{--ooc; What was Kaz's first mental thought when meeting Big Boss?
A burning sensation cascades through his right hand——a limp arm, resting out to his side. Only half conscious, blue hues come to rest on the immobile limb. ` At least it’s still there,` he thinks, before the little attention he still possesses focuses upon the man before him.
” You—ah, you… you killed my men. “
He’s rugged——rugged in the way that told Kaz, bleeding out on the battered concrete, glass digging into his flesh and wounds a complete mess, that he had seen far more days at war than he would ever imagine, he had killed more men that he could count.` Why did I ever sign up for this? ` A brief thought passes across a clouding mind, judgement poor in these circumstances.
His mother wouldn’t be proud of him. His father wouldn’t be proud of him. The Japanese Special Defense Force was nothing, it wasn’t an accomplishment, and it wasn’t anything to be proud of. The uniform he wore was one he donned only because Japan’s Peace Constitution prohibited use of an actual army. Nothing mattered anymore—maybe going out in a mess of splattered blood and limbs blown to bits would be filled with more pride.
` I won’t lose—I won’t lose… we won’t lose, not again. `
The hand he still had feeling in, the one that wasn’t torn, cut up, and currently losing so much blood it was a wonder just how he was still able to see straight… it was resting around a grenade, fingers placed on the pin, ready to yank it free, as the man before him began slow steps towards. He was going on about honor, dignity, some other garbage regarding the loss of feeling in his arm… how it didn’t matter and whatever else, Kaz had honestly tuned him out—why should he have respect for the man, the monster, who killed his unit?
Granted, it was hard to say he truly cared about any of them, but that wasn’t the point. ` That’s it. Come on… just a little closer—a little closer and it’ll all be over. If I’m going out, I’m taking you with me, you sonofabitch. ` Before he knew it, pulling his hand out, the grenade, from it’s hiding place, two gloved hands were clasped tightly over it, leaving Kaz slightly confused until he realized his reflexes, as usual, weren’t quite fast enough. ` Maybe I’ll get lucky… maybe I’ll meet you in hell some day… ` He had already bought himself a one-way ticket.
Without anything there to distract himself from his loss of blood, Kaz glanced up at the eye-patched man through blurred vision. He cocked his head only slightly, though it was probably more safe to say that it had fallen, slumped to the side on it’s own—there was a laugh, something that was too amused to be forced, before it was replaced by coughing, a wet noise in the back of his throat that filled his mouth with the taste of metal. A ring of blackness clouded his eyes and soon, soon he was allowing himself to be pulled under, pulled into the depths of darkness— With a smile on his face.