when we were travelling home by train, you told me a stranger looked at us from where they were sitting and smiled because they saw us share headphones. i wonder if a stranger saw us sit on the hill at the beach while we meditated and watched the sunset, what did they think of us? i wonder what people thought when they saw us sitting between all those elderly people, listening to an organ concert that we hadn’t planned to attend, all whispering and gesturing silently to each other, leaning in closer automatically. i lingered a little longer sometimes just because i think you smell good, i wonder what you’d think of that.
you encouraged me to drink more water and when i did you told me “atta girl” which my stomach feel funny, did you notice that? you made a little whining noise when i sat across from you in the train instead of next to you after we transferred, was that because you wanted to listen to my music or because you secretly wanted me closer? you refuse to let me travel alone for longer than two hours yet you’ll be too stubborn to change plans so that you can get home earlier. you never let me talk negatively about myself. you wants to visit south korea when i go there again and i want to visit your country so that you can tour me. or maybe, secretly, it’s because i want you closer.
at the end of the day, a few minutes before one in the morning, we said our goodbyes. you hugged me tightly and gave me a kiss on the cheek. i waited and waited and kept myself from falling asleep before receiving a text from you where you let me know you got home safely. you called me a sweetie in your native language, something you taught me earlier that day when we were walking alongside the seashore. i went to sleep around thirty past two with a smile on my face.
- 16.07.2022