I got tagged by @glorious-spoon. From the respire sequel:
"You must be happy."
He didn't mean to say it; the words slipped out of his mouth without permission. He wondered how he sounded. Bitter, probably. Tired.
He could hear Lan Wangji shift on the bed behind him. "I am," he said, steady and even, and there it was-- that same lightness in his voice that Jiang Cheng had seen before and hadn't recognized. A relief; a joy. "Are you?"
The question stunned Jiang Cheng. He felt tears spring to his eyes, even as anger clawed at his throat. Wei Wuxian was alive again. Wei Wuxian was alive again, when A-Jie was not, when his parents were not, when Jin Ling was not. Wei Wuxian was alive again.
Jiang Cheng had lost so very many things over the years. He'd almost never gotten anything back.
"I don't know," he said, and it was a strangled gasp. "I don't know." Hot tears streaked down his cheeks, sudden and unexpected. His throat burned. He curled in on himself, knees to his chest, palms pressed against his eyes. "I don't know."
Hey. Hey look who is coming back with fic! Dunno if it's a change of headspace or the fact that September 13th was on a friday, but I come bearing gifts in the form of angst (with a happy ending). For those of you waiting for an update on The End is Only the Beginning — I'm happy to say there's a good 5k of angst and arguments and smut coming to an AO3 near you.
But first. Angst. (And it's all the more heartbreaking if you listen to the song whilst you read)
TITLE: Wake Me Up When September Ends
PAIRING: Trent Crimm/Ted Lasso
RATING: teen
SUMMARY:
Friday, September 13th.
Trent doesn't know the day holds so much meaning for Ted — and it takes a Green Day song on repeat for them to finally talk about it.
EXCERPT:
Odd, Ted isn’t on the pitch.
Strange. He should be there.
The two men left their flat together (as usual), grabbed a coffee and a tea, respectively including one muttered comment about pigeon sweat in a paper cup, from Mooca (like always) and walked into Nelson Road together (just like every other morning). If anything was out of the ordinary that morning it was Ted making an offhand remark about Friday the 13th being the perfect day for a horror marathon. (Since when did Ted like horror, their usual film marathons that got ignored a third of the way into the first movie in favour of a makeout session with wandering hands were usually rom-coms.) After a non-committal hum from Trent, the blip on the proverbial radar went away as they resumed their morning routine — dodging Colin's abominable driving skills and ending with a parting kiss as Ted headed up for biscuits with the boss and Trent padded towards his office where, again, he’d try to bar Ernie from the press room.
Six months of trying (and failing) but damn it — one day he’ll be successful and god if he can’t wait to rip up the man’s press credentials right in front of his weasel-like face and enjoy watching him be escorted from the premises.
falling in front of seungmin drabble, first he laughs until he realizes ur actually hurt
not proof read soz ;_; hope u like!! sorry it took so long.
you had always been clumsy on your feet. not one day went by where you didn't hit your leg on a table or hit your head on the cupboard doors.
seungmin would always laugh, pressing a kiss on the sore spot or threatening the object that hurt you with his fists. he was sitting next to scrolling on his phone, looking up on the tv every minute or so.
the microwave beeps, sound ringing in your ears. object permanence had never been your strong suit, much to seungmins amuse. you raise yourself from the couch to grab the soup from the microwave, carelessly you had left the door open. as always. you place your soup on the bench, whipping back around to close the door.
thud, the dense sound of the door smacking you in the corner of the eye echoes. you fall to the ground, your butt smacking the floor.
"ow!" you yell, hand quickly rubbing the sore spot. you feel tears well in your eyes.
seungmin cackles in the background, laughing at the display of your clumsiness once again.
"seungmin!" you cry wriggling your body, the pain stings, thumping through your head. but he continues to laugh, almost choking on his own spit, legs flailing in the air.
it's not until he sees the tears in your eyes, one of your hands covering the offending hurt.
it takes him a second before he jumps to his feet, bending down and grabbing you by the sides of your arms. "lemme see."
you slowly take your hand from your eye, seungmin inspecting the area.
"oh my god..."
you let out a cry, fearful tone in your voice. "is it bad?"
"it's... bad, real bad."
you whine, stomping your feet. "is it really?"
he smiles, gently kissing blotchy area of your temple. "no i'm just playing, you gotta be more careful."
"i know." you sulk, face planting into your boyfriends chest.
context: seungmin x afab!reader (will make it amab/gn on request!)
genre: romance, some smut, humour
warnings: heavy mentions of periods, period sex(?), fingering, cussing, mostly proofread
word count: 1.8k
-- part 1 -- part 3
a/n: this is a part 2 to the fic i originally posted, but i'm working on part 3 now! just a lil humour teaser with some nasty smut... not writing this for my own satisfaction nuh uh. i tagged some of yall who wanted a part two/mentioned it. hope that's okay!!
tags: @binnies-minsung-fanclub, @daceydeath, @krishastumblernow, @daddyjoonchuaua, @blankdyean
╌╌╌╌ “so, that happened.”
here you are, just sitting seungmin's car.
just sitting, awkwardly listening to the sound of the car turning off, not wanting to make a sound. no music, nothing.
neither of you dare to look at each other. you immediately feel exposed, remembering your bra flung over the back seat, probably lost in the rubbish pile in the boot he always forgets to throw out.
"so, that happened."
seungmin swallows, eyes wide, "yeah."
it was a mess, a horrible train wreck of a mess of sex. it was awkward the moment you got too heated, everything seeming to be against you.
you're not sure when you realised, it could have been when you felt his long fingers dancing along the plush flesh of your hips or when he was telling you he was going to fuck you until you cried in a gentle but commanding tone, that you realised the front window had been left open. a pool of water soaking into the seat the more heated you got. rain still pouring down, heavy as ever.
"oh shit!" you exclaimed noticing, sitting upright, still straddling seungmin.
