I read a lot of stuff here so I thought why not make a fic rec list hehe 🤭 This is just part 1 will be making more lists !! ( for yoongi and jungkook too)
ALL of these works are genuinely so so good and worth the read 🙂↕️💗!!! So thank you to all the writers, everyone check out their blogs and give them all the love🥰!
One Shots
Paper Cranes @aquaminwrites
Genre: Fluff, smut, angst. Non idol AU. College AU. Best friends to lovers. Slice of life.
Summary: It is said that if someone folds 1000 paper cranes, they will receive one wish. Kim Taehyung has been folding you paper cranes since he was six years old. He won’t tell you what he’s going to wish for once he reaches his goal, but even into your twenties, all you know is that he’s been wishing for the same thing every time
Get You The Moon @bymoonchild
Genre: Fluff, smut, angst / College!AU, enemies to lovers!AU, football!AU, jock!Taehyung x student reporter!OC
Summary: Life has its ways of fucking with you, but you know you’ve hit 50 feet below rock bottom after being tasked to do a profile feature on Kim Taehyung, the varsity football captain, for your school newspaper. Pure torment awaits you, but this is alongside glassy eyes, pink cheeks and conflicted feelings that you’ve never dared to imagine with the likes of the devil incarnate.
Trip @daechwitatamic
Genre: f2l, fluff, camping!au
Summary: Your gigantic crush on Kim Taehyung is so bad that you drop whatever you’re holding every time he speaks to you. Your dirty liar of a best friend SWORE to you he wouldn’t be on this camping trip, but he is. Luckily, the trip gives Taehyung the chance to see you in a new light, admittedly with some help from his best friend (and definitely hired spy) Park Jimin.
Summary; He plucks your heart strings with soulful symphonies, but professional obligations weight heavier than emotional desires. Your friends agree; why can’t he?
Summary: All your life you wanted only one thing- for Kim Taehyung to like you. You did everything you could to make this happen, from picking up his hobbies and rejecting anything feminine. But who do you start to become when you stop trying to impress him?
Summary: When your roommate drops out right before the end of the semester and leaves you high and dry for next month’s rent, you’re forced to turn to craigslist to find an absolute stranger to save you from financial ruin. The shy Korean exchange student you find to replace her seems nice enough despite the language barrier, but what will happen when the heat cuts off one fateful evening, and you’re forced to turn to each other for warmth?
Summary: You are in love with Taehyung, your Alpha. But he just sees you as the Omega bitch that helps him relieve stress by letting him use her body however he likes. And you’ve come to be okay with that, because you know you are no good for him. But now with your heat coming up and the pressure on Taehyung to find a Queen increasing exponentially, will your ties with him severe forever? Or will they bloom into something else?
Definition Of Love @taegularities
Genre: college!au, romance, e2f2l, angst, a lot of fluff, smut
Summary: “Burn yourself into my memory until I can’t escape you.”
When the gorgeous student from your literature class starts showing interest in you, you discover that there's much more to him than his know-it-all facade. But is this realization enough to get through your insecurities and secrets?
A Dash Of Love @btsmosphere
Genre: hallmark au, restaurant au, chef au, friends to lovers, fluff, angst
Summary: your whole life, you’ve hoped to get a job at your idol’s restaurant. It finally comes, with the added bonus of the executive chef and your new best friend, Taehyung (who you definitely don’t have a crush on), but what if it’s all too good to be true? You and Taehyung try new things.
Saudade @chateautae
Genre : angst, smut, fluff (the holy trinity), idol!au, established relationship!au
Summary : a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasn’t so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasn’t the same anymore; and you decide it's time to find out why.
Rejection @petersasteria
Genre: college au, non idol au, angst , fluff
Summary: he rejects you once and you (unknowingly) reject him thrice
Waterloo @kinktae
Genre: FLUFF, angst, light tasteful smut, art prodigy!taehyung x art student!reader
Summary: Taehyung is a famous but pessimistic art prodigy who doesn't believe in love. You are an art student studying in Paris, who sees the world through rose-colored lens and is a certified cheesy romance film enthusiast. And this is your love story.
Or, “Well, it is the city of love. Maybe you just need to fall in love."
Always The Bridesmaid @kookingtae
Genre: enemies to lovers, smut, angst, fluff, holiday/christmas, writer taehyung x reader (ft. seokjin)
Summary: When you first meet Kim Taehyung, you’re determined to find every reason you can to hate him—or maybe he’s just looking for ways to get on your last nerve. But when a turn of events has the two of you working the wedding of the man you’re hopelessly in love with, you’re too late to realize the real reason to hate Kim Taehyung is because of the latest column he’s secretly writing: “Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride”, and it’s all about you.
Rent-a-Boyfriend™ @jimlingss
Genre: Extreme fluff
Summary: Are YOU lonely? Need someone to cuddle at night? Do you want love? If you said ‘yes’ to any of the questions previously mentioned then we have a service for you!Don’t be alone for this Valentine’s Day! Come Rent a Boyfriend!™ (terms and conditions may apply. we are not responsible for any emotional or sentimental damages. please take caution with rent-a-boyfriend).
New Tricks @geniuslab
Genre: Fluff, Smut, Dog Trainer AU, friends to lovers
Summary: When your newly adopted puppy turns out to be a lot more work than you expected, a cute dog trainer comes to the rescue. You soon become friends, but you begin to realize friendship might not be all you want.
Summary : maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.
With A Brush Of Fate @yoongiofmine
Genre: Fluff, angst, smut, idol au, strangers to lovers.
Summary: Your roommate was sure she found you the perfect man. Her boyfriend believed he found Taehyung's soulmate. The only problem was that you never wanted to date an idol and he never wanted to drag you into this life. Taehyung didn't even know what he wanted anymore and was tired of being criticized for simply growing up. You just wanted to finish university and do something for yourself. What started out with the meddling of your friends became something neither of you expected. Could the two of you be what the other is missing? Or would things just fall apart?
title ; i think i loved you more.
you don’t even think about me.
description ; how could you love me and then walk away?
cast ; taehyung x you
word count ; 3.2k
tracklist ; chilly - niki, fools - troye sivan, consequences - camila cabello, the apartment we won’t share - niki
tags ; best friends to lovers to exes, angst, it’s literally just angst, anyway surprise!! i didn’t think i’d actually finish this but here we are so i hope u like it
summary: Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.
pairing: Taehyung x Reader (with some VERY brief Seokjin x Reader and Yoongi x Reader)
rating: 18+
genres: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slooooow burn, angst, fluff
word count: 9.0k
chapter warnings: kook has literally zero chill (i’m so sorry about him), jimin channels his inner dominic toretto, taehyung is so sweet he’s giving me cavities, discussions of infidelity, swear words, namjoon still gives the best hugs
a/n: thanks for the patience in waiting for this one! for those who may have missed it, i ultimately opted to split this into two chapters, so now we’re looking at seven parts and an epilogue. :)
PREVIOUS // SERIES MASTERLIST
Read on ao3
"I can make you a drink?"
"It's noon."
"So?"
You sigh, slumping on the couch. "I appreciate it, Kook, but I'm just…" You stretch out, pressing your toes into his thigh. "Tired."
The week has gone by in a blur of tears and sleep. You'd taken the rest of the week off, thankful both that you had been carefully banking your PTO in case of an emergency and also for having a manager that prioritizes empathy and mental health. When you'd practically had a breakdown explaining your situation over the phone, she'd quickly granted you the time off—no questions asked—and told you to take care of yourself.
It's been mostly your friends taking care of you, however. After the night you came back from the beach house, you'd been whisked away to the guys' apartment to stay with them, camping out on their pull-out couch, which they’d insisted you could have for as long as you want (Taehyung had pushed you to take his bed, offering to stay in the living room, but you'd begged him not to make you feel worse by displacing him, and he'd eventually acquiesced). Maya and Taehyung had then gone back late the next day to pack you a bag with no Jace encounters.
He'd only texted you once—to provide a weak apology and to let you know he'd clear out of the apartment.
Still, your plan is to stay with the guys for a while; you don't think you could bear to be in your apartment alone right now, especially knowing that Jace has been with someone else in your bed. It's like the image is seared behind your eyelids, tormenting you every time you blink and pushing your mental fortitude to its absolute limit. You haven’t made it a single day without a breakdown, feeling as though you’re constantly trying to walk an emotional tightrope.
Except the tightrope isn’t pulled taut and is also on fire.
That being said, you welcome the distraction of having your friends around. Between Jimin working days, Jungkook working nights, and Taehyung having a flexible schedule with the museum and his photography gigs, someone is always around to spend time with you. Maya’s also taken it upon herself to pop in almost every night with wine, chocolate, or some other variation of breakup food and hang out for a while. You'd feel bad about their attentiveness (you feel sometimes like they're babysitting you), if not for the fact that it's the only thing keeping you remotely sane as you fluctuate between sobs and an overwhelming numbness.
This Sunday afternoon, it's Jungkook's turn to babysit; Taehyung left to run some errands an hour ago, while Jimin slept in late and is currently taking a shower. Jungkook's reclined on the sofa next to you, longs legs stretched out in front of him with his fingers laced behind his head. You'd thrown on a TV movie—some bullshit about a woman who goes through trials of love, only to realize that her perfect man was hidden in plain sight the entire time.
If only life were that fucking easy.
"Do you want an ice cream sundae?" Jungkook suggests as the credits roll. "I can make you an ice cream sundae."
"Are you just suggesting things that make your twelve-year-old brain happy?"
His lower lip pushes out in thought. "No, if I was going to suggest things that cheer me up when I'm sad, I'd offer to go down on you—"
"What the fuck, Kook."
"Which I'm game if you are, but I didn't think you liked me like that."
"Yeah, I think I'll pass."
"Suit yourself."
"Leave her alone, idiot. She's fragile." Jimin steps into the living room from the hall, fully dressed but still towel drying his hair. He takes in your relaxed forms on the couch—you, halfway burrowed under multiple blankets—and frowns. "You're not dressed yet?"
You blink slowly at him. "Should I be?"
"Yeah, Kook and I are taking you somewhere." He looks over at the man sitting beside you. "You didn't tell her?"
Jungkook's mouth stretches into a wide grin. "Surprise!"
You're still processing what the hell is happening—your plans for today were to park yourself in this spot and not leave—when Jimin strides over and yanks the blankets off of your body.
"Chim!"
"C'mon, get dressed. We have an appointment," he says. "And wear something comfortable. You're gonna love it, I promise."
A half hour later and you’re sitting in the back of Jungkook’s black Mercedes, watching the city pass by outside your window. Now that you’re up, it does feel nice to be out of the apartment instead of wallowing inside on the couch with a tissue box in your lap (which had been the general trend of the past week). Even listening to Jungkook and Jimin bickering about navigation up front helps to distract you from the dread that lingers like a blanket draped over your shoulders. All-in-all, you feel like you’re managing the fallout of your relationship as best as one can—at least when they find their almost-fiancé in bed with another woman. But grieving the loss still means that you’ve barely eaten, barely slept, and it’s not long before you’re dozing off in the backseat, dreaming of college—of sandy brown hair and green eyes.
You wake to Jimin’s hand on your shoulder gently shaking you out of your nap.
“Hey, we’re here.”
You’re on the outskirts of the city, it seems, in front of a squat, gray building that looks almost like a tiny warehouse. Peering up at the neon sign, you read, “Smash City Rage Room?”
“Cool, right?” Jungkook says, leaning against the side of the car.
You can physically feel the lines stretching across your forehead. “I don’t get it. We’re going to…?”
“Break stuff!” He takes your hand to pull you along. “Let’s go!”
You're led into a small, unassuming lobby—flat gray like the outside. Jimin gets you checked in with a burly-looking man behind a desk, who (after you’ve all signed some suspicious-looking release forms) promptly brings the three of you to a back room where you're fitted with protective jumpsuits, helmets, and goggles and instructed to "choose a weapon" from a rack filled with baseball bats and sledgehammers. At this point, Jungkook is practically bouncing out of his skin, the absolute picture of a golden retriever waiting for a ball to be thrown.
"You guys are really trying to distract me by taking me to Kook's version of Disneyland, huh?"
"That depends, is it working?" he says, grasping one of the hammers and weighing it in his hands.
"I'm skeptical but open-minded."
"Perfect!"
He hands you a bat, and your brawny host leads you to your final room—a wide, concrete space with a sturdy table in the middle and piles and piles of objects. Wine glasses, dinner plates, a computer monitor, and even a flat screen TV sit in heaps along the walls amongst some broken shards from previous visitors.
"You're free to smash anything in the room," the muscle man says in a gruff voice, "just no intentional damage to the building's structure. If you need something, you can flag us down through the camera up there," he points to the device in one of the ceiling's corners, "and someone will come check on you. Otherwise, just be safe and have fun. We'll come get you after an hour." Then he's swinging the door shut behind him.
You look blankly at the two men in front of you. "Now what?"
