reader & eddie need time to wrap presents and get trailer sorted for christmas (and some alone time).
steve agrees to take the kids to the mall, wayne is 4 at this point. he takes them for lunch, shopping and to meet the mall santa.
when the kids come back looking as evangelical as ever, steve looks like he’s about to pull his hair out. doesn’t greet his friends, walks straight to the fridge for a beer.
reader takes penny and wayne for bathtime and steve collapses on the couch next to eddie. eddie is waiting for him to divulge what happened today. steve is yet to speak.
‘i took them to meet santa. wayne pulled me down to talk to me right before his turn. he looked me dead in the eye and said ‘i’m gunna pull his beard off to see if he’s the real santa’ and then ran off towards the poor old guy before i could even respond’. steve takes the biggest gulp of his beer and eddie bursts into laughter, images of wayne pulling off santa’s beard and traumatising all the kids waiting in line behind him.
‘demon spawn’ is all steve mutters inbetween sips of his beer.
Poor Uncle Steve, Wayne’s been putting him through the ringer since he was in diapers 😔
One of Eddie’s kids going through the phase where all they say is no would be so funny for everyone else but annoying as hell for you and Eddie. I just imagine reader coaxing said kid to say hi to their grandpa Wayne but they’re just like “no”. He thinks it’s hilarious as shit but readers all concerned and keeps trying to get them to say it
Penny is little miss attitude when she learns the word No. She doesn’t even understand the meaning of it (and when she does, she says no to get back at her parents for when they say no to her lol but it obviously doesn’t work), but it’s allllllll she says when someone talks to her. It’s a cute little gimmick to everyone else, but when she’s gently urged to say thank you for a gift, “No.”
“I love you so much, sweet pea, do you love daddy?”
Yes. “No.”
“Do you love mommy?”
Yes. “No.” But then both of you say you love her and since it’s not followed with a question, she says luh you 🥺
“Do you wanna cuddle with me?” She does, but still, “No.”
“Do you wanna go outside for a walk?”
Yes. “No.”
“Do you want to go on the swings?”
Yes. “No.”
And it’s the SAME EXACT THING when she starts saying Yes, doesn’t know what it means, but it’s her new favorite word to say so
“Do you love the state of the economy right now?” (These are Eddie questions to amuse himself)
“Ya.”
“Do you love solving all your problems with violence?”
“Ya.”
“Do you wanna go jump Uncle Steve with me? Get in a few kicks to that big head of his?”
“Ya.”
And when the Ya turns into Yesh, its the cutest thing and a major relief because she’s starting to actually understand words, so you dont hear it a crap ton anymore, she knows when to use it and when not (she does still throw tantrums, screaming Yesh! 😠 whenever Eddie tells her no, she knows better than to try that with you)
Eddie has a close bond with his oldest, they have their own inside jokes that mommy isn’t in on but it’s okay cause you’re glad Penny is close with daddy but Wayne!? Eddie wasn’t prepared to be left out of the jokes between his infant son and lovely lady.
Wayne is sitting on your lap and he’s just giggly today, mom jokes and baby talks with him. His mom is a comedy genius today! Until he hears this agitating grating voice “aw Waynie” and Wayne side eyes his dad who is just sitting there watching the bonding time between mom and son with full on heart eyes. The side eye Waynie gives his daddy says “can I help you?” But he forgets his daddy’s presents and full on throws himself into his mommy like a koala cause this lady gives the best hugs and kisses 🫶🏼🤌🏼
Eddie tryna slip into the conversation he wasn’t a part of like, “What’s so funny, guys?”
i also love that we know Waynie is just constantly side eyeing bc it’s his specialty and his dad and sister get a TON of it.
he’d just give his daddy an unimpressed look like ‘anyways’, and go back to being all smiles :D at mommy because c’mon it’s mommy!!!!! he loves mommy so much!!! she knows how he likes everything!!!! and mommy always smells nice and gives him kisses and warm hugs and rocks him from side to side while rubbing his back, and she got the boobie, and her silly voices are so funny he laughs so hard that sometimes gas comes out and mommy says that’s okay 😌 mommy is sooooooo funny!! not like daddy 😒 who has also eaten his toes and stolen his nose one too many times 😠 and he never gives them back!
I was thinking how cute and funny it would be while Penny is a newborn, and they’re all at home resting. Penny is laying on eddie’s chest and crawls up thinking he has milk and he’s just like???
Newborn Penny will attempt to latch onto anything that may trick her into thinking it’s Reader’s boob.
When she’s cradled in another woman’s arms, tucked in the crook of Robin’s and she feels Robin’s boob against her head, she’s craning her neck back and searching for a nipple. It goes that way with any chest Penny is near when she’s hungry. It doesn’t even necessarily have to be one that has mounds (so big boobs), she’s gone for Nancy’s before and Eddie does skin to skin. Loves being shirtless and having his babygirl on his chest in her diaper, rubbing her back to soothe her so they can bond, but if she happens to feel the peak of his nipple, she’s going for it.