"fuck!" his hands had left your hips, pushing you back making you bang the back of your head against the door frame.
"ow." you had groaned, rubbing the back of your head.
seungmin did his best to clean it up, using one of his old jumpers to soak up the excess water while frantically rolling the window up. it was an old car, so no electric windows here.
"you didn't have to push me so hard."
seungmin came back to the you, placing himself slowly back between your legs almost automatically like you had been doing it for years. you admire his slim frame, blotches of red dancing along his taught skin, collarbones red and covered in hickies.
he looks down, as if noticing your stare on his naked body, "sorry, i panicked."
a pause of silence hits the air, neither of you know how to continue.
you bite the bullet, "do you still want to-?"
seungmin nods, almost giddy when he speaks, "yes, fuck, yes."
within seconds he's back on you, open mouthed kisses littering along your whole body. you feel like you're floating, your mind going white, feeling pressure build in your chest, moans slipping out every time he bites down ever so gently on one of your nipples, red and swollen.
"you sound cute when you whine," he chuckles, kissing the flesh of your chest once more. he looks up at you, his tongue running up the centre of your chest, not breaking eye contact for a second. "i didn't expect you to sound like that."
you feel your whole body go red, your hands coming to your mouth to hide any indication the effect he has on you. "stop..."
but you liked it, like it how he teased you because it was what you two were, sugar and spice, give and take, remember?
he presses a gentle kiss to the back of your hand that was covering your mouth, puppy eyes looking up at you. "can i?"
"huh?" you say in a daze, hands lowering themselves to hold the side of seungmins cheeks. he looks so beautiful like this, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead and messy, lips parted and light pink with over use. you never imagined you'd see him like this. not after seven years, it feels too surreal and oddly vulnerable.
there was a few times seungmin had caught you off guard over the years. you remember back to the night when he broke it off with his ex, your hips nestled in his crotch, cold air hitting the tip of your nose as you melded into your best friend. thinking nothing of it at the time, you faintly remember his arms linking around your belly, kneading the soft supple flesh. you had cuddled before, hundreds of times, always ending up sprawled on his bed one night a week at the least.
generally seungmin was a still quiet sleeper, almost dracula like in his coffin style slumber. but you being you, your legs would be sprawled across him, mouth open and on your tummy. leg's wrapped over his own. he didn't mind though, he always like the touch and admired how you looked absolutely horrible when you woke up, he loved it. he always did.
but that time was different, the way his hands travelled up and down your body sleepily, gently nuzzling his chin into the back of your neck. telling you you're all he needed, and that with you there everything felt like it was going to be okay.
it takes you a second to snap back to the present, finally realising where he's going with this. oh, oh.
you feel his fingers gently tugging at the sides of your underwear, asking permission to explore.
seungmin looks so desperate, bottom lip between his teeth.
you just nod at him, pulling him in for another kiss. the kiss is softer this time. his mouth is hanging open against yours, lips barely touching, his fingers pushing their way beneath the side seam of your panties. you feel your legs raised around his sides, a mind of their own. you want more, you needed more. his body pushes your hips further open, repositioning himself for a better angle.
"fuck, so wet for me." he grins in satisfaction, lips tracing their way back to your jaw, leaving wet trails behind.
a jolt of pleasure snaps in your lower belly, one of his fingers barely deep in you yet. "seu-ng-" you struggle to get out his name, a high moan hitting the walls of the car.
"finish it," he commands, already slipping two fingers into your cunt easily, admiring the way your face contorts with every motion of his fingers, your legs tightening around his body.
"seun-ng-hng-min." you struggle between his thrusts, trying to get any resemblance of sense to leave your throat.
you feel empty as he suddenly removes his fingers, whining at the loss.
"suck." he says, placing two of his wet fingers in front of your lips.
ready to oblige, you look down at his fingers, stained red and glistening.
"oh."
"oh."
"shit."
"fuck."
-
you bite a the side of your cheek, hands fiddling with the keys to your house. "so, you looking forward to going away this weekend?"
"yeah," seungmin clears his throat. "changbin said he'd drive us."
"cool, yeah, cool."
"yeah."
shit. it was your friends weekend 'birthday bonanza' (as he coined it), he did this ever year on his birthday. the older you all got you always made sure to do this. tradition five years still going strong.
said friend had planned a whole get away to his family's holiday house in the hills. and as always you shared room with seungmin, which was never an issue. until your period blood had stained his fingers the first time seungmin was finger fucking you.
it's not like he was a stranger to it, or your period. the amount of times he had been at your house, mcdonalds burger in hand while he massaged your lower back with the other. he had even helped you get out a diva cup at one point, besties and all that.
but that was then, this is now.
"well, i have extra shifts this week so i'll be busy, since i took the weekend off, hospo things"
seungmin nods, lips curling to the side.
again, silence.
he turns his attention to you, face confused and hands flailing in front of him, he always stimmed in moments like this. "so like, why was that so fucking awkward?"
you let out a breath of relief, half yelling in disbelief at the situation. "oh my god i know right?!"
"i've had my hands in your vagina before, remember that diva cup incident?"
"jeez," you groan, "it was really stuck in there. god. your fingers were in there, up there so high. jesus. spelunking vibes.
he laughs, making a gesture in the air. "i was so in there, like, no light at the end of the tunnel."
you let out a low chuckle shaking your head, sinking back into your seat dramatically.
the car is full of laughter for a bit, until you come to a slow halt. you know you have to bring it up.
"maybe we just... rushed this? i mean i still really wanna-"
seugmin cuts you off, speaking fast, "oh trust me i do too."
"i just think it's been a day, and honestly, my ass is getting soaked from the seat still being wet." you say to him, laughing once more.
"yeah good idea." he nods in agreeance.
"look i know we still need to talk, but i think we just both need to sleep. and rest on it." you say as you notice his gaze is trained on you, "but trust me, i still want this. call me on your way to work, yeah?"
