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hi im really confused about myself and wanted to see if i would count as a system;; ive always!! had different "personalities" in my mind -- not with appearance, moreso with just?? voices?? and theyre completely separate from each other but. all me, somewhat. like theyre definitely not Me but theyre apart of me so?? idk -- id always thought they were just extreme shifts in mood but now im wondering if anyone else was fronting?? ive been suppressing everything since some. bad things and idk if (1

this is what youd call a system since theyre just voices and i havent realized much at all since ive been pushing everything down so heavily;; im sorry if this is too much or offensive or anything!! i want to explore myself more and finally figure out what this part of me is since there are times when i feel like a completely different person. feel free to delete this too, and if you did thank you for reading!! (2

This is a really good question!!!! You’re not doing anything wrong, don’t worry. I think you could potentially be a system, it would make sense - sometimes another system member fronting does just seem like an extreme shift in mood, that’s valid, and systems are very often caused by trauma. Let me know if you need to talk about this more!! We can pm, too, I’d be happy to help you work it out.

-Mod Enoch

hi i hope this is an ok place to ask this but!!! i have a huge crush on one of my friend's system members and i'm not quite sure what to do about it. should i tell my crush? i'm not sure if i could even tell my friend because my crush is very often cofronting. as a person with just a single headmate who rarely fronts without me, i'm totally lost. i get really upset when my crush isn't fronting even though obviously he cant help not fronting all the time and i'm just a mess and i'm so lost.

That’s definitely something you can discuss with both of them! System dating can be complicated, so I think if that’s something you want to pursue an open and honest discussion is best.

-Mod Robin

i love this blog so much, there's no toxic comments, no "uwu i hate fake systems!!", no accusing people of being fake systems... it just feels so safe here and so welcoming and so wholesome thank you

Hey, thank you! We aren’t the system police, and nobody should be. If you’re a system, you’re a system, and I’m not going to tell you how systems should work because everyone’s different! I’m glad we’re welcoming and you guys are all wonderful.

-Mod Robin

although I show signs of trauma - I disassociate when I feel threatened, I feel that my only value is what I do for other people, I lose time, that sort of thing - I don't remember any trauma, at least not yet. I dont know if I should identify as a system or call myself one because I might just be a hypochondriac or making it up or something. I don't know if I'm allowed to call myself a system because I don't remember them being created by trauma, at least not yet.

Systems do not have to be created by trauma! Many aren’t. This could be some kind of dissociative thing, or you could be a system. I doubt you’re making it up.

-Mod Robin

i havent split during a traumatic moment but i have only after remembering it intensely, am i valid?

Sure!

-Mod Enoch

hi, im currently really anxious and need some help.. 1) is it possible for system members to integrate one at a time, and not all at once? one of my headmates may have done that, and its stressing me out. 2) i did have some traumatic experiences as a young child, but i didn't even notice my first "split" until a few months ago, is that bad? i hear people split soon after to cope but i ignored + repressed the heck out of it until recently. thanks in advance!! :>

Sure, that can happen.

That’s definitely fine and totally makes sense!

-Mod Enoch

i know what you said in /terms but... my alters, personally, have different names but they identify saying "Oh, I'm personally kin with this." like how i do instead of saying that they ARE them (despite feeling like they ARE them but isnt. like. you know.) Is that okay? Because my system works different?

I think that’s fine, and I’m not, like, the system police, but depending on how it works it might be something more like a facet system than a multiple system. But I don’t know, it’s your system and however it works is fine!

-Mod Enoch

I need to vent this.

Tw: breakups, relationships with system members, fictive. Hi. I don't really want to disclose my name for fear of the system in question here, but I have a confession. I, as a host of a system, fell madly in love with a member of an old friend's system. The member was a General Hux- a fictive (TFA). I think I let him closer to my self than I let my own fellow system members, and when he and the rest of his system left, I felt broken to some degree. I miss him so much, and I can't even tell anyone about it. He loved me. He told me so, and like hell I loved him. Now I'm out.

#confession #submission

I know this is weird but, i'm worried i am unable to get soulbonds. for one, i am genuenly scared i may be emotionally manipulative, and i sometimes... search up some not really safe for work things that involve the characters i want to soubond with and it hurts because i wanna stop but without the soulbonds i need some kind of comfort and touching myself is the only escape atm, but it's probably stopping my soulbonds. and i'm scared if i do get a soulbond i may manipulate them, what to do? ~ CK

I’m sorry for the unhelpful answer, but I have no idea what a “soulbond” is and I don’t think i can give you any advice unless you explain. thanks!

-Mod Enoch

hello!! we just wanted to say this blog helped us out a lot when we were first figuring out we were a system and we wanted to say thank you. the mods were very helpful when one of us asked a lot of questions and we all really appreciate it. helped us work through some things

hey, im really glad to hear that !!!!! Thank you for the nice words.