It’s just a newborn’s instinct! She instinctively knows where she’s supposed to get milk from so she tries with everyone when she’s hungry and it’s not Reader holding her. Reader is the only one who provides for her, in that manner, of course. And it goes on until she grows out of the newborn phase. Penny kind of knows, as a baby, that it’s Reader who breastfeeds her—associates it with Reader—but she still does occasionally try with Eddie. She gets mad and a little confused when she realizes she gets nothing from him and when he pulls away from her, so Penny just uses them to yank and twist on after she comes to the conclusion that they’re useless to her.
Eddie ends up wearing shirts after that, just to make sure his kid stops giving him purple nurples.
Penny, but with a camcorder 😭 now there’s just an old home video of Penny telling Wayne that mommy’s dead, and his little face is stunned, while you hear Eddie in the background in a panic going, “P-Penny?! Sweetheart, no! Mommy’s not de-”
Then, the video just goes black.
Wayne’s mortified little face being the last image the camcorder catches paired with Eddie panicking in the background 💀
And I know Penny is so deadass serious with the delivery of that prank line, goes from approaching her little brother while recording him like 😀📹 to, “Guess what Waynie? Mommy is dead and she’s never coming back 😐📹” and after Eddie steps in, “Daddy, how come you ruined my joke—i didn’t even get to see him cry 😒”
And after you hear about her little innocent yet morbid prank, “Quit telling everyone I’m dead!”
Do you think some of Eddie peers are jealous that he’s got wife and 3 kids at home, sure Eddie feel into the rock and roll lifestyle but he didn’t let partying, groupies or drugs consume him, he’s got a loving wife and adorable kids waiting for him and they see that all of eddies love and devotion is for his family and music. Eddies just like “I do my job, rock out and go home”
Say he got invited to a big after party where he’ll party with Ozzy or Metallica but he declines because he just found out his kids are having their own Wrestler Mania back at the hotel room and he can’t miss that again
Or Eddie takes you to the party and y’all are getting approach and people like your relationship vibe and yall are getting hit on that you get both get a invitation to go to a “different party” in a hotel room and it goes over your head like “oh actually we aren’t staying long we gotta get back before the new Simpsons episode start”
Or when the band gets interviewed we see the kids in the background and the world gets to see Eddie being the best dad and loving husband. Every 80/90’s musician in the rock/metal scene are single, loves to party, and is reckless so Eddie was a change they weren’t expecting.
Sooo….You’re not gonna be very happy with me. Let’s go through this together and hopefully you wont hate me too much because it does get better.
Yes, Eddie’s peers do experience a little jealousy at the family he has, the constant love surrounding him—but he does succumb to the partying, drugs….and almost a groupie (THIS WILL BE TOUCHED ON MORE IN THE FIC IM PERFECTING, DONT THROW THE TOMATOES). He does his job, rocks out, and sometimes he craves reaping the rewards (drugs and parting and soaking it all in—not the groupies, that’s a related situation but not a part of what he craves) of his success. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity, he gets caught up in it. And it eats at him because he also knows his wife and his beautiful kids are also a once in a lifetime opportunity. That’s what kicks his ass back into gear.
It’s a life that you enjoy sometimes, love being on his arm, at his side, watching him glow underneath all those flashing lights. That confident smirk on his face, he belongs. It’s completely his element, what you knew he was always meant to do. And for the most part, you love being his wife, the wife of a Rockstar. How he’s always ravenous for you, the way he handles you when he’s fresh off the stage—be stadium stage or a some big fancy hall stage for an award ceremony—the parties he takes you to, the material things, not having to work your ass off to survive anymore, not having to work at all. You hate how women literally throw themselves at him, constantly expose themselves to him (the amount of flashing is INSANE, you see more titties than you ever did in the girls’ locker room back in high l when you’re tucked under his arm) but he only ever has eyes for you (shhh, we’re not talking about the groupie rn, that will be explained and you will understand).
And sometimes, being the wife of a Rockstar is hard. The tabloids are relentless, he tours the world and you stay with the kids, he’s doing coke with his pals and their gals while you’re washing the dishes halfway across the world. He’s partying after tour nights, you’re reading bedtime stories. You’re the wife of a Rockstar alright, and while he doesn’t have a mistress, sometimes the world acts as one. Sometimes the world gets him more than you do and he forgets that. Sometimes you don’t want to be the wife of a rockstar. You just want to be Eddie’s wife.