"okay." he smiles gently. "i will."
you get out of the car without a word, completely forgetting about your bra in the back seat. seungmin looks sad for a moment until he realises you're making your way to his window. he rolls it down, looking up at you as you approach. he looks innocent almost, his usual stern concentrated face now soft and puffy, hair still messy from the prior events.
you place your hand on the car door, leaning down to match your face with his. he looks like he's about to kiss you, his eyes darting to your lips as he leans forwards but he pauses. "i didn't realise you'd be so whiney."
you push his face back into the car with the palm of your hand, ignoring the stupid grin slapped across his face. "good night, seungmin."
"se-ung-min!" he mocks your tone out the window, nearly waking the neighbours.
you give him the finger as you walk to your house.
===
a/n: part 3 is currently on the way!!!!!!! and will absolutely be disgustingly smutty and slutty we stan
seungmin drabble when you're having period cramps ><
i fully believe seungmin would either super caring or super fucking stupid about this idk which one lmao
-- "lower, not there!"
you groan in slight protest, seungmin behind you with his thumbs pressed deep in your back. he's trying his best, maybe, his fingers digging into your skin like he wanted to rip it off.
"oh oh, there!"
seungmin continues to press into your lower back, finally finding the spot you had wanted him to massage all along. "here?"
you sigh with relief, your boyfriend finally finding the spot. "yes, right th-ere." you grunt, frowning at the pain and relief at the same time.
he laughs, "i'm like, really pressing hard, are you sure this is okay?"
"yeah, deeper."
he raises his brows and shrugs before lifting his fist to press down, almost like a punch. a loud thud enters your ears.
you turn your head to him, mouth wide open, "uhh, ouch!"
he lifts his hands in defence, meeting your scornful gaze, "you said harder!"
"not that hard, jeez."
he pouts, leaning down to kiss your back gently, "i'm sorry."
the feeling runs shivers up your spine, you're too tired and too bloated to care right now. you chuckle, turning your head back down to the bed. "you're lucky i love you."
a/n: idk if you wanted fluff but it turned into humour OOPS
A seungmin drabble of fluff when reader takes a photo of seungmin and threatens to send it to the members members, which ends up him chasing the reader and catching them, ends on a fluffy backhug and face-in-the-neck-i-love-you-confession
I LIVE FOR MINNIE SO PLEASE
hehehe
-- "no, i'm actually in pain. i shouldn't have eaten that last dumpling."
-- "it's your own fault seungmin, i told you not to."
your words are met with a groan from the bathroom, seungmin sitting on the floor. you can see his face leaning in his cheek his hand as he turns to roll the other way.
swiftly, you pull your phone out. seungmin hears the click.
"oh shit," you gasp, running towards the kitchen.
"oi!' seungmin shouts, gaining pace behind you after he lifted himself from the bathroom floor hastily. "i know who you're gonna send it to! don't send it! please!"
as fast as you can you open the group chat, phone shaking in hand as you run. you grunt as you hit your knee on the coffee table, but continue running hearing his stomps behind you.
"you're in for it!" he shouts down the hall still in pain, rounding the corner of the lounge past the kitchen. he chases after you towards the bedroom, your laughter hitting the walls.
and that's when you're cornered, out of breath, hiding behind your bed and the send button just underneath your finger. you hold up your phone, "i'll do it!"
he groans as he lunges over the bed, pulling on your shirt to drag you with him. he's relentless, pulling at the back of your sleeve, wrestling like he never has before for the evidence of his own self wallowing.
after a few screams, slaps and cheap shots, he snatches the phone from you. he's met with your pleading eyes, face flushed and grumpy.
"psh." you say, folding your arms, your legs still tangled with his.
instead of pressing the delete button, he clicks your phone off, burying his face in your neck. you're surprised at his affection, but accept it, still wary if this is his plan of attack.
"i love you." he says, still breathless against your neck.
you're surprised at his confession, but melt into him, rubbing your head against his. "you're just saying this so i don't send it... right?
warnings/other: drug use, alcohol use, unprotected sex, dirty talk, dry humping, slight!exhibitionism, mentions of chan x reader, mentions of minsung, mentions of other members (friendship group), mostly proofread!!
word count: 6k (sorry)
╌ part 1 ╌ part 2
♫ on repeat: shut up and listen - nicholas bonnin x angelicca
(authors note under the cut!)
╌╌╌╌ shock and awe, the peak of the story revealing itself, the conflict. except there were no theatrics and this wasn't a show. this was your own mess and you had to finish it, to come to the conclusion. they were waiting for you, after all.
a/n: this got way more emotional than i intended, the reception i got on the others was so nice!! pls reblog/let me know if you enjoyed this ;; it encourages me to write more and totally makes my day :( but NONE THE LESS ENJOY IM SORRY IT GOT EMOTIONAL N DRAMATIC AAAAAHHH but yeah enjoy some romantic smut and some other nasty powerplay smut lkdlksdlkfj
the cold wind presses against your face, your cheek resting against the side of the car window. it's still cold and still raining every now and then, you loved it. every monumental moment of your life, it had rained. it made you feel cosy, but uncertain. not an unfamiliar feeling.
you take in a deep breath, eyes slowly shutting enjoying the smell of the fresh rain on the road, listening to the patter's along the road.
seungmin quietly moves his hand to your lap, fingers opening slightly as if an invitation. you look back at him, his face contorted in confusion and annoyance. he's arguing with changbin about something, you're not sure who's in the right.
"no, no, it wasn't that!" changbin spits from the front seat, slapping his hand against the steering wheel.
you stare at seungmin, unbothered by what they're arguing about. you decide to gently press your palm against his, sliding your fingers into the crooks of his own. he squeezes back, rubbing the side of your hand with his thumb.