"We smash!" Jungkook says happily, already dragging the flat-screen onto the table. Then, before you can even respond: "Not like that, Y/N. Get your mind out of the gutter." He swings the sledgehammer down onto the TV screen, and it caves in on itself as Jungkook giggles maniacally.
"We thought this might help to let off steam," Jimin says, cracking a smile as he slams his bat into a propped up picture frame. "Try it!"
The two of them watch with wide, expectant eyes as you gingerly pick up a small drinking glass and place it delicately on the table.
"So now I just…?" You halfway lift the baseball bat, peering down at the poor, unassuming glass in front of you.
Jungkook leans forward, eyes eager, gesturing with the hammer in a light swinging motion he's clearly wanting you to mimic.
So you swing, bringing the bat down onto the lip of the glass with a moderate amount of force. It shatters, pieces flying outwards like little slivers of shrapnel.
It feels good.
The guys cheer, and Jimin reaches down to grab a champagne glass, setting it in front of you.
"Now pretend this one is that asshole's balls."
You hesitate, the mention of Jace causing the fist that's been around your heart to squeeze. You're angry with him, sure, fury simmering in your belly even now. But your biggest struggle and the source of all of your pain this week has been wrangling with your lingering feelings. Four years of loving someone are not so easily erased.
But you wish you could wipe it all from your mind.
You wish you could hate him.
"Let it out," Jimin murmurs, as you continue to stare, your hands gripping the bat. "This is the place."
You visualize Jace's face in your mind. His bright green eyes, his crooked smile, the tiny scar on his forehead from when he fell off his bike when he was nine. You can practically hear his voice whispering sweet nothings into your ear.
And then you see him in bed a week ago, his lips pressed to another woman's neck.
The champagne glass explodes like a small bomb into a million tiny crystals.
“That’s what I’m talking about!” Jungkook yells, and it’s then that you realize that you were the one who swung the bat.
Your body is a live wire, pumping with adrenaline and a newfound rage. Before you know it, you don’t even have the patience to pick up the objects and place them on the table. Instead, you’re spinning around in a whirlwind, destroying plates and glasses and small kitchen appliances indiscriminately.
“This is for all of the lies about late nights!”
BOOM.
“This is for the fact that I’ve barely been able to breathe this past week!”
CRASH.
“This is for that dumb-ass crooked smile like he thinks he’s the star of some shitty movie!”
WHAM.
“And this is for that stupid, fucking green jacket.”
You channel all of your anger through the bat—every tear, every minute of lost sleep turned into shards of glass and debris. The tears come at some point, but you barely feel them as you scream out your frustrations, Jimin and Jungkook cheering you on the whole time.
It’s not a magical cure-all by any means, but you do feel a tiny bit of relief ease itself into your shoulders.
An hour later, you embrace both men in the parking lot. “Thank you,” you say, “for everything you guys have been doing for me. I needed this.”
Jimin shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Hey, I owed you for that time when I got passed over for promotion, and you brought me to Bar 613 and paid for all my drinks.”
“I just wanted to smash stuff,” Jungkook teases with a grin, but he rubs playfully at your upper back to let you know he’s kidding.
Jimin’s phone chirps with a notification, and he pulls it out of his pocket, squinting at the screen before muttering, “Hmm, Tae’s not ready yet.”
“Ready for what?” you ask, a feeling creeping in that your day of surprise distractions isn’t quite over.
“You’ll see soon enough.” Jimin’s knowing smile twinkles with mischief. “In the meantime, what do you say we get some ice cream?”
“What do you mean you’re not coming?”
You’d returned from your rage room and ice cream outing only for Jungkook to swing his car into the “No Parking” zone outside the apartment and promptly kick you out to the curb, a pair of impish smiles flashing at you from the front seats.
“We have strict instructions to stay clear of the apartment for the next several hours,” Jimin chimes. “So we’re going to entertain ourselves for a while.”
You narrow your eyes at them, knowing they’re not going to spill but making a feeble attempt anyway. “What did he do?”
“Go find out!” Jimin says, just as Jungkook shouts, “Bye!” and rolls up the window right in your face.
You enter the building with a sigh, swinging the plastic bag from your wrist that holds the takeout container of rocky road that you’d gotten for Taehyung. A part of you wants to be whiny about your friends making such a fuss for you, working so hard to cheer you up, but at the end of the day, you just feel loved. Tomorrow, you may wake up with a hollow chest, your heart scraped out in the middle of the night as it has been for every day the past week, but for now, you let a little flame of happiness warm your insides.
You do hope, though, that Taehyung didn’t go through too much trouble for whatever he has planned for tonight. He’s already spent a majority of the past week hovering, holding you when you cry, and otherwise keeping a close watch on your moods. And in spite of him trying to be subtle, you’ve noticed how he doesn’t close his bedroom door all the way at night so he can listen for you.
He’s a great friend, the best, but the fact that you care about him, too, means that you don’t necessarily want to burden him, don’t want to be the source of his worry.
It sucks that you’re doing a shit job of it.
Probably just a movie night, you think during the elevator ride up. Like we’d do in college.
But when you slip the key into the lock and slide the door open, your heart immediately leaps into your throat, the bag of ice cream almost slipping from your fingers.
The apartment has been positively upended, furniture rearranged, flipped, stacked, and draped with blankets to create a massive pillow fort in the middle of the living room. It has to be almost eight feet tall, and you wonder what the rest of the rooms look like as you spy all three of the guys’ desk chairs incorporated into the structure—clearly, the entire apartment was raided to create this behemoth. Around the dining room and kitchen, dozens of candles have been placed and lit to give the open space an ambient glow, accentuated by the lowering sun dipping down outside the massive windows.
When the door swings itself to latch shut with a soft click, there’s a rustling sound before Taehyung’s head pops out of the fort, and he beams as he comes to stand in front of you.
“What do you think?” he hums as you continue to stare incredulously at the scene behind him. You try to say something, you should say something, but tears begin to flow over your cheeks instead, causing the room to blur and Taehyung to pull you into a hug. “Okay, I have to admit this is the opposite of what I was going for.”
You press a watery chuckle into his chest. “This is incredible,” you gasp, shifting back to look at him.
“I’m glad you think so,” he says. “And that’s not even all. Come look.”
He guides you to the kitchen, where you now notice the counters are littered with all of your favorite comfort foods alongside the snacks you used to share growing up: sugar cookies and popcorn, potato chips and pretzels, brownies and bite-sized chocolates.
“Just like old times. And—“ He lifts the lid off a pot on the stove, and you’re quickly enveloped in the soothing scent of tomatoes and basil. “Spaghetti for dinner.”
It was the first meal you ever made together. In retrospect, the lumpy, acidic sauce you concocted in your parents’ kitchen that day was far from perfect. But at the time, you’d called it the best meal you’d ever eaten, and Taehyung has spent the subsequent years perfecting his own recipe. He doesn’t make it often, but when he does, it’s the perfect blend of nostalgia and warmth.
“And to think, all I brought you was this,” you say sadly, dangling the bag limply from your hand. But Taehyung snatches it from you in a flash, digging in like it’s a Christmas present. When he pulls out the papery white container, he grins like it’s much more than just half-melted ice cream.
“Rocky road?” he asks, smiling even more widely when you nod. “This is amazing, Y/N. Thank you.”
You study him quietly as he puts the ice cream away in the freezer—just to soak in this beautiful, home-shaped human being—and he raises his eyebrows at you when he turns back around.
“What?” he asks, the corners of his mouth twitching like he’s trying to hide yet another smile.
Heat rushes to your cheeks as you glance away. “Nothing.”
But the truth is, standing here in his kitchen, observing his tender movements as he carefully rearranges the snacks on the counter top—it’s the first time in a week that you’ve been able to breathe. And maybe it’s just because it’s been days of suffocating pressure around your chest, but the air pushing through your lungs now feels sweeter, richer as he looks up to capture your gaze again and gently takes your hand in his.
“Come see the inside.”
He pulls you to the mass of furniture and blankets, sweeping back an opening in the fabric to usher you in, and you gasp as he reveals the pillow fort of your childhood dreams.
It’s massive, tall enough for you to stand comfortably in, with wide walls and a tented ceiling that seems to suggest Taehyung has somehow tethered it to the apartment’s actual ceiling. The floor is absolutely packed with pillows, cushions, and heaps of additional blankets, and if you aren’t mistaken, there’s a literal mattress (maybe two?) buried underneath it all.
But the part that has your throat constricting on a sob, tears streaming once again, is the tiny side table he’s placed to the side, your star lamp glowing on top.
“How did—“ you choke, still taking it all in. The fort, the snacks, the lamp. “How did you—?”
“Found the lamp in your closet when we went to get you that bag of clothes.”
“And,” you wave a weak hand at the scene around you, “all of this?”
“Chugged a couple energy drinks,” he chuckles. “And Maya came by for a bit earlier to lend a hand.”
“Tae,” you say, wiping at your cheeks.
“Y/N.”
“This is…” Beautiful. Magical. Extraordinary. No single word seems adequate enough to describe what you’re feeling, his recreation of your childhood tradition to the nth degree tipping you into a state of practical euphoria after the hell of a week you’ve just had. You’d swear you feel like you’re about to combust with the amount of relief that’s flooding through your body in this moment, anger and grief giving way to joy and an overwhelming sense of fondness for the man in front of you.
You never complete your sentence, but Taehyung still seems to grasp your meaning, reaching out to squeeze your fingers one last time in a gesture of acknowledgment and understanding before he simply says, “Let’s eat.”
The two of you gather yourselves heaping bowls of pasta before burrowing into your pillow fortress, backs pressed up against the couch, which is being used to support one side of it.
“How was the rage room?” Taehyung asks, tomato sauce staining his lips.
“Surprisingly cathartic. But…”
“But?”
You rub at your temple before letting your hand fall in a huff. “Temporary. It all is. Every time I think I’m getting a moment to catch my breath, I feel like I’m being punched in the chest a second later.”
“It’s only been a week,” he says. “You’re grieving. It’s going to take time.”
“I don’t want it to though,” you snap, immediately regretting your tone, even though Taehyung looks unfazed. “I just want to turn it off. He did this terrible thing, and I should hate him for it. I want to hate him for it.”
“But you don’t,” Taehyung says, jaw clenching.
Throat swelling, you choke on the words as they find their way out. “I thought I was going to marry him.” The all-too-familiar pressure in your chest rears its head again, suffocating you from the inside. “We had all these plans.” Your breaths turn shallow, coming out in short, rough pants quickly joined by tears that Taehyung rushes to wipe away.
You’ve never known love could hurt like this until now, and for all intents and purposes, Jace was your first real love. You’d had a smattering of boyfriends in high school, but never anything long term until him—nothing that ever made your heart feel like it was going through a shredder, a blender, and a hurricane all at once when it ended. And it’s not just your idea of him or your relationship that you’re mourning, but also the future that you thought you’d have together. The dreams you had dared to dream when you’d traded ideas of rings and children and white picket fences while tangled together in bed.
Sensing an imminent panic attack, Taehyung pulls you into his lap and loops his arms around you, coasting his hands up and down your back in long strokes. He’s done this every time you’ve broken down around him over the past several days, the physical sensation giving you something else to focus on when the thoughts and memories of your now-ex come flooding through the mental barriers you’ve been trying and failing to construct.
You concentrate instead on the ministrations of Taehyung’s hands, the warmth of his large palms resting over your shirt, the glide of his fingers tracing your spine over and over. His fingertips trail up to your neck (inhale) and back down to your sacrum (exhale) on a loop as you clutch the soft fabric of his own shirt. And as the dread looming under your skin begins to ebb away, you notice how your breathing has synced up, pressed chest to chest like you’re two halves of one whole. It’s calming, the light press of his ribcage expanding against yours, and it serves as enough of a distraction to get yourself under control, your feelings stuffed back into their box for the time being.
When you lean back to look at him, his dark brown eyes map your face, steady as ever.
“Better?”
“Better.” You nod weakly. “But life would still be so much easier if love worked like a switch.”
His brow tilts downward a fraction, a touch of melancholy passing over his face. “If only.”
“That makes me an idiot though, right?” you ask. “To still feel for him even after that.”
“No, it makes you human,” Taehyung says, before his expression suddenly turns grave. “Has he contacted you?”
You sniffle, rubbing at your nose. “Nothing besides that one text saying he would clear out of the apartment.”
“Good,” he murmurs. “Listen, I think everything you’re feeling is normal, and you shouldn’t put any pressure on yourself to process it any particular way.” A pink tongue swipes over his bottom lip. “But please, Y/N. Please promise me you’ll never take him back if he asks.”
Truth be told, the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind until now—imagining a teary Jace on your doorstep, begging you to give him just one more chance. In spite of your lingering feelings for him, the image only stirs up a dull rage, disgust burning like acid in your stomach.
“Not a chance,” you say, twining your pinky around his for a brief moment, and he visibly relaxes, leaning back against the couch. “I don’t think I ever want to see him again. But it…it hurts.”
