im keeping some stuff a lil vague bc im afraid ppl from school will figure out its me lol \\
here’s a lil side note about myself: in order for u guys to understand my lil dilemma, i never text people first. that’s just me because i’m super shy, which is probably why im using social media platforms for advice instead of asking my friends about this. so yeah in order to get what im trying to explain, i’m very shy and i never text people first because i always tend to overthink everything.
my “crush” and i used to be good friends back in junior high (i had a crush on him back in grade 7, as we had common interests, but as we entered high school, he enrolled into AP classes, and i didn’t so i didn’t get to talk to him as much, but last year, where we were in the same chemistry class so i got to talk to him a bit again; but at the end of grade 11, we went back to not talking to each other as we were in different friend groups (i stayed in the library to study, he usually stayed in any open class with his friends) ((im in my senior (grade 12) year of high school btw))
this happened probably 2 weeks ago, just a lil blurb that leads to whatever im trying to explain: so around 1-2 weeks ago, one of my favourite artists (bh) released a new album. me being super excited about it tweeted a shit ton of stuff on twitter and pretty much tried to talk my friends into listening to them as well at school. after telling my friends about the new album, my best friend told me that the guy i like happens to like that band as well and that i could use that band to try and start talking to him. so at the end of the day, (where my “crush” and i wait after school), my crush’s group of friends called me over and talked about the new album with me. (my crush was with them btw!! i was dying) and when he heard me talk about it hE WALKED UP TO ME AND STARTED ASKING ME ABOUT MY THOUGHTS ON THE ALBUM. me being shy and shook as fUCK kinda just stood there and was pretty much whispering because he was standing so fucking close to me like hello i didn’t expect this nor was i ready !!!!!!!! later that i day, i was like, “okay, since he talked to me first i might as well text him first, right?” so i did and asked him if he watched the short film the band posted, and we talked about that n blah blah blah (im honestly just ranting thank u if ur still reading at this point i love u) the conversation pretty much died down and we didn’t text each other a bit after that
fast forward to midnight, Christmas day. after being constantly pushed by my brother and my best friend to “take your fucking shot already” i finally built up the courage and texted the guy merry christmas at midnight on the 25th. we’ve managed to keep the conversation going until 4 am, but he ended up falling asleep as it got pretty late. later in the morning (still the 25th), around 10ish he texted me and apologized for replying late as he fell asleep. throughout the day, the conversation could have ended multiple times, but i wanted to see what it would be like if i just kept it going. (we didn’t reply to each other right away as it was chistmas so we replied to e/o every 1-2 hours or so.) in order for me to try and keep the conversation going, i pretty much asked him questions about how school was going and even sent him some of my favourite songs to listen to. at this point i started to second guess myself because i felt like i was the only one putting in the effort in trying to keep the conversation going most of the time.
fast forward to today, the 26th. our conversation was whatever, the same old typa thing, him answering the questions i would ask, i would make comments, he’d agree and that was pretty much it. eventually, i started to give up on trying to keep the conversation going and replied with something like “aw that sounds rough” in a way where he could screen me, or change the topic and keep the conversation going. soooooo he ended up not replying and i now i feel dumb for even trying to talk to him or maybe im just being paranoid and overthinking everything. i just feel like he’s not putting in the effort in trying to keep the conversation going, which means that he’s not interested in talking to me, right? probably.
conclusion; now idk what to do so pls tell me ur thoughts on what i should do; should i just stop trying n just go back to studying my ass off or should i just try and talk to him again some other time? or just tell me your thoughts in general pls heLP YA GIRL OUT IM STRESSING OVER THIS ITS SO STUPID like this is pretty much a buildup of my feelings since grade 7 (so 6 years??????????), and i am at my peak and i am disappointed & sad i d k what to do :/
gracieabrams
blakekathryn
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