He gets there though, he gets to the points you’re talking about. Maybe not all of them, but he doesn’t become that messy playboy the world wants him to be. Still looks like a bad boy, but interviewers always note in articles they write, about the toys lingering around the house. Empty spaces on the walls, tables and shelves that had no doubt held picture frames prior to the journalists’ arrival, he was intent on keeping every precious moment and memory with his family private and away from the vicious prying eyes of the public. It’s interesting for you to read, because the first thought of an outsider’s mind is maybe something along the lines of Eddie not being sentimental or ashamed of the family, when it’s the entire opposite.
He starts ditching parties early to go back home and party with his favorite people before their bedtime (and then party with you all night long), starts having you and the kids closer during his shows again (you used to come to a few when Corroded Coffin made it bring, would bring the kids, until the shows got even bigger somehow, rowdier and fans get invasive). its difficult, especially with having to wrangle Maple—but Eddie doesn’t mind it when she runs onto the stage. if he’s feeling particularly nice, he’ll share her with the crowd for a song—but not much longer than that. He’s stingy with his family, protective, doesn’t need people thinking they can throw their unwanted opinions about his own damn kids out there—he’s assaulted people over it. And that’s not to say he hasn’t flaunted all of you, either. Fame is such a bittersweet accomplishment, he wants to show you all off to the world and sometimes he does, but the world is not kind, so he’s gotta keep you close and away from the cameras. He struggles with the back and forth a lot.
Again, the media is not kind to him, even while watching him be a father. But a couple of years from then, when his kids are older, the media/internet/etc. will pull up the photos/videos of him from the past with his kids, being so tender and playful with them. Loving. And he’ll be properly appreciated by them then. The two of you will have risen to be one of Hollywood’s golden couples, by then too. Heavily romanticized—and they’re not wrong.
It gets messy, gets cleaned up, gets messy, gets cleaned up, stays relatively clean. That’s the late 90s and Y2K, baby 😎
Just read the little blurb about Penny vomiting on Eddie when she was a baby, and it just makes total sense for Eddie to become a victim of his children's projectile bodily fluids, lmao.
Where there was Penny's vomit, there was Wayne's pee.
There was a serious moment where Eddie was scared to change Wayne's diaper, after the kid started randomly unleashing his pee the second the diaper came off. As Wayne has on his usual baby blank face, just comfortably flailing his legs about, he's watching his dad totally freak out about being covered in pee!
This has, unfortunately, happened to me, so this is coming from some experience :’)
(p.s. i love everything you always add on to them so much)
Changing Wayne’s diapers is anxiety inducing, sometimes.
All the time.
Eddie’s got the baby on the changing mat, his onesie undone and scrunched under Wayne’s lower half as his son’s legs kick in the air, little fists bunched up, brown eyes boring into his dad’s. The diaper is undone, fastening strips pulled apart and now the front of the diaper is just covering his son up, acting as a shield.
The two Munson boys just stare at each other.
Eddie’s face, like Wayne’s, gives off no emotion, blank as he gives his baby ample time to add a last minute addition to his soiled diaper because—for some godforsaken reason─the minute Eddie pulls the top of the diaper down, Wayne shoots off like a hose and Eddie is left scrambling to cover his son’s doodle and stop the pee stream attack. It had been bad enough when Penny would do it as a baby—she didn’t have a penis, though. Her pee stream was relatively controllable, whereas Wayne’s would hit the ceiling, the walls, and any shirt Eddie was wearing. And, on occasion, his face.
Eddie had heard the sound of a small stream of pee against the inside of the diaper moments prior, had seen the unsecured diaper rise for just a few seconds with the force of it. But his baby is a trickster, a little mischievous, just like his dad. And he’s got one helluva poker face.
Eddie wonders if it’s a pavlovian effect; if he’s actually and accidentally conditioned his kid to start pissing the second his lower half is freed from the confines of his diaper. Wayne’s gotten you a few times, too, but you’re speedy (and well prepared now, you immediately place a wet wipe over your baby’s little bits to soak up last minute additions that might come out as you switch out the soiled diaper for a clean one).
After five more minutes of their stare down, he braves a check─
—and immediately has to shove the top of the diaper back in place when a stream shoots out to hit the back of the couch, near Eddie’s head.
HAH! His little fire hydrant missed.
This time.
Eddie grins as he realizes he can easily swap the diaper out now, he’s got a small enough window of time.
The grin slowly falls when he glances around him, at all the diaper changing supplies, wet wipes, spare diaper or two, some ointment to prevent any chaffing or rashes in between his son’s rolls….but no baby powder. His gaze slowly slinks across the room, spying the white bottle on the small kitchen table, before falling back to rest on his son.
Little legs still kicking, eyes still boring into him, but this time his plump little lips stretch into a puckered ‘O’, and Eddie can already hear his son in his head, Ooooooh, you left it all the way over there, daddy. Go get it...I won’t peepee on you when you get back….
Safe to say, Eddie ends up having to change his shirt again after he snags the baby powder and finally changes his son’s diaper.
