#! words

[lovesick-fox]

It’s okay. Losing people doesn’t mean it’s over. You’re a whole person, with or without them. You can’t replace people because each person is unique but that doesn’t mean you’ll never be understood again. Build a community, you deserve a whole support system.

[lovesick-fox]

QUEER POLYAMOROUS LOVEBUG WITH A HEART OF GOLD AND A HEAD OF WILD VULPES SINGING AND HOPING

[defiantcharmsarchive]

Lily was getting that mad, crazy look in her eye that she sometimes got when children were involved in things.

 astudyinholmes

[defiantcharmsarchive]

things you know about your best friend

he thinks you are special             ( it's something you never forget )

    he isn't being selfless when he gives you his sweets;            he simply doesn't like sweets

     speaking of magic makes him light up in a way nothing          else ever does        (   but sometimes you think you  see                                                flashes of it when he looks at you    )

     his darkness is not so unique                           it mirrors your own hidden darkness

       all he wants is knowledge and power.                 (     those things don't know good and evil,                                    you told yourself                           )

 he was almost your first kiss when you turned sixteen, because it            seemed only right that your first was him. but you        don't because it might scare him away, and instead you        just smile at him and tell him  ' forever '

forever is short and when it's over you spend three months       promising yourself to erase him completely from your life   before you realize that it isn't possible and isn't even what you   want to do

one day you realize that you could kill each other and          never even know it; you wonder how many times        that moment had already come and gone without          your knowing                                   you thank a god you've almost stopped believing in                                              that you never know the answer

things your best friend doesn't know about you

 that you love him so much, you feared you would        let the darkness eat you body and soul just to      stay by him.                            it's why you had to leave

       for slytherrus

[defiantcharmsarchive]

♗♔♕ AND THESE.

♗  :  Your muse falling asleep with their head in my muse’s lap. ♔ :   Finding your muse wearing their clothes♕:    Holding hands

        It was almost painful, the familiarity. Only this time they had to duck down the back alley way that took them to Spinner’s End; her parent’s house, well, it wasn’t her parent’s house anymore. Petunia had sold it to a new family a short while after the funeral, using her portion to help fund their bigger, prettier house closer to Vernon’s job, and sending Lily her portion in a briskly written check.             ( she’d tried not to cry over it, the coldness she’d felt in that check. in the end she couldn’t be too angry at Petty, for it had served to do something she would have hated even more. it had landed lily curled nest to Severus, crying into his shoulder, and that had been the start of this … something )        Spinner’s End never changed; in the dim murkiness of the rain, it was almost as if they were ten again, scampering to his house on one of the very rare occasions when he’d let her inside. There’s a sense of the forbidden that still hangs from the eves as she tumbles through the door after Severus, as if the ghosts of it inhabitants were still there, judging and severe. As she straightens, laughing while pushing her hair out of her out of her face, Lily could see that he was uncomfortable with her being here still. It was in his scowl, the hunch of his shoulders, the way he wasn’t looking at her as he muttered something about getting dry clothing and making tea.         Fighting back the need to frown, she stepped forward, offering to make the tea while he found some dry things to change into. Her hand brushed against his, slight enough to be an accident, yet clearly not, her way of reminding him that she was here with him and she wasn’t going to let him shut her out because he was anxious, but that she understood that he was anxious and she understood. As quick as her touch had come, it was gone again, going with her as she sailed into the kitchen to wring her hair out over the sink before searching for the kettle. It was only after he’d pointed her in the right direction and then disappeared, the stairs creaking under his weight, that Lily let out the breath she’d been hold, let go of the worried thoughts of what further steps she’d have to take to keep them from losing all ground.         The kettle was starting to sing when he came back in clean, dry clothes, his hair only a little damp still. Reaching the stove before her, he nudged her out of the way and muttered that he’d laid out some things for her in the downstairs bathroom, if she wanted to change into something dry.                      he made a point to say they were fresh out of the laundry, as if that mattered to her. It mattered more that he remember how much she hated using drying charms. They left a crinkling feeling which she could never get comfortable with and didn’t go away for at least a couple washes. Or so she always said. It was probably, quantifiably ridiculous, but he still listened.          There was nothing forced about the smile she gave him as she murmured her thanks, brushing her hand against his once more as she passed, that smile growing as she felt his fingers twitch back against her, and the tiniest bit of tension eased away.          To be honest, she had expected something more…green to be sitting on edge of the sink for her to chance into. A slight, defensive jab at her house alliances, getting her into Slytherin colors. Perhaps he was handling it better than she’d thought he would, her being here, because there wasn’t any green waiting for her. There was a soft grey button up with long sleeves she had to roll up in order to be able to use her hands, and a pair of slightly darker grey pants, well-worn enough to be soft. She pulled the dress over her head and hung it up to dry before shimmying out of her knickers to wring them out before pulling them back on. Only then did she slip into the thing Severus had picked out for her.           He was hunched over the kitchen table when she came back out, scowling at the wood under his fingers. It was only when she cleared her throat that he seemed to realize, starting a bit before the scowl deepened. The tension started to seep back in as he said something about hoping the clothes were okay, but Lily cut it and him off by laying one of her hands over his.            “ Thank you, ” she whispered, an encouraging smile growing as his shoulders eased down. Feeling a bit bold, she curled their fingers together, tugging him up as she grabbed her mug of tea and walked to the living room, leaving him only the choice to follow or get dragged along.             (  it was the best way to get him to do anything, really, but required as much softness as it did firmness. this was a tactic to be used sparingly, when he’s already peeking out of his shell, vulnerable enough to go along with it, but not so raw that he takes it as an attack.  )          She sets her cup down on the coffee table as she passes, not letting go of his hand as she peruses his bookshelf, carefully pulling out a volume to read. He’s still stunned enough to let her push him to sit on the couch and arrange him with a pillow in his lay for her to lay her head on as she spreads out next to him. Lily presses the book into his hands, realizing a moment later that he would need both to hold and turn the pages, and she almost reconsiders; but then she tugs his arm to drape over her shoulder as she relaxes into the pillow, settling. She gives him a moment, and then twists slightly to give him a look, and one firm direction.                     Read to me.          Perhaps it’s childish, and she’s ready to pester him into it, the words jumping to her lips as his twist in a frown. Then they press even tighter together before his attention turns to the book, barely moving his arm from her shoulders as he cracks it open and begins to read.           Later she’ll wonder, tipped off by the touch of hoarseness when he spoke, how long he’d continued to read aloud after she’d fallen asleep curled against him like that, warm and comfortable and soothed by the cadence of his voice. Yet as she is lulled into those first waves of a dreamless sleep, all she could think was how easily she could grow used to this.

