The vicious cycle of porn addiction.
• Being a creepy, lonely wimp sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a cold computer screen or phone screen that does not give a damn about you.
• The sweaty hands and balls, smelling crotch, and heavy, animalistic breathing—like you're a demonic creature. The more you watch and wank, the more alarming your fetish gets. You end up watching very weird sex, which is very disgusting. Incest, beastiality, paedophilia—you name it. It rots your conscience.
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• The frying of your dopamine receptors—and your mind—is submerged; it is rotting in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.
• The mindless, 5-second worth of numbness upon orgasm is forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post-orgasm. Just the blurry vision and contemplating heart. Your genitalia hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.
• Your load—the millions of sperm—the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and flushed in the toilet. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, are spat out and killed because of your selfish, ugly desires.
• And that empty feeling when it's all over—you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC or phone because you suddenly hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.
• Then that burning sensation of remorse as you sit there alone. Thinking, "What the fuck?" You spend the rest of the day alone; cravings, anxiety, and depression all kick in 10x worse than before you Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm (PMO'd). Video games are your friend; they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, computerised devices suddenly replace isolation with real people.
• You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her; you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't visualize helping your sister with her assignments because the impression of being alone in a room with a "vagina" immediately means you must fuck it (the reason why cousins professing Christianity are doing it like it's normal).
• Withdrawal from your closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the situation is. Grades/job quality suffers; the future looks bleak. You think about ending your life as you are not productive to the society and you are a danger to yourself. You think about hurting yourself, doing drugs, sleeping with prostitutes, etc. Then you realise that you're a pathetic man who doesn't have the balls to do either.
And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.
It's not worth it at all, is it? Don't destroy your valuable time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.
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