Life's a Beach

♡ 17 ♡ Aspiring Nobody ♡

[oxypill]

[aevallare]

do you think mocking catholicism is funny

yes. next question

[extreme-dyke-syndrome]

The crippled urge to go "nice cane" to every other cane user you see

[musenextdoor-deactivated2026053]

Sorry I was born to be a hot lesbian trophy wife I literally don’t make the rules here

[divinestrike]

gonna say something controversial and it’s that carrot cake is fucking delicious and possibly the best cake flavour 

[divinestrike]

[tabloidsores]

(i pull my pair of tiny binoculars away from my eyes and lean over to my partner as we watch the opera from the upper left balcony) i say darling this singer is slaying absolute penis

[divinestrike]

gonna say something controversial and it’s that carrot cake is fucking delicious and possibly the best cake flavour 

[divinestrike]

[nothorses]

the trans male experience is being afraid that if you wash your hands in a public men's restroom you will be clocked

[actual-mothman]

one time I went in the men's room at a bar, got clocked and told I needed to leave so later I walked up to that dude at a table with some chick and announced to her that He Doesn't Wash His Hands After Handling His Dick and walked away

[nothorses]

you are quite literally braver than any U.S. marine

[0rdi-deactivated20211118]

Phd? Yeah I am a pretty hungry dude lol! *enters a dark cave and never comes out*

[warmbloodedbutch]

after experiencing “feelings” i have decided that this just isn’t for me but thank you for the opportunity

[toothyblowjob]

did your parents use "growing pains" as a catchall to dismiss any and all pain you felt your entire childhood or are you normal

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[center4ants]

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

me, dming a cute girl: omg you're so funny and smart but like...i remember you tweeting something a while back about like, having raptorial forelimbs or some shit? you're not like, a bug, are you? like obv it's totally fine if you are but i just need to know

the horse-sized praying mantis on the other side of the screen: hahaha no omg...how the fuck would a bug even use a computer lmao

[oldworld-chaotic-deactivated202]

[chronic-confessions]

Confession #4,190

I’m so tired of people saying “it’s okay to be angry or upset or sad when you’re struggling with chronic illness” when they immediately follow it up with “don’t forget what you have to be grateful for!!!” or other positivity cliches. Chronic illness sucks. Let me say that.

[alpine-insurrection]

Thankful today for all my comrades. Keep fighting the good fight.

[penny-anna]

Am I the only one