Anyone still on here?
Its been almost 5 years since ive logged in on here....anyone else still on here? Hows life? Tell me all about it!

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Anyone still on here?
Its been almost 5 years since ive logged in on here....anyone else still on here? Hows life? Tell me all about it!
5 years later & you’re still my best friend. Cant wait to be your wife♥️
find someone who knows you’re sad just by the change of tone in your voice
be with someone who loves the feature that you hate the most
fall in love with someone who looks at you and knows they don’t want anyone else
“Someday, we’ll run into each other again, I know it. Maybe I’ll be older and smarter and just plain better. If that happens, that’s when I’ll deserve you. But now, at this moment, you can’t hook your boat to mine, because I’m liable to sink us both.”
— Gabrielle Zevin (via hplyrikz)
Clear your mind here
(via hplyrikz)
I can relate to this
(18+)
Clear your mind here
“We were just friends. That spoke like lovers. And that seemed to be enough.”
—
am i not enough?
I stay up at night and cry. I think about the way things use to be. How we use to be. You dont kiss me the same. hold me the same. look at me the same or speak the same.... did i do something? have you grown out of love with me? we fight all the time. all because of these things. you really dont see it do you? How youve changed. You say im always sad , yet i bring these things to your attention and yet it never changes. How do you sleep at night soundly while i toss and turn beside you. Cry yet dont make a sound. Cant you feel my heavy breathing? cant you feel the tension is the air? i try so hard to be enough. to give you what you need, sometimes i wish we still lived apart so youd put forth the effort you once did. I miss when we were happy and i try so hard to be , but truth is youve changed and i dont think you love me the same. I am sorry for whatever i have done. Im sorry im not what you want anymore. just please tell me why, so this hurting hole goes away in my chest. it hurts to much to breathe. Im pretty sure i will suffocate from holding back these tears....you didnt even realize i grabbed my laptop and left the room did you? You never even asked me where i was going when i grabbed my clothes to leave.....
#me
“She’ll fight for you like hell, then force herself to love somebody else.”
“Im always going to love you, and im going to hate me for not being enough.”
— (via coral)
““Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way””
— Charles Bukowski (via amortizing)
Life?
its been awhile since the last time i sat and wrote about how i truly felt. Instead ive blocked it all away in my brain and realized how mean i was becoming. Mean because i couldnt undesrtand. mean because of the heartbreak,the stress, the lack of control and the circle of insanity i have gotten my life into. Between papa dying and moving on with my life. The stress of moving out and this money problem ive had since then. The need to want to feel loved and like i belong. I found a great man. A man that i pray to God i get to marry. But like myself, he comes with baggage. A troubled past. A child with someone who holds such evil in her heart. The constant reminder that i am more of a mother to her daughter than she is, but yet i have no say. The terrible twos are no joke. I am currently typing all of this while sitting outside because i needed 5 minutes of quiet in my life. Dont get me wrong, i love my life for the most part. I would never trade him or that baby, but sometimes i keep thinking “ when will this be my turn?” I want to have a child where my parenting styles matter. Where i dont have to be told “ well youre not her mother. When will it be my turn to be engaged or happily married.... Yeah yeah yeah .. i know “im young , i have so much time” but what if i dont.... we keep taking life for granted and is it so wrong that i dont wanna waste anymore of my time? i have seen the way and speed of peoples life being taken from them... who says MY tomorrow is promised? I guess i just wanna feel complete... there is this empty whole inside of me that cant seem to be filled.... I want to have my happily ever after and the life i can look upon and smile. I dont want a life of regrets anymore. I have no friends. K is my only friend....Who knows, maybe something will change.....
until next time....