You struggle to pull in a breath that doesn’t want to come, chin dipping down to your chest before Taehyung begins to move. Long fingers reach out to squeeze your hips before nimbly dancing down to your ankles bracketing his legs, where they give you another squeeze. He works his way up your body from there, moving his hands to your knees. Squeeze. Your ribs. Squeeze. Your shoulders. Squeeze. Elbows. Squeeze. Wrists. Squeeze.
He’s pinching each joint of your fingers between the pads of his own when you finally ask, “Tae? What are you doing?”
He doesn’t even look up, zoned in on his task. “Putting you back together.”
“Is that how it works?”
“Yeah, Hobi and Joon have been giving me lessons.”
You snort, and it appears to be the reaction he was hoping for because he beams up at you as you keen forward with laughter until you’re practically sharing breath, faces mere inches apart.
Time freezes; something in the universe shifts.
Your eyes wander over his face, tracing the paths between details that you subconsciously know are there but which you’re not sure you’ve ever truly looked at: the deep brown of his eyes, the mole on the tip of his nose, the plush curve of his lower lip.
He’s beautiful. It’s something you’ve always been aware of—an obvious fact of life in the same way the sky is blue—but you’re also lucky enough to know that his beauty goes beyond a handsome face. It’s also in the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs with his whole body, the way he always carries crackers in his bag for photo shoots at the park so he can toss some to the ducks.
The way he’ll upend his entire apartment to help heal your broken heart.
Artificial stars dance around the fabric walls like fireflies as you become hyperaware of how his hands have drifted back to your hips, barely there but warm. It’s soothing, you think, to be held between the boundaries of his palms, as if nothing and no one can touch you here. But it’s always been that way, hasn’t it? He’s always been your primary source of comfort, your north star at every turn, propping you up within the safety of your own little world like he does now.
His warmth is a siren’s song that has you shifting closer, your hands sliding from his chest to his shoulders, when his grip on your hips suddenly tightens as he breathes out your name.
“Mmm?”
“We have snacks to get to.”
The bubble pops as Taehyung shifts you off his lap, darting away to the kitchen. You, however, stay firmly rooted to your spot in the blanket fort; your mind whirs, an unfamiliar tingling sensation gently working its way through your nerve endings and making your stomach dip. It’s not at all unpleasant, but you don’t know what to make of it, thoughts turning without reaching any kind of foregone conclusion until Taehyung ducks back under the blanket and into your space, arms overflowing with snack bags.
He smiles at you and your stomach dips again.
But your mind quiets.
He’s your person, you think. Undoubtedly now more than ever as he settles back down next to you like the rock he’s always been.
“Story time?” he murmurs, the light passing across his face as he hands you a bag of your favorite chips. You gently place it in your lap without opening it, still jittery from the way he held you only seconds ago. Watching you with hooded eyes, he frowns at your lack of movement, the way your fingers have stilled on the plastic. “Something wrong?”
“No,” you say, sitting up straighter so he doesn’t feel like you’re ignoring him. “Wouldn’t be a blanket fort without a story, right?”
If you didn’t know any better, you’d say the light on the walls is now radiating from Taehyung himself as he launches into a clearly premeditated narrative about a princess and her devoted, best friend of a knight. After being betrayed by a prince from a neighboring realm, the two embark on an epic journey to restore their own kingdom, traversing mountains and crossing oceans together to retrieve the enchanted crown jewel that the thieving prince had stolen away. Another handsome and charming prince captures the princess’s heart during their adventure, and, once her power is restored, the two marry in the most beautiful and romantic ceremony the kingdom has ever seen.
“And they live happily ever after,” Taehyung says with a flourish. He reaches over to steal a handful of potato chips before slipping a hand behind his head and settling deeper into the mattress. You frown down at him.
“But what about the knight?”
He slides a potato chip between his lips, lifting a dark eyebrow in confusion. “What about him?”
“Where’s his happily ever after?” you ask, almost annoyed on the fictional character’s behalf. “He climbed a mountain and fought a dragon for her. What did the prince do? Just stand there and look hot?”
His expression changes, eyes widening in subtle surprise. “It’s not his story.”
“But—“
“It’s not his story, Y/N.”
He says it with finality, so you drop it, left to grumble internally about what you feel was an unjust ending for the caring and loyal knight.
It was a sweet tale, but you can’t help but think that you would’ve written it differently.
The return to work isn't as bad as you anticipated. Your boss, Jia, noticing your frayed nerves, has been easing you back in slowly with a handful of softball projects just to get you going again. As much as you think you needed that week to cry and wallow, it feels good to get back to some form of normalcy and have work to focus on and keep your mind off of things as much as you can.
The shadows linger though, anxiety grabbing hold of your chest every time you remember you'll be going home to a different apartment that night instead of the one you shared with Jace.
Jimin's been joining you for lunch every day, hanging around outside the office cafeteria before you get there like he's staking you out. You call him out for it on Thursday, and he looks sheepishly down at the table with a nervous chuckle.
"I kinda promised Tae I'd make sure you eat."
"Of course," you sigh. Taehyung's been getting up early every morning to cook both of you breakfast, insisting that it's part of his normal routine.
He forgets that you used to live together, and you know he's more of a granola bar guy in the morning, eager to get himself out the door and moving as soon as possible.
"You're all doing too much for me," you murmur. "You shouldn't have to babysit me like—"
"We don't have to do anything," Jimin says forcefully. "We want to be there for you. We do these things because we care about you."
"I know, but I just…" You swallow hard. "I don't want you all to see me as this broken thing that you need to protect."
Jimin's whole demeanor softens, and he reaches across the table to take your hand. You'd be worried about how this looks—two coworkers holding hands at lunch—if you didn't feel the tears welling up again, the urge to cry sticking itself in your throat like molasses as you try to choke it down.
"Y/N, that's not what we think," he says softly. "You're our friend. And you're hurting. And after the trauma you went through, it's perfectly understandable for you to need a little more attention and care than usual. Honestly, if anything, I'm worried that you seem to be taking things better than expected, and I think that's because you're trying to put a brave face on for us sometimes."
He’s not off-base. Especially after your Distraction Day, you've been doing your best these past few days to bottle everything down so your friends don't worry as much, taking your time to cry in the shower or quietly at night when everyone else is asleep.
"All I'm saying is that you can lean on us. That's what we're here for. And if your tough face can't fool me, you're definitely not fooling Tae. Let him help before he goes crazy with worry.”
Honestly, relying on Tae has been the least of your problems, even though you’re a little concerned about how he’s been waking up earlier than usual for you. That man has been your rock for years, and receiving comfort from him is almost second-nature at this point. It’s how the two of you operate. Everyone else, however…
“I’m fine with Tae,” you tell him. “But I’ve never felt this…vulnerable around the rest of you. It used to just be Tae and I, hiding away from our problems in my room, and now—“
“You have us!” He beams. “That’s a beautiful thing, Y/N, can’t you see? You’re not alone anymore. Not you, not Tae. You have us. All of us. We’re going to get you through this. And if you need a silver lining, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen Jungkook and Maya this united against a common enemy before. I could’ve sworn I heard them the other night trying to figure out the best way to slash Jace’s tires without getting caught.”
“Don’t make me cry at work,” you say, blinking furiously to try and clear the sudden moisture from your eyes. “I think Jia is already prepared to send me home if I don’t stop sounding like I’m learning how to breathe for the first time.”
He laughs gently, giving your hand a squeeze before relinquishing it. “It’s going to get better, Y/N. I know I just called you our friend, but really, we’re family.”
The summer presses on in a haze as you focus on just getting through one day, one step at a time: get out of bed, go to work, come home, shower, try to get a few hours of fitful sleep, eat somewhere in between all of that. And before you know it, an entire month has passed.
Taehyung continues to make you breakfast every morning and insists on taking you to your favorite ramen place at least twice a week for dinner, watching you with concerned eyes from across the table. You’d give him shit for it if his worry didn’t feel so justified. If he wasn’t so persistent in making sure your base needs were being met, you’re not entirely sure you can say you wouldn’t be starving yourself in grief. And you know it makes him feel better to see you eating—how happy it makes him to care for others—so you don’t resist when he pushes an extra pancake onto your plate or orders you a second helping of noodles to go.
It’s one of your scheduled ramen nights when you get back from work a little later, a particularly emotional day preventing you from getting your tasks done on time. You drop your bag in the living room with a sigh, thankful that no one is around to ask you how your day was—you’re really not in the mood. Taehyung had sent you a text letting you know that he wanted to take a shower before you head out, needing one after a long day of photographing clients in the baking July heat. You can hear water running in the bathroom, so you assume he must still be in there.
The living room makes you feel vulnerable with its vaulted ceiling and tall windows, like you’re laid bare for the whole world to see. Because of this, you decide to wait for Taehyung in his bedroom, hopeful that you might be able to find some reprieve in his tucked-away space.
You’ve been in Taehyung’s room before, of course, but you’re not sure that you’ve ever taken the time to really peruse. Unlike Jace, Taehyung’s space is neatly organized, and you’re first drawn to the large bookcase that dominates the wall adjacent to the door. He’s stuffed it full of art anthologies: Van Gogh, Renoir, Monet, and Pollock giving way to old photography textbooks on the bottom shelves. About halfway down, you spot the bound collection of his own work that you’d had made for him as a college graduation gift (you got one for yourself too, and he’d blushed beautifully when you asked him to sign it).
Across the room, his bed is carefully made, dark bedding tucked cleanly under the mattress. In place of a nightstand and opposite the dresser, he’s set up a series of box shelves for his photography equipment—you spot lenses and tripods placed alongside gadgets you would have no idea how to use. His desk sits to the left, an impressive PC setup backed by a large cork-board brimming with post-it notes, business cards, and a photograph that has you stopping in your tracks.
The first photograph Taehyung ever took.
It’d been the spring right after you both turned sixteen, and Taehyung had finally saved up enough money from his newspaper job to buy his first camera at the secondhand shop. You’d gone along, bouncing up and down with excitement for him so vigorously that the shopkeeper kept giving you strange looks over the counter.
New toy in hand, Taehyung pulled you to the park, where the cherry blossoms were in full bloom—clusters of pastel pink contrasting wonderfully against the bright blue sky. You bought yourselves some kkwabaegi at a nearby food stall as Taehyung sat on a bench figuring out how to operate the camera. Distracted by the numerous dials and buttons, he didn’t even realize you had returned until you dusted his cheek with a bit of cinnamon sugar, teasing that his cheeks were just as fluffy as the donut you subsequently handed him with a smile.
Snacks finished, you strolled along the petal covered path, chatting about everything and nothing as Taehyung continued to fiddle with the controls.
“Are you going to be able to figure it out?” you asked, skipping ahead to pluck a wildflower out of the grass after several minutes had passed without him taking a single photo.
“Actually, I think I’ve just got it.”
“Really?” you said, turning around to face him and freezing at the sound of a click and the sight of the camera held at the ready in front of his face. His grin was full of mischief as he dropped his arms at your stunned look, and you rushed back to his side to give him a joking shove. “I wasn’t ready, you jerk. I’m going to look like an idiot.”
But Taehyung was still smiling widely, already striding down the path to line up his next shot. “Don’t worry. You looked perfect.”
You’d forgotten about the photograph after that day, as Taehyung never actually showed it to you. You figured that it probably didn’t turn out right, a blurry candid, and was scrapped. Now, looking at it, it’s not his best work, but it’s not nearly as bad as you’d pictured in the moment.
It’s you, backdropped by the pink of the blossoms, with delicate petals dancing around your form. Your eyes are bright and eager as you turn to face him, the corners of your lips upturned in the beginnings of a smile and the small purple flower raised halfway to your chest.
In spite of the struggles you know you were dealing with at home, you look content. Happy.
“Oh, you’re home.”
You jump, spinning around to face where Taehyung suddenly stands just inside the doorway, and you feel something flip low in your belly.
It’s not that you’ve never seen him shirtless—years of going to the beach house together have taken care of that—but here, in the low, intimate light of his bedroom, the sight of his mostly naked body strikes you in a way that it never has before. The veins in his arms and hands pop from the heat of the shower, skin tanned by his time spent outdoors. His dark hair is still wet and, as if on cue, a drop of water falls off the end of a ringlet, your eyes following as it rolls over sharp collarbones, down a toned chest and smooth stomach, and into the towel sitting low on his hips.
Taehyung clears his throat, and one look at his flushed face tells you that your perusal of his torso hasn’t gone unnoticed.
Why are you even looking?
“I—uh—sorry,” you mumble, snapping out of your trance also flustered, words spilling out in a jumble of unexpected nerves. “I had a rough day and just felt so exposed in the living room, and if Jimin or Kook showed up and asked me how I was, I was going to lose it so I came in here as a distraction, and I promise I wasn’t trying to snoop or anything—“
“Y/N, hey.” He crosses the room to where you stand, smiling gently down at you. “I don’t mind.”
You swallow, still looking for something to distract from the fact that you were very obviously just checking him out. “You still have this?” You point at the photo of yourself, and he looks at it, expression overcome with sentimentality.
