#;ilya

[rinkholy]

@withinycu

Ilya's drunk. Maybe a little too drunk. Maybe too hung up on Shane dating fucking Rose Landry. God dammit--why does he do this to himself?

[TXT Sasha]: i miss you sometimes.

[TXT Sasha]: especially right now

Stupid stupid stupid--

[rinkholy]

you can spit in shanes mouth. you can even spit cum into his mouth....and ilyas too!

[rinkholy]

@homotia said: for idolatry verse, set after the attempt: shane fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, unable to stay still, avoids eye contact with ilya & presses his back against the wall with eyes darting around the room.

The tension ever since has been palpable, almost too much for Ilya to bear. At least after he attempted, both times he was immediately sent to a hospital for evaluation and put in a hold. At least there, he had space, time to think, time to decompress. This just feels...suffocating in a way that he doesn't know how to handle. He knew how to tiptoe around his father. He knew how to move around Shane before all of this. At least with the explosiveness of it all, Ilya knew what to expect.

This? This is new territory. This is something that sits like a rock in his gut, leaves a bitter, acrid taste in his mouth. If he were smart, he would've divorced him and ran a long time ago. But Ilya never claimed to be sensible, at least not when it comes to Shane Hollander.

He's trying to journal. Trying to get his feelings out on paper. It helps. His therapist is insistent that he stays consistent with it. Ilya isn't sure what he's going to tell her about what happened recently, or if he'll tell her at all. However, he can feel Shane's presence in the room, hovering like a ghost. Ilya sighs, pushing a hand through his hair before he shuts his journal and turns to look at him.

"You don't have to do this, you know. You're allowed to exist around me, Shane. I--everything is...it's fine. I'm not mad." Or he's trying very hard not to be. "Okay?"

[rinkholy]

something something ilya pulls away from sasha bc grigori thinks sasha is a poor influence and isnt quiet abt it. ilya thinks if he listens and stops engaging w/ sasha then maybe thatll take a target off sashas back specifically. its easier to pretend to not like someone than it is for ilya to yearn but guess what! hes a chronic yearner!

[rinkholy]

@hollanders24 said: ❝ wait are you jealous? ❞ ( from my shane to your ilya 👀 )

"Jealous? Of what?"

Ilya knows that he's playing dumb and that Shane might see right through him, but he has to admit that the relief that rushes through him after Shane tells him that he's no longer dating Rose is a little embarrassing. So sure, maybe he was jealous. Maybe he spent these few months practically stalking Shane's every move in regards to Rose because he couldn't fucking stand the thought of it. So what? People do that all the time, right?

Right?

"No, I wasn't jealous. Don't be ridiculous," he says as he takes a rather large swig of his beer, letting out a long breath. Ilya would rather die than admit that that's exactly what he was feeling. Pulling all of his teeth out one by one might be easier than talking about his feelings. "She wasn't good match for you anyways, Hollander. Too preppy."

[rinkholy]

@irozanova

Ilya yawns as he stumbles down the stairs, dragging down the bag that Irina had apparently packed for him. It's late, though he doesn't know how late, and he knows that Papa was working the overnight shift that night. Where could they be going without him? He blearily rubs his eyes and sits down on the couch, trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes.

"Shouldn't we wait for Papa? And Andrei?" he asks, not quite grasping what was going on just yet. "It's so late, Mama. I'm sleepy. Where are we going?"

[rinkholy]

@captainswinged said: Hayden arrives at the Hollander-Rozanov Residence with two large boxes of pizza and an equally huge bottle of coke under his arm, smiling fondly as he knocks, waiting to be let inside. Yes, this is a peace offering. He wants to make this work. He wants to put in effort. For Shane and for his own peace of mind. (Captainswinged <3 mostly for Ilya, you know why, but feel free to reply with your Shane alongside him xD)

Ilya can't say that he's dreading it, no. Hayden is...fine. Hayden is fine. Even if he still holds a little bit of resentment for the whole outing debacle, but Ilya's mostly gotten over it. Besides, he can't resist Shane when he asks him to play nice, so play nice he does. He's capable of it, at the very least. So he gets up and answers the door, raising his brows as he looks Hayden up and down. "You know, Shane would have a heart attack if he saw what you're bringing into our home." He snorts, stepping aside to let him in.

Anya, however, is always excited to see Hayden, jumping down from the couch and running around his legs. "Shane is out for a little bit, so it's just us."