can protect the lives of many people, including youth undergoing discrimination. Through difficult times, banding together and sticking up for one’s rights is the most powerful way to bring about much-needed change. 

Taking a step back and understanding the bigger picture beyond the small perspective one may have, it can become clear that issues like life-changing legislation banning necessary resources are negatively altering the lives of many. Kicked out of jobs, homes, and families; many have nothing to work from and build their lives back up from. From the perspectives of more fortunate individuals, one can understand that these issues are nothing to ignore and must be uplifted further by those who wield power. The role of authority in this case needs to change, and arguably has changed for the worse in recent years. There is no real solution, but the best-case scenario is that members of the LGBTQ community are truly beginning to be understood by those who represent them. Hearing the cries of those struggling people cannot be buried in the first-world problems of a modern American. For change to occur, the authority must be silenced, and only then will one hear the desires and chants of protesters that mark the start of reform.

Works Cited

Bolzendahl and Lee. “Acceptance and Rejection: Patterns of Opinion on Homosexuality in the United States and the World.” Sociological Forum, vol. 34, no. 4, Dec. 2019, pp. 1026–31. EBSCOhost, https://doi.org/10.1111/socf.12562. 

Braga, et. al “Race and LGBTQ Issues in K-12 Schools” Pew Research Center, https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/02/22/race-and-lgbtq-issues-in-k-12-schools/. 

Annette Choi, “Record number of anti-LGBTQ bills were introduced in 2023” CNN Jan 2024, https://www.cnn.com/politics/anti-lgbtq-plus-state-bill-rights-dg/index.html. 

Dentato, et al. “Homophobia within Schools of Social Work: The Critical Need for Affirming Classroom Settings and Effective Preparation for Service with the LGBTQ Community.” Social Work Education, vol. 35, no. 6, Sept. 2016, pp. 672–92. EBSCOhost, https://doi.org/10.1080/02615479.2016.1150452.

Mulvihill and Schoenbaum. “Ohio backs off proposed restrictions on gender-affirming medical care for adults” Associated Press, Feb. 2024, https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/ohio-backs-off-proposed-restrictions-on-gender-affirming-medical-care-for-adults.

Page, Elliot. “Pageboy”. Flatiron Books, 2023. 

Trevor News, “New Poll Emphasizes Negative Impacts of Anti-LGBTQ Policies on LGBTQ Youth” The Trevor Project, Jan 2023, https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog/new-poll-emphasizes-negative-impacts-of-anti-lgbtq-policies-on-lgbtq-youth/ 

“5 ways to cope with anti-LGBTQ+ legislation” University of Colorado, Boulder, https://www.colorado.edu/health/blog/coping-with-anti-LGBTQ-legislation Accessed Apr 22, 2024