#!lucifer

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[journey-to-the-attic]

I just read the ido future post, does this mean Ik can do the "there are many benefits to being a marine biologist" meme irl now?

she might not entirely be a specialised marine biologist but yes i believe in her, she's qualified

lucifer: ik don't you dare

ik, one foot hovering above the edge of the pier: there are many benefits to being a marine biologist

lucifer: i said DON'T YOU DARE

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How did the characters feel about carrying newborn baby IK? Especially Lucifer.

it's overwhelmed tears all the way down (half joking)

i think you've got one camp of characters who are so so excited (diavolo, mammon, asmo, belphie but he won't admit it, solomon), another of characters who are so so scared (levi, raphael, thirteen, satan), and then another of characters who are at peace and have possibly achieved nirvana (beel, barbatos, simeon, mephistopheles). and then there is lucifer, who is having some kind of transcendental dad experience that changes him irreversibly

some highlights

belphie pretends that it's no big deal but is there in 0.1 seconds when asked to hold her, and refuses to pass her to anyone else for at least an hour

thirteen basically turns to stone when she is given the baby and only loosens up after about five tries, but after that she's lugging her around like a careless father

as soon as they give her to barbatos everyone gets hit by this distinct feeling that they're never getting her back. barbatos smiles threateningly at anyone who looks like they want to swap with him and at this point will only give in to lucifer or zhao

solomon has the biggest grin on his face the entire time and is also number one peekaboo player

levi also tears up as soon she cries and has had to be sent to his room to calm down on one occasion

lucifer always goes quiet in a way that's a little terrifying (this kind of serenity on him is usually only a front for extreme anger) but the look on his face is kind of beautiful. he's practically glowing

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I know we all hate talking about IK aging for lifespan angst reasons, but I can't stop thinking about how cute it'd be with the brothers taking care of her as a little old lady. Just endless "You're still a baby TO ME." and "What are you talking about, you look fresh as a daisy!" and "Wait hold on let me carry that for you" and "I'm still holding your hand because you're a BABY, not because you're too old to cross the street on your own"

I feel like she'd just be such a cool old lady in general. Cool cane. Cool glasses. Terrifyingly mobile for an elderly person. (Solomon may have helped with her vitality, just a little.) She's lived long enough and seen enough to give no fucks. She will climb fences to avoid law enforcement. She's that lovely old neighbour you love who gives you apples from her garden and also has the most insane life stories you've ever heard, and who could probably help you cover up a murder easily.

ohhhh you're right that i hate thinking about her aging but your vision is also so good i love it

asmo insists on styling her so she always "has that shit on", as the kids say. i think at this point, the demons are able to come and go more freely to the human world so the brothers are nearly constantly up there these days, so in general they're just always around to keep her company. these days the 'ik is the eldest' joke kind of just becomes their new default because everyone just listens to her without question

ik would 100% also take advantage of being old to just be annoying because she thinks it's funny. like putting her hand to her ear and shouting "WHAT? CAN YOU REPEAT YOURSELF?" even though she can hear perfectly fine. or squinting really hard and acting like she can't POSSIBLY read something even though she totally can

(although one thing she won't do is joke about having heart attack, because the first time she did it everyone was genuinely distraught for like a full week afterwards)

ouhhhh but also.. people go from assuming that the demons are ik's brothers/cousins/uncles to assuming that they're, like, her kids/grandkids. someone expresses this assumption out loud to them for the first time, and it trips them all up because they genuinely still just see their kid when they look at her

in the moment it doesn't register but it does begin to hit harder day by day. then there's ik who starts constantly saying things like "well, i'm not getting any younger" or "i want you to have this when i'm gone" - just trying to get them used to idea, hoping it'll make it a little bit easier

lucifer is not well. how is it that his daughter is old and grey and he's still only barely gotten a few new wrinkles. what if he walked into the dark sea right now.

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Baby IK

(news anchor voice) this afternoon in the house of lamentation lucifer experienced a category 6 dad event and has been sitting in the library in shock ever since. he has been treated with several cups of hot tea and a glass of demonus but has thus far been unresponsive. updates to come

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How exactly do you think the family would handle Lucifer's whole arranged marriage in his IDO route? I can't lie, I feel like a lot of them would find it incredibly funny at first.

Do you think Lucifer would try to get out of it by asking the prospective family "Well, are you prepared to add a human to your family tree? Because if you make me do this my daughter is 100% coming with me."

i feel like everyone just assumes it's a prank in the beginning. satan is going through the mail while the others play uno around the dining table, he picks out a letter with a very fancy seal, opens it, then snorts and announces "apparently lucifer's getting married" and everyone just kind of laughs it off and goes back to the game

then lucifer walks in, levi says something like "lmao here comes the groom-to-be" only for all the colour to drain from lucifer's face. and then everyone finally has the "oh shit. for real?" response and starts panicking

i feel like realistically, lucifer's immediate response would be to get really mad. this is mr pride here, he would not tolerate being manipulated like this and i feel like he'd publicly expose the noble family for corruption and coercion immediately (probably with some help from the newspaper club as well) - but for the sake of plot let's say things do happen as they did in IDO: he refuses at first, then receives a threat that essentially ties his hands, so he accepts for what he thinks is the greater good...

...but he is going to be SO annoying about it. you know that story about robert pattinson going to dinner with a stalker fan and boring her so much that she left him alone? that's lucifer. he is actively trying to be the most irritating, pretentious version of himself possible in hopes that he'll put off his arranged fiance enough for them to call off the engagement. and it works

(i do also like the idea of him threatening to add ik to this noble family that most likely looks down on humans, but i also think he'd probably want to refrain from bringing her into it as much as possible, for fear of how far the noble family would go to get what they want. of course, they should know that going after ik is a 100% foolproof way to get themselves eradicated, but on the off chance they're desperate and/or enough to try anything...)

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i really like the idea of ddvd lucifer being the one who keeps buying those novelty clothes/accessories for little ones, like animal onesies and hats with bunny ears. he comes home with a tiny wolf hoodie and the others are like "you bought one of those LAST week" but lucifer informs them that, actually, that was a coyote, so this is completely different. and marches off