#{musing};

[boxbrownies-blog]

current mood: in need of an exorcism. or a margarita. not sure which.

[lioxmp]

[Self-para] Unsent letter #23

December, 2018

Hey Lo,

It’s been a heavy day, bro. Heavy as in me missing you.

Today this whole island feels like you, you know? Looking like it’s killing me, but it’s actually my last, my strongest, shield against the world. Keeping me safe from myself.

Today I saw the sun at midnight and the moon in the deep blue sky. I’m not 100% my sober self, I know; that’s just the price you had to pay for two bottles of whiskey drank neat. But I’m not drunk enough to not realize what’s been missing from this new, fucking exciting life of mine.

Loren

It’s been a while, isn’t it? I wonder if you still remember the last movie we watched together. You’d always forced me to watch those silly action comedies then got mad when I tried to enlighten you on how to work a gun right.

And then the times when you made me sit through a boring sappy piece so I claimed all the rights in the world to keep my mouth shut and fall asleep halfway. Until now I still can’t be sure if that’s just another odd leisure pursuit you’ve got, or that’s how you took revenge on me for ruining our movie nights.

Anyways, can we do all of that again?

Even here I’ve seen no stars shining brighter than your eyes when you talk about yet another random obsession you’ve discovered along your way. 

Maybe you’ve already known by now that I like watching you rambling. No action comedies can ever hold a candle to that, I swear. 

Where are you now?

I hope you’re doing great. I hope the nice lady you call mom is doing great as well.

Have you found what you’ve been looking for yet?

What have you been looking for?

fuck I feel like a terribly terrible friend asking such questions, on a fucking damn piece of paper and not directly to your –handsome– stupid face.

I’m wondering if we’ll ever meet again, so that I can collect my debt. You still owe me your life, you wrinkled saggy ass. Ain’t it’s your turn to rescue me now?

Today’s so heavy, Lo.

Where the fuck are you?