“Yeah.”
“A reminder of how far you’ve come with your work?”
He turns his eyes back to yours, slow and warm as they settle on you. “A reminder of a perfect day,” he says, voice low, before creases form at his brow. “But your day wasn’t so good?”
Your gaze drops to the floor, and you suck your lips between your teeth in a gesture that is answer enough for him.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
He doesn’t push; never pushes. If you told him no, you know that’d be the end of it, and he’d spend the rest of your night together coming up with different threads of conversation to divert your attention. And perhaps it’s this awareness—his consistent and mindful respect of your boundaries—that makes you so willing to open up.
“I just can’t stop asking myself if I missed signs. If I could’ve done something different. Something better.”
“Y/N—“
“We were together four years, Tae. Four fucking years.” You pull in a breath, fighting off the stinging of tears in your eyes. “And in the end, I meant next to nothing to him.”
It’s the part you’ve been struggling with the most, how you gave him years of your life—nearly half of your twenties—and let him dig his fingers into your heart only to pull it apart like clay.
Revealed bits of yourself to him that you’ve only ever showed one other person.
That man stands in front of you now, gently scrutinizing your face as he considers your words. His hands drift your way as if of their own accord, hovering into your space without ever truly touching.
“Would you want to though?” he finally asks.
“What?”
“If you could’ve done something differently. Knowing what you know now.” A pink tongue darts out to lick his lips. “Would you?”
It’s a fair question, and you know what the right answer is supposed to be. You’re supposed to say that no, that son of a bitch can burn in hell for what he did. He’s trash, you can do better—all of the empty platitudes that are supposed to be expressed when a betrayal like this takes place.
But his actions don’t erase the years you spent together. Don’t mean that what you yourself felt wasn’t real.
And you loved him. You really did.
“I don’t know.”
Taehyung doesn’t exactly seem thrilled by that but nods nonetheless, his fingers wandering back to his sides to fidget with the edges of his towel. “You must know that none of it was your fault, though.”
“But if it was?” you question. “If I could’ve been a better girlfriend, a better partner—“
“It still wouldn’t have justified what he did.” There’s an edge to his voice now, a hint of anger. “Don’t you dare let that asshole make you feel like you deserved it.”
“But—“
“No. No buts,” he says roughly, hands shooting up to grip you around the elbows. “What he did is inexcusable. There’s no making sense of it, and there’s no one to blame but him.”
You know in your heart that what he says is true, but your newfound insecurities have had you questioning your sense of self—that maybe you had a part to play in what happened. A relationship is two people after all, maybe he wouldn’t have cheated if you had—
“You did nothing wrong,” Taehyung continues, reading your mind. “He made an active choice to sleep with someone else. If he had an issue with your relationship, he had a hundred other ways to approach it. He chose to do what he did.” His hands slide up to your shoulders, appraising. “You are kind and thoughtful. Fiercely loyal. Always want what’s best for those around you. You still get breathless for the first snowfall each winter and make the most delicious triple chocolate cake.” Fingers give you a gentle squeeze. “And you never take shit from anyone. Especially people who don’t give you the respect you deserve.”
His words are a balm sinking deep into your skin, but his voice sets something alight in your core, your veins thrumming at the spots where he holds you.
What in the world is this?
“Don’t let him convince you you’re anything less than the incredible person you are,” Taehyung continues, oblivious to your perplexed state. “And if he couldn’t value that, someone else will. Lots of other fish in the sea.”
He holds your stare, gaze boring into you like he can telepathically eliminate every doubt and insecurity rattling around your skull, and a stray voice at the back of your mind thinks that whichever woman eventually gets to wake up to those eyes every morning is going to be so damn lucky.
He frowns, licking his lips again as he finally notices that you’re not altogether with him. “Are you okay?”
Y/N, what the hell?
You give yourself a little shake, playing back what he just said. “I don’t know about that.”
“You’re not okay?”
“No,” you say, taking a step back so you can loosen his grip and clear your head. “About the whole fish thing. I kind of get it now.”
He’s clearly not following. “Get what?”
“Your break from dating,” you say. “Why you wanted to stop for a while.”
He raises a long finger to rub at his bottom lip. “That’s…not quite the same.”
“Why not?”
“There were…” He tilts his head as he considers his word choice, and another drop of water slides down his chest. “Underlying circumstances.”
Now it’s your turn to be confused. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means it’s a story for another time when you’re not trying to deflect by turning this around on me.”
“I’m not deflecting,” you argue. “I’m just saying I understand where you’re coming from now. Dating sucks. People suck.”
He chews at the inside of his lip, studying you. “That wasn’t my intention when I told you that.”
“Yeah, well when you told me that, we didn’t know that my boyfriend was fucking another woman,” you scoff.
He sighs at your crude reminder. “There is a third option, you know.”
“What’s that?”
“Just let yourself be,” he says. “You don’t need to rush into anything either way. If something happens, it happens. If not, then no pressure to look for it. But maybe don’t close yourself off from opportunities entirely just because one bastard made a terrible decision.”
“Tae,” you begin with an exhausted, rattling breath. But he cuts you off, already anticipating your protest.
“I just know you, and I know you’ve always believed in love. Dreamed of finding ‘the one’ and settling down.” He wrinkles his nose. “Made that whole wedding mood board after Haneul kissed you for the first time when we were fifteen.”
That makes you laugh. “Hey, you helped me cut out the pictures.”
“I did.”
You look at each other for an instant, twin smiles reflected on your faces before yours falls. “I just don’t know.”
“And that’s fine,” he says kindly, gently. “It’s okay to need time, and it’s okay to want to step away from dating for a while. It would just be awful if he ruined that part of you, you know?” His voice lowers even further. “It’s a wonderful part of you.”
You feel warm all over, like the comfiest, fluffiest blanket has been draped around your shoulders.
Honestly, what would you even do without this man?
“You’re a great guy, Tae. Do you know that?”
He blushes, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, and a tingle runs down your spine before he finally looks away.
“We should get going,” he tells you. “Namjoon and Hobi said they’d meet us.”
You dip your head, the moment gone. “Okay, but I’d recommend putting on some pants first.”
His face turns a deeper shade of red.
“Over here!”
Hoseok waves you down from a table at the back of the restaurant, pulling you in for a hug once you get there, just as he has every time he’s seen you since the incident with Jace. You’re then passed along to Namjoon, who embraces you with almost bone-crushing pressure.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, swaying you side-to-side. You just nod into his chest, giving him a tight squeeze before he releases you so you can slide into the seat next to Taehyung.
Aside from the hugs and the fact that the entire dinner is a ploy by Taehyung to get you to eat, the night feels relatively normal, and you’re grateful for it. Hoseok and Namjoon dramatically complain about the perils of medical school, regaling the two of you with stories about catastrophic anatomy labs and exam mishaps to your and Taehyung’s delight. The first blip comes when Hoseok absent-mindedly mentions an all-nighter of studying for boards while simultaneously working on seating arrangements before he immediately cuts himself off, throwing you a remorseful look.
“It’s fine, Hobi,” you say. “The world doesn’t just stop because my relationship did. And I’m still excited for you and Sunny.”
He nods but still looks apologetic, causing Namjoon to hop in with a change of subject. “Oh, by the way, I have my roommate situation settled.”
“Yeah?”
“Uh-huh, I’m moving in with my friend Yoongi at the end of the summer.”
“Your childhood friend?” Taehyung asks.
“That’s the one,” Namjoon confirms with a nod. “We’re planning on having a little housewarming party once we’re settled if you’ll be up for it.”
“Sounds fun,” you say. “And I’d like to meet him.”
“He’s a great guy. Musician. He’s moving into the city for work.”
“Well if you vouch for him, I’m sure he’s wonderful.”
You don’t notice it, but Namjoon gets a glint in his eye. Sipping on his water, he glances between you and Taehyung before saying, “Speaking of great guys, I’d also like to introduce you to someone.”
Taehyung stills beside you; you freeze in equally stunned silence.
Hoseok’s eyes nervously dart to Taehyung then you as he says, “Ah, Namjoon, I don’t think—“
“If you’re up for it, of course.” Namjoon looks only at you, his tone casual as if he doesn’t notice the sudden tension. “He also just got out of a long-term relationship and is kind of a mess about it. I’m thinking it might do both of you good to get back out there in a low pressure situation, especially with someone who understands.”
“I…” You don’t know what to say. You’d meant what you said to Taehyung about taking a break from dating, but you also trust Namjoon. He wouldn’t set you up with a creep, and maybe he does have a point about a low pressure date to at least take that first step.
But isn’t it too soon? You and Jace were together for years, and it’s only been a little over a month. Are you supposed to take more time? Or should you just get that first date over with? It hits you suddenly that you don’t even know how to meet people now that you’re out of school. How do capital-A Adults even find dates? Maybe it would be better to meet up with someone that’s already been vetted by one of your friends instead of some random on a dating app.
Namjoon speaks up again as your mind spins. “It’s entirely up to you. I can give you his number, and if you decide to reach out, great. If not, no harm, no foul.”
Still undecided, you turn for a second opinion. “Tae, what do you think?”
But he’s staring intently at Namjoon, expression indecipherable. Namjoon finally shifts his attention from you to engage in an intense staring contest with Taehyung across the table, the two of them clearly having some kind of silent conversation while Hoseok looks on in obvious discomfort.
You’re sitting there—just trying to figure out what the hell is going on—when Taehyung abruptly faces you, slipping a hand over your knee.
“I think you should go for it.”
His eyes are sincere, his hand hot where it rests on your skin.
“Other fish in the sea, right?”
You blink at him. Well, that’s that then. If there’s anything in the world you have complete faith in, it’s that Taehyung would never lead you astray.
Turning back to Namjoon, you shift so Taehyung’s fingers fall away. “What’s his name?”
Namjoon smiles.
“Seokjin.”
a/n: the next two parts are my favorite, and part 4 is already around 85% written so i'll be looking to get that out asap! in the meantime, please consider leaving a like, reblog, or feedback!
title ; the sun & the stars
pairing ; taehyung x you
word count ; 6k
masterlist | part one | part two | part three | part four | part five
description ;
taehyung’s known you almost his whole life - his sister’s best friend, the girl who invades his home and his life on the daily. you’re the one who gave his sister the nickname ‘sky’ to begin with - and also the one who relented when he whined about it at age five and said okay, you can be the stars, then.
it’s funny, because to him, you’re just the petty, mischievous neighbor from across the street with a penchant for stealing his snacks. but over the years, you’ve somehow landed yourself a reputation that stretches beyond the 1.5 year age gap he has with you - for someone who generally likes to keep things low key, you sure have a way of drawing attention.
sky’s friendly, teasing best friend is known for being cold, impassive, and immovable. which is weird, because when he’s around you, all he sees are unabashed grins and terrible jokes. until he realizes maybe he doesn’t know you like he thought he did. maybe they’re right - it just so happens that the walls you throw up around him look a little different from the walls you throw up around everyone else.
tracklist ; willow - taylor swift, give me your forever - zack tabudlo ft. billkin, limbo - keshi
tags ; college!au, best friend’s little brother!au, childhood friends to lovers, angst, a lot of it, fluff, mentions of absent parents and financial instability, insecurity, brief mentions of infidelity, arguing, fun fact i wrote this entire fic based almost entirely off one (1) scene in this chapter lol, please give my girl sun a hug after this is over thank u
Kick Up the Fire and Let the Flames Break Loose | MYG, KTH (m)
Summary: Years after you gave up on him, Kim Taehyung appears back in your life: Are you the same person you were back then? Do you still love him? And why is it, with the supposed love of your life back, that you can’t stop thinking about the taciturn rapper who you has just come into your life?