"shut up!" jisung retorts in the seat next to seungmin, his eyes still closed, arms folded across his chest.
after another few cheap shots from both seungmin and changbin, jisung opens his eyes to look over at you.
"please control him," jisung huffs to you in a grumpy tone, gesturing to seungmin, "you're the only one with any sense here, yeesh."
you let out a small laugh,but continue enjoying the feeling of your new found feelings finally being allowed to be free. you look back at jisung to see if he's gone back to sleeping, but he's looking down at you lap, concern on his face.
it's not like you were wanting to hide your new found affection for each other, but you think maybe it's not the right time.
'i just don't think they need to know right now.' seungmin had said the night before, 'you know they'll make fun of us, plus you know what jisung is like.'
you had agreed to what he was saying, turning the phone to your other ear continuing to do your skin care routine.
it was unfortunate you didn't have time to see each other this week. still, you talked on the phone every chance you got. setting boundaries and discussing what would happen between the both of you if something went sour.
you had both joked about the other night, yes, that night, just realising maybe you were both too nervous, too fresh and switching from best friends to lovers was never easy.
seungmin was already aware of your likes and dislikes in bed, always talking at length about hook-ups and what not, laughing about the one time someone went down on you and sneezed. that was always his favourite to hear.
you remember how he had protested at your apprehension in the car, saying he didn't care about the fact that you had your period at all and that he'd dive in head first. you were too overwhelmed at the time to even deconstruct the idea of fucking your best friend. nerves bundling in your chest at how hasty you both were prior. it was exciting though, seeing him in a new light. his bratty and snarky nature soften by the pink hues dancing on his cheeks. someone you knew better then they knew themselves had more to them than you thought.
jisung interrupts the argument still going, "how long?"
-
the holiday home, as always, was welcoming as ever. large dark wooden veranda filled with chairs, a firepit and plants. the air fresh, your mouth wide sucking it into your lungs as you exited the car, stretching so your tummy showed.
"wah!' jisung yells while slapping your tummy, dashing off behind the car not to be seen.
"jisung!" you yelled in protest covering your belly.
seungmin had laughed, opening the boot and beginning to unload it. you notice jisung was still hiding behind the car, his fluffy hair barely visible through the tinted windows. he knows that you'll give it back ten fold if he dare comes near you.
with wide eyes you watch him, planning your next attack but you're met with his face stern and somewhat serious. seungmin just nods at him, looking kind of annoyed. you were unable to hear what he had said, but it didn't look that great from the expression cast down upon seungmins face.
"what was that about?" you ask approaching seungmin, jisung fleeing the scene with his bags.
"uh," seungmin tuts through his teeth, "i'll tell you later."
you follow behind seungmin towards the house, arguing that you can take your own bag. for somebody so lanky and slim he was pretty strong. he just makes a small 'hmph' noise, turning his head to your requests.
it's just the four of you, waiting for the other's to arrive. you decide to unpack your bags alone, heading up the stairs.
the room itself is beautiful, large open windows with sage green curtains pulled back. the bed dark emerald just to match. vines littered across the cornices, draping down to the floor. changbin's family certainly did have money that's for sure. who on earth kept these plants alive?
to your surprise, a pair of hands snake their way around your waist.
you yelp, "seungmin!-"
"shh," he coos, not wanting anyone to hear. you feel his hands snake to your throat, gently resting there but still grabbing firm.
instantly you melt into his touch. you had waited a week for this, to be held by him, to feel his lips against your neck, to feel his body against yours. you feel the way he towers over you, resting his head gently on the top of your head. almost protected, safe.
you feel him breathe lightly against your neck before being met with a sting of pain, his teeth digging into the flesh. he pulls back, kissing the sore spot softly, "is this okay?"
"yeah, yeah." you say already out of breath, chest heaving with laboured breaths. he hasn't even done anything yet and you're already a mess, you feel twinges in your lower stomach, squeezing your legs together.
"you know," he starts, you can sense a smirk on his lips. he moves his mouth to the other side of your neck, biting down just as hard as before, a hiss leaving your lips.
he chuckles, lips dancing their way to the other side of your neck, hand gripping your throat even harder, "i've been thinking about you all week."
the sound of gravel beneath wheels is slight in the distance. he walks you over to the window, making you look down at a four wheel driving arriving, five boys in the car. your friend jeongin's eyes wide taking in the scenery in the front seat. felix, hyunjin and chan seemingly sleeping in the back, minho at the wheel.
seungmin grip tightens on your neck, pushing his hips against your ass, "don't you want them to see?"
"n-no,"
"oh, i know you do." he says in a low tone, the hold on your throat stronger now. "you've fucked chan before, wouldn't he like to see? hmm? your pretty legs spread, cunt wet for everyone to see?"
you scorn at the comment, remembering that it was a drunken mistake a year or so back. it was heat in the moment, the alcohol (or possibly the weed) from last years trip had you dizzy and chan looked good. real good.
instead of melting into his commands, you smile and retort, "you know i'm a top right?"
you're interrupted by sounds of feet on the stairs, seungmin instantly begins scrambling behind you pretending to unpack your luggage.
changbin peers through the door before jolting away, "hey! others are here."
"thanks," you both choke out, looking at the now empty door way.
seungmin points his gaze to you, eyes filled with an emotion you don't think you've ever seen before.
it's a dangerous game you're both playing, especially with seven more eyes ready to notice anything that seemed off. you liked it, and so did he. though you were both still figuring each other out, you know that you were okay with this now. both ready and willing as ever, it was just about who could cave at this point.