[defiantcharmsarchive]

♧ or ♡ or both i couldn't pick.

♡ :    Accidentally falling asleep together♧ :  Your muse playing with their hair

          They’d been at the park when it had started to rain                            cold, hard, pouring down relentlessly. They’d hidden under the slide for a couple minutes, but when it showed that it wasn’t going to let up, Lily had suggested they made a run for it. His house was closer, technically, if they took the short way back to Spinners End, but she didn’t suggest it, just tugs him by the sleeve before she ducks out from under the cover of the slide, laughing as she uselessly threw her hands up against the rain. He’d followed, just like she’d known he would       ( didn’t he always? )           They were both drenched by the time they got to her house. Her call out to her family had gotten no answer; they were all out. That didn’t bother her. She just shooed him into the living room while she ran to the linen closet, dragging out a couple towels for each of them. He was standing awkwardly when she got back, making her laugh as she lead him to the stone heart in front of the fireplace; there was fire in the grate, and she turned to find the matches, only to turn back to see a fire already crackling, with the telltale smirk on his lips. It had made her laugh again.       ( No one ever believed her when she told them how much he made her laugh. )           She’d thrown one towel around his shoulders and pushed another into his hands before turning to dry herself off, wringing out her dress with one towel before turning her attention to her hair with the other. When she emerged out from underneath the towel, he was still looking a little dazed and lost. Draping her wet towels over the fire grate, she unfolded the one in his hands and briskly started to dry his hair for him. She ignored the stiffness and the muffled protests from under the towel, and outright giggled when she pulled the towel away to reveal a glowering Severus. He was agitated, and it showed when he we snarkily pointed out that they could have used drying charms. His smirk had only grown when she countered with the fact that they weren’t supposed to be using magic over the summer. Lily had only mirrored it back at him while she pushed back the hair that had flopped into his face; even though she’d been as careful and conscious as always, barely touching him, he stiffened.          So she’d pushed past the moment quickly, positioning him in front of the fire better so he’d dry while she disappeared into the kitchen. When she’d returned, the towels, and his clothing, was suspiciously dry, but she just shook her head and handed him his cup of tea. Unfolding the blanket thrown over the back of the sofa, she pulled him down onto it, sitting at the opposite end of the couch, the blanket still covering both of their legs as they curled up and picked up their conversation  about the book they were sharing as if nothing else had happened between the playground and now. It was warm, and the unease from earlier melted away. They stayed there for hours, not needing anything else.          Thank goodness that Fiona was the one who came home first. Jonathan or Petunia might have freaked out to find them asleep together on the couch, even if the blanket was now only tucked around Lily, with plenty of space between the two of them. Fiona only smiled, though, and pulled out another blanket to drape over Snape, picking up the two now cold cups of tea and making adjustments in her head to add another place for dinner.