Featuring: producer/rapper!Yoongi x reader, singer!Taehyung x reader & brother!Jimin
Genres: f2e2s2?, s2f2?, nonidol!au, angst, SMUT
Warnings: 🔞 lots of swearing, a fair whack of angst and so much smut (each chapter will have its own warnings - but you can expect swearing and mature themes in all chapters so minors, this really isn’t suitable for you, sorry)
SERIES MASTERPOST
Prologue: Gone
▷ Ancient history ❯ ❛ Your heart doesn’t break, it shatters like broken glass. You can almost hear the cold fracturing noise as the cracks spread like fault lines and then it implodes - you have never known pain like it ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 1: Dumb Idleness
▷ In difficult circumstances, you make an unlikely new friend ❯ ❛ Yoongi is not by nature an affectionate or touchy person, but even he feels the desire to give you a hug ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 2: That Excuse
▷ A homecoming; a concert; faces old and new ❯ ❛ He realises fate was kind enough to give him another chance and bring you here tonight, he might not get another one ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 3: Prolong the Talk
▷ Some things refuse to stay in the past ❯ ❛ He holds a bottle of fruit soju in one hand and two glasses in the other, and smiles at you, “Drink with me?” ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 4: Kick Up the Fire
▷ You turn to an old friend in difficult times ❯ ❛ He watches as the tension and fear leaves your face, the furrowed brow being replaced with bright, sparkling eyes and a broad smile he hasn’t seen directed towards him in years ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 5: Beating Two O’Clock
▷ Friendship blossoms but trouble brews on the horizon ❯ ❛ he regards you in the low neon lights of the room as the two of you talk the night away, your face is half pink, half green and it feels like he’s in a dream ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 6: The Windy Street
▷ Everyone has an opinion ❯ ❛ you seem to exist on the very edge of a precipice at the moment, and he wonders how long you can maintain the fragile balance you’re holding before you fall off the edge ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 7: Let the Flames Break Loose
▷ Everything changes ❯ ❛ You’re ashamed to see apprehensiveness bloom in his eyes as he holds you closer, physically flinching as you open your mouth to speak. Is this how people see you? you think sadly, some cold monster who can so easily inflict hurt on others? ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 8: The Instantaneous Grief of Being Alone: Part 1
▷ Confessions and realisations flow thick and fast ❯ ❛ like all those years ago when you fled on a plane to London, you rest your head against the window and let the tears flow freely down your face ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 8.5: High Bells (a little drabble)
▷ Mother knows best ❯ ❛ she gazes out on the water, her eyes drawn to the gentle ripples caused by the soft white blossoms that fall from above her like tiny bridal veils onto the still surface of the water ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 9: The Instantaneous Grief of Being Alone: Part 2
▷ Actions have consequences and you have to deal with them all ❯ ❛ You feel yourself giving in to the pressure surrounding you; your control slips through your fingers like sand ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 10: Drive the Shadows Back
▷ Your own series of unexpected events ❯ ❛ The city is so vast and expansive, glittering broadly in front of you, as wide as the ocean but with no horizon in sight; you always feel so small and anonymous here and you gain some peace from the quietness of that ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 11: The Night Comes to Rest
▷ You learn to let go ❯ ❛ You sit together under the heavy sky for hours, talking of everything and nothing. Eventually the sun rises, lifting the blanket of darkness and offering a new day, yet, somehow, there’s less comfort to be found in that than there was in the darkness that settled around you while you lay safe in his arms ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 11 (and a bit): Taehyung’s Year
▷ Taehyung tries to move forward ❯ ❛ Every day I have missed you, it sits in the marrow of my bones as a deep ache that I can never be rid of ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 11 (and a bit): Yoongi’s Year
▷ Yoongi stands still ❯ ❛ Over the course of the next hour, truths are spilled that flow through the studio like floodwater. Not that they were in much doubt, but both Hobi and Namjoon now know exactly how Yoongi feels about you ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 12: The Guest
▷ Fresh starts ❯ ❛ He forces himself to continue, almost inviting his own anguish by seeking to confirm his worse fears. He knows it will hurt but he can’t resist, like a child waggling a loose tooth ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 13: Across the Mind
▷ Are things as peaceful as they seem? ❯ ❛ He takes a long gulp of water from the cool bottle in his hand and is halfway through screwing the cap back on when a sound he has never before heard you make causes the it to slip from his hand. Water chugs slowly from the bottle onto the floor like a jumping pulse ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Epilogue teaser
Epilogue: This
▷ Does time really heal all wounds? ❯ ❛ “You’re finally here,” you say relieved ❜
⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Character map: As this fic has progressed, there are now so many named characters that I understand it might become confusing, the relevant ones, and how they connect into the narrative, are outlined in the map!
Do I ever learn my lesson about basing fics around poetry quotes? No, I do not… have I leant it to the concept even harder this time? Yeah… 🙄
Back to main masterlist
I will happily take requests or asks etc! Character asks always open even if the fic is now finished!
saudade ; “a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something/someone that one cares for and/or loves.”
➵ summary : a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasn’t so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasn’t the same anymore; and you decide it’s time to find out why.
➵ pairing : idol!taehyung x choreographer!reader
➵ genre : angst, smut, fluff (the holy trinity), idol!au, established relationship!au
➵ rating : 18+
➵ word count : 16k
➵ warnings : sexual content, swearing, dom + sub dynamics, dom!tae, fingering, oral (f. receiving), lots of dirty talk, t e a s i n g because let’s face it this is tae, big dick!tae, cock sliding, marking, restraint (with his own hands), unprotected sex (wrap it up peeps), rough sex, mushy i miss you sex, lots of feels, tae undresses reader (it’s hot i promise), praising, name kink, slight body worshipping, slight brat-handling, forced orgasm, creampie, one spank, tiny impreg kink, aftercare
➵ a/n : wow, my first fic on tumblr!! i’m beyond excited to finally be sharing my stories and writing, hopefully i can let you escape into a whole new world and enjoy my works! comments and feedback are always appreciated <3
2:27AM.
He still wasn’t home.
Texts on delivered, calls unanswered, radio silence on all social media.
I decided to split the list of my fav fics, so every member has their own page.
As usual, I hope you’ll find it useful and please remember to give some feed back to the authors 💕
FAV FICS MAIN LIST
✨ - Masterpieces (my all time favourites)
A Human Touch ✨ by @snackhobi // three shot // 39.2k // f, s, a // android au
All I Want for Christmas is You by @ladyartemesia // one shot // 17k // f, s // brother’s best friend au, heir au, enemies to lovers au
Always The Bridesmaid by @kookingtae // one shot // 34.1k // f, s, a // enemies to lovers au, strangers to lovers au, christmas au
Any Way You Want It by @noteguk // one shot // 6.6k // s // childhood friends au, friends with benefits au, college au
Before Dawn by @amourtae // one shot // 5k // f, s // established relationship au, idol au
Change by @junghelioseok // series // 39.2k // f, s, a // strangers to lovers au
Crowds Around Us by @taegularities // one shot // 12.6k // f // strangers to friends to lovers au
Definition of Love by @taegularities // one shot // 10.5k // f, s, a // college au, enemies to friends au, friends to lovers au, enemies to lovers au
Dichotomy by @kpopfanfictrash // one shot // 15.5k // f, s, a // arranged marriage au, childhood friends au, friends to enemies au, enemies to lovers au, christmas au
Experimental Error by @kookingtae // two shot // 14.8k // s // best friend au, friends with benefits au
Get You The Moon by @bymoonchild // one shot // 19.6k // f, s, a // college au, jock au, enemies to lovers au, reporter au, football au
Guns & Roses by @chateautae // one shot // 9k // f, s // mafia au, established relationship au
Heatwave + Godless + Heatwave drabbles ✨ by @curly-bangtan // two shot + drabbles (basically series) // 94.4k // f, s, a // roommate au, friends with benefits au, friends to lovers au
Helping Hands by @snackhobi // one shot // 13.3k // f, s // roommate au, friends to lovers au
Insomnia + three drabbles by @hobiwonder // one shot + drabbles // 12.2k + 5k // f, s // college au, fuckboy au, jock au, nerd au, friends with benefits au, tutor au, friends to lovers au
Krank It Up by @ilikemesometaetaes // one shot // 17k // f, s, a // strangers to lovers au, christmas au
Let it Snow by @suga-kookiemonster // one shot // 18.8k // f, s // friends with benefits au, friends to lovers au, christmas au
Maybe I Do ✨ by @chateautae // series // 419k // f, s, a // arranged marriage au, ceo au, strangers to lovers au
Nox by @hobidreams // one shot // 10.5k // s // fantasy, vampire au
Of Lace and Lust by @hobidreams // one shot // 11.8k // f, s // roommates au, childhood friends au, friends to lovers au, college au
Page Turner by @gukslut // one shot // 13.6k // f, s, a // teacher au, strangers to lovers au
Paper Cranes by @aquaminwrites // one shot // 18.3k // f, s, a // friends to lovers au, childhood friends au, college au
Papillon by @readyplayerhobi // one shot // 15k // f, a // childhood friends au, pregnancy au, friends to lovers au
Picking Flowers by @jamaisjoons // one shot // 40k // f, s, a // hanahaki au, childhood friends au, friends to lovers au, neighbors au
Poetry of The Stars by @jjiimin // one shot // 25.4k // f, a // childhood friends au, friends to enemies au, enemies to lovers au
Queen Cobra ✨ by @fantasybangtan // series, not finished // 64.7k // f, s, a // arranged marriage au, mafia au, enemies to lovers au
Ruin You ✨ by @taegularities // series, ongoing // s // pwp, established relationship au
Rupture; Rapture by @inkedtae // one shot // 13.2k // f, s, a // exes au, friends to lovers au, enemies to lovers au
Saudade by @chateautae // one shot // 16k // f, s, a // established relationship au, idol au
Seeing Red by @borathae // series // 53.5k // f, s, a // office au, friends to enemies au, enemies to lovers au
Serva me, Servabo te by @your-daily-biaswrecking // series // 66.4k // f, s, a // photographer au, enemies to lovers au
Shutter Sounds by @borathae // three shot // 49.5k // f, s, a // enemies to friends au, friends to lovers au, photography au, college au
Soaring High by @taegularities // one shot // 8.5k // f, s // single dad au, pwp, strangers to lovers au
Songs About You by @taegularities // two shot // 26.5k // f, s, a //ceo au, friends with benefits to lovers au, childhood friends au
Sorry, I love you by @btssmutgalore // one shot // 7.4k // f, s, a // friends to lovers au, best friends au
Spoilers by @foxymoxynoona // series // 32.7k // f, s, a // strangers to lovers au, medical worker au, parent au
Tales of Broken Hearts by @taegularities // one shot // 24.8k // f, s, a // childhood friends au, exes to lovers au
Tempting by @kinktae // series // s, a // fantasy, strangers to lovers
The Diary of a Healing Heart ✨ by @taegularities // series // 57.2k // f, s, a // strangers to friends au, friends to lovers au, college au
The Holi-Date ✨ by @kpopfanfictrash // one shot // 40.5k // f, s, a // fake dating au, neighbors au, strangers to lovers au
Too Long; Didn’t Read by @fortunexkookie // one shot // 11.4k // f, s // college au, enemies to lovers au
Under Wraps by @jungkxook // one shot // 15k // f, s // fake dating au, enemies to lovers au, christmas au
Waterloo by @kinktae // one shot // 13k // f, a // strangers to lovers au, artists au, Paris
White Lies by @yoonia // series // 67k // f, s, a // childhood friends au, friends to lovers au, reunion au
teeny tidbits: emma comes home past curfew & y/n's not happy about it
➺ genre; kindergartenteacher!taehyungiverse!! honk honk humour!! sixteen year old emma reminds y/n of herself and she doesn't know if that's a bad thing or a good thing
➺ wordcount; 1.5k
➺ p.s. this takes place far faR off into the future!! i just thought it'd be nice to see emma as a spunky teenager :'))
(unfortunately i wasn’t able to track down the original maker of this gif but this is where i sourced it from! all credits go to the original creator of course :-))
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
the sound of the front door rattling at four in the morning would usually be something that would terrify pretty much anybody, but for you-
"oh, come on!"
it's really just another day in the life.
"em's home," taehyung reaches over slowly to pat your stomach and wake you up (as if you haven't been up waiting for the past four hours), his voice laced with sleep as he rolls to the side, "i'll go open the-"
"nope." you reach over to turn the lamp on before flicking the covers off and stepping out of bed, adjusting the strap of your tank top before pointing a finger at taehyung, "you're not opening anything."
"okay, well-" taehyung pauses before propping himself up a little to frown at you, "wait, what?"
"you know, i cannot believe her-" you snap, pulling your hair up into a bun as you hurry over to the window, "it's like she likes to be grounded! i told her she could go out with her friends as long as she came back before curfew, but no-"
"well, it's not that late, is it?" taehyung tosses the pillow he's hugging to his chest aside before turning to look at the clock sitting on his bedside table, "it's only- oh. it's 4:18."
you unlock the latch on the window before digging your fingers underneath it and pulling it up with a snap, watching as emma rushes out from the front porch at the sudden noise
"why, good morning, miss kim!" you call out, leaning down against the edge of the open window with a bright smile, "now i can rest well knowing you weren't murdered tonight."
"the door's broken or something!" emma strategically ignores your snarky comment, placing a hand on her hip before sticking her hand up in the air to flash you her keys with a jingle, "my keys aren't working!"
"oh, your keys are fine, sweetheart." you let out a sigh before scrunching your nose, "i triple-locked the doors. better to be safe than to be sorry, right?"
"okay, well-" emma pauses, scratching the back of her neck before gesturing towards the door, "are you gonna open the door for me or what? i really have to pee-"
"you could always take a squat and pee in the bushes." you point out, emma's jaw dropping slightly before she lets out a scoff
"are you serious? i'm not taking a piss in the bushes-"
"well, i guess you should've thought of that before coming home four hours past curfew!" your tone changes as soon as you get to the point and even from here you're able to make out the slight twitch of panic that runs through emma's body
"don't be ridiculous, i'm not four hours past curfew-" emma grumbles, turning to pull her phone out of her purse and glancing at it before pausing for a second and then looking back up at you, "i'm... four hours and twenty minutes past curfew. so take that!"