-
the fire crackles in front of you, sounds of your drunk friends laughing and reminiscing about school and university.
you look down at your friends, soaking in the friendship you all shared. just to be with them all, no other thoughts than the appreciation of each other and a good time. there were a few disposable camera working their ways around the group. changbin had taken a few low angled double chin shots, he'd be mad about that in the morning.
stuck in your thoughts you notice chan staring at you while heating a marshmallow. a small smile tugs at the sides of his mouth and you return it, as if your eyes say it all.
chan came into your friendship group not long ago, meeting him through an ex of jeongin's. you all became very close in a short amount of time and loved the new addition of your friend group.
he was cute, so damn cute, his bulby nose crinkling anytime he let out a breathy laugh. you thought he was absolutely adorable and loved the way his eyes scrunched, almost disappearing when he smiled.
this exact day last year, sometime in the middle of the night, you remember in your stoned haze that chan had come into your room, gently slipping into the covers without a word. seungmin was passed out on the floor next to you, bottle of water in his hand and bucket next to his head.
"hey," chan had shout-whispered, "are you awake?"
"yeah i'm just... really- fucking- high." you laughed lowly, body flopping over to chan's direction. "the lights are so pretty though," you commented, pointing to the fairy lights.
you felt his eyes on you, so you turned your head to the side, smiling as you're met with his cute eyes squinting from the weed prior. "i think i'm really fucking high too," he giggles, burying his face into the pillow.
he pulled himself up almost comically, "i can't sleep."
"neither," you snort, making the two of you blast into laughter again, seungmin still passed out on the ground, a few missed calls and texts from his partner at the time flashing on his screen. they weren't able to come, you were relieved but weren't sure why.
chan leant onto his arms, still laughing, "hey like, can i kiss you?"
"yeah." you said without hesitation, not even a hint of surprise. you had been flirting the whole night, so you're not entirely surprised. you weren't sure if it was the weed, or the alcohol, or the fact that he just looked so good in this moment, hair messy and drunk eyes staring back at your own.
you smile at him, a calmness washing over you. he's so beautiful.
he whispered something before he pressed his lips against yours, you can't remember what it was. the feeling warm, his round lips gently opening and pressing back again. you tried to be quiet but it didn't matter, moaning against chan's mouth when he slot his hand to your waist, using your hips to guide him while pressing himself on top of you. seungmin was black out drunk, mumbling every now and then, completely missing the moans grunts you shared as chan thrust into you, your hands covering each others mouths as he worked you.
in that morning you awoke to chan, sitting up and staring into space. seungmin no where to be found.
you sit up too, feeling the back of your hair sticking up. "did we?"
"yeah."
you're pulled from your thoughts as seungmin presses a finger to the side of your head, pushing you a little too hard. you scowl at him while raising your fist, threatening him more with every inch you wound up your arm, like a crank. little shit, he was just like a puppy, wanting your attention.
felix and jeongin are sitting by the fire, playing some hand slap game. you can hear felix sigh every now and then, taking another shot at his defeat. he was never good at this game, but he always refused to back down. jeongin was just quicker, much to hyunjins amusement.
changbin laughs before stepping behind you, interrupting the display of aggression. he flops himself around you, hands resting across your chest. the blunt apparent between his fingers.
"i'm so glad we're all here," he giggles, rubbing his chin into your hair. changbin was always a softy, loving any form of physical affection.
"you're high," you laugh, rubbing his large arms in an loving manor. "happy birthday."
you stay like that for a moment, swaying with him to the music, the sound of your friends laughing dancing in your ears.
"mm," changbin mumbles before whipping his attention to seungmin.
his large frame stoops over seungmin, passing him the joint he had been babying for about ten minutes. seungmin takes it from changbin and lights it a few times before taking in a long drag, head resting back on the chair.
"you're single now huh?" changbin questions, plopping down between the two of you.
"hm?" seungmin asks, eyebrows raised.
"i think he's got his eye on someone," jisung interrupts, looking over in your direction as he takes a bottle of beer from the cooler, passing one to hyunjin.
"oh oh oh! who is it?" jeongin butts in, rolling from his position on the ground from the fire to you.
"guys c'mon," minho sighs, trying to deflect the situation. minho had always been like this, he didn't like prying into others peoples lives. "leave him alone."
"no, i wanna know!" jeongin retorts, leaning in closer. felix nods while crawling over with jeongin, eyes wide with curiosity.
seungmin leans forward after taking another hit. he sighs in gest, "you guys really wanna know? like really wanna know?"
felix and jeongin nod ferociously, "yeah yeah!"
seungmin bends down to jeongin, lips pouting in his direction, "it's...it's you baby."
jeongin gasps dramatically, hand on his chest. he stands to his feet, matching eyes with seungmin. "does this- does this mean we can kiss?"
"i've felt this for so long... i can't hold it in any longer." seungmin declares, standing to his feet as well, hands grabbing the sides of jeongin's shoulders. "can i... can i please?"
"kiss me! kiss me now." jeongin shouts as he grabs the sides of his seungmin's cheeks, almost aggressively.
"kiss!" felix half screams, hands clapping at the theatrics display.
within a second, jeongin messily plants a kiss on seungmins lips, no hesitation, the two laughing behind their lips as the group bursts out in woo's and laughter. jeongin pulls back before growling, "i've waited so long to do that,"
before you can enjoy the final act of the show jisung stands to his feet, beer in hand. "it's her."
hyunjin frowns, head turning to the side. suddenly the air is heavy and no one is laughing any more, the low rumble of the bluetooth speaker playing some edm music and fire crackling in the background. confusion is slapped on everyone's faces.
"her." jisung points his bottle at you, tongue in his cheek.
"huh?" you mumble, not following what jisung is saying. he just stares at you, expression blank.
"what he talking about?" chan questions, looking over at you.
minho sighs, head shaking, "dude c'mon-"
jisung steps forwards, "these two are sneaking behind our backs."
chan frowns getting to his feet, and before he can even speak, jisung interrupts, "we all know about you and her chan, not that seungmin remembers."
hyunjin takes a swig of his beer, eyed wide and seemingly dissociating.
