I had a post that I sadly cannot find now, about how "It's still you, after all this time" feels so much better than "it's no longer you", and today I realized the reason is probably vulnerability
the phrase "it's no longer you" shields you from taking responsibility, from the future you taking responsibility of all the crewmates you sacrificed, from acknowledging your grief and that it's still there— it shields you from healing
the phrase "after all this time, it is still you" --- i don't know the original context, I know it from a meme with maedhros and the silmaril — acknowledges that it had been you, it was you who did all the murders, it was you who was this lovely happy child, it was you who burned brighter than his father, it was all you, and the person whom you mangled so much is not gone, it is still you, and you are still recognized and loved all the same—
it hurts much more.
life hurts deeper than death, but it is worth it