"you know, i was just being nice and i rounded down, but if you wanna say you were four hours and twenty minutes late, we can definitely say you were four hours and twenty minutes late-"
"mom!" emma whines, stomping her foot down on the ground as she shoves her phone back into her (your!!) purse hastily, "you can't just- are you seriously not going to let me into the house?! you're gonna make me sleep out on the front porch?! i can't- what if the coyotes get me?! if the coyotes get me, you're gonna regret this decision so bad-"
"the only thing that's going to attack you in this neighbourhood are the little girl scouts who won't leave you alone until you buy, like, ten boxes of cookies from them-"
"i'm sixteen, mother!" emma cuts you off with another whine and you can't help but roll your eyes at the sight of your daughter throwing a tantrum on the front lawn, "i'm grown! i should be allowed to go out with my friends and come home whenever i want!"
you thought you were 'grown' at sixteen too
(spoiler alert: that was not the case at all.)
obviously you love your daughter more than anything in the world but you hate that she inherited one of the traits that you're not fond too of: your stubbornness
and look, of course you know that she's getting older and that she should be allowed to go and have (safe) fun with her friends but this isn't the first time she's broken the rules and knowing her, it certainly won't be the last time
and it doesn't help that taehyung always gets to play good cop and you have to be the bad one!!!
like last time when the two of you caught emma climbing into the house through one of the windows and she ended up getting stuck - instead of reprimanding her for coming home late again, taehyung just laughed and immediately went over to help her out
sure, the sight of your daughter flailing around trapped in a small window was hilarious, but someone had to be the serious one in the situation (1) she lied to you about just having a chill night with her friends because you're pretty sure a chill night doesn't involve body glitter and the faint smell of vodka on her breath! 2) she climbed up the side of the house like a maniac and could've gotten seriously injured????) and of course the responsibility to do that fell onto your lap
taehyung's also just not very good at disciplining which is why you usually gently push him aside and take the lead and it looks like it's time for you to turn on your i'm not mad, i'm just very disappointed in you act once again
"you're going to wake your brother up if you keep screaming like that, and you know how fussy he gets when he doesn't get a good night's sleep-"
"he's the world's sleepiest baby, i could blow up fireworks in his room and he'd be fine- dad!" emma's eyes immediately light up when a sleepy taehyung suddenly pops up next to you and you raise a brow when he nudges you aside gently, "oh my god, thank god- mom's literally being insane right now, you have to let me in-"
"what time did you say you'd be home?" taehyung interrupts, "because i think we agreed on midnight when i dropped you off at hope's apartment..."
"i-" emma presses her lips together before letting out a little scoff and rolling her eyes, "okay, yes, we- i said i would be home by midnight, yes." she sighs before suddenly perking up again, "it's not my fault, though! no one goes home before midnight, it's so lame- hope's dad lets her stay out as long as she texts-"
"ah, texts! let's talk about that! didn't you say you'd text us to let us know where you were if you weren't home by midnight?" taehyung points out, crossing his arms over his chest before reaching up to stroke at his chin to feign deep thought, "because my phone hasn't gone off all night... has yours, darling?" he hums, turning to glance at you
"nope!" you chime in with a helpless little shrug and you nearly crack a smile when you see emma reach up to pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration, "my phone has been dead silent. no texts. not even an emoji!"
"you hear that, emma? not even an emoji." taehyung tsks, shaking his head in disappointment, "you know what this means, don't you?"
"i'm grounded for two weeks, i know-"
"two weeks?? oh, you're grounded for a month." taehyung pauses for a second before looking down at her again, "and! and you have to change all of your brother's diapers the whole time you're grounded. also, i just want to let you know that he had sweet potatoes for dinner and you know how gassy he gets after a helping of sweet potatoes-"
"a month?!" emma roars and your eye twitches at how high her voice goes, "you can't ground me for a month, lucas is throwing this huge party next weekend and i have to be there! are you kidding m-"
taehyung slides the window back down before emma gets to say anything else and he turns to face you with a grin before opening his arms slightly, "well?? what did you think??"
"i think... that was probably one of the sexiest things you've ever done for me." you laugh lightly, happily giving him a quick kiss when he leans in for one
"duly noted." taehyung beams before letting out a quick sigh and then turning on his heels to head to the door, "okay, i'm going to go let our daughter into the house now because i don't think my hydrangeas are going to survive being peed on-"
🎙️give emma some diaper changing tips (talk to my characters/send in a message!)
✨why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here? (full fics!)
💫or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles! mini series!)
🌟or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits like this one!)
➛ genre: angst, eventual smut, college au, unrequited love au, friends to possible lovers au, fuckboy au, slow burn
➛ series summary: falling in love with your best friend can be painful, especially if those feelings aren’t returned. and there is only so much your heart can take before it finally breaks. and when that time comes you must then decide whether you want to continue your friendship, or end it for your own sake.
comment or send an ask to be on the taglist
prologue: the first time he leaves you hanging
for the first time ever, your weekly movie night doesn’t end in smiles and laughs but instead in tears and heartache.
chapter one: forgiveness, maybe
taehyung attempts to apologize for last night—by taking you out on a romantic dinner.
chapter two: holiday shopping and first time greetings
while shopping for the upcoming holidays, you and taehyung happen to run into the girl he has been sleeping with for nearly half a year. choi jia.
chapter three: the painful truth
hurtful words are exchanged, hearts are left aching, one party is feeling nothing but anger while the other is left betrayed, and broken.
chapter four: losing hope
a trip that was suppose change everything, changes everything—just not in a way you wanted it to.
chapter five: christmas surprises
christmas time has arrived, mixed feelings finally come to light, and an unexpected guest suddenly shows up.
chapter six: traditions are meant to be broken
when it’s time for you and taehyung’s annual christmas tradition, two people come between you two and leave you both questioning yourselves.
chapter seven: the heartbreaking truth
the words that you never wanted to hear, finally comes out, crushing the last bit of hope you had left.
chapter eight: slowly losing you(coming soon)
days has passed since that night and you are beginning to accept the fact that you and taehyung will never happen. as for taehyung, he can feel you slowly pulling away from him.
→ the things i never told you — a jeongguk scenario
member: jeon jeongguk
word count: 6.8k
genre: college!au + smut + fluff + slight crack + best friends to lovers (idiots to lover really)
warnings: mad pining but both side is oblivious / jk and oc like each other but there’s a misunderstanding between them / jealousy / taehyung is an instigator / future smut / it’s a no nut november fic so pretend it’s november plz / mentions of ahegao (this fic is not about that!!) / oc is not a girl's girl im afraid (jealousy is a disease and she is chronically ill!!)
soundtracks: sgl (now,now) + built this way, (samantha ronson) + drew barrymore, (sza) love flew away, (laufey & adam melchor) + cry, (cat & calmell)
summary: jeon jeongguk is your best friend—and nothing more. you’ve grown up with guy, watched him stumble through his awkward puberty, cheated on tests with him, witnessed his first kiss (which only happened because you persuaded him to kiss siyeon) which only strengthened your unbreakable bond. but now you’re in college and jeongguk isn’t an awkward preteen who needs your help to get girls anymore. it creeps onto you slowly, that feeling you’re harbouring for your best friend. but you’re determined to ignore—that is until taehyung sets of a chain of events that land you in a very interesting predicament.
PART — ONE (you are reading) // TWO // THREE
In retrospect, you should have expected it to start with Taehyung. It’s fitting he would be the catalyst given his explosive and somewhat inconsiderate nature. But nothing could have prepared your heart for the things that followed in his wake. Especially when the delicate ribbon holding your world together began to unravel on a serene winter afternoon. It started unseemly, with a simple study date being the scene of the first crime.
You’re huddled in a cosy corner of the library, weary eyes glued to your bright computer screen as a bitter breeze waged war on the world outside. The settling of winter has always felt silently violent to you; brief days coldly cutting into nights, heavy winds that knocked you about on your daily treks to class, and the trees lining campus shedding their coats of gold and copper. Every part of you ached to be nestled underneath the reassuring heaviness of the weighted blanket your dad had recently purchased for you. Perhaps with a mug of hot chocolate heating your palms and an intriguing true crime documentary ready to watch. Instead, you’re stuck staring at the same paragraph in what has to be the twentieth journal article you’d read in the past hour or so, in hopes of deciphering a slither of meaning from the jumble of abused academic jargon. Maybe if you rested your forehead on the screen the words would magically transfer into comprehensible information through osmosis? Maybe.
Your heavy sighs eventually catched Namjoon’s attention. He nudges his thin wired frames up his nose bridge as he raises his head in your direction, eyebrows furrowed with concern. You’re mildly infuriated by how productive Namjoon has been beside you; his highlighters are strewn across his political theory printouts with a myriad of sticky notes featuring his scrawny handwriting stuck all over them. You watch him wait for the Forest app notification on his phone to bing—indicating the end of his focused studying period—before his attention lands on you fully.
“What’s wrong with you?” It’s a deep murmur that coaxes you closer, calming in a manner that can only be attributed to Namjoon.
"Tell me why I'm an engineering major again?" you mumble. He blinks slowly, carefully processing the forlorn look on your face.
"Because you want to make money?" Namjoon replies nonchalantly, like that's the most obvious reason he can muster up.
You kick him hard under the table, relishing the whispered groan that erupts from his lips. "You asshole you can't say that!" you mutter, dropping the pen you were holding on the table. It wasn't like you were taking notes anymore.
"Ow! Sorry! Because you want to change society for the better? Build better things?"
Your frown is fixed on your face.
"Man, anyway, I don't know. That's a question you have to answer for yourself," he tacks on, a tinge of annoyance in his tone. His eyes keep flickering to the timer on his screen. He only allocates himself a ten-minute break before he has to dive right back into his readings. His progress was making you want to rip your hair out.
"Why is it so hard?" you whine, voice raised much to his chagrin. "I just want to graduate. I don't want to work for it!"
"Unfortunately, you kind of have to," he notes, fluffing his flaxen hair with a hand covered in navy ink marks. "How about, you read," he leans over, squinting at the title of the article you were stuck on. "Not going to even bother to try and make sense of that, but finish that—whatever it is—and when I end this study session, I'll buy you a snack on the way out." The prospect of free food makes you nod in agreement. You're enticed enough to stay put in the hard plastic seat beneath you, butt freezing from the cold even with the heating on this library, as Namjoon's gaze shifts back to his work. There's only a handful of moments of silence before Taehyung comes bounding around the corner, a broad boxy devious grin plastered on his face.
(You really should have known).
"Hello, losers. I knew I would find you here," he says, plopping down on the empty set beside Namjoon. "Studying on Halloween. Tragic."
You flick your pen at him, which narrowly misses his cranium and instead lands on the brown carpeted floors. "Some of us want to graduate," you reply, ignoring the side-eye Namjoon sends you. "Why are you here, dingus?"
His smile broadens. "Neither of you were responding to my texts." Your phone is buried under the mountain of textbooks plopped on the desk. That was the only way to get that distraction away from your line of vision. You know Namjoon probably has his notifications off, he usually does. "So I came to ask you cunts in person whether you're coming to Jimin’s party tonight.”
You pause, briefly considering it but you already know the answer. You have a lab tomorrow and you'd rather go in with a clear mind and not a raging hangover. Also, it was the middle of the week, too many responsibilities looming over your head for you to really let loose.
"Nope. Can't," you say. Namjoon follows with the same response, which draws Taehyung’s eyebrows together in exasperation.
"The both of you need to take a break," he mumbles, poking Namjoon with your pen. He'd plucked it up from the ground a moment ago. "You, my kind sir, look dead. Need I remind you that a textbook won't give you good head after a long exhausting day."
You frown at that, bemused by what he's indirectly applying. "Are girls required to give you head after a long day? Especially when your dick smells like blue cheese?"
"Hey," he retorts. "I keep my mini-me as clean as I can. If anyone has a hygiene problem it’s Jeongguk. I'm eighty percent sure his cum tastes like battery acid. Have you seen the boy ever drink water? Or eat something that wasn't spicy ramen and Hot Cheetos? I think not."
You want to argue but Taehyung was right. Jeongguk's diet was trash. It was astounding that he even had a functioning body with all the nonsense he stuffs down his throat. You'd seen him dip his pizza slice in ranch once. Like a bona fide mukbanger.
"Also," Taehyung continues. "I always return the favour. Pussy tastes better after a long day anyway. Got to let the juices marinate, you know."
The repugnance on Namjoon's face is palpable but feel a smile crack across your face against your will.
"First of all, don't ever say anything like that again," Namjoon starts off, clicking his pen impatiently. "Secondly, some of us actually need to study."
"I study!" Taehyung protests, poking Namjoon again. It leaves a bold blue mark on his beige cashmere sweater. "Oops sorry! Just because I'm a business major doesn't mean I don't study."
"Seokjin told me you take naps in the middle of the lectures," you interject, snatching the pen from his hand before he can do more damage to Namjoon's clothes.