"what the fuck is going on?" jeongin voices confusion in his tone.
seungmin looks at jisung calmly, taking a final toke of the blunt in his hand. seungmin knew you slept with chan, so the accusation wasn't anything new, you had told him about it the day after on the way home. he had only laughed, saying he wasn't surprised at the fact that it happened nor that he didn't wake up.
seungmin steps in front of you, as if almost a defence. "what relevance does it have if she slept with chan? what are you getting at?"
"maybe she should learn to close her legs. seems to be making her way around the group."
changbin chimes in, stepping in front of jisung, "chill, you're just drunk."
"dude," minho says standing to confront jisung, placing a hand on his chest gently, "just go inside."
you're frozen, all eyes on you.
you can feel something in your throat, burning on your tongue. the words already feeling like they're slipping. you're about to spill something you shouldn't. that's when it happened, the word vomit spilling over the edges.
you stand to your feet, pushing seungmin aside. "should probably work on closing your legs too, minho seems to be in them enough."
shock and awe, the peak of the story revealing itself, the conflict. except there were no theatrics and this wasn't a show. this was your own mess and you had to finish it, to come to the conclusion. they were waiting for you, after all.
everyone is quiet as jisung quietly walks himself into the house, pushing away changbin and minho in his path, tears forming in his eyes.
laid out on a silver platter, there it was. the secret you had promised not to tell. the one thing jisung asked of you, the one you pinky promised not to, the one he cried to you about days after it happened, worried about the fabric of the group. how he feared it was falling apart because of the lies he was keeping. you knew better, you knew better than to speak this way. it didn't matter that jisung had called you out. this wasn't you, this was fight or flight. and you had chosen wrong.
-
it's around 5am that your eyes flutter awake, moon light barely peaking in the room. seungmin is next to you and as always he's sleeping on his back not moving an inch.
you're tossing up between waking jisung to apologise, or just to leave it. let him process you're fucked up mistake. no one had said a word after you had dropped that bomb, everyone had stood up in silence, picking up a few beers walking back inside.
you felt unwelcome, unwelcome in the space that you all had created and all it took was a sentence to ruin it, from you.
you lean forwards to press a gentle kiss on seungmin's cheek, he stirs and makes a small sound but doesn't wake. fucking weed dry mouth, you complain to yourself, quietly getting out of bed and walking down the stairs.
you're met with a pair of eyes, minhos. seems he had the same idea.
"hey," he says staring off into space.
"hey." you say back, voice still groggy from sleep. you walk to fridge and take out a bottle of water. nothing is said as you sit across from him, his eyes trained on the empty fruit bowl in front of him.
"it was bound to come out sooner or later," minho says as a matter of fact, taking another sip.
you laugh lightly, taking in a sharp breath, "which secret?"
he shrugs, "pick one, we all have them."
his words are true, but an unfair lightness is in them. you don't deserve that. you don't deserve the niceness he's giving you, but minho was always kind, reserved with what he said and when he spoke he always had reason to. "he was wrong you know, but so were you."
"yeeep." you nod, placing emphasis on the p. "not wrong there."
minho looks over to you, kindness in his eyes, "if you're happy with seungmin, i'm happy for you."
"ah," you begin, stretching your back, "its fresh but, it feels right."
"who caved first?" minho questions, tucking his hair behind his ear.
you frown, scratching at a piece of tile on the kitchen counter. "what do you mean?"
"it was you, wasn't it?" he smiles, cheeky expression on his face. "of course it was you."
"yeeeeah," you let out a breath.
"but..." he pauses, "are you happy?" there is a genuine concern in his voice, no judgement, just an open heart.
without hesitation you nod, taking another sip of water. "what about you? are you happy?"
minho smiles, fondness in his eyes, "yeah, yeah i am."
after moment of silence you let out a long sigh, still trying to wrap your head around what was happening. minho seems to notice.
"c'mere." he says reaching out his arms. you walk over to him, sulkily dragging your feet as he embraces you.
"i'm sorry," you mumble into his chest, arms wrapping around his waist.
he says nothing but kisses you on the top of your head, rubbing your back. you both talk briefly about how it happened, what started it and the awkward attempt you had at your first time. he returns the same energy, joking about jisung and how anxious he was trying to initiate. after a long talk, you notice the slight sign of light. you both decide to go back to bed, drinking the last of your waters.
"you'll be okay," minho says squeezing your hand gently before walking up the stairs. "just talk to him in the morning, you know what he's like when he drinks."
you return a light smile, grateful for his kindness in the time where you didn't feel like you deserved it.
-
after taking a minute to process, you tip toe up stairs, carefully slipping yourself back into bed. your head heavy on the pillow as you scooch closer to seungmin. you let out a long sigh, melding your body into his. this seems to wake him a bit as he turns his body to you, eyes fluttering open the tiniest bit. he raises his brows as an attempt to open his eye wider.
"sleep." you say quietly, moving your hands under the blanket to slip into his. he happily accepts your hand, bringing it to rest on his hip. you think he's going to sleep soon, but he brings his free hand up to his lips, index finger pressing against his lips making a shh noise.
your heart thumps abruptly, almost slurping you. you open your mouth to say something, you're not sure what.
it feels like everything is slipping into place in this moment. the sound of rain beginning enters your ears, banging against the window. it's heavy but soothing. it always was.
seungmin sleepily stares at you, but says nothing. as if adoring you like this. taking in everything about you in this moment, your hair sticking in all places, your eyes slightly swollen from the sleep and probably the crying. he loves you, he always had and he doesn't need to say it. you can see it in his eyes. the way they search your face, as if trying to put his finger on what you were thinking.
when you had both moved upstairs after last night's scene, you had ended up sitting in the shower. tears slipping down your cheeks as you attempted to wash yourself, your tiny sobs echoing off the bathroom walls. knowing you need to get out soon, the water was getting cold after all, you stand to your feet, wobbly from your state. it could have been the weed or alcohol too, you weren't sure.
seungmin had opened the door, closing it just as gently as he opened it. all you had heard was the faint sounds of the clothes hitting the ground.
he calmly stepped into the shower, body naked before you. you looked up at him, feeling like a drowned rat feeling sorry for itself. his eyes worked over you, taking in the display before him.