-Mod Enoch

Please, do you know how to prevent accidentally letting new entities into the headspace? Lately, if I visualize things even a little they just appear in there instead of staying in my mind and the only way I've been able to make it stop is to disconnect from the headspace. And I can barely interact with my headmate like this. We're really stressed out and just want this to stop. Do you know anything we can do, or if there's someone else who might? Thank you so much for your time.

i have no idea i’m sorry!!

-- mod miriam

#anon #asks

Neither of my headmates really front, so I never have problems with amnesia, but one of them can influence my mindset. Is that still normal? (I'm an endogenic system.)

yes it is!

-- mod miriam

#anon #asks

hhi mods! i'm just recently figuring out that i'm a median system (or at least i think i am). i started relating a lot to system posts, and so i looked into it more and it all really connects with experience's that we've had. is it alright to refer to ourselves as singular occasionally even if we mean the whole system? i do that sometimes and idk if that's improper or if i'm faking or something ahh. also any advice for new systems? no hurry if you don't have enough spoons to answer rn. ty ahh <3

absolutely alright! we do that all that time, because 1) we have to refer to ourselves as a singular person 95% of the time irl so it’s habit, and 2) sometimes the lines get blurred!

advice for new systems, hmmm... i’d say:

try to write out a list of everyone along with things that make them different from other sysmembers--age, gender, favorite shows, foods, etc. this helps keep track of everyone and writing it out can help people feel more stable in their identity

figure out the system (hah) of inter-system communication works best for you--writing, empty skype conversations, journaling, notes, etc

remember that it isnt anyones place but yours to decide if youre a system or not. theres a lot of toxic gatekeeping people in this community, so just remember that none of that invalidates yall

-- mod miriam

#anon #asks

Is it possible for just one alter to have a disorder?? One of my friend's alters shows all the symptoms of bpd and she and I are concerned for him, but we both know she doesn't have it, so I'm not sure if he can have it then

yes it is!

-- mod miriam

#anon #asks

I have no idea of what I'm experiencing, please help me out. For a long while I've felt like there were multiple people inside of me, and I mean really literally felt it. The thing is, I don't feel like my personality "changes", I don't change as a person- I, myself, the person everyone sees, am kind of like the "fusion" of all the ones inside of me, but I do feel like the "fronting" one changes- only, it's for very long periods, like years or months, and when it changes I (part 2)

never go back to a previous person, but they stay inside me. I don't feel like my "outward" persona changes at all, but all those people do affect me on a daily basis, and I can clearly feel a "shift". I had a more complex and detailed explanation in mind but I kinda forgot it, sorry. It sounds kinda like headmates/facets from what I've read? please give me a more informed opinion.

it sounds like you might be a system to us!! one of our friend systems (who we’re gonna leave unnamed for privacy) functions in a way similar to that, though admittedly they can switch their fronting much more frequently. however, the host of their system exists as sort of a “fusion” of everyone else in the system.

like many things here, though its hard to say! multiplicity as an experience is very diverse and can happen in a lot of different ways.

so, in short: it sounds to us like you might be experiencing some form of median system, but its hard to be positive just from the message. i’d recommend continuing to read up on systems (if you wanna read previous asks we’ve answered on facet systems, try http://systemconfessions.tumblr.com/search/facet or http://systemconfessions.tumblr.com/search/median) to see if that helps you figure out if that sounds like what you’re experiencing.

hope that helped!

~ mod miriam

#anon #asks

I'm new to the world of systems, and honestly it just sucks that the first headmate I've ever gained is a fictive from my canon whom I'm absolutely terrified of. Do you have any advice on how to cope with this..? (I apologize for any incorrect wording; like I said, I'm the host of a newly developed system.)

Ahh that does suck!! We’ve been there.

I think how you proceed depends on the fictive tbh...? If it’s someone you’re terrified of because they’re just like... a genuinely irredeemably awful person who’s going to cause you/the system harm, then you could try to make them fade.

However, if you’re terrified of them but they also aren’t irredeemably awful and your fear for them stems from something like an event that they didn’t have control over or something they’re genuinely remorseful for, it might be better to see if you can come to an understanding/compromise with them so you can co-exist peacefully?

It’s hard to answer without knowing more details honestly!! If you wanna send another message anonymously or not (we can respond privately to non-anon messages if you want), we can try to help more!!

(Disclaimer though: both of the mod systems are headed into finals soon and so it may take a while for us to answer)

#anon #asks

i feel like my alters are more like personas that i sort of "put on"? it's involuntary and probably based on the cocktail of mental illnesses i have, but it doesn't feel like entirely different people like alters are always described as. its also really important to me to research the things my personas like and to dress in the fashions and whatnot to sort of perfect them and have a well-rounded personality to take on, if that makes sense. is this still a system, or something else? thanks!!

Sorry I don’t have a lot of spoons for a long answer right now but: look into facet systems! There’s information about them on our terminology page, I believe.

#anon #asks

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