Chronic Confessions

Anonymously confess your feelings and emotions about your chronic illness--happy and sad. A safe place to rant and reveal.

[liberaljane]

‘but you seem fine!’ 🥄✨

Art by Liberal Jane

[Digital illustration with a strong 70s aesthetic. It’s a bedroom scene, with a woman sitting on the bed with long brown hair, purple flower earrings, a purple mini dress with white flowers and sheer sleeves along with a pair of fringe go-go boots. On the nightstand is a prescription bottle, water bottle, eye patch and pain reliever. There’s a speech bubble that reads, ‘not all illnesses are visible.’]

[catmat]

Chronic pain isn’t just one mild pain level all of the time. It varies from day to day or hour to hour. It can be really extreme, high, or rarely dip down to a lower level that most would still think would be unbearable to live with for long. When you do get one of those days where it isn’t too bad, you think maybe things are getting better, only for it to cripple you again.

Chronic pain varies; it can be really bad, it can be tolerable, but only to return with a vengeance.

The only consistency in chronic pain is the pain.

[thelupuslady]

[chronic-confessions]

Confession #5,550

I want to swear, be angry, throw things over, cry, fall on my knees and put my hands in front of my face. I want to hammer the cold floor with my fists and then collapse. But I just sit there, staring in the air and surrendering to my senseless fate

[chronic-confessions]

Confession #5,549

I guess me ruining my life cuz i couldn't be bothered to clarify when I possibly misread the text on the net of people I liked, maybe plays on my mind a bit and make me anxious, I confess I confess, I'm a irresponsible anxious witch

[chronic-confessions]

Confession #5,548

Okay, I guess when I list out everything little mistake I ever did on accident using technology, It does make sense I have some anxiety sometimes about it, like it's dumb but nobodys perfect and one day I shall attempt to let go of being weird abot it

[chronic-confessions]

Confession #5,547

I got a diagnosis for hypothyroidism. I was very excited to have an answer and that it was something that could be treated easily. Finally it felt like a chance for a normal life, when i felt so sick i felt like i could die. But now my insurance won’t help. I can’t even get coverage to see a PCP. Every doctor they set me up with is someone that cant help me because they’re an ER doctor only or a specialist. The one time they got it right he turned out to be a transphobe and dropped me.

The worst part is the stress this is putting on my boyfriend. We mean the world to each other and though we’ve only been together almost five months, it really feels like hes the one im going to spend the rest of my life with. But its hard seeing me like this, hes mentally ill like me and the stress of taking care of me on top of taking care of himself is more than he’s letting on. He hates when I talk this way but I’ve never seen him cry more than when my symptoms got so bad I couldn’t work. We were both so happy that it was over but as it turns out it isn’t. I really have the worst luck. Everything I do is always like this. I didn’t sign up for this. He certainly didn’t know what he was getting into. I finally found someone who gave me peace, everything finally felt right, and now I can’t even get out of bed, and my heart won’t even beat at a normal rhythm, and im so cold.

its not in my nature to give up, so i won’t, but this is just. very unfair.

[chronic-confessions]

Confession #5,546

everyone says to stay positive but i’m a 16 year old in so much pain that i can’t even go to school or hang out with friends. i’ve only managed to keep one friend throughout all of this because friendships rely on putting in effort to communicate and being able to talk to/see each other. i can’t be a reliable friend and it makes me feel like a bad person. i hate that all of the plans i had as a kid were ruined. i wanted to get straight A’s and graduate early. i wanted to get a job as soon as possible. i wanted to go to some fancy college and become an author or something. i wanted to move out at 18. but instead i’m barely passing online school, i might not be able to go to college ever, i won’t be able to get a job, and i’ll probably live with my parents for the rest of my life. oh, and i’ll be in pain for every second of the rest of my life.

[chronic-confessions]

Hope you feel a bit better soon

Thank you so much!

[chronic-confessions]

Tbh I wish I could be a mod and help you run this blog - too brain foggy to do much, but I wish I could help! You do amazing work ❤️❤️

Yeah, I’m not sure what keeps happening to new admins... Hopefully they eventually come back to me...

[chronic-confessions]

Question for followers/anyone out there with MS: I just had an MRI and they saw something on my brain that suggests I have MS. I have an appointment with a neurologist coming up, and I don’t know what to expect. Is she going to want to do even more damn tests? Is she going to give me a treatment plan? Obviously I’m not expecting anyone to predict the future perfectly, I just want to have a general picture of what to expect. Thanks a million!

Does anyone have any advice or feedback?

[chronic-confessions]

No worries! I hope you’re okay, take as much time as you need hon.

Thank you. I’m going to do the best I can to update it here and there when there isn’t pain and I’ve got some free time. So thank you everyone for bearing with me and being patient. 

[chronic-confessions]

I hope your arm/shoulder feels better soon! 💖

Thank you so much!!!

[chronic-confessions]

Hope your side heals up easy and with as little pain as possible

Thank you so much! Apparently I’m 4-6 weeks from no pain, but here’s hoping for a shortened miracle!!

[chronic-confessions]

Hope the xray finds something that's easily treatable!! Lots of love and hugs, from Oregon 💜

Thank you. I ended up not being able to get an xray, which is really discouraging, but the doctors think I fractured my shoulder. So I’m in a sling for a few weeks hoping that the random loss of feeling in my hand goes away...

Honestly I’ll take all the good vibes, love, and hugs I can get.

[chronic-confessions]

Hi guys, I got hit by a guy on a bike when I was walking on the sidewalk and he rode off and left me injured and my whole right shoulder and arm and everything is really messed up. And I don't have insurance so I can't go get it looked at but I've put it in a sling but I'm working to get on the other side of these first few days then I'll update the queue again.

I'm sorry for the delay!

-Admin Bri

[chronic-confessions]

Confession #5,545

The longer I'm chronically ill, the worse my financial situation becomes. The worse my financial situation becomes, the worse my quality of life becomes. The worse my quality of life becomes, the worse my depression becomes. I hate this downward spiral, but I can't just magically become a healthy able-bodied person again.