"it's okay." was all he said before gently turning you around, his hands worming his way around your waist. he pressed a gentle long kiss to your shoulder, "it's okay." he repeated, reassuring you that you were safe.
with that touch your sobs got loud again, your hands pressed themselves to your face, as if hiding yourself from him.
how seungmin was always calm in these situations you'll never know. you were messy, uncalculated and quick to act. while he was reserved, thoughtful but sometimes maybe too much. a perfect match in your mind, making more sense the more you think about it.
when you turned to look at him, he doesn't have any anger in his face or disappointment, just a calm worry, "want me to wash your hair?"
you nod, taking in your last breathy sob. you didn't talk too much about it, but seungmin wasn't angry at you at all. if anything you and jisung were on even grounds now. him revealing what jisung had said to him prior at the car. 'you're lying to us, i know you've got something going on. don't fuck with the fabric of the group. it's dangerous.'
you had scoffed, saying how he was doing the same thing. now it seemed seungmin had a point. he was okay with the fact that you hadn't told him about minho and jisung, knowing that you promised to keep the secret for them, as he'd expect you to do for him. it was 'hypocritical for him to say those things' seungmin had said and he was right, he was always right.
a thunder rumbles in your ears, making the windows shake.
you feel seungmin's hand pull yours to behind his back as he rolls his to face you, his other hand resting itself on your hip. he slips his fingers into the waist band of your undies, beginning to knead your flesh.
his breath seems heavy now, his eyes a little more awake. as if fog clouding your mind you don't seem to be able to think straight, you can't form any thoughts. just wanting to be swallowed by this moment, swallow by him.
with no words spoken between the two of you, you lean your body against his more, your chest resting against his own. he begins angling himself to slot his leg between yours, his clothed cock gently pressing against your core.
you let out a sharp breath, relishing in the feeling pooling in you. you notice as he gently starts moving his hips against yours, angling his face lower to rest his forehead against your own.
a gentle gasp leaves your lips, eyes fluttering with the gentle pressure he's making with his hips against your own. you can feel him against you, his dick hardening with every movement against you.
the kiss he pressed on your lips as soft, lips gently parting and sliding so lightly against your own. they fit perfectly, the movement of your own matching his.
this is what you had been waiting for, this moment, no dramatic performance of a power play, no seeing who would take the lead. you were on even grounds, both playing the main part.
you're lost in him, lost in the feeling of him against you, swimming in the daze of what's happening. he pulls back for a moment, hips pausing as he slowly lifts up your shirt, revealing your breasts. he leans down to kiss them gently, tongue lapping up all of your skin.
moans are in the air, your own and his included. he makes a mess of your chest, sucking red spots into your skin. he remembers how you enjoyed being marked, being made to be someone else's. but you were his now, only his, and he wanted to let it be shown.
"seung-"
"shh." he coos, bringing his face back to yours. you nod at him, bottom lip between your teeth.
it's the final time either of you speak for a bit, hands exploring each others bodies, enjoying the warmth of each others skin. the sound of the rain messing into your groans. nothing is rushed, your kisses are slow and deep, making sure to taste each other completely.
your leg swings around his hip to straddle him, gently nestling your crotch on his own. he takes in the sight in front of him, hands resting on the place where your undies melded into your hips. slowly, you place pressure on him, hips gently rutting against his own. he pulls in sharp breath, fingers digging into you just a bit more.
"fuck-" he blurts out, head falling back.
you pull on his jaw to look you and copy his previous move, the index finger on your free hand moving to your lips. shh you mouth, and he nods, pleading eyes staring back at you. you could have stayed like this forever.
nothing could have explained the expression on seungmin's face when you crawled yourself backwards on your knees a bit, making room to free him from his boxers. he jolts as the sensation, watching your every move as you move your panties to the side, aligning yourself with his cock. you move it along your folds a few times, making sure to coat every inch of him with your wetness.
moans hit the walls as you situate yourself on his cock, easily slipping in from how eager you were.
you let out a gentle hum, taking in the feeling of fullness in your walls. your hips, having a mind of their own, start to rock backwards an forwards, his hands on your hips assisting you with your movement.
before you can quicken your pace he sits upward, wrapping his long arms around your waist. his head resting in the crook of your neck, lazily pressing kisses along the way to your lips.
your hands find their way to the back of his neck, winding into the soft strands of his hair. he looks up at you, as if his eyes are telling you they loved you.
this time, your eyes are stationed on him as you begin to rock your hips again, enjoying the feeling of being wrapped up in him, mouths completely smeared with each others juices. neither of your cared, nothing else was on your mind this feeling you were sharing.
to your surprise tears begin to well at the bottom of his eyes. his thrusts come to a stop. he tries to hide but you nudge your forehead against his, halting your hips.
"hey, hey, you okay?" you speak gently, pressing a kiss on his temple.
he lets out a light scoff, eyes looking up at you. "no talking, remember?"
gently you smile at him, taking his cheeks in your hands.
seungmin knows it's time to say this, the feeling bubbling in his chest overwhelming him every second that passed.
"i love you so much."
you're not surprised by his confession, you had said it countless times to each other but this was different. it wasn't friendly, it wasn't uneasy, it was pure genuine emotion, the first time in your life where you felt like somebody said it and meant it.