"That little—listen—I'm a growing man. I need daily naps. Sometimes they're in the middle of the class. Professor Bang doesn't make much sense when he's talking anyway." You're about to interrupt when he raises his voice, his words drowning yours. "And! My grades are still fantastic, my mental health isn't trash and I eat pussy at least thrice a week. Can either of you say the same?"
You hate to admit it but he's right. The stress you were under was starting to make you crack and the last time you'd fumbled under the sheets had been months ago. The only thing stopping you from ending it all was the pink dual stimulation vibrator you'd bought a month ago. You'd gotten more use out of it than you'd expected but it’s not like you had anyone warming your bed—although that is not something you like to dwell on. Regardless, you couldn't risk getting a hangover in the middle of the week.
"How about," you suggest, noting the way Namjoon was staring at Taehyung. Like he wouldn't mind duct-taping his mouth shut. You wouldn’t object to the act if it came to it. "We reschedule for Saturday? I'm probably going to be free and it would work better for everyone."
Taehyung hums, considering it. The sooner you get him to reach a compromise the faster he'll leave the library. A win-win for everyone at this table. "I can ask Jimin. I think he invited a few people from his class though. Someone called Yoongi? Maybe he can change it.”"
"Ask him and then text me if he can," you say, blatantly leaving Namjoon out of that request.
But then Taehyung cocks his head, soft black hair tipping sideways with the movement. "But that defeats the purpose."
"Of what?" Namjoon says, exasperated.
"No Nut November starts tomorrow. Tonight was meant to be the final nut before we all abstain. You really haven't read the group chat?" That's a stupid question to ask and he knows it. But you're too caught up on the topic he'd just mentioned. He ducks fast when your notebook comes flying in his direction. It hits the ground with a resounding thud that you feel in your chest, the plastic cover bending as it collides with the ground. You ignore the harsh glares of the select few students in the library and focus instead on Taehyung's cowering figure.
"You're throwing a party to have sex with girls?" you hiss, voice low to escape the prying attention of your sudden audience. Namjoon is busy popping his earphones into his ears, fingers tapping through a selection of piano music on Spotify.
"Isn't that the purpose of parties?" he retorts, eyebrows drawn together. "And hey, I'm a flexible guy. Girls, boys? Who cares? They just have to be hot."
You ignore the latter section of his response. "Pick up my notebook," you demand first. "And that's one of the purposes but not the sole one. It's kind of gross for you to use people like that."
Taehyung hands you the notebook obediently, shrugging with nonchalance. "They're also using me. Mutual usage. So it cancels out or whatever. And I've already jacked off four times today. The sex will just knock me out. Make sure my balls are empty—I'm not losing that bet."
You drop the notebook like it's on fire and offensively branding you when he mentions his recent masturbation. You pray there are wet wipes buried somewhere in your bag. You don't trust Taehyung enough to believe he's washed his hands. "You're a fucking ape," you comment. "And what bet?"
"Do either of you ever check the group chat?" he sighs, somewhat frustrated. "The first person to lose has to get an ahegao face tattooed on their ass."
"Excuse me? What the hell is that?"
He rolls his eyes. "Ahegao? Pass your laptop."
You shove it over, praying Taehyung's opened an incognito tab. When he turns it in your direction, you blanch. It's a drawing of a girl, eyes rolled to the back of her head, mouth parted and suspicious globules of white streaks across her face. Of course, that's what they would settle on. You hate your friends.
There's a shiver settling down your spine, whether it's from the cold or your disdain, you're not sure. "God, you're all gross. I hope you lose first," you mutter, tapping the tab closed as fast as your fingers can.
Taehyung laughs at that, a fox grin settling on his lips. "You really think I'm going to lose first? We have a bet on that too. Everyone owes five bucks to the person who guesses correctly who's going to lose first among us."
You quirk an eyebrow, switching your laptop screen to the notes Chaeyong had sent you this morning as you feign interest. "Pray do tell. Who have you got your money on?
"Jeongguk, of course. You should know. He's your best friend after all." You pause at that, fingers still over your keyboard as his hypothesis sinks in. Jeongguk. He seems like he had a greater will than Taehyung, who'd fucked the majority of the campus at this point. You're sure he has some sort of disease harbouring in his nether bits. But maybe he had a point. Jeongguk had his moments when his hormones took over. Like the time you'd woken up in his bedroom during one of your sleepovers and he was runting his morning wood into your ass. The sleepovers had stopped after that, Jeongguk was too embarrassed to let you in his room for a night ever again. But he also has immense self-control and could hold himself back when he needed to. He was a great baseball captain for a reason. You knew him longer than the rest of your new-found university friend group and while he was stupid at times he didn't seem like the person to lack such willpower. You decide then that Taehyung is wrong.
You tap your fingers along your keyboard gingerly, still trying to come up with a response that sounds disinterested enough for Taehyung to take the hint and vanish. "Hmm," you settle on. "Maybe."
He doesn't move from the seat, stuck like his ass is glued there. You’re envious of Namjoon's plugged in earphones.
"But," he continues, oblivious to your lack of interest. "I have a proposition for you. To make sure I win, of course."
"What could you ever have to offer me?" you say, voice monotone and your gaze focused on your monitor even though the notes Eubin had sent you weren't making sense to your fried brain either. Taehyung was still not getting the hint despite you hurling it at his face.
"You could help me tempt Jeongguk. Like, tease him until his resolve breaks. You know how stubborn he is."
You look at him, face contorting in bewilderment. "You want me to do what?"
"As in, tempt him. Send him videos—not of yourself of course. Twitter porn works just as well. Bring up sexual topics, weaken his determination etcetera etcetera. Essentially help me win.”
"Why in the world would I do that?" Even though you liked Taehyung, your loyalty lies with Jeongguk. You'd known him since birth and you tolerated him a bit more than you did Taehyung.
"Wouldn't you like to see Jeongguk get an ahegao face tattooed on his ass?" The answer is no and Taehyung should know that. "Also, for the rest of the semester, all your food expenses are on me. And any other expenses you want to add.”
That's what piques your interest. You’re not on a meal plan anymore and cooking at home was starting to become a pain in the ass. You don’t have the time to study and feed yourself. You’re also adamantly refusing to adopt the horrific food habits Jeongguk has. It also wasn't foreign knowledge that Taehyung came from a wealthy background. He has a CEO position sitting pretty for him the moment he graduates. No wonder he university activities consist of alternating between sleep and copulation with a sprinkle of lectures if he was feeling up to it. It's by luck that he's naturally smart and charming enough to not be booted from all his classes because of his piss poor attendance.
"Are you offering to be my sugar daddy?” You splutter, baffled by his audacity.
Taehyung shrugs, casually twisting the gold ring hanging on his pinky. “If you want to put it like that, sure.”
The whole proposition makes your skin prickle, but, the offer sounds somewhat enticing considering the numbers currently reflecting in your account. Honestly, you wouldn't mind abusing Taehyung's wallet. But then you frown again, the image of Jeongguk's soft face flashing before your eyes. He's too nice of a person for you to set him up like that. You ignore the flush of heat on your skin at the thought of him, attributing it to the intense stare Taehyung is giving you as he awaits your response.
“Sorry,” you say, “But Jeongguk’s my ride or die. I couldn’t do that to him."
Taehyung nods slowly, like he knows something you haven’t told him. But he doesn't push it, something you’re grateful for. Finally, he rises from the seat, tailored black slacks wrapping around his long lean legs. "If you change your mind, just text me. November is a very long month, sweetheart."
"Don't bother. I'm not," you return, resolved boldened by his cockiness.
Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows, almost mockingly. The smile on his mouth makes your chest close up. "We'll see. I feel like the stars are in my favour, honestly."
Then he's gone, just as quickly as he appeared. He leaves with his head held high, the designer sneakers on his feet carrying him back into the vicious winds outside, utterly unaware of the wild storm he’d just created.
You make a promise to yourself to not give in to the lure of his credit card. It should be easy enough if you're being honest with yourself. There was nothing worth the cost of your friendship with Jeongguk. He would probably never speak to you if he found out you were the reason he had an ahegao face permanently etched into his butt.
But then everything goes to hell.
↯↯↯
mr struggle (09:34pm)
heyyy
i havent seen u in awhile
come to the convenience store with me
plz >_<
you (09:37pm)
yeah cause last time I saw you you made me hold your dick while you peed 😕
And yes hi Jeongguk, I'm doing good how are you?
Now? It’s really late
Do you want ramen?
mr struggle (09:39pm)
HEY! it was that or piss on your floor 🙄🙄
i thought we agreed not to talk about it?
or did u like holding my dick? 😏
yes i want ramen what is wrong with that =_=
i'm already outside so decide!!
you (09:40pm)
Please shut up
Wait my fridge is empty... How far are you?
mr struggle (09:41pm)
ohhhh so now u want to come 🤔
you (09:41pm)
Jeon, you literally asked me if I wanted to come 🙃
mr struggle (09:42pm)
like ten minutes relax damn
or just meet me at there?
you (09:42pm)
Fine
mr struggle (09:42pm)
:))
↯↯↯
The clock on your phone indicates that it's going to ten, an odd time to be stuffing a shopping basket with instant noodles from your local convenience store. But the fridge in your apartment was painfully empty, and Jeongguk had invited you to come along on his late-night shopping trip, a serendipitous moment of chance because you normally would have said no.
He comes around the corner just then, a packet of drinks in his hands and an abnormal amount of premade food in his own shopping basket. You spy something that resembles a beef and rice meal but the beef looks fairly radioactive. You 'd rather stick with the noodles you'd snatched up.
"You done?" he says, halting beside you. You’re about to reply but then Jeongguk sticks his head out, squinting at the array of noodle packets beside you. "Oh wow, I'm buying that for sure." Somehow he dumps the six-pack of Monster into the basket and snatches up the extra spicy noodles he's been eyeing at in one fluid moment.
"I feel sorry for your asshole," you comment, heading towards the cashier. "And yeah, I'm done. Let's go."
"Don't. I enjoy the burn." He's on your heels, dirty sneakers squeaking against the pristine tile floors. "Oh, can we eat here? I'm starving."
There's a loud noise emitting from your stomach that makes you nod your head in agreement, much to Jeongguk's own satisfaction. The cashier at the counter looks disinterested, barely looking up as she scans your items. She reads your total in a monotone voice but you don't question her behaviour, understanding how she might be exhausted from the late hour. But that immediately changes when you turn away, heading to the microwaves in the convenience store and Jeongguk saunters up to the counter. She doesn't look at him at first, but then she blinks deliberately, and her entire demeanour transforms.
"Hi! How can I help you?"
There's a perk in her tone that makes you bristle. You may look like a rat in a potato sack at the moment but you at least deserved the same treatment, don't you?
You glance at Jeongguk as he dumps his stuff before her. "Hey. Just these." He's completely oblivious to her ogling and something about that irks you. You moment to take a second to look at Jeongguk, properly examining his attire, searching for what she's smiling at so lovingly. He's in a pair of grey sweats that you know has a ketchup stain on it, a long black sweater that had some cheesy logo printed on the front and a claret beanie to push back the long hair he was refusing to cut. Did he look like an exhausted college student with five different essays due in the next twenty-four hours? Yes. But did he also look somewhat attractive? Also yes. You blame it on the easy smile gracing his rosy lips and the small dimples on his cheeks that appear when his teeth show. You're not really enjoying how this particular observation is making you feel.
She says his total with a sickeningly saccharine smile plastered on her face, her posture suddenly perfect so that her uniform strains over her chest. Jeongguk pays without looking at her, turning to puzzedly stare at your stationary figure instead. His obliviousness to her efforts makes some small part of you content. A part that you vehemently ignore.
"Are you not eating now?" He askes, eyes flickering to the array of microwaves lined neatly in the store. The sharp raised eyebrow makes him oddly hotter. The cashier must see it too because you watch with slight vexation as a blush creeps onto her skin, turning her cheeks rouge. There's no way Jeongguk is that attractive.
"Thought I'd wait for you," you reason. And then your stomach thunderously rumbles.
He cracks a smile at that, brown eyes glittering in the glow of the harsh fluorescent lights. The fluttering that erupts inside of you feels like betrayal. "Go ahead. You sound like you need to eat more than I do."
"Excuse me?" The cashier says. You despise the honey lilt in her voice. "Are you from SNU?" The look you both give her could cut through steel.
"Yes," Jeongguk says hesitantly, hands reaching out to grab the plastic bag containing his items.
"Oh!" She blinks her eyes, batting her long lashes like they're weapons. Her lean on the counter pushes her chest so far out you can't help but scoff. "I go there too! I'm surprised we haven't met!"
Some part of you is surprised too because Jeongguk, like Taehyung, has smashed a large majority of the school by now. Or so you thought.
He laughs, but it's clear to you he'd rather not be having this conversation. "Ah, yeah. But it's a big school, you know. Many students. Not enough chances to meet them all." You barely hide your snort at that. If Jeongguk was interested he would have made a move by now. But instead, he's staring at her like she’s a massive booger he'd picked from his nose. For a split second, you feel bad for her. But then she flings her glossy long hair over her shoulder and your pity evaporates.
