Synci

the times i feel alive

[synci]

4/7/2026 // untrackable package. unwritten essay. grabbing my wrist because he wants to know the secret. tererria on a hello kitty ipad. a yellow horse shirt. monster energy at our table under the stairs. a picnic table in the sun. he’d be a pastor in another life, i guess. stickers. a 99 shooter. three girls in a bathroom stall. a birthday box for our friend. that wasn’t like a date was it? homework in her bedroom. billie eilish tiny desk concert. drinks by the river with a new friend. pinky promise. she hands me the rest of her cigarette. hugs goodnight.

[synci]

6:10 PM // stairs. i made you something. i don’t know if you’ll understand what i mean but i also know you will. you laugh but it’s not your usual laugh. your hand is over your mouth this time.

[synci]

[synci]

12:06 AM // i wish i could bring my sister here with me. she’s been my favorite person for 20 years. when we’re on the bench together i miss her.

[synci]

12:16 AM // a decade later and i still say gnight.

[synci]

charcoal dust. deep brick red. beer from home. sandpaper. a broken microphone. concrete that stretches between places. a lime scooter. drunk texts. shaky hands. fidget toys wrapped in toilet paper. family guy funny moments. three boxes of alani. eye contact in the dark. $0. pineapple vape. eyes. stickers. a pokémon card. a friend wearing my coat. pacing. dreams that might mean something.

[synci]

2:17 PM // sanding an old guitar on a picnic bench in the sun. there’s so much i’m putting off but in 5 years this will matter more than all of it, i’m sure.

[synci]

12:35 AM // god is real, i wouldn’t joke about this. drunk texts in separate rooms. red.

[synci]

9:57 PM // we’re walking in the dark in my new home. you talk differently than you used to. for half a second we’re 11 years old. you ask me if my watch is waterproof.

[synci]

12:06 PM // he’s dressed up. i can’t wait to talk to my mom today. walk me through your presentation. the color red. the microphone broke off in his phone charger. like and subscribe.

[synci]

11:19 PM // i start to share. he understands and fully turn to face me for the first time, elbows on the table. i’m tearing up but i hope nobody can see it in the dark.

[synci]

11:59 PM // vandalizing my boss’s office for april fools day. i draw a fucked up dog. we wrap his fidget toys individually.

[synci]

10:45 PM // i’m standing outside the cookie store and i don’t feel uncomfortable around strangers. someone i just met offers to hold my bag for me. maybe i am visible.

[synci]

9:31 PM // i’m walking just behind them. i don’t want to listen to this conversation but i have to. it’s cold out.

[synci]

12:18 AM // i take my sister down to the picnic table by the water. we talk about friendship. she starts playing my favorite band from her phone.

[synci]

9:02 PM // i look back for half a second and my boss catches me. he laughs. i flip him off. he won’t mention it tomorrow.

[synci]

11:30 PM // she’s wearing my trenchcoat and we’re on my couch. she’s holding me and scratching my head while i cry.