"i love you." you say back easily, like the words were meant to be said. he rests his forehead against your lips, soaking in the words you had said. you're swimming in him, his raw emotions making you fall even deeper in love with him.
after a minute or so, he looks up at you, his eyes wide and asking for permission to start again. you nod, beginning to move your hips.
it's slow and fuck it feels so good, you feel as though you can't get enough and never will, you don't ever want to leave this bed. everything was overwhelming you, his touches, his lips, his sounds.
one of his hands removes themselves from your waist, two of his fingers travel down swiftly pressing down onto your clit. you jolt at the sudden touch, legs clenching around him. his fingers press hard, slowly moving in circles.
nothing makes sense, your mind going blank being filled with pressure. his fingers matching with his thrusts are sending you over the edge. after a while you're getting close, your walls clenching around him as he continues his circles on you, his cock thrusting into you so deeply.
you can feel you're coming to your peak, your hands gripping the back of his hair aggressively, finding purchase on anything you can.
it hits you like a wave, sparks of white washing over your whole body. the tingles rippling up and down your core, your walls engulfing him even tighter. he doesn't stop, continuing his thrusts at a slightly faster pace while letting you ride your high. your eyes are squeezed shut, mouth hanging open letting out a high pitched moan, cussing at the feeling.
a soft smile is on his face as he slows his fingers, pleased with the sounds that you're making.
when you come back to yours senses just tiny bit, you release the aggressive hold on his hair. the kiss you share is sweet but rushed, an urgency in your touch to get closer to him in any way possible.
"cum in me." you speak against his lips almost a whisper, turning your head to get a better angle. "please... i need you."
it takes him no time to disagree, his hands immediately coming to your sides as they push you onto your back. he pulls your legs around his waist and leans his arms beside your head, his lips marking any piece of skin he could find in the process.
you're so full, your walls still sensitive from your prior orgasm. the overstimulation from his cock beginning to thrust into you again almost sends you into a spiral, your hands wrap around his back pulling him closer to you. you can tell he's close, his thrusts are shallowing and faster paced, his moans and grunts louder in your ears.
his lips come to your own as he approaches his high, messily pressing into yours. you open your mouth as he bites on your bottom lip, almost drawing blood as he empties himself in you.
still riding out his high, he thrusts a few times with no rhythm, his lower body twitching with the feelings running along his body.
your chests press together as he brings himself up to look at you, his hands pushing your sweaty hair back out of your face, just to admire the way you looked. pink blotchy and messy, just how he liked you. you stay like this for a bit, seungmin peppering kisses all over your chest and jaw.
the two of you match eyes, sexual tension finally cut with that damn knife.
instantly you both snigger, bursting into a fit of laughter.
"holy shit." seungmin exclaims through a laugh.
you enjoy the sudden burst of laughter, almost shocked at what had just happened but damn, it was a long time coming.
"that was-"
"yeah... it was."
-
the sound of knocking enters your ears as you awoke to an empty bed, quickly sitting up while covering your chest. you remember you still have one night to go, to sort out this mess.
"eh?!" you yelled, situating yourself in the bed properly.
"it's me." a gentle voice says through the door. it's jisung.
you slam your forehead in your hand, forgetting for a moment the events prior. you groan, hastily pressing down your hair. "i'm kinda naked but... come in."
when jisung steps in you notice the wounded expression on his face, his face puffy from sleep. he tip toes over to the bed hesitantly, fingers barely peaking out from his sweater.
"can i just?" he mumbles, stretching out his arms.
you nod, opening your arms to him.
he jolts into your arms, pressing himself into your chest barely covered by the sheet. "i'm sorry."
"no, i'm sorry."
the two of you speak about what happened, how he felt so angry that you blurted his secret out when he wasn't ready for it to be told, but he felt so bad for making a big deal out of you and seungmin, knowing it was hypocritical for him to do so. he knows he should have talked to you about it instead of shooting first. i should have trusted you. he had said, but you both just wanted this to be over, both feeling emotional at the display that happened.
you both apologised once more pulling him into a hug.
"i'm hungry now." he had said after calming down.
"me too."
-
the rain had began once again, the weather was too harsh to have your last night outside. but that was okay, laughter rang in the air as you had pushed felix onto the ground, threatening him with a lipstick. jeongin was egging you on, completely disregarding felix's dignity.
"i'm gonna do it!" you threaten, straddling felix's waist.
"i didn't even lose!" he had yelled in protest, legs flailing beneath you.
hyunjin scoffs, "uh you totally did."
"we could all see!" chan retorts, flailing his beer in the air.
in fact he did lose, felix was always bad at poker. never once had he won, always saying that others were cheating. a sulky loser he was, throwing a fit anytime jeongin had beat him earlier in the night.
"help me out here." you say over to changbin, your arms struggling while pushing felix down. changbin obliges, chuckling as he pushes felix down further.
seungmin was watching you with crescent eyes, enjoying the sight before him. "babe, make sure you get his teeth too."
"roger." you agree, popping open the lipstick.
jisung sat down next to seungmin, handing him a beer.
"babe?" jisung questions with his brows raised, popping the top of his drink.
seungmin laughs, nudging jisung to the side. "shut up,"
everyone watched as you messily applied the dark red lipstick all over felix's lips, changbin's grip too strong for him to move more than a centimetre.
your gaze whips to seungmin, "good enough?"
"hmm," seungmin stands, fingers on his chin in thought. "little more on the side, gimme."
felix screams in a high pitch at seungmin, already assaulted with the lipstick enough.
you watch it happen, loving the way seungmin is concentrating as hard as he ever had.
"gorgeous!" you say relishing in the beautiful boy beneath you.
seungmin smiles, sitting back to admire his masterpiece. "stunning."
here it finally is, the conclusion revealing itself, the end of the final act.
it was simple really. it just took you a while to figure everything out. all these last seven years. this was where you were meant to be, here with your best friends doing dumb shit that you always did. it was home, they were home, they were family. and you wouldn't change a damn thing.
-----
a/n:.....damn how'd that happen, i was supposed to sleep like 3 hours ago... anyways i hope you enjoyed!! this took me a while to write because i was so busy with work, but im planning on doing an epilogue???? maybe???? anyways LMK IF U LIKED <;33