"A shame really. But if you're free this weekend we can get a chance to know each other."
You immediately twist on your heel at that, clutching the handle of your plastic bag rather tight. "There's a Halloween party happening on Saturday! We can meet up there." You still have one ear in the conversation but the mention of the Halloween party doesn't alarm you. There were countless parties thrown on the weekend - this was college after all. The only time the campus went radio silent was during finals, so you’re not bothered. Until Jeongguk quietly asks her where and she says the address of Jimin's house.
Taehyung had texted you the change in date, and while you were pleased that Jimin had been kind enough to accommodate you, you suddenly wish he hadn’t.
You stay silent as you make your ramen. Jeongguk only picking up on your irritation when he slips beside you at the table you'd bagged outside, contemplatively sipping on his banana milk.
"What's up your ass?" He questions, flicking the empty spice packet for his noodles across the table. "And aren't you freezing? There are so many seats inside, dude."
"I wanted fresh air," You reply, voice stony. The truth is you can't stand being in the same vicinity as the cashier, whose name you now knew was Nayoung after she loudly exchanged Instagram contacts with him. You'd never reacted to a girl flirting with Jeongguk like this before—and there had been a lot. Maybe it was because she was really pretty and her self-assurance matched Jeongguk's. You hate to admit it but you could see them together. Jeongguk had gained a sense of charm suddenly in the last year of high school which had inflated his ego just before university. Which consequently led to his endless reservoir of confidence which drew everyone—and you mean everyone to him. He'd taken it into his stride easily, like he was never that awkward pimple-faced adolescent boy who you once caught humping his teddy bear. The memory itself makes the corners of your lips curl up, and Jeongguk visibly relaxes at the ease spreading across your face. You hadn't noticed how tense he was.
"What's on your mind?" He pokes again, sticking his chopsticks into the blood-red broth in his cup. You can smell the pepper from here and it makes your nose tickle. You sneeze without thinking, having the courtesy to turn around at least. When you look back, nose covered with the cuff of the sweater you may have stolen from Jeongguk's closet, you're shocked to find him smiling at you. It's oddly sheepish, like he's restraining himself from letting the feeling lurking in his heart out on his face. He snaps out of it the moment he notices your staring, shifting to stuff his face with the noodles he's purchased. Your eyes flicker to the way his ears are tinged red, mind attributing it to the cold.
"Nothing. Actually—no—I'm going to drop out. This engineering thing is fisting me in the ass," you whine, hands clasping around your own noodle cup. It's pleasantly warm, the hearty beef broth wafting through the air comforting. "How can you even stomach that? It's just noodles covered in spice."
He slurps it up loudly in response, speckles of red broth hitting the sides of his face. A second later he has his mouth wide opening, huffing fast. You watch his suffering with a smile on your face, only passing the banana milk over when his face turns blotchy red.
"Fuck!" He gulps the drink down in his own sitting, the outline of his Adam's apple working hard. "God, my tongue is numb." But that doesn't stop him from going back in for more. "And what the hell are you talking about?" He adds on, mouth full of noodles. You're chewing on your own, the warmth travelling down your chest and sitting heavy in your stomach. "You're so smart! Just fist the engineering program back and graduate on top."
You roll your eyes at him, a warmth that's not from your ramen swathing your heart. "Please, you know I only have two functioning brain cells and I'm guessing my way through this."
He shakes his head, the oversized silver earrings on his ears swinging with the motion. "No. Taehyung has two functioning brain cells. Maybe even one. And he comes to class to sleep. That's the bottom rig—you're at least ten rigs above him."
There's a soft laugh floating from your lips before you can clamp it back and Jeongguk smiles at the sound of it, a gentle curve of his lips that brings the dips back in his cheeks.
"Well, you're not wrong." But your mind is doing a dangerous thing at the mention of Taehyung. There's the ghost of what happened at the library drifting before your eyes and the comfort you were feeling spoils quickly. "The cashier is cute," you comment instead. Jeongguk pauses at the new topic, honey eyes wide.
"Yeah... She is." He says it slowly, as if he knows he's treading on thin ice and he's afraid it'll shatter underneath him.
You hum, stabbing your chopsticks a little too hard at the plastic bottom of your noodle cup. "Too bad you can't do anything with her."
"What do you mean?"
"No Nut November? Don't you guys have a bet going on?" You say, staring at Jeongguk. He's folding into himself, gaze on the cashier instead of you. It leaves your heart feeling like it's been scrubbed raw.
"Uh—yeah, how did you know about that?" He rubs at the nape of his neck, the cuff of his oversized sweatshirt folded around his hand like a makeshift paw.
"I'm in the group chat," you steadily reply.
"Oh yeah. You're never active on it though."
"But I still read the messages," you say. Which is a lie. There are over a hundred notifications from that group chat on your phone. You could only stomach the flirtatious texts between Taehyung and Jimin so many times. "Are you not participating?"
"Of course I am," he bristles. "Taehyung wouldn't shut up until I agreed."
"Okay so, you can't do anything with Nayoung," you may have spat out her name, "Tomorrow night. You know you'll lose first."
He perks up at that, slamming his chopsticks on the plastic table. "Who says Taehyung and Jimin haven't already lost."
"They haven't," you calmly reply, twisting your chopsticks around.
"How do you know?" His tone is accusatory. It makes your hackles rise.
"I just know they haven't. They're pretty sure that you'll lose first," you say it nonchalantly, but there's an immediate effect on Jeongguk. One you don't really expect.
"This is Taehyung we're talking about," he grumbles, eyes narrowed. "He slept with his finance professor! I highly believe I'll last a little longer than him. As for Jimin," he tacks on, "He's got more self-control. Namjoon doesn't jerk off, he just powers down at night to recharge. If there's anyone I can last longer than, it's definitely Mister Kim Taehyung." There's a resolve in his voice that makes you want to challenge him.
"You'll lose tomorrow. Nayoung looks like she's planning the perfect costume to win you over." You gesture to where she’s stationed, her gaze coincidentally focused on the bright screen of her phone. "Halloween is scheming time for girls, you know."
"I know," he whines. "But I think I have better control over my dick than Taehyung."
"You used to hump Snuggles," you retort.
He groans loudly, ripping the beanie off his head. His long russet hair comes cascading down, curling around his head loosely. It perfectly frames his features, long enough to settle just above his eyes but not long enough for a substantial man-bun. It looks good on him regardless, making him even more attractive if you're being honest. Your fingertips burn with a longing to tuck the curls away from his pretty face.
"You swore," he says, voice low. "That you would never mention that. And I was like fourteen! I was curious!"
"Your curiosity cost Snuggles his nose."
Jeongguk had accidentally popped off the little black plastic nose one day. You'll always state it was because of his masturbation habits.
"You could have used your pillow," you reason, an eyebrow quirked.
"And give myself more acne? No thank you," he snaps back. "Anyway, I'm not going to lose because of Nayoung. Stop that idea in your head. It's nothing but a fantasy."
But then his phone pings and you read the notification before Jeongguk can snatch the device off the table. You see her name blare across the screen and the tendrils in your heart violently twist together.
He picks it up, flustered, before quickly opening the text. While his fingers are busy typing a response, you turn your head slowly, gaze landing on her through the window. There's a smug look on her face and she's twirling one long strand in her hair. There's a conflict waging between your head and your heart, one you've faced before but something about this is different.
When you glance back at Jeongguk, the smile on his lips is small and soft. It makes the knot in your heart ache, rib cage squeezed tight. Taehyung’s voice starts ringing in your head immediately. His proposition suddenly looks more appealing than it initially did. But you also feel stupid, sinking further into your chair as you watch him type away at his phone. There’s no reason for you to feel this way, none at all. You not going to give in.
(At least not yet).
↯↯↯
mr struggle (05:24pm)
helloooooo
are you free? have you eaten?
gonna assume maybe and probably no
i’m on campus rn come eat with me pig head
you (05:27pm)
In a few? I’m with Namjoon and I need to finish some stuff
mr struggle (05:28pm)
okai! q(≧▽≦q)
tell me when u get here
i’m at the dining hall!
we can eat here or go out
you (05:32pm)
We can decide when I get there!
It's easy to bid Namjoon goodbye. You're both done for the night, exhausted from the long hours you'd spent glued at your respective desks, tired eyes intently reading the piles of text you both needed to review. It's nice to finally leave the silence of the library and be greeted by the low hum of the afternoon wind blowing over the entire campus. There's the rustle of trees matching the beat of your steps as you saunter towards the dining hall. It's a decently far walk, enough to give you time to ruminate over the problems plaguing your thoughts. There's the issue of your upcoming finals sitting heavy on your head, a brutal reminder of the things you need to review if you want to make it through this semester alive. But there's also a new thought, lurking in the back of your mind like a viper biding her time to strike. It slithers there, at the edge of your subconscious as you desperately attempt to ignore it and the implications of it. You're too afraid to acknowledge its presence but as your feet thud down along the stairs leading to the dining hall, the thought rears its ugly head and strikes you right in the heart when your eyes falter on their huddled figures.
Jeongguk's head is tilted downwards, brown curls tumbling into his face. He looks pretty in the gentle glow of the lights outside the dining hall, but his attention is not on your stagnant figure. Instead, his honey eyes are focused on the person leaning into him. You know who it is, despite only seeing her once before. There's the tell-tale perfectly straight long chestnut hair falling down her poised back. There's one hand twirling a lone strand around her finger, a graceful playfulness that you’ve never possessed fueling the dainty movement. Although you can’t see it, you know it’s there, that delicate petal pink smile that paints features elegantly. It's hard to forget what Nayoung looks like, not when she's been on the back burner of your mind for the past few hours. Her face is burned into your memory.
You can't read his gaze but there's that familiar crinkle around his bright eyes and a soft smile on his lips that makes your heart thud dangerously inside your chest. This emotion you're feeling is odd. Not because it’s new—it feels like it's always been there actually, residing quietly in your heart. For some reason it's loud now, roaring in your blood with a determination to be heard. Instead, you blink it into submission, eyes dry from staring for so long. Rather than walking up to them, like you know you should, you spin around on your heels, grateful Jeongguk hasn’t seen you yet because he’s too busy murmuring something into Nayoung’s ear.
You pathetically flee, hoping he's still too entrapped by her smile to glance up. Your feet move fast, thudding hard against the bricked ground at the same tempo as your beating heart. There's a strange heat building in your face, one that makes your head spin every time you close your eyes. A part of you knows you're being irrational. It's undeniable really, who runs away from meeting their best-friend just because you saw them with a girl? It doesn't make any sense, you're acting like you're in high school all over again. But you can’t bear to walk towards them when your heart is almost breaking out of your chest.
They look nice together. Perfectly curled into each other as the breeze wraps around them. You could see the brightness in Jeongguk's eyes bright as he looked into hers even with the distance. It felt like you were intruding, just from looking at them. It’s an emotion that’s familiar, but you’d been able to brush it off in the past. Why you’re failing to do it with Nayoung baffles you. She’s not even officially dating him (yet) and you already feel discarded. At the edge of his life as you greedily peer at something you have no right to look at. It leaves you tore and hollow, ripped bare like the branches battered by the wind above your head. The only thing you can do is walk onwards, stomach sinking to the earth when your phone vibrates in your pocket.
It’s dug out reluctantly, but you don’t have the heart to ignore it when you know exactly who the messages are from even with the aching pang that resounds through your chest when you read the texts.
mr struggle (05:41pm)
hello? ＞﹏＜
where are u?
Your fingers hang suspended over the keyboard, trapped in trepidation.
mr struggle (05:41pm)
it's cold!! my buttcheeks are freezing!! hurry up!!
You pause, your brain still trying to weigh the options you have. It would be easy to just walk back to them and greet Nayoung like a normal person, not a college student who's behaving like they are in high school. But there's also an apprehension freezing your limbs, the image of them together still making your stomach feel funny. You decide then, quickly, when the wind picks up, a brutal breeze hitting you hard, that you can't do this. Not now. Not when there's a similar gale wreaking havoc inside of you.
you (05:44pm)
Hey
Sorry can I rain check?
Joon and I decided to stay longer
mr struggle (05:44pm)
Okay.
Do you want me to bring you anything?
you (05:45pm)
No
I’m okay
mr struggle (05:46pm)
Okay.
You sure?
you (05:54pm)
Yeah I’m sure :)
You don't wait for him to respond, tucking your phone right back into your pocket and snuggling your neck further into the collar of your jacket. You move quickly against the wind. You’re still somewhat embarrassed, the rashness of your decision making you cringe. But you also can't imagine forcing yourself between them. Why would he want you around when Nayoung was there? That's the thought that keeps your feet moving forward, steps loud against the ground.
Maybe the stars are in Taehyung’s favour afterall.
↯↯↯
you (07:43pm)
Hey
I was thinking
I’lll do it
male villanelle (07:55pm)
???
you (07:56pm)
The bet? Between the two of us? The thing about JK?
